Don't ya know
by aprileagle
Summary: COMPLETE! Life can be hard. Especially when you are a teenager. When you see strange shadows. When you realize that you are a little bit different from the other girls in your class. When you recognize that you are in love with your best friend...
1. Prologue: A mirror's reflection

Cover the mirror, hide in your dreams

Forget what they told you, forget what it means

A picture worth a thousand lies, the memory and the mirror

Nothing but what came before, nothing but a closing door

A picture worth a thousand lies, a thousand words, a thousand eyes

Cover the madness, cover the fear

No one will ever know you were here

A figure in the hallway light, returning like a ghost

Something that was left behind, something in a child's mind

A picture worth a thousand lies, a thousand words, a thousand eyes

A shadow from another time is waiting in the night

Something happened long ago, something that will not let go

Bury my lovely, hide in your room

Bury my lovely, forget me soon, forget me

Forget me now, forget me now

("Bury my lovely" by October Project)

**Author's note:**

I liked the fifth period best. Not because of the Star Lights appearing. Not because of Haruka and Michiru returning. But because of Hotaru being Sailor Saturn again. The most powerful senshi of them all. Even more powerful than Sailor Uranus. And the most frightening one. She's able to destroy the whole world with her scythe. One wink is enough and the whole universe stops to exists.

Nice power. Scary power. Welcomed power?

That was the question that simply didn't leave me in peace. Whenever I saw Sailor Saturn fighting with her huge powers and everyone tries to hinder her, that everyone is frightened of her, I thought of smiling Hotaru playing with her cards with Chibiusa. And I asked myself if Hotaru really wanted this power. If she wanted the eternal power to kill them all. If she was happy to be that senshi.

Or if she wanted to ran away badly.

I got the answer while listening to the song "Bury my lovely" by October Project. So I write it down. Maybe I write more about Hotaru in this story, but for all Haruka and Michiru fans, don't worry, they're still her loving parents.

Disclaimer: All senshi belong to Takeuchi Naoko, however the story is mine. This story is for people at the age of 14 and older. Some scenes in chapter five are more for people around 16 and older. (rolls her eyes: This is NOT a lemon).

If you want to ask me some questions or if you have any comments about this story: Feel free to write to aprileaglefreenet.de . I'll answer every letter. I promise.

This story is for my Adri-chan and my Laura-chan who waited long enough for it. Enjoy it -.

And the Sejya in this story is for you, Orion -.

Guess my most favourite character is indeed Hotaru. If I had been her, I would have covered all those mirrors, too.

**Don't ya know**

**(by April Eagle)**

**Prologue: A mirror's reflection**

It was dark in the room.

Black curtains covered the windows, excluded the warm sunshine. Only some little lamps tried to bright up the small room, the little life. But they weren't powerful enough.

It was cold in the room.

She laid under her thin blanket and froze. Her little body shivered. So little. So fragile. So ill. She coughed and tried to stand up. To leave this bed she hated so much. To leave this room. To escape this life she didn't want to live any longer. Not after she had seen the fear in her friend's eyes. Now there were no friends left. She hurt them all. She, the witch.

It was silent in the room.

Nothing could be heard. The window pointed out to a big garden. The street was at the other side of the house. Not even the cars could disturb her sleep. A sleep she simply couldn't find any longer. Partly because of the pain that raged in her little body. It got worse and worse with every day. The attacks got more and more frequently and not even the medicine her father gave her could alleviate them any longer. But she could bare it. She always had bare it. Her whole life. She couldn't remember another time. A happier time. She could bare it. Not like the pain raging in her heart.

Please...

She wanted to cry it out loud. But there was no one around. She knew it. Her father was at work and that bloody woman... she didn't care about her. She wasn't her daughter, not even a relative. She was nothing. No one would realize when she would die. No one would mourn. No one would remember...

Please...

She felt as if she was already dead. As if she was buried in this house. For all times. Until her weak heart would finally give up. At last. After endless suffering. Senseless suffering.

Please...

It took her all her powers to turn her head and to stare at the picture that stood next to her bed on a small table. It showed her together with another girl. Her best friend. Her only friend. She lost her, too. Because of her stupid body. Of her bloody illness. Of her cursed soul.

Please...

On that picture she had laughed. It was the only moment she could remember that she had been happy. In those soft but the same time so strong arms. For hours she could have listened to that always happy voice. For days she could have watched into deep always shinning eyes. For eternity she could have stayed this way. In her embracement. Feeling for only a tiny moment in her life that she was loved.

Please...

She heard how the bell rang. Then the door was opened and two voices shouted at each other. They argued and her dark eyes grew wide as she recognized the higher voice. Her voice.

It can't be...

She wanted to shook her head but groaned slightly as that motion hurt more than she could bare. Her father already gave her some pain killers. But they didn't work any longer. They couldn't bring her any health any longer. All they could give her was a silent death. One day. Hopefully soon.

Please...

"Hotaru?" The door was opened and a girl entered the dark room. She smiled surprised. Not only a girl, but her girl. Her eyes sparkled happily and she felt how the young girl knelt down next to her on the hard mattress of her narrow bed and took her icy hand.

Her hand is so soft. So warm. So lively.

"Are you okay? Hotaru!" There were tears in those big eyes she loved so much. Tears she wanted to wipe away. But she didn't even have the power any more to raise her hand and to stroke calming over redden cheeks.

Little darling...

She didn't even have the power any longer to speak.

I love you...

"Hotaru! Say a word..." Now those wonderful tears were wetting that beautiful face. The little girl started terribly to sob and she wondered why she cried. She was dying, she knew it. But that was good. Finally it all would be over. Finally she would have her peace, her freedom. Finally she wouldn't be bound to that weak body any longer. And she knew, she would never really leave that beautiful girl. Not as long as she could be her guardian angel.

"Taru..."

At that moment the red haired bitch entered the room. She wanted to scream that she shouldn't take away the girl from her. That her little darling should stay by her side, that she didn't want to die all alone. That she wanted to die in those soft arms, but she had no powers. All she could do was to stare helpless how her father's assistant took the now screaming girl in her arms and pulled her rudely out of the room.

"TARU!"

The scream was full of despair and sadness. It hurt more than every injection, than every attack. Than every bone that broke in her body when she was a small child. When her mother died. When her father decided to let her live - although she was already dead. Deep inside...

Please...

She felt tears in her eyes as well. Felt how it got more and more complicate to breath. Felt how her whole body refused to move any longer. How her heart stopped to beat.

Please, don't leave me alone, little darling.

She got more and more tired. Still hearing the other girl's screams. Until they silenced.

Please, love me, little darling.

The last thing she saw was a closing door. Then she gave up and welcomed the darkness that surrounded her.

Happily she held the toy bunny in the air and laughed loudly as a tender hand stroke through her fluffy dark hairs.

"Do you really think that it was such a good idea?"

She heard the low voice and turned her head. And spread her arms towards the tall woman standing on the other side of her cradle.

"Of course. She loves you, don't you see it?" laughed another voice teasing and the little girl felt loved and satisfied.

"Sure, because she doesn't know me yet." Declared the tall woman and balanced the hot bottle in her hands. It was filled with milk and she knew that it tasted the small girl in the cradle. Her father was in Kyoto the next week and he asked them to take care for her. She groaned and came very, very slowly nearer.

And of course Michi agreed!

"Ruka!" Michiru rose and walked over to the kitchen to look after their supper. Her lover was old enough to heat the baby's bottle up, but she was surely not old enough to take care for a whole dinner.

She would burn it.

Michiru giggled and knelt down before the oven to look at their Lasagne.

"Are you hungry?" asked Haruka and looked helpless over to the kitchen. But Michiru cared for their food and it didn't look as if she would return soon. The little girl in her cradle stretched her arms even wider and looked greedy at the bottle in her hands. "Sure you are." She looked again over to the kitchen but she knew that she couldn't await any help from her lover.

That's typical Michiru! She offers her help and then I have to do everything!

Haruka sighed deeply and put the bottle down on the table. Then she knelt down before the cradle and looked for some seconds thoughtful at the little girl. Then she reached into the cradle and wondered why her hands shook so suddenly.

Hopefully she doesn't start to cry yet! Please, don't start to cry! I can't see little children cry!

She took a deep breath before she took the baby in her arms. But nothing happened. The little girl didn't start to scream. Not even to whimper. Instead she grabbed for blonde strands and started again to laugh happily. Haruka looked down into the shinning face for some seconds and gulped. And gulped again. And automatically rocked the little baby.

"Himme-chan..."

It wasn't more than a shaky whisper. She knew who this baby was. The future senshi of death. An outer senshi. A part of the Sailor family. And doctor Tomoe's daughter. But somehow... somehow she had been afraid to touch her. The past six months she avoided it to get closer with the little baby who always looked at her with her big, purple eyes. After Hotaru died and became Mistress nine and Sailor Saturn all in one Haruka didn't know what to do. She had been confused with her feelings and her thoughts. She wanted to destroy that evil enemy who wanted to destroy the whole world. But the same time she wanted to protect the youngest senshi. And she wanted to rescue the girl behind the mighty scythe. That confusion got worse and worse after Sailor Moon was able to save Hotaru and to gave her a second chance, a second life. Slowly the confusion turned into anger and then into fear. A fear Haruka would have never admitted to herself.

"Little princess..."

The fear of losing her again. Michiru and she had lived in Mugen Gakkuen, the school Hotaru's father founded, and there they got to know the little, always ill child. And they got to love her.

Haruka gulped again and closed her eyes to enjoy the warm baby in her arms. To hear her fast breaths. To feel her tiny heart beat next to her own slower one. As she opened her eyes again she saw Michiru standing next to her. She smiled tenderly and messed her blonde hairs.

"Don't you think the great daddy should feed the cute, little daughter?" she teased and frowned as she saw suddenly tears sparkling in dark green eyes. Tears she had hardly ever seen in her lover's eyes.

Daddy?

Daughter?

"Hey, we're just 19. We're too young to have a daughter." Answered Haruka in her typical low voice and went over to the couch and sat down. The next minutes they spent watching little Hotaru drinking her milk. Then she did her burp and yawned tiredly.

"Do you really think so?" smiled Michiru and leaned against her girlfriend's shoulder.

"Nani?"

Haruka knew that she had to lay the little girl back into her cradle. Hotaru was tired and she would sleep the rest of the night - or at least the next five hours if they were happy. But somehow she couldn't. Somehow she wanted to hold her tight that way. Not only for the next five minutes. Not only for the following week. But for the rest of her life.

"I mean, are we really too young for a daughter?"

Dark green eyes grew wide and Haruka held Hotaru tighter in her strong arms while she watched her girlfriend for some seconds in silence.

"Do you want to have a baby?" she asked silently. And a little bit sad. Because she knew that she would never be the father of Michiru's child. She was a woman, too. And still medicine wasn't ready to graduate them their greatest dream.

"Maybe." Giggled Michiru and leaned forward to kiss her lover. She giggled even more as tiny hands grabbed her sea green hairs and held them determinedly tight. "At least for the next week."

With those words Michiru jumped from the couch and took again care for their supper. Haruka only shrugged her shoulders and took Michiru's mirror in her hands. Her girlfriend liked it a lot and it laid always on the living room's table. Without thinking she put it into Hotaru's stretched arms. The little girl liked it how the setting's sunshine was reflected in the sparkling glass. She babbled some sounds and turned the mirror around and around.

"Maybe not parents..." Haruka sighed slightly and stroke thoughtful over dark hairs. Not wanting to admit that the little girl felt fantastic in her arms. That it felt right to hold her that way. "But maybe loving aunts... what do ya think, little princess?"

The sunshine broke and the mirror was suddenly filled with shadows. Little Hotaru frowned and her laughter died away. The smile faded from her tiny face and suddenly tears sparkled in her eyes. She touched the glass with her hands and at the next moment her dark eyes grew wide. Loudly she started to cry and threw the mirror away. It cracked as it hit the ground.

Nani?

Haruka frowned as the little girl suddenly started to cry in her arms. She saw big tears running down redden cheeks and tried to comfort her. But little Hotaru didn't want any comfort. She simply cried on and on and didn't stop again.

"Michi?" Haruka rose from the couch while rocking the little girl who clenched her fists and got redder and redder in her face. As if she was going to asphyxiate. "Michiru!"

The next moment her girlfriend was by her side. She looked as concerned down at the screaming baby as Haruka and not even her funny faces which mostly made Hotaru laugh couldn't cheer the baby up.

"What have you done, Ruka?" asked Michiru and took the crying girl in her arms. But little Hotaru simply kept crying and not even the calm young woman could comfort her. "She looks so terrified - has anything happened?"

"No..."

For some seconds startled green eyes looked into asking blue ones.

"Maybe she gets her first teeth." Suspected Michiru and walked through the whole living room with the little girl in her arms. But Hotaru kept crying and clenching her fists.

"Maybe..."

At that moment the telephone rang. Haruka and Michiru exchanged again glances and the tall blonde went over to the kitchen to answer the phone. The sea goddess started to hum a sweet melody as her lover returned two minutes later. Michiru knew at the moment that something bad happened. Haruka was very pale and there was a look in dark green eyes Michiru never wanted to see again. Not after the battle in the St. Marien's cathedral. Not after the final battle against Mistress nine.

"Ruka?" she asked, still rocking the little girl in her arms. Her girlfriend didn't seem to hear her. She stepped nearer and stroke calming over Hotaru's wet cheeks. Michiru gulped as she saw how much her lover's hands trembled.

"Ruka?"

"Guess now you'll have your chance to be a good mother, Michi..." whispered Haruka after a long moment of silence and wiped away more tears streaming down Hotaru's cheeks. The baby screamed and cried and didn't want to stop again.

"Ruka?" asked Michiru and felt the panic growing inside her body. Inside her chest. Inside her stomach. Suddenly she felt very, very sick.

"It was the hospital who called us up. A Dr. Tawaga." Haruka swallowed hard and simply embraced her Michi with the little girl in her arms. "Dr. Tomoe had a deadly accident."

"Mommy! I JUMP!"

The little girl laughed out loud as she jumped from the basin rim right into her mother's wide opened arms. Michiru giggled and held her Hotaru tight for some moments. Before she let her go again and the little girl swam into the nice water like a fish. She was now almost five years old and she loved the wet element. Just like her mommy. Every evening they took a long bath in the house's swimming pool. Normally Haruka joined them. But today was the last race of this year's grand prix of Japan. She didn't have to win it. She already got enough points so that no one would reach her. But she said that it would be unfair to hang lazy around while the other racers did their very best. They all earned a fair and good opponent.

Hope you'll win.

It was in the middle of August. Normally Michiru took Hotaru and they both watched Haruka race. And win. And laugh. And be splashed with all that champagne. And to embrace her family afterwards. But Hotaru had been ill the past week and she didn't want her flu to return. It hadn't been dangerous but Michiru could be very frightened if anything happened to her daughter. Just like Haruka.

Hope you're awake today. After you was awake almost every night the past week.

Haruka didn't want to sleep as long as Hotaru had high fever. The whole nights she sat there at the tiny bed and held a sweaty hand in her strong ones. To tell with her low voice silent fairy tales. To cheer Hotaru up. To cool her hot forehead. To be simply be there whenever the little girl needed her.

Michiru smiled up to the sunset and threw the ball carefully back her daughter discovered in the even water.

Hope you'll beat them all, honey.

"Catch!" Hotaru laughed happily as she threw the big water ball again. It was purple. Her most favourite colour. It splashed as it returned and dark hairs pasted wet to her forehead. Hotaru grinned as she took it again in her hands and held it over her head. Again she wanted to throw it as she saw the shadow. Beneath her. In the water. Under the surface.

A birdie?

She lowered her head and frowned as she saw the shadow. Standing next to her. Embracing another shadow. Another person. A person she knew. She loved. With all her little heart.

Daddy...

The ball fell out of her hands and suddenly she started to tremble.

Daddy?

She swallowed hard and tears streamed suddenly over her cheeks. She didn't see her mommy's shocked face. Nor did she hear the concerned voice. All she realized was the shadow in the water's reflection threatening the ones she loved.

"Daddy!"

She didn't hear her own voice screaming any longer. Hotaru only turned around and jumped out of the water and raced through the whole house. Leaving wet puddles on the soft carpets. Her shaking hands grabbed the phone and although she was a little girl she knew the number by heart. She had often dealt it. When she had been too small to go to the race track.

"Can I talk to my daddy?" she commanded and sobbed even harder. "Please, Shinji! Please, I wanna talk to my daddy..." she cried even louder and didn't even hear the confusion in the male voice at the other side of the phone. A concerned voice who asked if anything happened to her or to her mommy.

"Shinji... please... daddy..." she stammered. Not being aware that Michiru just entered the house and stared at her with big blue eyes. How she went next to her on her knees and wrapped a soft towel around her shaking body before she took her trembling daughter into her warm arms.

Himme-chan, what's wrong? 

She could hear her lover's excited voice in the phone the next moment. Someone yelled in the background that they had only five minutes left until the race would begin. Shortly Haruka snapped back that she already had the title and that she wanted to talk to her daughter. And that she would start - later. Even if she was on the last position.

Hey, little princess, everything okay with you and your mommy? 

Hotaru only sobbed loudly and nodded although her daddy couldn't see it.

"Hai..." she cried and held the phone tighter in her hands. "Please, daddy, don't you ever leave me. Please!" she cried and trembled even more. Michiru automatically held her tighter and tears sparkled in her blue eyes.

I will never leave you, Himme-chan. answered Haruka and snapped again back to someone in the background who wanted to force her back to her car. Michiru was too concerned to be angry that her lover used naughty words in the presence of their daughter.

"Promise, daddy?"

I promise, little princess. Michiru could almost hear the tender smile on her girlfriend's face. Can I talk to your mommy? 

"Love ya, daddy."

Love ya, too, Himme-chan. 

There was the sound of a tender kiss and then the phone was handled to Michiru. She wanted to say something as she heard the loud crash on the other side of the phone. People were suddenly yelling and running around and she heard how her lover shouted at some guys and walked through the room. Splinters were crunching under her feet. Splinters of broken glass.

"Ruka?" Michiru held the phone again to her ear and looked into purple eyes. She could see her own pale face into the tear's reflection. Could see how frightened her daughter was. The little girl trembled even more and suddenly embraced her mommy with all her powers.

"Ruka?"

Hey, honey, what's up? 

Michiru closed for some seconds her eyes and took a deep breath as she heard her lover's teasing voice.

"Are you alright?"

Of course, Michi. I am fine. There was something in Haruka's voice that made Michiru shiver. It sounded like a silent sob the young car racer couldn't hold back any longer. And I guess I'll be a little bit earlier home this evening, Michi. 'Cause I don't think that I'll take part in that last race any longer. 

Michiru opened her eyes again and saw directly into her daughter's face. Saw the hopeful smile between all those tears. Like the sun shinning again after a heavy thunderstorm. The little girl heard her daddy's voice through the phone and knew that her daddy was right. That was all she needed to know. Hotaru smiled happily and crept deeper into her mommy's warm embrace. Felt how she started to stroke through her black hairs. Knew that everything was fine. That her family was safe. That she was loved.

"What happened, Ruka?"

I have no idea, if you still have the receipt of that delicious ice cream. I kinda wanna eat some of it this evening... Michiru could hear the gulp in Haruka's voice and there were many excited voices in the background. And the noise of the fire brigade. I wanna eat it with you and our Himme-chan... 

"Ruka? What happened?" asked Michiru again and decided to call a taxi the next minutes. To get to the arena as fast as possible. To be there for her lover. And to take her home.

I... I have no idea... again Haruka gulped at the other side of the phone and more people yelled in the background. The siren of the fire brigade was now very near and Michiru almost missed Haruka's next words. Very silent words. Almost like a whisper.

My car exploded, Michi... 

She opened the fridge and stroke some strands of her shoulder long hairs behind her ears. Shortly she looked at the content and smiled satisfied. No one had touched her chocolate cake she made the last evening. Not even her daddy who looked very greedy while her auntie helped her to make it.

It's her most favourite cake.

Although it was normal that she invited her best friend she was a little bit excited. Of course they would spend the half evening playing with the dolls her best friend would bring with her and the rest of the evening they would sneak under her bed's blanket and watch a horror video. Hoping that her parents wouldn't find out. They weren't children any longer. They were already nine and eight years old and loved every scary movie – until they had to go into the cellar to get some tins for supper.

Only one hour.

Hotaru looked down at her watch and giggled as the voices raised near. She closed the fridge and corrected the sheet of paper showing one sentence in big letters: Eat this and you'll regret it. Still no one touched it. Still. But Hotaru knew that her daddy would look at her with her big green eyes and plead silently for a piece. Just like her best friend always did.

"I won't let Michi play again on such a big stage!" yelled a very angry voice and Hotaru sighed deeply.

"And why not? She's a violinist, Haruka! She needs her music and the show. And still she's not..." The other voice was the same angry and the same low. Hotaru shrugged her shoulders and went over to the living room. She was used to those arguments. The two persons standing near to the opened window and staring at each other with sparkling eyes never liked each other. As Hotaru grew up she got to know that. She loved her daddy and she liked uncle Sejya a lot. But together – that was a deadly combination.

"I won't let my pregnant wife play any longer on those stages. Not until our child is born!" Haruka clenched her fists and made her point clear.

"You're only jealous of her talent!" Sejya clenched his fists, too and wind played with his long dark hairs he had bound together on his back, as always.

Hotaru sighed deeply and leaned against the wall to watch them. With a laughing and a crying face as her best friend always called it when her own mommy and the priestess of Crystal Tokyo argued.

"I am only concerned about her health and our child!"

"YOUR child? Don't you tell me that you..."

"Our child!"

"But you're two women... how..."

"Medicine improved a lot during the past years, Sejya."

"Nani?"

Hotaru rolled her eyes again as she saw how they both got more and more excited. There used to be only little, only harmless fights between them the past years. But since the past autumn Sejya got more and more irritated. The slightest problem grew to a world war for him and Haruka simply had a too hot temper than to overhear his exaggerated reactions. He shouted with mostly no reason and of course the tall blonde had to shout back. It seemed to be their nature to be angry with each other. Although Hotaru never understood it. She liked them both a lot.

Maybe it's because his family went away...

Hotaru frowned as they both grabbed after each other's collars to beat each other – again. As they did a lot during the past five months. Since princess Kakyuu decided to go back to her home planet and to try to rebuild it again Sejya was often very depressed and in a very bad mood. That mood didn't change when Tahiki and Yaten decided to go with their princess. The whole Sailor Team had been shocked when Setsuna declared that she would go with her Yaten and return whenever they needed her. That right now no enemy was threatening Crystal Tokyo and the earth and that she only wanted to be happy with her Yaten. Usagi agreed and so they left, too. Only Sejya stayed. He didn't say a reason why he didn't go with them. Why he didn't want to return to his home planet. Hotaru once had heard how her mommy and her daddy talked over him. How her mommy said that he only stayed because of the queen and that he somehow still hoped to be loved by her. Her daddy only shrugged her shoulders and responded that he was a real baka. Although Hotaru didn't understand. She knew the queen. She was a very, very nice person and she loved all persons in her kingdom. Of course she loved uncle Sejya, too. Once she told that the queen and Usagi had looked very sad for some seconds. Then she had hugged her best friend's daughter and declared her that she was a cute child and that she would understand later. When she was older.

"You baka!"

"You idiot!"

"You jerk!"

"You asshole!"

They looked like two animals. Like two tigers ready for the final jump.

At that moment the lion stepped between them and looked very critically at them – as if they were two little children behaving wrongly.

"Haruka! Sejya!" Ami looked at them in anger. She was still holding a thick folder in her hands and sighed deeply. "Can't you just once shut up? I want to learn! Is that so hard? It's the last exam and I want to pass it."

At that point her daddy started to grin and Hotaru had to giggle, too as auntie Ami blushed deeply.

"You mean, you want to be the best. No one doubts, that you'll pass, Ami."

The water senshi coughed and held her folder tighter in her hands. "I am not that sure. Not since May-chan makes our nights to days." She yawned and turned around to go back into the garden where she hoped to get a little bit peace to learn. And not to fall asleep.

Mayumi.

Hotaru grinned as she remembered her niece. And her best friend. Right after the princess of Crystal Tokyo. A cute little girl with blue hairs. She was auntie Ami's daughter and she was now two years old. Her parents had been shocked when the medicine student told them that she was pregnant. She didn't tell them who the father was nor how she managed to get pregnant. But all the other aunts helped her and they were very crazy about the little girl with the intelligent eyes – and the wild temper. Auntie Mina often complaint that it was all Haruka's fault. That she was for too long the baby sitter and that every girl in her near automatically got very wild. Hotaru could remember how loud her daddy had laughed and only declared that she, Minako, wasn't any better. At that point the famous singer who started a solo career some years ago blushed deeply and whispered some words while she tried to catch her best friend's daughter.

Hotaru still leaned against the wall and watched how the blue haired woman walked outside the garden and looked into her folder. She wanted to finish her studies the last year, but then her daughter was born and she simply needed one year of peace and rest. That year she spent mostly here to relax. Mostly auntie Minako was around when she wasn't on tour and teased the medicine student around. Just like the little girl who loved the crazy singer soon almost as much as her real mother. Since that year Hotaru wanted to have a little sister. Just like her parents suddenly wanted to have a baby, too. They often walked to the hospital and now her mommy was pregnant. Still Hotaru didn't understand what happened and how it all worked, but she knew that she would get a little sister and that was all that counted. Her best friend was jealous but mostly she was as happy as she was.

Haruka just turned around and looked again at Sejya.

"No. And that's my last word!" she growled and then went over to her daughter. "When shall we fetch up Chibiusa?" she asked and stroke loving over messed dark hairs almost touching shaking shoulders. Because her daughter had to giggle. Her cheeks were redden and she looked simply happy.

"Little darling surely needs another half an hour." Giggled Hotaru and looked again at her watch. "Can we go in about ten minutes?" she smiled happily and couldn't await to show her best friend her new card game. To play it with her. And to tease her around whenever she lost.

"Of course. Get your jacket and your shoes." Said Haruka and went over to the kitchen. To make herself a coffee to calm down her nerves. She almost did it again. She almost hit Sejya again – although she promised her wife not to lose control again.

Sejya clenched his fist again and looked again out of the window. Hotaru was wise enough not to disturb him. Instead she run out to the corridor to get her jacket. It was in the middle of summer and it was very hot but the wind could be dangerous and she didn't want to get a flu.

Little darling...

She grinned and turned shortly towards the mirror to comb her messed hairs again. No matter what she did she always looked like a tomboy. Just like her mommy always said. With a little pride in her voice.

Hope she won't eat my chocolate...

Hotaru froze in motion as she saw the sunlight being reflected in the mirror. Just like her own person. Being suddenly very pale. Then she saw what she had felt during the past seconds. What made her shiver. What made her whole body tremble, her whole head ache. The shadow crept slowly nearer. She couldn't see the face. She had never been able to see the face, nor the eyes. But she knew the appearance. The shadow who was a little bit taller than her. And who was threatening. Whenever it appeared something evil was happening.

Please...

She held her breath and the next moment she shook her head in disbelieve as she saw the other person right behind her. Being embraced by the shadow. Being almost covered by its darkness.

No...

Hotaru hang her jacket over the mirror and turned around. She jumped upstairs, taking two steps at once.

"Mommy!" her scream filled the whole house by the sea just like tears filled her purple eyes.

No, not her!

She crashed the door to her parent's sleeping room and crossed it while she stumbled over different clothes laying on the ground. Her mother obviously wanted to take a shower.

"Mommy!" again she screamed and wanted to open the door to her parent's bathroom. But it was locked. She shook it and tried to open it, but she wasn't strong enough. "Mommy!" now she cried and kicked against the door. But no one answered. Not even the slightest sound could be heard.

No, please, don't take her away from me. I need her. We all need her.

Hotaru sobbed even harder and felt suddenly strong arms taken her carefully away from the door. She raised her head and looked shortly into concerned green eyes. Her daddy was the same pale she was.

"Michi?" Haruka frowned and knocked against the door. No one answered. "Darling? Are you alright?" Another knock. Again no response.

Nani?

"Michiru!" Now Haruka raised her voice and gulped. Shortly she looked around and saw directly in Hotaru's terrified eyes. Knowing that something terrible just happened. Somehow. She couldn't define that feeling but it was like death fear. A fear she didn't feel during the past years. Not since they defeated Galactica.

"Darling? I am coming in!" shouted Haruka and carefully pushed her daughter out of the way. She didn't notice how Ami and Sejya entered the room, too. She only took all her powers and kicked the door. The lock broke immediately and the door cracked with a loud noise against the tiles.

"Michi?" Haruka didn't see the blood that covered the soft carpet next to a filled tube. She didn't hear Hotaru's sobs nor the other's shocked gasps. She only saw her angel. Kneeling right in the middle of that red sea. Holding her stomach and making a painful face. Tears were streaming over her shrunken cheeks and as Haruka embraced her carefully she felt how much her wife trembled.

"Michi?"

Haruka swallowed hard while Ami bit hard on her lower lip and took a crying Hotaru in her arms. She knew what happened. She had seen that a lot during her education and she knew that she couldn't help the life that just extinguished. Without ever having the chance of existing. All they could do was to take care for Michiru the best they could. To comfort her and to make her sure that it wasn't her fault.

Sejya gasped again for breath. Then he turned around and Ami could hear him running downstairs. Surely to call the ambulance.

"Michi?" Haruka rocked her wife tenderly and kissed those wet cheeks. Kneeling next to her in the blood. Feeling how tears ran down her cheeks as well.

"Gomen, Ruka..." sobbed Michiru and tried to creep deeper into her wife's arms. "I lost our little one."

She sat down behind the steering wheel and took automatically the sunglasses on. A smile bloomed on her face as she reached for the seat belt and put it over her grown belly. For some seconds she touched it and whispered some soft words to the unborn child in her womb.

"Is it really okay? I know that the palace is on the other end of the city. I can take the bike and..."

Haruka looked up and shook her head.

"No problem, princess. Just get in. We'll be at the palace in less than ten minutes." She smiled and automatically Hotaru grinned back, taking her own sunglasses on. She jumped into the car and put her back bag on the back seat. Then she winked to her mommy who stood on the balcony and held a violin in her arms. The past year had been very hard for all of them. But her mommy found comfort in her daddy and in her music. And since the past December they all were happy again. Since a wonder happened.

Hotaru took her own seat belt and saw how her daddy searched for nice music in the CD player. Christmas was now five months ago and now they all could see under the light clothes her daddy wore that the fast car racer awaited a little child. A little girl as they got to know just two weeks ago. Since that day the sun seemed to be brighter, the green seemed to be greener and the whole world seemed to be greater.

My sis.

Hotaru grinned as her daddy speeded up. Of course Michiru tried to hinder Haruka to drive the silver Ferrari any longer but still the doctor allowed her to drive and Haruka used every chance she got. Just like this time. Soon they reached the speed limit and crossed it. Hotaru sighed happily as the wind played with her hairs and enjoyed every second of that drive. Soon crazy punk music filled the air. Since the pregnancy her daddy changed her music style a little bit. She stopped listening to calm classic music and preferred rock, especially wild punk music. Michiru always teased her around that this child would be born a punk rocker but Haruka only laughed and said that it would be at least better than every song someone from a boy group could ever sing. After that statement Sejya got very angry and they argued again.

"When shall I fetch you up again, Himme-chan?" asked Haruka while she observed the road if there was any police around. She didn't mind the tickets. She had enough money to pay them. But Michiru's sad look each time when she found out that her pregnant wife raced again her Ferrari, she didn't want to upset her love.

"Oh, just take your time at hospital, daddy." Laughed Hotaru who knew that her daddy hated those hospitals as much as she. "The king will take me home if..." Hotaru turned around and pulled her sunglasses into her shoulder long hairs. She looked at her daddy with that pleading expression in her eyes that always made strong Haruka weak. Just like ice in the sunshine.

"Daddy... today is Friday and tomorrow there's no school. And little darling got this cute guinea pig and we want to play with it and... please, can't I stay with her till tomorrow? Pleeeeasseee, daaaaddy." Hotaru blinked once, twice and got her daddy where she wanted her to be. Haruka sighed deeply and looked shortly over to her daughter who was only ten years old. Very young. Too young. But she knew that Chibiusa was her best friend and that the queen and the king would take care for Hotaru the same they did for Chibiusa. She knew that the little girl was safe there and that nothing would happen to her.

"Did you ask your mother?"

"Well..." said Hotaru who had feared that question and blinked again with her big purple eyes. Haruka giggled and shook her head amused. "Okay, little princess. But no thrillers and you'll go to bed at eight in the evening. And you'll be nice to the king and the queen –and to that poor guinea piggy."

Hotaru grinned happily and leaned satisfied back in her seat.

"Okay, daddy. I promise." She grinned even wider and put her sunglasses again over her eyes. "Arigato, daddy."

Haruka only nodded and concentrated again on the traffic. They were now nearer Crystal Tokyo and there were more cars here than along the beach.

For the next traffic lights they listened to wild music. The tall blonde and her daughter thinking of how they wanted to create their evenings. Haruka had suddenly the desire to go out with her Michi-chan. Into an expensive restaurant and to dance the whole night – as long as she wasn't a complete walrus yet and was still able to dance or even to move. Hotaru dreamed of the guinea pig and of her best friend creeping closer under the blanket to her whenever the murderer found a new victim in those thrillers while she ate one candy after another.

Hotaru turned her head and looked into the rear view mirror. There was no car behind them. Only a biker they overtook some bents ago. It was very hot outside and the asphalt seemed to sparkle. The dark asphalt...

They stopped again at a red traffic light and Hotaru simply couldn't look away from the mirror while her daddy cursed about all those red lights. The street beneath was indeed dark. And it seemed to move. First very, very slowly. But as they speeded up again she could see how the darkness followed her. How the shadow rose from it and came nearer and nearer. Again there was another person in that mirror. Sad eyes looked directly at Hotaru who gasped hard for breath as she recognized that person.

No...

The shadow with no face, with no name, with no voice, embraced that person and tried to cover it. To take it away with it. To take it away from her. Forever.

"NO!" Hotaru screamed out loud and the Ferrari slipped over the whole road while Haruka broke hard. She kicked the radio out and turned towards her daughter. Being very pale in her face. With one hand she held her grown belly, with the other one she shook her daughter's shoulder. But Hotaru only sat on her seat. Automatically she brought her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. Tears streamed over her face and she looked shocked. And deeply hurt.

"What's wrong, princess?" asked Haruka alarmed. She didn't know what was going on but she knew that her daughter would never behave that silly. Hotaru was old enough to make a difference between a bad joke and reality. And how her body trembled, it felt damn real.

What the hell...?

"Himme-chan?" Haruka shivered as her daughter took away the sunglasses and her tear filled eyes grew wide. They looked as if the little girl had seen a ghost.

"Himme-chan?"

"Where lives uncle Sejya?" asked Hotaru and looked searching around. She couldn't recognize that area of Crystal Tokyo and panic grew inside her belly, made her feeling sick and tired. And very sad. "Where's uncle Sejya?"

Nani?

Haruka looked directly into her daughter's eyes and nodded slowly.

"You are concerned about Sejya, aren't you, Himme-chan?"

Hotaru only nodded and more tears streamed over her face.

"Do you want to see him?"

Haruka gulped as Hotaru only nodded again and buried her face in her arms to cry even more.

Hell, why is she so terrified?

The tall blonde turned her car around and drove as fast as she could through the inner city of Crystal Tokyo. She didn't know why she did that. She hated Sejya. But she loved her daughter. And she would have done everything just to take away Hotaru's fears. Whatever frightened her that much.

The radio kept off and ten minutes later they arrived at the skyscraper Sejya lived in since princess Kakyuu and the others left the earth to return to their home planet. It was a small apartment Haruka only knew from some photos. But she knew that she would get to know it today. She parked the car and looked shortly at her still crying daughter.

What if this all isn't just a girl's fantasy?

Haruka gulped hard and stroke calming over dark hairs.

"I am right back, Himme-chan. Don't move. I am just fetching uncle Sejya and then you'll see that everything is alright, okay?"

"Okay." Whispered Hotaru and sobbed quietly. She heard how her daddy left the car. How she went over to the lift and cursed because it took too long. She heard how her daddy decided for the staircase instead and chased the steps with her long legs.

"Okay..."

Please, let it all be just a bad nightmares. Please, let him be healthy. Please...

She sobbed even harder and remembered all those times the young man with that always so sad look in his blue eyes had been so friendly to her. How he played with her and her card game. She knew him since she could remember and her mommy sometimes told her the story that happened during her second year. That the Three Lights came to earth to fight with them against Galactica. Hotaru had been too tiny. She spent almost all of that time with her granny. With her daddy's mommy she loved very much.

Please, let it all be just a bad illusion of the sunlight.

Please...

That moment she heard the shot. It was near. Only one or two floors above. Just where her uncle lived...

Hotaru raised her head and still were tears streaming over her cheeks. But she couldn't hear anything. Not a second shot, not even a scream. Nothing.

I hate that silence.

She gulped hard and slowly left the car. She didn't dare to lock it. All she cared about were the ones she loved. Slowly she walked into the lift and pushed the bottoms her auntie Usagi once showed her. When she and Chibiusa had visit uncle Sejya shortly before auntie Kakyuu went away.

"You baka!" the silence was interrupted by her daddy's low voice. A suddenly very shaky voice. It wasn't as angry as it always was when Haruka argued with Sejya. This time it was more silent. And softer.

"What the hell did you think you're doing? Can you explain that to me, you total jerk!"

Hotaru stepped out of the lift and went over to the apartment. The door was opened and she could see her daddy walking excited through the room behind. Sejya was there, too. Hotaru almost screamed out loud as she saw that he was alive. That he breathed. That he didn't go with the shadow of her nightmares. As she just had feared. He sat on the living room couch and looked with empty eyes at the wall opposite. A gun laid on the ground. It steamed. There was a whole in that wall, too. Right next to a picture of the Three Lights.

"Did you think that would solve ANY of your problems?" Haruka's eyes sparkled and she came again nearer to the couch and grabbed his collar. To force him to look straight into her pale face. "Did you think of shooting yourself you would make it any better?"

Sejya blinked and gulped. And blinked again.

"Then it all would be over." He whispered with such a silent voice Hotaru had never heard from him. "Then I wouldn't be so damn alone any longer."

Haruka made an angry face and slapped him right into the face. Before she grabbed his collar again and looked right into his tired eyes.

"Don't you dare to say such a nonsense. Usagi needs you. Just like the rest of the team. Just like Kakyuu! Don't you think your brothers would be very sad if they'd return and find you dead?"

"They won't return..." Suddenly tears filled Sejya's eyes and he shook his head. "They simply went away and left me here all alone. I have no one left. So why shall I go on living?" Soon those tears wetted pale cheeks and Sejya started helpless to sob. Haruka glanced at him for some seconds and took a deep breath.

"Are you really so stupid not to see that you still have us? Your friends?" she snapped but her look was suddenly very soft. Hotaru had seen that look before. When once Ami broke down sobbing. She had been almost as big as her daddy was right now with her sis and the water senshi started to tremble and to sob. There had been that look on Haruka's face, too. As Michiru simply rose from the couch and embraced Ami and comforted her the whole evening.

"Friends? Usagi has her family just like Ami and the others. And you hate me, too."

Haruka chewed on her lower lip and saw more and more tears running down pale cheeks. The young man trembled and sobbed quietly.

"Of course I hate you." She answered and sighed again deeply. "But that's no reason for you being such a baka!" Haruka mumbled and let go of his collar. Instead she sat down on the couch next to him and watched him in silence. "And Kakyuu will return one day. Don't worry, she loves you, baka. She won't forget you." Her words were very silent. But for Sejya they seemed to be loud enough to understand. Because he cried even harder and suddenly he embraced Haruka and searched for comfort and a little bit hope. Haruka hesitated for some seconds and remembered again how she kicked the door open and could take the gun away in the last second. Sejya had been really determined to kill himself and only because of her fast reaction he shot into the old wall and not into his stubborn head.

"Baka." She sighed again and embraced him in return. To gave him the comfort he needed right now. And the knowledge that he wasn't alone. His loud sobs filled the air and it seemed as if his heart would break. She had never seen him this way and somehow she knew that they had to use their powers to call for Kakyuu. And to ask her if she really wanted to stay on that far away home planet. This planet, the earth, could get her home, too. If she wanted. "Baka!"

Haruka rocked Sejya and raised her head as she heard a noise from the door. Shortly she exchanged glances with her daughter. Then Hotaru nodded and started to smile.

"I am faster!"

Hotaru heard the laughter in her best friend's voice and saw how pink hairs overtook her. She giggled as Chibiusa kicked her mountain bike harder and was able to take the leadership.

"I'll be the winner."

It was early summer and they decided to make a tour along the beach. Of course there was again a competition and of course the loser had to pay the next ice cream in Crystal Tokyo. Of course Chibiusa always wasted her pocket money. And of course she wanted to win.

"Taru is lazy, lazy, lazy..." laughed the pink haired girl and the plaid she braid her hairs together jumped on her back while she tortured her mountain bike more and more.

They raced along the road. A bending road they both knew and they both loved. Because they were always on the main road and didn't have to take care for other cars.

Maybe we'll make a picnic afterwards on the beach.

Hotaru who knew that she would be the one paying for the ice creams turned her head and looked over to the beach. The sun stood high in a cloudless sky and she smiled as she smelled and tasted the salty sea water. Her mommy had prepared something to eat for them and now Hotaru carried it in her back bag.

Hope they'll have a nice day, too.

Normally Haruka would have had a race to drive but she simply cancelled it. Since her daughter was born the past year she wanted to be at home. She wanted to be together with her family. And so she only took part in some races if she wanted to. They had enough money, she didn't depend on that job. Just time by time she had to get wild again. Just to return afterwards and to take care for her family.

Miyuki...

Hotaru grinned and love sparkled in her dark eyes as she remembered her little sister. She wasn't a year old yet and she was so tiny. With blonde hairs and blue eyes. One day she would be a real daredevil and she had the same talent her bigger sister had: One look was enough and her parents would have done everything for her.

I love you, Yuki-chan.

Hotaru turned away from the water and smiled as she saw how Chibiusa fought hard with her bike as they climbed up a small hill. Hotaru got slower, too and her grin grew wider as she heart the princess's not so nice words about the landscape. Until the hill was done and they simply could roll down to the small valley – until they had to climb another hill.

"Yeah! That's great!" Chibiusa spread her arms and her shirt flew around her body like wings. She let go of the handlebars and laughed happily.

I love you, too, little darling.

Hotaru sighed slightly and leaned a little bit back. She knew that she was faster then her best friend but she didn't want to disappoint her. It was a lot more fun to see Chibiusa happy because she won than to win oneself. Hotaru only once won and it wasn't nearly as fun as watching Chibiusa jumping around the whole beach screaming out loud that she was unbeatable.

"Chibiusa, look out, there's a crossroad." She shouted against the wind and hated the strange feeling that grew inside her belly. A well known feeling. A feeling that was mostly wrong.. but only mostly.

"That's the main road. They all have to wait for us." Laughed Chibiusa back. "After all, you only want to win, Taru."

Taru.

She loved that nickname. But nevertheless she got more and more concerned. Hotaru gulped hard and reached inside her pocket. To get the little mirror out she always carried with her. She hated it the most in her life but the same time she knew that she had no chance than having it always with her. Just in case. She didn't know how it worked, but more than once it saved the life of the people being around her.

Is it a blessing or a curse?

Still she couldn't define. Still she couldn't count. Really count. As long as no one died or was dangerously injured. As long as it still could be the nightmares of a little girl.

One look into the mirror let her froze on her bike. She almost missed the bent and it took her some seconds to realize that she still sat on a moving vehicle.

"Little darling!" she screamed and put the hated mirror away again. She had seen what she needed to see: A well known shadow embracing another person who meant a lot in her young life. Taking that person away. Away from her. Destroying the person's life – and her own one as well.

"Little darling!"

Chibiusa only laughed and speeded even more.

"Hey, I wanna win. " she giggled and drove towards the empty crossroad. "And you won't hinder me, Taru."

"Chibiusa!" yelled Hotaru and speeded now again up. Regretting that she left her best friend so much space. It would take her a long time to reach her – especially when they were driving toward the small valley between the hills. Towards the crossroad beneath.

"Chibiusa!" suddenly tears streamed over her face and she started to tremble. But nevertheless she gave all her body had and reached Chibiusa who didn't understand what was happening. She only saw the ice cream in her mind and wanted to win.

"Little...!" Hotaru didn't think any longer and simply jumped. Ten yards before the crossroad. She only jumped and grabbed for her best friend. Chibiusa screamed out loud as they both landed on the hot and very hard asphalt. Chibiusa's bike fell down with them while Hotaru's continued its way towards the crossroad. Chibiusa blushed and wanted to scream something as she heard the loud honk. The next moment a big truck crossed the street, the main street. Hotaru's bike was buried under his big wheels and the driver didn't even seem to notice it. He took the right of way and disappeared into nowhere.

"Nani?" panted Chibiusa. Too shocked to feel how much her right knee hurt. Too shocked to feel the blood pouring down her left arm. Too shocked to feel her own tears streaming down her cheeks.

"That could have been... "she didn't dare to say it aloud. She only turned her head and looked at Hotaru who laid next to her. Holding her tight into her arms. Burying her face into her shoulder and crying desperately.

Hating herself for the shadow she always saw in the mirror.

She stood in her room.

It wasn't dark. Bright sunlight shone through the opened windows and light wind played with her shoulder long hairs.

It wasn't cold. She sweat under her light shirt she wore over her cut jeans. It was the hottest summer Japan ever experienced and she wished herself a big ice tea.

It wasn't silent. She could hear her sister laughing outside the house. In the garden near the beach. Surely she was haunted again by her daddy while her mommy swam in the big swimming pool and splashed them both with water.

She stood in her room. Right before the big mirror she mostly covered with a dark towel. But today she simply had to look into it. The pain started about an hour again and first she didn't wasted many thoughts of it. But it got stronger and it got harder and harder for her to breath.

The room was very bright. There were hardly any shadows. But nevertheless she knew that she wasn't alone. She felt again the cold breeze going over her skin. Over her goose flesh. Her dark eyes were very serious as she watched how the shadow rose and came nearer. For the first time she could see the strange uniform. The smile on a pale face. But still she saw no eyes. Still she couldn't define if that shadow was male or female. But she knew that it was evil. And that she was evil, too. Because she could see it.

Who is it today?

She wanted to scream it out loud but she didn't have the power any longer. She groaned and crossed her arms before her hurting chest.

Whom do I have to save today?

She whimpered as the whole world started to spin around herself.

Whom might I lose this time?

Hotaru's eyes grew wide as she saw how the shadow embraced her and held her tight. Covered her with its darkness.

Me?

She wanted to laugh. Hysterically. But she was too tired. So tired... She held her aching chest harder and whimpered even louder. Then she felt those cold arms being wrapped around her body. Felt the icy fist being clenched around her heart.

Why me?

She stumbled and the mirror crashed the floor. It cracked and splinters covered her carpet. Hotaru only went on her knees and started silently to sob.

Why me?

Then her whole world got black. The last thing she realized was an opening door. And an excited voice calling her name. A so soft, a so tender voice she suddenly believed not to deserve. Not any longer.

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	2. Chapter 1: Just a normal girl

**Chapter one: Just a normal girl...**

The sun shone from an endless sky. It was incredible hot. Not even the slightest wind puff could be felt. Nevertheless the park was crowded. Many peoples went in the shadows the huge trees spent. They talked and laughed and chatted, didn't even hear the singing of the birds any longer. Gossip was what brought them out of their houses. Gossip, the heath of the summer and the hope to have a little bit fun this afternoon. To go out with their families or their friends. To forget for a little while the stress they normally had at school, at work or at home.

Normally the park was quiet at this time. Most people who came here came in the early morning hours or in the evening – before or after work. Only retired people could spend the whole day near the coast. Feeding the birds, talking to their grandchildren, watching them play, singing a little song for them. But today it was different. Today a big funfair took place here. Here at the outer district of Crystal Tokyo. Little children rode on dozen of roundabouts. On wooden horses. On wooden cars. On wooden bikes. Delicious meals were served all over the place just as nice, cold drinks. Some people tried their luck to get a fish out of the small swimming pools. But most of them failed and the fish jumped happily back from their broken spoons into the shimmering water again. A lot of people wore their traditional clothes: Kimonos and looked really beautiful. More than one family father used the chance to take thousands of photos of his beloved wife and his cute children.

The greatest event of the whole funfair was a big dipper. A really, really big one. You had to squint against the sun to see its top. People screamed out loud when the array of red cars seemed to crash down from the top to the ground – just to be stopped in an arrow bend. There was a long queue in front of the counters and people chatted excitedly while they looked more than once a little bit scared up to the huge dipper.

"Are you really sure that you want to drive it?"

Two girls were standing near the counter. They waited now for almost an hour. A lot of time to listen to the other people's screams. And a lot of time to think of their own destiny in those cars.

"Of course!"

The smaller girl turned to her friend and grinned happily. A white balloon floated over their heads. It looked like a bunny holding some red hearts in its paws. The balloon looked really like kitsch. It hobbled up and down while the girl moved, because it was tied to her right hand.

"Or are you afraid, Taru?" The grin grew wider and two pink plaids flew through the air as the younger girl laughed. "Is my sweet Taru a little coward?"

"Coward?" The taller girl turned around and started to tickle her best friend. Dark eyes sparkled and dark, shoulder long hairs fell into a blushed face as they both danced out of the queue. The smaller girl squeaked and tried to escape. But her best friend was faster.

"Mercy!" she gasped and the string of the balloon was now twisted tightly around her wrist. The balloon danced even crazier in the air and both girls burst out into laughter as some other people stared idly at them.

"Will you behave yourself? You know, I promised your mother to take care for you, little darling." Smirked the taller girl and they both returned into the queue again. They didn't want to lose their positions they fought for during the past hour.

"Tenô Hotaru!" shouted the pink haired girl and tried hard to look shocked. "I am fifteen now. I am old enough to take care for myself!"

Hotaru only chuckled and raised her head again to look for the umpteenth time up to the big dipper. She gulped as the red cars crashed down again and people started again terrified to scream. Then she turned around and saw that Chibiusa looked at the car with the same mixed feelings. She winced slightly as the screaming started again.

"Sure?" whispered Hotaru but her best friend didn't hear her.

Today was Chibiusa's fifteenth birthday and they all decided to celebrate it first at the funfair and later on in the Crystal Palace. Just with her friends and her family. Before the official celebrating would begin tomorrow. An endless celebrating Chibiusa wasn't very keen on. She had to wear her best clothes, a long, white dress she hated the most, and she had to sit down and be quiet the whole time. While different important people would say important speeches she didn't want to hear. And she would get boring presents. Another dress. Or a huge puppet. Although she wasn't a little child any longer. Or - the worst - a diary. Hotaru knew Chibiusa's curious mother and knew that it was senseless to write a diary. And that this wasn't her best friend's style. Whenever Chibiusa had problems or there was something that made her think a lot about she had to talk about. She couldn't keep silent and hide it in a diary. That was simply not her style.

Hope she'll like my present.

Hotaru clenched her hands around her back bag and watched how Chibiusa raised automatically her left hand to stroke some strands behind her ears that escaped her plaids. Braided plaids that laid now over her shoulders and partly covered the picture on her t-shirt. A white t-shirt with a cute horse on top of it. No, not a normal horse, but a Pegasus. A horse with huge wings and a golden horn on its head. Hotaru frowned but didn't want to think of its meaning.

Helios.

She didn't know why but she didn't like that guy. And she didn't like to be remembered that he once had transformed into such a Pegasus and was for a short time Chibiusa's best friend. He and not Hotaru who had been too small that time to remember. But she heard what her parents told about that boy. And the queen, of course.

A slight breeze went through Chibiusa's yellow skirt but she didn't notice it. She was too occupied with all the screaming people up in the small cars.

Little darling.

Hotaru was happy that Chibiusa wanted to go to the funfair - with her. Of course all the others were in the park, too, but every roundabout they had to drive they drove together. The taller girl sighed slightly. She didn't have many friends. Not as many as Chibiusa and she was happy over every minute she could spend with the princess of Crystal Tokyo.

The big dipper stopped and they went nearer to the counter. The next turn and they would be allowed to get into those little cars and up over the park. To scream, too. And hopefully to have a lot of fun.

Hotaru looked around and grinned as she saw a familiar shadow within the mass. A little girl of six years sat on her daddy's shoulders. Her blonde hairs touched her back and her blue eyes shone happily. She had a huge ice cream in her left hand and waved excitedly with her right one at her. Hotaru's smile grew wider and she winked her sister back. Her daddy didn't notice it. She talked to Hotaru's mommy and they both smiled tenderly at each other. Another person with long blonde hairs followed them and talked without any interruption. About twenty feet behind walked a beautiful woman with blue hairs. She held a book in her hands and nodded while her daughter waved her own ice cream and laughed.

My family.

Hotaru sighed slightly.

I love them.

"It's our turn." Whispered Chibiusa and looked suddenly very pale. Hotaru blinked and before she could reply anything she felt how Chibiusa took her hand and they went over to the little cars. The princess's hand was suddenly cold and Chibiusa looked very nervous as she tied her balloon to the handrail to get it back after their ride.

"Everything okay?" asked Hotaru as she climbed next to her best friend on the seat. It was strangely soft and Hotaru gulped as they took on their seatbelts.

"Sure." Answered Chibiusa with a very quiet voice and gulped, too. "I am grown up now. I am fifteen and I am able to drive with that big dipper at last." She said and gulped again. "I am not a little child any longer."

"I know, little darling. You don't have to prove it."

"Not?" Chibiusa turned her head and there was panic in her pink eyes. "Then let's get out!" suddenly she was very busy to unfast her seatbelt. But it couldn't be removed any longer, the big dipper started again. The cars moved and they drove slowly, very slowly upwards.

"Too late." Hotaru took a deep breath and turned her head to see how the queue and all the other people got tinier and tinier.

"I wanna go out..." suddenly Chibiusa wasn't any brave any longer. Suddenly she didn't look like the cheeky hero any longer she had been during the past hour. "I wanna..." she sobbed and looked suddenly again like a small child. Hotaru turned towards her and smiled understanding. She was a little bit pale, too.

"I wanna..."

"Hey, little darling, it'll be fun. Believe me." She whispered and carefully laid her hand over Chibiusa's. The next moment the princess grabbed for it and held it determinedly tight.

"I am fifteen and I am old enough. I am fifteen and I am old enough. I am fifteen and..." started Chibiusa suddenly to talk. Over and over again. Hotaru only grinned and squeezed the hand softly. At that moment they reached the highest point and the cars got faster and faster until they started to fall.

"... am fifteen and I am ooooooooolllllldddddddddddddd..." Chibiusa's scream could be heard all over the park. But it wasn't louder than the screams of the people sitting behind them. Hotaru took another deep breath as the ground came nearer and nearer. Quicker and quicker. But not because of the high speed. Not because of her own fears. And surely not because of the seatbelt tightened around her body. She gasped for breath as Chibiusa wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her very hard. As if she wanted to strangulate her. Still the princess screamed but got quieter as the cars slowed down a little bit. Until she saw the looping.

"Taruuuuuuuuu!" Chibiusa held her tighter as the cars made their way, now faster again, up again and soon they stood on their heads and the whole world swirled around. Hotaru didn't scream. She didn't make any other sound. She only embraced her little darling, too and smiled. Suddenly she wished that this drive would never end. Although Chibiusa would have surely disagreed.

"Wanna oooouuuuuutttt!" Another looping and again the whole world turned upside down. Hotaru froze as she felt the strange feeling again. She turned her head and the whole world seemed to have stopped. Chibiusa still screamed and Hotaru could still hear the other people shouting. She could still feel the cars moving. But it all was unreal with a sudden. Hotaru turned her head and saw a familiar shadow standing next to great dipper. Right beside the balloon still floating in the air.

Nani?

Hotaru frowned but the next moment the shadow was gone and the cold disappeared from her body.

What does that mean?

Suddenly the tall girl was shaking and felt very, very sick. It was seldom that she saw this shadow and mostly nasty things happened afterwards. Sometimes she was able to prevent them. But only sometimes.

"Thanks goddess, it stopped!" Chibiusa freed herself out of Hotaru's embracement and stumbled out of the car. She almost kneeled down and kissed the earth. But a slight groaning held her back. Let her remember that she wasn't all alone at the funfair. She turned around and saw Hotaru still sitting in the car. She looked very, very pale and trembled. She had wrapped her arms around her own waist and stared with a terrified look in her eyes at her own feet.

"Taru?" Chibiusa was by her side the next moment and shook her. "Taru?" Her best friend blinked and raised her head. Chibiusa gulped as she saw tears shinning in dark eyes. "Taru? Everything okay?" she asked and helped her out. Hotaru looked scared around but calmed herself down as she saw that the shadow disappeared between the people, or even better, into nothing again.

Nothing will happen. It was alone this time.

Hotaru still shivered and didn't realize that a warm hand took her cold one and that she was guided away from the big dipper.

There were no persons next to it. No one I knew. No one at all.

Hotaru took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Taru?" the high voice brought her back from her dark thoughts. "Taru, I am so sorry. It's all my fault. Gomen, Taru, I shouldn't have taken you on the big dipper. I knew that you was afraid and... to be honest... I was afraid, too. It was foolish and..." Hotaru raised her head and saw tears sparkling in pink eyes. Chibiusa looked really desperate and the balloon over her head seemed to float quieter and slower than normal. It seemed to look very sad, too.

"... it's all my fault and I shouldn't have..."

"Hush, little darling." Hotaru managed to smile although she felt really miserable. After all this was her best friend's birthday and they wanted to celebrate it today. This was not a day of moaning. It wasn't a day of being sad and thinking of the unsteady future and that someone might die. Of the strange shadow she always saw whenever something really bad was going to happen.

"But I am old enough to think and..." sobbed Chibiusa and Hotaru squeezed the little hand that still laid trustfully in her icy one.

"Do you want an ice cream?"

Chibiusa looked up and her whole face brightened up. She wiped away her tears and nodded. Again happy.

dbdbdb

"Why don't I get my present today?" Chibiusa looked up to the dark sky, holding a huge teddy bear tight in her arms. She had seen it some hours ago and it took Hotaru all her skills of throwing the balls against heavy tins to win it. The princess had been out of her mind because of joy and carried the teddy bear now proudly around.

"I already got my presents from my parents this morning and when I look at the bags your daddy has in her Ferrari I am sure that they'll have something for me, too." Chibiusa's smile froze in astonishment as the firework exploded in the dark sky. It was almost midnight and they all stayed at the funfair to see the firework. Hotaru looked around and saw her parents standing near. Miyuki, her little sister, slept deep and tight on her daddy's back. She was simply too young to stay up so long. Her mother stepped nearer and kissed her wife tenderly. Hotaru smiled loving. Then she glanced over at another sleepy girl. Mayumi yawned deeply and held her mother's hand. It was too dark to read, so doctor Ami didn't read any longer. She looked with the same astonished expression on her face up to the endless sky. She surely knew everything about fireworks. What they were made of. How they worked. That this wasn't a miracle. But nevertheless she let herself being taken away by the magic of this moment. Mayumi raised her other hand and grabbed for the sleeve of a long, glittering dress. The famous singer Minako looked shortly down and smiled loving down at her best friend's daughter before she took the tiny hand into her own one, too.

My family.

Hotaru heard tender giggle and looked into the other direction. Between all those people stood the king and the queen of Crystal Tokyo. Like two shinning stars in the darkness. Their people adored them and although they wanted to be treated just like normal people when they were outside the palace they automatically got a better place to watch the firework. People greeted them and more than once queen Usagi got a present from a happy smiling woman or a cute little child. Her husband had wrapped her arms around her and whispered into her ear. She giggled and messed his hairs before they watched the firework, too.

I love them.

Hotaru looked again around but she couldn't see the others. They weren't gone yet. But there were so many people in the park that the tall girl missed them.

"I mean... did you forget my birthday? I would understand that..." said Chibiusa still staring at the red and silver rockets exploding and forming sparkling flowers.

I'd never forget your birthday, little darling.

"No." Laughed Hotaru and stepped a little bit nearer. It got colder after sundown and the grass beneath her feet was now wet. Hotaru could feel Chibiusa's warm body right next to her own one. "I want to celebrate your birthday at home. Next weekend. Maybe you can ask you parents if you could stay..."

Chibiusa turned around for a brief moment and grinned. Then she nodded understanding.

"Of course they'll allow it. As long as they'll never find out that you own the biggest horror video collection one could ever imagine." She giggled and squeezed the teddy again. "That'll be great." Suddenly Chibiusa was excited and could hardly wait until the next weekend. She loved it to stay for a night at her best friend's house. It was always so lively there. Most of her aunts were there. Almost all the time. Hotaru's parents once told them whenever they had a problem or simply needed a place to go they could come to them. So Minako who already recorded a CD with Haruka and Michiru and even with Sejya was there whenever she wasn't on tour. And of course Mayumi spent almost all her time there. Whenever her mother was in the hospital and Minako not around. She was Hotaru's sister's best friend and they both behaved like sisters. Chibiusa grinned as she remembered how Sejya was there the last time, too. And how Haruka and he argued again. It had been funny because they never really argued with each other. They didn't hurt each other, just teased each other around. Until a giggling Michiru told them to be quiet and to take care for the children.

It's more lively there as in the palace.

Of course the Crystal palace was a loud place, too. With Usagi being the queen it couldn't be quiet. But there was the etiquette and a lot of people Chibiusa hardly knew or didn't want to know. Some political people. Important but boring. Her aunts were there, too, but it was simply another feeling being at Hotaru's house. There was no one who said what to do. How to do it. How to sit. How to eat. How to breath. That was why Chibiusa's parents often flew from the Crystal palace, too and then Haruka declared giggling that she was happy that they had such a big house.

"Will I get my present then?" asked Chibiusa innocently and her eyes grew wide as sparkling light fell down like a waterfall. It simply looked beautiful and she let out a small sigh as another rocket exploded. It looked for some seconds like a huge swan. In a lake. The princess shivered slightly and held her teddy automatically tighter.

"Guess." Hotaru's voice was low and a little bit shaky. "But only if you had enough time to unwrap all those presents you got from your parents and the rest of Japan."

Hope you'll like it.

Hotaru took a deep breath and stepped even closer to her trembling princess. Chibiusa only wore her t-shirt and the skirt. But she had no pullover. Not even sockets. It was midnight and although it was a hot summer the air was colder now.

Her present wasn't as big as the other she got today. It fitted into a very small box and Hotaru was still unsure if it was the right decision. If she shouldn't buy a CD or a book Chibiusa wanted and forget about the little box.

I have it for over four years now.

Hotaru sighed again and forced herself to look from her best friend's back up to the sparkling sky. More and more flowers exploded and the people gasped for breath as they formed now a grown. And a moon. To symbolise the kingdom of Japan. The Crystal kingdom. And its rulers.

I should tell her. I should simply tell her how I feel.

Hotaru gulped and saw now a big bird on the sky. It looked like an eagle. With strong wings. Simply flying through the air.

She's now fifteen. She will understand.

Although Hotaru had little hope that Chibiusa would return her feelings.

Or shall I wait for another year?

She sighed again and winced as a warm body was suddenly leant against her own one. Slowly she lowered her head and looked into sparkling pink eyes. They were now deeper in the night. And darker.

"That's a great firework, Taru." Whispered Chibiusa and watched again the exploding sky. Hotaru wrapped her arms around her best friend and felt the fur of the teddy bear. She smiled and simply leaned her head against Chibiusa's to see a huge rose made out of thousands of red rockets floating over their heads. There were more "ahs" and "ohs" in the mass. Hotaru smiled and closed her eyes as she felt Chibiusa's warm hands on her own ones.

"Hai, it's great, little darling." Whispered the tall girl and enjoyed every second. Wanting desperately to stop time. To stand here forever. With her best friend. With her little darling. With the princess of Crystal Tokyo who meant everything to her.

I want so badly to tell you that I love you, little darling.

"Hai, it is."

dbdbdb

"... and so the hero took the sword and..."

Hotaru browsed in her book and looked bored at the ancient pictures in it. Japanese history. With Tamamodo-sama. It was incredible that someone could take something that happened a long time ago to a single person so seriously. Hotaru lowered her head and looked silently around. Her classmates seemed to be as bored as she was and more than one pair of eyes watched desperately at their watches. Counting the minutes that remained until school would finish today. Again the sun was shinning and it promised to be another hot day. Hotaru turned another page and smiled. She didn't see the old samurai standing on a hill, a sword in his hands. She saw her best friend who agreed this morning laughing to go with her to the beach. Hotaru loved the water and the endless sea. And there was nothing nicer in her life than being at the beach, walking along the sand, feeling the warm water on her feet - together with an always talking Chibiusa by her side.

"... and then the old man turned around and said to..."

No one really listened. Normally Hotaru was more active in their lessons. Normally she listened. But normally they had better teachers and a more interesting subjects.

Something hit her head and crumbled paper fell in her book. Hotaru heard the laughter but didn't turn around to look who threw the paper. It was obviously that it had been Akane who sat at the wall. Hotaru herself sat near the opened window and enjoyed the breeze playing with her black hairs. Mostly she wore dark clothes because she liked them best. But today she only sweated and wanted to get into the pleasant water of the ocean.

Hotaru opened the crumbled paper and her face was emotionless as she threw it to the ground. She was sure that it had been Akane. A cute girl with red hairs who didn't like her. Since the first day they went to school Akane hated her. For something Hotaru couldn't remember to have done.

Witch.

Only one single word was written with a neat writing on the blank paper. Hotaru sighed slightly and turned another paper around. She didn't understand why some girls of her class hated her that much. More than once they had tried to attack her. With mug. With dirt. Even with stones. They argued with her and let no chance out to humiliate her - in front of the teacher if they could.

Witch.

Hotaru turned another page without really looking at her book any longer. She was calmer than all the other girls. She liked dark, inconspicuous clothes. She was intelligent and one of the class's best pupils. She liked it to read books and to listen to music. And she never talked about cute boys. Hotaru knew that she was different. She saw things her classmates would never see. Shadows walking around. She could do things other couldn't. Once, it had been in her first year at school, another girl fell from a tree and injured her leg. It bleed a lot and the girl cried. Hotaru who had thought that this power was normal, went over to the crying girl and laid her hands on her knee. The pain went away. Just like the wound. But what remained was the hate in the girl's eyes. The lack of trust. And the fear. Since that day Akane fell off the tree she was Hotaru's worst enemy. She often called her witch and tried to hurt her. There were some other people around Akane who hated Hotaru, too.

"You're just a bloody..." whispered Akane so loud that everyone could hear it. Only the teacher seemed to be deaf. She kept reading and reading and didn't look away from the book she was holding.

"Oh, shut up, Akane and read!" snapped another girl who sat right behind Hotaru and looked again at her watch. Akane went red but kept silent. Hotaru only smiled a little bit and turned another page in boredom.

The red haired girl hated her. Just like the club around her. But there were some other people in class left who had a little bit more intelligence. They didn't talk very much to her and surely they weren't people Hotaru would call good friends, but they accepted her the way she was and left her in peace. She had no problem to find a partner for a physical test among them and when they had to do a dialogue in English two or three girls always wanted to be her partner because she could speak the foreign language very well.

No wonder, I visited so many other countries to together with mommy and daddy...

Hotaru put her book away and took a pencil to play with it. She turned her head and looked out of the window. Soft wind played with the leaves of the trees and thin clouds floated over the blue sky.

I don't need them. I don't need friends. As long as I have my little darling.

She smiled and winced madly as someone tipped her shoulder. She spun around and stared confused at the teacher who looked strict at her.

"Tenô-san, I just asked you what the hero did then." Her eyes sparkled and the book trembled in her hands as she walked towards Hotaru who started to sweat. She didn't listen the whole hour and didn't even have the slightest idea which hero her teacher was talking about.

"Well..." said Hotaru and Akane's ugly laughter filled the classroom for some seconds. "Guess you don't even know it." She shouted and pointed at Hotaru who looked angrily back.

"Do you know it, Tsuraga-san?" Now the teacher turned towards Akane who got very pale with a sudden and looked the same helpless.

At that moment the school clock started to ring and rescued them all.

"And don't forget to read chapter six and seven until the next lesson." Shouted the teacher while people hurried out of the room. It had been their last lesson and they all had other things in mind than reading a stupid book over the past. Written by an even stupider author.

Hotaru put her things carefully into her bag and glanced for some seconds at her apple. Before she cleaned it on the sleeve of her uniform. She saw at the rims of her eyes that Akane passed by. She heard how she growled a hateful "witch" but she pretended not to hear it.

Quickly the room emptied and slowly Hotaru left it, too. She bit into her apple and pulled one letter out of her skirt pockets. It was slightly crumbled. There were three letters she had discovered this morning in the mailbox before she got to school. Three letters that could decide over her destiny. She was very good at school. The best of her class. Maybe the best pupil at the whole school. At least in the subjects that were interesting for her: Such as languages, maths, physics and biology. She used to do a lot of sports, too, but now she wasn't allowed to take part at that lesson any longer.

Tokyo.

Because she was so good at biology her headmaster had asked her if she didn't want to send an application for a school year at another school. At a school preparing very good pupils for university. To become a very good student. And - as in Hotaru's case - to become a very good doctor. Just like aunt Ami already was. That was Hotaru's dream after all her hopes being the champion in racing a car or jumping into the water died away two years ago.

Kyoto.

Hotaru was now sixteen and a half year old. One year at that special school and one year back at her normal school to finish it and she would go to a real university. First she hadn't been sure if she should really ask for a place there. They only took really good pupils and it was very hard to learn there. Her daddy only asked her if she wanted it. If she really wanted to go to such a school. Haruka didn't doubt that they would take her daughter. She told Hotaru that she could go to such a school if she really wanted it. She shouldn't think about the high school money they would have to pay for her visit there. They could afford it.

America.

Hotaru wrote to three private schools. Her teacher gave her the addresses. One was in the centre of Crystal Tokyo, another one in Kyoto. That was a little bit away from her home but it was still in Japan. The last school was far away. Over the ocean. In another land. On another continent. America. She didn't know why she wrote them, too. Maybe because she had doubted that anyone would take her. That she was still too bad for a private school. But as she ripped them open while she waited the first lesson to begin she had to see that they all wanted her. That she was accepted. In Tokyo as in Kyoto as in America. They congratulated her to her good choice and that they needed the answer within the next week because the new school year would start the next months. That would mean less vacations for Hotaru but she knew that it would be worth it.

Now I only have to decide for which one.

She would talk to her parents but she already knew that she would stay in Tokyo. With her family and with her friends. With her best friend.

"Taru!"

Hotaru smiled and put the envelope away. She turned around and looked into a redden face. The princess panted and held her heavy school bag in her hands. She didn't have that many books for school in it, but a lot of mangas and other stuff she thought she needed at school - especially in the breaks.

"Taru..." she gasped and stopped next to her.

Normally Chibiusa as the princess of Crystal Tokyo would get her own private lessons at home. At the Crystal palace. From private teachers. But her parents decided against. They both remembered their youth and how funny school had been. Especially Usagi remembered her school time - together with Rei, Minako, Ami and Makoto. She didn't want that her daughter missed that time and so they sent her to a public school.

"Gomen that I am late, but I couldn't find my pencil..." panted Chibiusa and shortly winked at some girls who were at the other side of the school yard. They winked back, happily smiling and finally left the school. "... and then my rubber..."

Chibiusa found easily friends. She was outgoing and even if she did something wrong no one could be angry with her. And she was the princess of Crystal Tokyo. No one would argue with her. Sometimes Chibiusa was sad about that fact. That some people were only kind to her because she was the princess, the future ruler of Crystal Japan. But whenever she saw her best friend she knew that there were also people who liked her for what she really was. For her person, not for a title.

"... and I got a phone call from home..." again Chibiusa panted and calmed herself slowly down. She reached inside her bag and drank some gulps of her coke bottle. Hotaru only shook her head as Chibiusa offered her the drink. So Chibiusa only shrugged her shoulders and emptied the bottle. "There's something up at home and I should come right back after school. Gomen, Taru, I wanted to go swimming with you, really, but.. well.. you know... politics..." Chibiusa made a depressed face and her long pink hairs she had bound to one plaid jumped over her shoulders as she shook her head. "Surely I have to sit down and be quiet the whole afternoon inside the palace while an old, boring president of China or so who wants to talk to my parents..."

China has an emperor. For ten years now, little darling.

But Hotaru would have never corrected her best friend. She knew how little Chibiusa knew about politics and knew that her own mother, queen Usagi, knew even less. But she was always friendly to the great men and women around her table and while her husband solved problems with the lands Usagi solved trouble with the family or the friends of the important persons.

"Imagine, Taru... the sun is shinning and I have to sit inside that palace..." Chibiusa sighed deeply and looked now really sad. And a little bit angry. Then she shrugged her shoulders. "Guess I should hurry up. The taxi is surely waiting for me." Chibiusa took her bag and together they hurried towards the exit. "Do you wanna use the taxi, too? My parents pay it anyway."

"No, arigato, little darling." Smiled Hotaru and saw the taxi already standing there. Suddenly she felt disappointed. She had been happy and excited the whole morning to go swimming with Chibiusa. And now she would go home instead. Making her homework and trying to think again over the letters she received. Because going alone to the beach, that wasn't the same. It wasn't funny. She wanted her best friend being with her at the beach or she wouldn't go there at all.

"Gomen, Taru, but I have to go now." Shortly they squeezed their hands. Then Chibiusa ran towards the cab and jumped into it. With beating her head and cursing heavily. Hotaru giggled although she felt suddenly very alone. She waved her hand a little bit while the taxi drove away and disappeared behind the next bend.

"See ya later, little darling."

She turned around and walked slowly away. Automatically she reached inside her other pocket and put the headphones over her ears. Soon tender music filled her ears and she hummed silently to the melody in her mind. It was a violin accompanied by a piano. She knew the music. She had heard it all of her life. She grew up with it. Her parent's music.

Mommy. Daddy.

She looked into the shop windows without really seeing the shimmering products behind. She didn't see her own face reflected in the window's glass. She only saw her parents. Her secret heroes. Okay, there were times she wanted to shoot them up to the moon, too. But mostly she adored them. How they loved each other. How they were always so nice and kind to all those crazy aunts and uncles. How they cared for their children.

Hotaru gulped while she crossed the road together with a lot of other people.

She would never forget that day she found out that she was adopted. That her mother died during her birth and that her real father died because of an accident when she was still a baby. That Haruka and Michiru simply took her into her house and made it a home for her. That they adopted her and took care for her as if she was her real daughter.

My dear daddy...

Hotaru found out about it by chance. She discovered an old photo of a loving smiling man with white hairs. Who held a little child in his arms - Hotaru at the age of two months. On the backside was written with a strange writing Hotaru didn't now: My daughter, Tomoe Hotaru.

My dear mommy...

That had been the time when Michiru lost her child and the doctors declared her that she was too weak to carry a child. That her body simply refused it. At that moment Hotaru, who had silently asked herself why her mommy wasn't able to get children when she already got her, understood. She only looked at the picture and understood.

I love you.

Haruka didn't have to ask what happened as she saw the picture in Hotaru's lap when she returned that evening. Michiru had been on tour to recover from the loss of her child and by that time it had been Haruka who went more often to the hospital - in secret. She didn't want to concern her wife if the second attempt to get a child together would fail, too.

I love you so much.

Hotaru would never forget how her daddy took her in her arms that evening and comforted her. How she told her the story about her real father and why Michiru and she had decided to raise Hotaru. There had been a strange look in her daddy's eyes and for the first time Hotaru could remember she saw tears shinning in them. But the voice had been very clear as Haruka said determinedly that her Himme-chan would be her daughter forever. That it didn't matter to her if Michiru or she had given birth to her, but that she loved her the way only a daddy could love her. That this love would never change and that she belonged to the Tenô family. Not only by her adopted name.

Arigato.

Hotaru smiled and her fingers played with the string of her headphones. Her mommy told her the same when she came back some weeks later. And the longer Hotaru watched Minako playing loving and teasing with Mayumi she understood what her daddy had meant that evening. That blood didn't matter. That all that made a real family were feelings. Deep feelings. Love.

Witch! 

She heard the angry voice very quiet through her music and didn't turn around. She knew that Akane stood somewhere near. Maybe on the other side of the road. Surely she was shopping with her so called friends and discovered her while leaving one shop.

Whore! 

But she didn't let herself being provoked by them. Only once she lost her temper and almost broke Akane's right arm. She almost got expelled from school and her parents were very concerned. But they had been more concerned about her daughter than about Akane as the headmaster told Hotaru later. The old lady still smiled whenever she talked about how her daddy came into the room and declared the headmaster with a loud, raging voice that no one was allowed to call her daughter a witch. That it wasn't Hotaru's fault. That the other girl was too mean and simply too stupid. Her mommy had calmed her down with one look and a gentle touch. The headmaster laughed when she told Hotaru that it wasn't really her fault. That she simply inherited her daddy's hot temper.

Can't you hear me? 

No, she couldn't. She never wanted to hear Akane's high, squeaking voice again. Hardly anyone knew that her daddy was a woman. Just like her mommy. Hotaru knew what it meant. To be a lesbian. That a normal family looked more like Chibiusa's family: A real father, a mother and a child. But she loved her parents and it didn't matter to her whether they were two women or a man and a woman. The older she got the more she understood them. And she loved them. Deeply. Nothing could destroy that love to her parents. And the longer she lived together with Ami, Minako and Mayumi, the better she got to know uncle Sejya and the more she learned about her classmates' parents she knew that "normal" was just a small word that could fill millions of meanings.

But for Akane everything about her seemed to be not normal. Her healing powers, even if they were tiny. Her ignorance towards the cutest boys. Her good grates. Everything that seemed to be a little bit different from Akane's way of life was pervert for the red haired girl. And so was Hotaru. And almost half of the rest of the class.

Hey, you silly... 

Just once when there had been another season of the formula one Akane who disliked cars a lot since one killed her beloved cat, told Hotaru that her daddy was stupid. That driving around in a big car was stupid. That her daddy could kill an innocent pet, too. That her daddy was a murderer. First Hotaru tried to explain her that there were no animals on the race track. And that it was a sport and Akane didn't have to like it. But that a lot of people liked it. Just like foot ball. Or swimming. Or riding. But that moment Akane called Hotaru's beloved daddy a killer she simply snapped. Hotaru beat her and soon Akane sat there on the dirty ground and cried loudly that her nose was bleeding.

You... 

That had been now four years ago. When they both had been twelve. It had been the climax of their hate. They both got punished and after Hotaru spent some months in hospital two years ago she knew that she wouldn't triumph over the red haired girl again. That it was better to ignore her and to simply walk away. As she wanted to do this time.

I should make my homework and try to tidy up my room.

Although Chibiusa's room was the same chaos Hotaru didn't want her best friend to stumble over her dirty clothes when she would come this Friday to spend the night there. Watching horror movies and eating crisps. And giggling the whole evening.

Hopefully she'll be giggling.

Hotaru sighed deeply and doubted again if her plan was indeed so good. She stopped and now rock music filled her ears. A tender voice filled her ears, singing of a lost love. Of someone he loved and who simply walked away. It was uncle Sejya's voice. It was one of his greatest successes.

She likes this chocolate, too.

Hotaru put some strands of her black hairs behind her ears and looked through the shop window down at different kinds of chocolates. Being made in different forms and colours. They simply looked delicious and Hotaru who didn't have anything to eat but her apple for lunch felt how her stomach started to hurt.

How much money do I have...

Hotaru searched for her purse in her bag and counted the coins. Chibiusa was always bust. Whenever she got pocket money she spent it the next day. Or at least until the next weekend. It had been her luck that her mother paid the whole funfair, all those drives on the roundabouts and the big dipper, all those ice creams and chocolate and many tickets. Hotaru giggled at the memory how Chibiusa often stood in front of manga store and was very sad because she didn't have enough money for the newest manga or a cute figure of the newest top anime. Often Hotaru bought them secretly and to see Chibiusa's surprised face was it worth.

A satisfied smile appeared on Hotaru's face as she saw that the money in her little purse was enough to buy a very cute chocolate figure. The shouting outside her headphones died away, Akane seemed to be gone. Surly she got bored and went away.

Then let's buy...

Hotaru stopped at the moment as she felt the familiar cold she hated so much raising inside her body. A big lump suddenly laid in her stomach and she felt very ill. Cold sweat covered her pale face and slowly, very slowly she raised her head. And stared at the shadow who grinned at her in the window.

No...

Hotaru gasped hard for breath as she saw that the shadow wasn't alone this time. This time there were two persons next to it. It held their hands and nodded towards them. Understanding..

No...

Hotaru's eyes grew wide but she didn't recognize them. There were two persons standing next to the shadow Hotaru hated and feared the most in her life. A beautiful woman with long, bright blue hairs and a long, light blue dress. She looked not older than thirty five. The man next to her had laid his hands on her shoulders and looked loving down at her. His hairs were nearly white, but he wasn't a day older than she was. His dark eyes sparkled and they kissed. Not being aware of the shadow standing next to them.

"No!" screamed Hotaru and ripped the headphones from her head. She knocked at the window pane to get through. To save the strangers she had never seen before in her life. Two persons she knew would die within the next hours. Maybe even minutes? She didn't know. She didn't think. She only knocked at the glass. Tears streaming over her face. Her whole body trembled and she felt so sick that she wanted to throw up her breakfast.

"No..." she sobbed and shook her head fiercely. "Please..."

At that moment the door was pushed open and a thick man with pink red head stood right next to her.

"What do you do with my shop's window?" he asked with a dangerous quiet voice and looked very angry down at her.

Hotaru blinked and looked terrified at him. Feeling how much her hands hurt.

"Stay away from my window, girl. Do you have an idea how much that costs!" Now the man was shouting at her but she didn't hear him. She only shook her head again and looked back into the window. But all she could see was the chocolate lying there. There was no shadow any longer. No loving couple being unaware of their dark future.

"No..." gasped Hotaru but was pushed away by the man as she tried to touch the window again. He shouted again at her but still she didn't hear him.

I am too late.

She knew that there was no hope for the couple when the shadow was gone.

No...

Her crying increased and without looking at the fat man again she took her bag into her trembling hands and ran away. Simply ran away. Wishing to be as fast as she had been just two years ago. But even then she hadn't been able to escape the nightmares that were haunting her down - even at day.

No...

There had never been the slightest chance to escape the shadow. And this time, there wasn't even the slightest chance to help. That was even worse.

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It was almost dusk when she reached the light house by the sea. Her home. Since she could remember. A slight smile formed on her pale face and she stopped for a moment to watch it. It stood right at the beach, surrounded by a green oasis. Her mommy planted lots of trees and since her auntie Mako came to them time by time the flowers bloomed. Rare roses and other flowers in all colours Hotaru could imagine. In summer it was a real paradise and Hotaru knew why auntie Ami learned there for her exams. It was calm there and no one disturbed her thoughts. The road near the house was bending. Hardly a car passed by. They lived outside Crystal Tokyo. About ten miles away from the big city that couldn't be seen from here.

Hotaru listened for some seconds to the soft voice in her head, then she put her headphones away and held her bag tighter. It didn't matter to her to walk all this way. She knew she could have called a taxi, too. Her parents would have paid it. Especially after what happened just two years ago. Normally she took the bus and in the morning her daddy or someone else of her big, crazy family drove her to school. Hotaru loved the days she was woken up by an excited Chibiusa whose father would bring them to school. Although she liked it also a lot to race with her daddy and with her silver Ferrari along the road. As long as her mommy didn't to know it.

For another while Hotaru stood there and watched the sea. Saw the waves crashing at the sand. She loved the sea. Since her birth she had lived near the water and she couldn't imagine a day to live without it. Her mommy learned her to love the water and it became a part of her, too. Just like the wind playing with her shoulder long hairs. Hotaru automatically raised her hands and put the strands behind her ears. It took her some hours to walk from the city to her home and she had to think a lot during that time. Again and again she saw the couple before her eyes. Saw again the shadow in the shop window. In another mirror she hated. She couldn't simply cover with a blanket or a towel. Or smash. Or throw away. There was no mirror in her own room and she covered the one in her bathroom. But whenever she was with Chibiusa she had to face them. Whenever she saw into a shop window, into the clear water, sometimes even in other people's eyes she feared to see the shadow again. She never told anyone about it. Not even her parents. She didn't know how they would react. If they would think that she went made. That she saw illusions. That she was afraid of a ghost. She was now sixteen and a half. Too old to believe in monsters.

Witch 

Again she heard Akane's voice in her mind. Suddenly she wondered if the red haired girl was right. If she really was a witch. If she really was abnormal when she saw things no one else seemed to see. Or even to feel.

Daddy never asked further when I suddenly started to cry.

Hotaru took a deep breath. Whenever she looked frightened and tried desperately to get to a special person her parents never asked further but helped her to get there. Her daddy didn't ask her why she knew that uncle Sejya tried to commit suicide over six years ago. Haruka was simply relieved that they could hinder that tragedy. But there had been something in dark green eyes Hotaru couldn't define when she looked at her after the ambulance came and brought Sejya into the hospital. Hotaru didn't like that look. Maybe her father didn't even notice it but Hotaru had seen the fear there. She didn't want that anyone was afraid of her. Nor did she want to lose her parents. Her big, lively family who meant everything to her.

I don't wanna lose little darling.

A window was opened and the tall girl heard the familiar piano playing. It brought her back from her sad thoughts and she smiled loving as she heard how the playing stopped and someone cursed slightly.

Surely she's making a new song.

Hotaru's grin grew wider as the melody started again. This time a little bit different. It was a soft melody. But the same time it was a little bit sad. A professional woman voice accompanied the playing. It sounded right. Hotaru shivered, because she loved it to hear her auntie Mina sing. She was a great singer and everyone liked it to listen to her. She went on tour together with Hotaru's parents for several times and even with uncle Sejya. She couldn't play an instrument and she hardly wrote any song of her own, but her voice was a donation from god as Ami sometimes said with a blushed face. The people were bewitched by her voice and famous musicians wrote songs for her. Only for her. So that she should sing them.

This time daddy's the new victim.

Hotaru grinned and walked slowly over to the light house. She listened to the words and frowned. Somehow they didn't fit perfectly to the music. Somehow they were too bright, too happy. About a woman loving a man. Hotaru heard again and again the beginning of the new song and heard the sadness.

I won't tell them, will I?

The tall girl wondered while she opened the door that leaded through the garden right into the kitchen. Once she told her daddy that the lyrics weren't right and so she spent the next weeks of thinking of another one. It had been one of Minako's greatest songs but it had been hard work for Hotaru and she didn't know if she could concentrate the next weeks. When she had to decide if she wanted to go to such a private school. When she wanted to think what she should say Chibiusa the next weekend. When she still doubted if it was really a good idea to give her best friend the gift she bought a long time ago.

I'll never know it when I am a coward.

Hotaru sighed slightly and screamed as a little monster jumped right into her arms. Her school bag fell unseen on the ground and laughing Hotaru swirled her little sister around. Miyuki squeaked with happiness and her deep blue eyes sparkled. Her long blonde hairs flew through the air as Hotaru played plane with her. Automatically the little girl spread her arms and laughed even more.

Yuki-chan.

Hotaru's little sister was now six years old. A wanted child. A miracle for all of them. Modern medicine was now able to give two women their own child. Something Hotaru understood a long time later. She only knew that her parents went to hospital to get an own child. She knew that her mommy would get a big belly and that in that hospital they would get her new sister. Hotaru never wanted a brother and the whole time she insisted of getting a cute little sister. Just the way she had told auntie Ami when she was around in the light house with a big belly. And a book in her hands. It was a wonder that Ami's daughter wasn't the same crazy about books as she was. But Hotaru had the feeling that the reason for that was wild Minako.

My sweet little sis.

Hotaru would never forget the fear she felt when they found her mommy on the ground of the bathroom. Bleeding. Sobbing that she lost her child. She went into hospital for the next weeks and was very pale when she returned. Just like her daddy. They both were as silent as Hotaru had never seen them before and after a while Michiru declared that she wanted to go on tour – alone. That she needed time to understand. And after she promised Hotaru that she would return soon the tall girl let her go, too.

Our little tornado.

During the time Michiru was on tour Haruka went to the hospital again. Very often and she even HHerspent a whole week there. Auntie Ami and Minako took care for the ten year Hotaru in the meantime and tried to cheer her up. But she was only happy again when her daddy returned. A little bit exhausted, a little bit pale. Then everything got normal again. Only that her daddy felt sick. She got a flu and Hotaru remembered a time that the first thing that woke her up in the morning was the bang of the bathroom door. Then a long time nothing and then another bang when her daddy left it again. Her mommy returned and they were a happy family again. Hotaru clinched on them that time and didn't want them let ago. She was only ten years then and she needed her parents very much. Even now she needed them a lot.

Our little miracle.

It had been Christmas when Haruka gave her Michiru a small present. It had been light and Hotaru who didn't know what it contained had been very curious. Mostly she knew what her daddy would give her mommy. That was always the big secret between them. But this year she hadn't known about this small present. She remembered too well how Michiru opened it and held a tiny pyjama in her suddenly shaking hands. How tears shimmered in beautiful blue eyes and how she burst into tears as Haruka only nodded. She took her wife in her arms and rocked her. With a shaky voice Hotaru had never heard before in her life she said to the others who stood around looking very curiously that they would get a child, that Haruka was pregnant. Still now Hotaru grinned whenever she remembered the happiest and the same time the craziest Christmas she ever celebrated together with her big family. Michiru asked the whole evening for about thousands of times if it was really true and Haruka answered the same often with a tender hai and a loving kiss. The whole Sailor team had been excited that evening and congratulated them and all crazy aunts couldn't await to see the little one. At that moment Haruka went into their sleeping room and returned with a little black and white picture of the ultra sound. She showed it to them and for the very first time in her whole life Hotaru saw her daddy cry. Some tears escaped her dark green eyes and she sobbed helplessly. But it were tears of joy.

Hotaru swirled around with her little sister and finally gave her a loving kiss on her cheeks. The little girl beamed up at her and started excitedly to babble.

During the coming months after that crazy Christmas Haruka slowed down. She drove the Ferrari more seldom and for the first time since the past fifteen years she didn't take part in the Grand Prix of Japan. For the first time another one had the chance to win it. Her belly grew during the coming months just like Ami's three years before. And in the end of spring she had to go to the hospital. At the beginning of June Tenô Miyuki was born. A little girl that looked like her parents. Proud parents. And a proud big sister.

"I've finally found it." Mayumi ran into the kitchen, holding a card play triumphantly over her head. "It was under your bed, Yuki-chan." The blue haired girl grinned. "Hello, Hotaru-chan."

"Hello, May-chan." Greeted Hotaru back and let her little sister down again. Mayumi was now nine years old and the protector of Miyuki. She loved the little girl as if she was her sister and whenever Ami or Minako didn't have time to take care for her, Mayumi was here as well. She was very intelligent and almost as wild as Yuki-chan. And she was the only one who could play for hours the same card play with the little girl – and let her win. Haruka didn't have enough patience and Michiru couldn't lose without the little girl noticing it. But May-chan could.

"Mommy prepared supper." Yuki-chan took her bigger sister's hand and pulled her over to the hot oven. It smelled delicious and Hotaru saw the Lasagne inside the oven. "And I am hungry." The little girl giggled, then she ran over to her best friend and took away the card play. "Let's go to my room." She said and they both disappeared giggling.

Hotaru grabbed her bag again and made her way upstairs. To her own room. But she stopped at the opened door. For some moments she watched her daddy sitting at the black piano and playing the soft melody in thoughts. Minako looked into some sheets of papers and looked very critical.

"Something is missing..." she whispered while Haruka broke her play and corrected some notes. Hotaru didn't move. She loved it to see her daddy playing the instrument. Again the tall blonde started again to play and this time the melody sounded even sadder. It touched Hotaru's heart and suddenly she heard a soft voice whispering different words in her mind. Words that simply seemed to fit to the melody.

It's not a... 

There was suddenly a wrong note and Hotaru winced hard. She opened her eyes again and saw how her daddy scribbled again on the sheet laying on the black wood.

"Hi, Hotaru-chan." Grinned Minako who discovered her finally. Haruka raised surprised her eyebrows and a loving smile appeared on her face as she saw her daughter.

"Hello, Himme-chan." She said and stood up to come over to her. "Didn't hear you come. How was school today? And where's Chibiusa? Didn't she want to eat supper here, too?"

Himme-chan.

Hotaru smiled automatically back and put her bag down. That had always been her nickname her parents called her since she could remember. Even now when she was sixteen, almost seventeen. Almost an adult. Hotaru was sure that her parents would always call her this way. Even when she was an old woman. A mommy herself. Maybe even a grandmother. She would always stay the little Himme-chan.

Somehow that thought was nice. Hai, she would grow up. She would leave this house one day and live her own life. But it was good to know that she would always be her parent's daughter. That there was always a place she could turn to – no matter what would happen. Even when she was thirty five.

Just like my daddy can turn to my granny.

"School was fine. Do you know the book about that stupid samurai who saved whole Japan 500 years ago? We have to read it now." She grinned as she saw an expression on her daddy's face she had made when she opened the book for the first time. "Ask you mommy. She liked Japan history a little bit more than I." They both grinned understanding. "I only liked his horse."

"Hai, it was so fat and lazy."

Hotaru went over to the piano and glanced at the notes.

"Chibiusa had a phone call at school and had to return to the palace. Surely some politics."

"Poor girl."

Haruka stepped next to her daughter and stared at the notes, too. With the same thinking expression on her face.

"Hai."

Hotaru took the sheet in right hand and played with her left one some notes. She learned to play the piano, too. Her mommy insisted that she had to learn an instrument, too, and because she had always adored to hear her daddy's piano play, she decided for the black instrument. Yuki-chan was still too young but she liked to knock on every pot she found in the kitchen with a lot of fun. Maybe she would become a drummer one day.

"It sounds good..." whispered the red haired girl and frowned. "But something is missing..." she felt her daddy's hands on her shoulders and looked shortly into green eyes.

"You can finish it, if you like. Minako and I don't know what we should change and the lyrics won't fit." Haruka sat down again and nodded as the blonde singer gave her another sheet of paper.

"Let's practice this one."

Haruka only nodded and soon another soft melody filled the air. Hotaru put the sheet of paper away and sat down on the ground to listen to the nice music. To watch her daddy playing and her auntie singing. The light of the setting sun filled the room and covered it with a pleasant warm light of gold and dark red.

I love you so much.

Hotaru winced as suddenly two arms embraced her. She looked over her shoulder and saw directly into shinning blue eyes. Her mommy smiled loving at her and squeezed her gently while Haruka and Minako seemed to be lost in their world of music.

"Was school fine or do I have to punish anyone?" whispered Michiru and felt how Hotaru crept deeper into her embracement.

"Nope, mommy. Everything fine." Hotaru knew that her mommy meant Akane. After the argument with Akane's parents and the headmaster the tall girl knew that her parents only wanted to protect her. If she'd ever come home with a blue eye or a broken arm they would talk another very, very serious word with Akane's parents. At least Michiru would talk while trying to hold Haruka back to beat Akane's ignorant, arrogant, fat father down who called her bad names.

"You got the letters this morning, didn't you?"

"Hai."

Hotaru didn't ask why her mother knew that. Her mother knew a lot and more than once she surprised her with that.

"And?" There was a smile in Michiru's voice and Hotaru suspected that her mother already knew the answer. That she couldn't imagine that any school didn't want her smart daughter.

"They all want me." Hotaru felt how her mommy squeezed her a little bit tighter and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"That's fine, princess." She whispered. "Did you already..."

At that moment the door bell rang. Haruka broke her play and Minako sang for some seconds all alone until she noticed that the piano was missing.

"We'll talk later, honey." Michiru got to her feet and smiled over to her wife. Then she walked upstairs to open the door. Soon there was the scream of a little baby crying hungry. Minako's eyes started to sparkle and the next moment she was out of the room and they could hear her jumping down the staircase.

Haruka frowned. Then she took another sheet of paper and started to play. Hotaru heard the well known voice upstairs and grinned. She came to her feet and sat down next to her daddy. Then she accompanied her and they played the song with four hands.

"And it's really okay that you'll watch over him this night?" Hotaru raised her head and looked over to the opened door while her hands automatically kept stroking the keys. There stood a beautiful woman with long, red hairs. She held a bundle in her arms. A little boy of hardly six months. She wore a long, white dress and looked like an angel.

"Of course, Kakyuu." Smiled Michiru who followed her to show her the room where the cradle stood. Minako was right behind the red haired woman and looked with stars sparkling in her blue eyes over the shoulder to catch a look of the cute baby. "Today is your third anniversary. Go out and have some fun."

"Hello, Hotaru-chan."

"Hello, auntie Kakyuu."

They shortly winked at each other. Haruka shortly looked up and greeted the red haired woman with a smile. Her face froze as she saw the young man stumbling behind the women.

"Hi, tomboy."

"Hi, baka."

Haruka turned again towards the piano and continued to play. She pretended not to see how Michiru took the little baby in her arms and went over to the guest room where a cradle stood. She pretended not to hear how Sejya and Kakyuu thanked them again and again that they would baby sit the little one. She pretended not to listen to them going back to the front door and leaving the light house by the sea. At the moment the car drove away Haruka broke the piano play and went over to the window. When she saw how the car disappeared in the darkness, she left the room and went over to the guest room.

Hotaru and Michiru shortly exchanged glances and giggled. They both knew that Haruka was crazy about the little one. That she liked Sejya and Kakyuu a lot. But that she'd rather eaten her tongue than admitting it.

She's very stubborn.

Hotaru went downstairs into the kitchen to help auntie Minako to set the table. Michiru thought for a moment and sneaked then nearer to the guest room door. She leaned against the door and watched how her wife went on her knees next to the cradle. How she took the little boy carefully in her arms and rocked him. He was now sleeping after his mother fed him again.

He looks cute.

Haruka remembered too well how shocked they all had been after Sejya tried to commit suicide. Usagi had been the most frightened of them all. Afraid that he would do such a stupid mistake again. So she took all her powers and called the rest of the Three Lights and princess Kakyuu. She explained them what happened and only two months later Kakyuu returned to earth. Suddenly on a cold winter's night she knocked at their door and asked if they needed her help.

"Hey, you little one? Sleepy?" teased Haruka the little boy and grinned as he only yawned tiredly.

She would never forget the stunned look on Sejya's face as he came to the light house by the sea. To ask Minako if she was ready to come with him to record the new CD. But it hadn't been Minako who opened the door for him. It had been Kakyuu. A friendly princess who declared him that she got bored on her home planet. That Setsuna and Yaten and Tahiki would take good care for it. That she missed the earth and the crazy Sailor Team. And that she had missed him, too.

"What a big mouth." The little boy yawned again and Haruka laid him carefully back into the cradle.

Since that day Sejya and Kakyuu had been inseparable. Half a year later they decided to marry and since Haruka's and Michiru's wedding there hadn't been such a great party. Minako did her very best with the show and Makoto did magic with her cooking skills.

"Here's your little bunny." Haruka reached over to the couch and pulled the toy out of the bag. The baby yawned again and held the red bunny tight in his tiny arms.

It was now six months ago that this little boy was born. Haruka had to grin as she thought of Sejya as becoming daddy. He had always been crazy but these months after he got to know that his wife was pregnant he got worse. Although Haruka had believed that this couldn't be possible. That Sejya couldn't be more nervous than he had always been. But he could. He forgot his lyrics on an important concert and simply couldn't shut up any longer. He babbled the whole time excitedly. Only Kakyuu could calm him down sometimes. But she wasn't always around and soon Haruka and he were arguing worse than ever before.

Tamahoe.

Finally the little boy was born and Sejya calmed down a little bit. He was very proud of his wife and almost broke Haruka's arm as she looked at the baby and asked him why it wasn't a girl. It should have been a joke because it was the first boy born in the Sailor Team. Hotaru, Chibiusa, Mayumi and Miyuki were all girls. Only Kakyuu's high laughter rescued Haruka of being killed by a raging Sejya.

Tami-chan.

The little boy was safe here and he seemed to feel it. He yawned again, grabbing his bunny tighter and finally falling asleep. Haruka leaned forward and covered his small body with a soft blanket.

I am very happy that they're all fine.

Haruka rose and shortly frowned as she saw her wife leaning against the door frame.

"You do really hate Sejya." Grinned Michiru and embraced her lover to kiss her tenderly. To mess her blonde hairs. To look directly into shinning green eyes. Haruka chuckled and pulled her closer.

"Of course I do."

They both smiled tenderly at each other before they kissed again.

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It was late in the evening. Hotaru sat on her soft bed and looked tiredly into her school books. She didn't want to read about the samurai, but she knew that she wouldn't find any time of learning when Chibiusa would be here the next weekend.

"May-chan... gimme the towel... and come back into the tube..."

Hotaru giggled as she heard Minako's loud voice shouting desperate through the whole house. Her daughter laughed happily and Hotaru soon heard fast steps running down the staircase. Somewhere near Miyuki giggled, too. She went to bed an hour ago but of course she couldn't sleep when there was still so much action going on.

They ate their supper and played another game. Minako tried hard to win but failed and comforted herself with a chocolate she had to share with the others who looked suddenly very pleading at her.

Hotaru put the book away and sighed deeply. She looked over to her desk, knowing what the drawers hide. Chibiusa's present. She simply couldn't concentrate on her homework. Not as long as her thoughts drifted always away. To the next weekend.

Someone knocked at the door and Hotaru winced a little bit. The door was opened and she saw how her mommy came in. She still wore her summer dress and looked a little bit tired, too.

"Gomen, honey, that I didn't have the time to talk to you." She said while she sat down next to her daughter on the big bed. She stroke loving through dark strands and stared for some seconds at the book.

"That's with the heroic samurai and his lazy but very nice horse, isn't it?" she asked and giggled as Hotaru rolled her eyes.

"Hai. Our teacher is really mad now. We have to read it and to write a test about it... some when." She sighed and covered the book with a pillow so that she didn't have to see it any longer.

"May I see your letters?" Michiru asked and leaned back on the wall. For some moments she studied the letters and then beamed at her daughter. "I told you that they all want you. Such a smart girl." She grinned and stroke again through dark hairs. Hotaru felt how she blushed.

"It's your decision if you go to such a private school for a year and it's your decision where you go to." Said Michiru after a long while she looked at her daughter in silence. "Don't think about money, Himme-chan, we can afford it. Just think about you and if you want it." Michiru leaned over and took her daughter for some moments in her soft arms. "Of course we want you near us. Tokyo would be fine. But if you want to go to Kyoto, we support you, Himme-chan. You know that, don't you?"

"Hai." Answered Hotaru and felt suddenly a lump in her throat.

They always supported me. Even when I threw the basket ball through the palace's window the last year.

"You still have a week. Think it over, Himme-chan." Shortly Michiru looked with a very serious expression in her eyes down at her daughter. "If you want to talk about anything, you can always come to us."

"Hai..."

I love Chibiusa, the future queen of Crystal Tokyo.

I see that shadow in almost every mirror.

I see people dying.

"I know, mommy." Hotaru gulped and squeezed her mommy again. She knew that her parents would listen. That they would maybe understand her. But she couldn't talk to them. Not about those topics she didn't really understand herself.

"The good night, honey. And don't read too long. Tomorrow's another day at school."

"Don't worry, mommy, guess I had enough of that samurai."

They both grinned at each other. Then Michiru sneaked again out of the room and the screaming of Minako and May-chan got for some moments a little bit louder.

Thanks for your offer.

Hotaru closed her eyes and leaned again back against the soft pillows. She pulled her headphones over her ears and listened to soft music.

But there're some things I have to handle alone.

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It was dark when she woke up. Hotaru yawned and rubbed her tired eyes. Shortly she looked at her alarm clock and knew that it was past three in the morning. She yawned again and tried to turn around and to sleep again. They had Japanese grammar the first lesson and she didn't want to fall asleep while their strict teacher wanted them to learn more about their alleged beautiful native language.

That moment she heard the slight sob again. She raised her head and listened carefully. There was someone outside. Someone who tried to be calm but stumbled several times. The sobbing increased and Hotaru slipped out of her bed. Carefully she opened the door and stared in the darkness outside her room.

Nani?

She saw the shadow simply standing there. Staring on her hands and trying to cry without making too much noise.

Auntie Ami?

Hotaru frowned and wanted to go over to her. To ask her what was wrong as she saw how another door was opened and a shadow crept through the darkness.

"Ami-chan?"

It took Hotaru some seconds to recognize that it had been Minako who spoke.

"Everything okay, little one?"

Ami looked up and cried even harder. Minako simply embraced her and held her tight.

"It's the little boy, isn't it? The one who had cancer?" gulped Minako and tried to calm the young doctor down. "How was the operation, Ami-chan?"

"It didn't work." Sobbed Ami and Hotaru felt suddenly deep sorrow inside herself. She had heard about the little boy of seven years who had cancer. They tried everything to save her. Different therapies, different operations. They all hoped that he would make it. That he would survive it. But the longer Hotaru heard aunt Ami's desperate sobs she knew that the little boy wouldn't experience his eighth birthday.

"There's nothing we can do any longer. He won't... won't..." Ami gulped and choked. Minako stoke calming through blue hairs. "He won't survive the next weekend..." The young doctor sobbed even harder. It was the first time in her career that she couldn't save a life. That she lost against the time. Against death. That she had to let go. To give up. "I... I don't know how... how I shall tell it... his parents... they were so full of hope... and... and... I don't... I can't..." stammered Ami and cried even louder. Minako simply held her tight and comforted her the best she could.

"You did your best, Ami-chan. You can't change destiny." She whispered. "Without you he would died months ago. Remember, you made him laugh and happy."

More crying. Hotaru gulped and grabbed hard for the door's frame. Suddenly she felt very sick and weak. Tears shimmered in her eyes, too. She got to know the little boy, too. She visited the hospital together with her parents. It had been carnival and they all wore costumes. The little boy decided for a huge, white mouse and he looked really cute. He got sweets and the whole day his eyes sparkled of joy.

For a long time Ami simply cried and Minako said some more comforting words. Hotaru didn't dare to move. She simply stood there. Thinking. Shaking. And a little bit crying, too.

"Come, let's go to bed. You had a long day, little one." Said Minako after another long time and tried to pull Ami towards her room. The young doctor stiffed and shook her head.

"I wanna go in my own room." She declared with a husky voice and wiped some tears away from her face. Her whole body trembled and she looked like a little misery.

For some seconds there was dead silence between them. Then Minako took a deep breath.

"I promised you once to be a good friend for you. To be always be there for you whenever you need me and to take care for your daughter."

"Hai..."

"I'll keep that promise, Ami-chan. I would never hurt you. Nor would I touch you." Minako suddenly grinned and it looked very strange although normally she grinned the whole day. "Don't be such a coward. It's just me, the good ole Minako. And in your conditions right now I won't let you sleep alone. Who knows what crazy ideas are in your mind. You know what Sejya almost did..."

Ami sighed deeply. Then she nodded.

"Okay, you won." She whispered and some seconds later the door closed silently behind them. Hotaru stood there for another long while and stared in the empty darkness. Then she turned around and walked slowly back to her bed. She covered herself with her blankets and stared with wide eyes at the ceiling. Soon the sun started to raise. Coloured light of a new born day filled her room. Of another hot summer day. But somehow Hotaru couldn't stop freezing. The rest of the night she had to think of the poor little boy who would never celebrate his birthday or Christmas together with his parents. She thought of Ami and Minako and their really strange relationship. She thought of Chibiusa and the present she got for her. And she thought about the shadow and all those people she had seen in the mirror, too.

At the time her alarm clock rang she was already fully dressed and had read the silly book for three times. To distract her thoughts. But it simply didn't work.

Hotaru looked for some seconds at the still closed door the she turned around and hurried along the corridor. To wake May-chan up. She had to go to school, too. To help her mommy making breakfast. To behave happy as always.

Although she felt very sad inside. Sad and strangely empty.

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She raised her hands and tied her dark hairs together in her neck. Some strands escaped again and she stroke them with an impatient gesture behind her ears. Then she grabbed her school bag again and hurried up. She had rolled up the sleeves of her school uniform's blouse and the first two buttons were opened to let her breathe easier. She lifted her long skirt a little bit so that it was easier for her to run in the noon's heat. Her sandals clapped as she ran through the huge portal that leaded inside the Crystal palace. Her sockets were inside her school bag. It was simply too hot to wear them any longer. Her face was redden but her dark eyes sparkled excitedly.

The guards bowed quickly as she hurried by. She smiled at them and shortly waved at them. They all knew her. The best friend of the young princess. Somehow she seemed to belong to the Crystal palace. To queen Usagi. To the whole family.

How late...

Shortly Hotaru looked at her watch and hurried even more. She wanted to meet Chibiusa here at one o clock. Now it was past two. She was too late. But she really forgot their last lesson. It only took part once a month and so she almost missed it. But a nice girl sitting in front of her reminded her to stay when she started to pack her bag and was about to leave earlier. Hotaru was very thankful because otherwise she would have been in great trouble.

Too late!

Hotaru ran along the light corridors. The pillars were made of white marble and the sun shone through huge windows, lightened up the whole palace. It was surrounded by a big garden. All trees were green and she could hear the royal birds singing outside.

Surely little darling will be angry.

The princess spent the last days at the palace. She didn't return to school and there seemed to be really important visitors this time. Hotaru had been a little bit sad when she waited two days in vain for her best friend. The more she was happy when Chibiusa called her up the last evening and told her that she was allowed to leave the palace the next day. That they should go swimming together as they had planned earlier this week. And that she had to tell her something important.

Something important?

Hotaru didn't know what Chibiusa meant. But for the princess everything was important. What dress she should wear on her official birthday celebration. Which book she should read for school they were allowed to chose on their own. Who would become the guard of the year. But Hotaru didn't care about it any longer. School was over for this week, Chibiusa would come with her this weekend and surely they would have a lot of fun. Hotaru felt as happy as she hadn't felt the past days. Whenever she saw Ami walking around like a ghost. No one could cheer her up. Not crazy Minako, not calm Michiru and surely not hot tempered Haruka. Hotaru heard her parents talk about the young doctor and Haruka said that Ami had to go through this. That she had to learn this lesson that she couldn't save all her patients. And that she had to recognize that there were many patients she could rescue. She could help.

"Hotaru-chan?"

Hotaru stumbled over her own feet and almost crashed into the shinning person standing suddenly in front of her. Queen Usagi made a terrified face as Hotaru grabbed her right arm and they both lost balance. With a loud scream they both landed in a huge palm tree standing next to an opened window.

"G... gomen..." stammered Hotaru and blushed deeply. But Usagi only started to laugh and helped the girl up. She pointed over to the fountain standing only ten feet away and grinned. "Well, Hotaru-chan, it could have been worse. At least I am not wet all over."

Hotaru corrected her back bag and nodded slowly. She watched how the queen, a beautiful young woman with shimmering blue eyes and always a friendly smile on her face, rose, too. The white dress was dirtied now but not only because of the palm tree. Hotaru could see different red spots on the white cloth, too. Surely remains of the late lunch. A crown was on her head between her two odangos and she looked like a real lady. Although Chibiusa often disagreed. That her mother was the most clumsy person she had ever seen. But the princess said it with a sparkle in her eyes that betrayed Hotaru that Chibiusa loved her mother. Even if she stumbled over her own dress and fell almost down the staircase when she wanted to welcome the president of Australia. Usagi had been lucky, her husband was there to held her back.

"You're here to see Chibiusa, right?" asked the queen and tried to hide a really big spot of a brown fluid, surely cold. She simply covered that part of her dress with her hands. Hotaru grinned and nodded.

"Hai."

"She's over in the south garden." Suddenly Usagi looked very tired and sad. She wanted to say something else but Hotaru did already run away and disappeared out of her sign. "She's not alone, Hotaru-chan."

Hotaru ran along the corridor and spun around the corner to the huge portal that would lead her out to the south garden. It was Chibiusa's most favourite place. With a lot of apple and cherry trees. Chibiusa's most favourite trees. There were hardly any flowers around. Only a lot of grass and those trees. In one there was her old swing and sometimes she still used it although she not a small child any longer.

"Little dar..."

Hotaru opened the door and stood right on the top of the staircase. Her voice died away and she stopped dead in the motion as she saw her princess standing there under an apple tree that carried a lot of fruits. Chibiusa wasn't alone. Another shadow stood next to her. A person Hotaru knew too well. A person the tall girl didn't like.

Helios!

Hotaru's eyes narrowed and for some seconds she stared in silence at the two persons who didn't seem to have noticed her. They talked quietly to each other. Hotaru gasped automatically as Chibiusa reached for Helios' hand and held it tight. The princess looked deeply into the other one's eyes. She said something more and then slowly, very slowly they embraced.

Nani?

Hotaru squinted in the bright sunlight, but the vision didn't disappear. She didn't wake up from this obvious nightmare.

Nani?

Again she heard the teasing voice of queen Usagi in her ears. That Helios would be a great son in law. That he and Chibiusa would make a great couple together. That their children would surely look sweet. Normally Chibiusa blushed deeply and declared with an angry voice that Helios was only her friend. A good friend but nothing more. Her mother used that chance and teased Chibiusa even more around.

Nani...

Hotaru gulped. There was a big lump in her throat and suddenly she felt tears burning in her eyes. Still they didn't move. Still Chibiusa and Helios stood there. Arm in arm. Embracing each other. None of them spoke.

You knew that this would happen one day.

Hotaru gulped again. Her whole body started to tremble but she couldn't move. She wanted to go over to them. To behave the way she normally behaved. To pretend that she didn't see the intimate touch. But she couldn't. She only stood there. As if she was paralysed. Looking helpless at the couple. Gulping again and again. Fighting hard against her tears.

You knew that this would happen. Sooner than later.

Her lips shook and she couldn't speak. She couldn't make a sound. Not even the slightest sob. Not even the quietest whimper.

She's a young, beautiful woman. She's now fifteen. High time for her to find a boyfriend. And Helios is accepted in the palace. He's loved by her parents. He's the perfect boyfriend for she.

Hotaru clenched her ice cold fists and some strands of her dark hair fell into her pale face. Two tears escaped her eyes and simply flew over her suddenly shrunken cheeks.

You knew that she's not like you. You only dreamed that she could be. Every time she grabbed your hand. Every time she crept nearer to you in her sleep because she had been afraid of monsters or the thunder storm. Every time you went along the street with her to buy something or just to look into the shop windows.

Hotaru gulped again, taking two little steps back as her trembling body obeyed again. Still staring at the couple in disbelieve. They only held each other tight. They didn't kiss. Not yet. They only held each other tight. There was a soft whisper from Chibiusa. A love declaration? Hotaru didn't know. She didn't want to know.

You hoped that she would return your love. You hoped it although you knew that it would never become true. She's not like you. She's a good friend but never, never someone else.

Hotaru grabbed her school bag tighter and turned around. She pushed the door open and simply ran. Her heart beat wildly inside her chest and her whole body started to hurt. She knew that she loaded her body too much. Especially after what happened just two years ago. But she didn't want to stop. She didn't want to face her Chibiusa again. She didn't want to think. She only wanted to run. To be faster than every bird. Than every car. Even faster than the wind. To escape her destiny. Her wracked future. Her weak, stupid, useless body.

The door closed far away again. But neither Chibiusa nor Helios heard them. They stood there in silence for about five more minutes. Then the young man started desperately to cry and broke down sobbing in his friend's arms.

"Hotaru-chan? Didn't you find her?"

Hotaru pushed the queen aside and stumbled downstairs. She ignored the guards and left the palace as quickly as she could. She ran along the street. Feeling the hot sun burning down at her. Tears streamed over her pale cheeks and her whole body trembled and hurt. But she forced herself to keep running. She didn't want to give up. Never again.

Shit!

She wanted to curse loudly but she was out of breath. Finally she had to slow down. Near the beach. She heard the rushing of the waves but this time it couldn't calm her down. She felt empty and alone. As though she had just lost something really important in her life. Or someone.

Shit!

She gasped hard for breath as she slowly walked over to the ocean. She didn't slip out of her shoes. She didn't even think of them as she stepped into the pleasant cold water. Still the sun burned down at her while she stood motionless in the low water. Watching the waves playing with her legs and the rims of her school uniform's skirt. She saw herself in the water's reflection. Her sad face. The tears slowly drying on her cheeks.

"Shit..." she panted, finally able to say anything. "Shit!" She clenched her fists again and regretted that she had run away. How should she explain Chibiusa her sudden flight? How should she explain it to the queen?

What is that bloody boy doing there?

Hotaru wrapped her arms protectively around her waist and shivered slightly as wind played with her sweaty strands.

Is Helios that important visitor why little darling didn't come to school the past days?

Now anger and hate sparkled in her dark eyes and she bowed to pick up a small stone from the ground. She threw it energetically, still panting. It jumped over the ways and finally disappeared into nothing.

Shit!

She sighed deeply. Prepared to turn around and to go back into the palace. Telling them a story they might believe and trying to behave as normal. She didn't want to lose Chibiusa as her best friend. As her only true friend. But the same time she felt that she already lost the princess.

Hotaru sighed deeply and wanted to go away as she felt the cold raising inside her body. She froze in motion and got even paler. Her hands trembled as she stroke some black strands behind her ears.

Not again. Please, not again!

It took her all her powers, all her courage to lower her head from the cloudless sky above to the clear water above. The surface shimmered in all colours of the rainbow and it took her some moments to look through it. To see the water's reflection. To recognize the shadow standing there.

Why are you here?

But she didn't dare to say it aloud. Her whole body trembled and suddenly tears stood in her eyes again as she saw the other person the shadow embraced. Hotaru sobbed out loud as she recognized the cute boy her aunt Ami tried to save so desperate from his illness. He smiled and waved at her. Hotaru shook her head and bowed to grab for him in the low water. But the moment her hand broke through the surface the vision was gone. The shadow disappeared into nothing. Just like the boy.

Nani...

Hotaru sobbed louder and wrapped her arms around her waist again. Slowly she stumbled back until she felt the warm sand under her feet again. She knew too well what this meant. Surely Ami sat now in the hospital and cried at the nurses to get those expansive machines. Until another doctor would try to explain her that the boy was dead. That they couldn't do anything for him. That it was simply destiny and that doctor Mizuno should let go. For heaven's and for the boy's sake.

I hate this!

Hotaru spun around and started again to run. Not caring about her hurting body. Not caring that she could break down the next bend. Not caring about anything at all.

I hate this shadow showing me things I cannot change!

The tall girl lost her right sandal but she didn't notice it. She simply ran and ran and ran. As long as her body supported that exhausting action.

I hate it to stand helpless aside!

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The crumbled sheet danced in her trembling hands. Again and again she looked at the notes but the melody she hummed sounded shaky. She sat on her bed, being wrapped in her blanket and staring blank at the notes without really seeing them. There had been chaos when she returned home. Minako just got a phone call from the hospital and was very busy to get there. Haruka offered her to drive her after Minako asked her for the keys of the Ferrari. The young singer didn't have a driver's license but she simply didn't think about it any longer. Michiru had a very important concert she couldn't cancel and so aunt Rei baby sit now Mayumi and Miyuki. They were right now in the kitchen preparing supper. But Hotaru didn't feel hungry. She didn't feel anything at all. She only sat there and tried to creep even deeper inside her blanket.

I lost her.

Again and again she saw Chibiusa standing there embracing Helios. Surely they kissed after she left. Surely that was the important thing the princess wanted to tell her, her best friend. That she had a boyfriend.

Best friend? Ha! She doesn't need me any longer!

Hotaru reached for her pencil and corrected some more notes. Again she hummed the melody and with every try it got sadder and more desperate.

Because it's no... 

... at all... 

The lyric formed inside her mind but she wasn't in the mood to write them down. She didn't want that her daddy played such a depressing song. Best she threw the paper away and never spoke about it again. Surely her daddy would forget it sooner or later.

I lost her.

Hotaru gulped again and brought her feet to her chest. She remembered all those happy times she spent together with her little darling. Remembered how they drove the big dipper. How they shared often their sweets. How they laid on this bed and watched secretly horror movies. How they learned to drive the bike together. With Haruka's and Mamoru's help. It took them over two months and at the end of the summer they were almost faster than their daddy's. How Chibiusa came into school and Hotaru, only one class higher, tried to help her with her homework. How they made holidays in the mountains together with the whole family. With the whole team. How Chibiusa and Hotaru discovered a new mountain and none of the adults dared to tell them that it had already been discovered by someone else. Centuries ago.

Our candy mountain.

Hotaru smiled sadly. She remembered too well the first day she met Chibiusa. It was her very first memory. She had been 20 months old and ran through the Crystal palace. She heard someone screaming and together with her parents she entered the sleeping room. Aunt Usagi laid there in the big bed and she looked very exhausted but the same time very happy. She held a little bundle in her soft arms. A little girl with fluffy pink hairs. Who opened her pink eyes and stared at the small Hotaru standing curiously next to the bed. Then the baby stretched her tiny arms and started to laugh.

Hotaru sighed deeply and put the paper away. She covered her burning eyes with her icy hands and sighed again. She didn't know if it was then. If she fell in love with Chibiusa that very day. But she couldn't remember a single day she didn't have loved her. Even when they argued and didn't speak for days or even weeks. First Hotaru thought that Chibiusa was the little sister she didn't have. Until Miyuki was born and Hotaru discovered that her feelings were different towards the princess of Crystal Tokyo.

But she isn't like me!

Hotaru saw again Chibiusa and Helios standing there.

She loves him. See it, Tenô girl, only him. Not you...

The door bell was ringing but she didn't react. Surely a friend of Rei. Maybe even her grandpa who needed something for the temple. Normally Rei cared for the old building because her grandpa was simply too old. He was nearly ninety but he insisted often to lead the temple again. And even if it was just for one evening.

I should get up and help her making supper.

Hotaru rubbed her tired eyes and crept from her bed. She stretched her body and opened to window to let a little bit fresh air in. It slammed against the frame as someone opened the door. Without a knock. Hotaru spun around and saw Chibiusa standing near the door. She carried a huge bag and it seemed to be too heavy for the girl.

"Don't stand there like a mummy. Help me!" she said and giggled as she saw Hotaru's stunned face. "Hey, it's only one bag. I tried not to exaggerate this time after your daddy almost fainted the last time." Hotaru watched her for some other seconds, then she came automatically nearer and helped her lifting the bag to the next chair. It was really heavy.

"What are you doing here?" asked the tall girl and was now really confused. Chibiusa raised her eyebrows and shook her head.

"What did they do with you today at school? Some incredible stupid tests?" giggled the princess. "You invited me. Do you remember? I want to spend the night here. We want to watch horror movies and I still don't have my birthday present from you." Now Chibiusa pouted and looked really cute.

Sleeping? Here?

Hotaru frowned and suddenly panic raised inside her body.

Birthday present?

The tall girl remembered the small box deep inside her drawers and suddenly knew that she would have to throw it away. Because Chibiusa would never get it. Never.

Hotaru thought at her own parents, then at aunt Ami and aunt Minako.

Never. It's better this way.

"Er..." still she didn't know what to say. But Chibiusa didn't notice. She was already busy to make herself home. Suddenly several clothes covered Hotaru's couch and the pink haired girl looked at the tapes lying next to her video recorder.

"I wanna see this one. It's new, isn't it?" asked the princess and rose another video tape in the air. Hotaru only nodded and looked thoughtful at a long, white night grown. At that moment she turned around and took a deep breath.

This is a nightmare!

Slightly she could remember how happy she had been only five hours ago. When she wanted to catch Chibiusa up. But after she had seen her with Helios everything seemed to have changed. Still the world turn around but it wasn't the same any more.

"A new song?"

Hotaru spun around and saw Chibiusa sitting on the edge of her huge bed. Again she had to gulp. Because Chibiusa never used a guest bed. It had never been necessary.

"It's..." with two steps Hotaru was next to her and grabbed the already grumbled sheet of paper and pulled it safely away into the pocket of her cut jeans. They were dark. Just like her wide t-shirt. "It's... rubbish..." She felt how she blushed as Chibiusa raised asking her eyebrows.

"Taru?" she asked and the cheeky grin disappeared from her face. "Everything alright?" Chibiusa plucked nervously at the blanket and seemed to see for a moment the chaos she brought into her best friend's room within the last ten minutes. "Is there..."

They were cut off when the door was opened and Miyuki jumped into the room. Chased by an excited Mayumi.

"Supper. Auntie Rei almost burned the chicken, but the rice is delicious." She laughed and jumped into Hotaru's arms who held her automatically tight after she stumbled back some steps in surprise.

"Of course it is. We made the rice." Mayumi looked really proud of herself.

"And I took the ketchup out of the fridge."

Hotaru nodded and went with her little sister on her arms out of her room. Not caring any more that a slightly frowning Chibiusa followed her. Simply not knowing any longer how she should handle this whole evening.

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It smelled delicious. Rei looked really exhausted when she put the chicken on to the table and they all sat down around it. It almost took all her nerves to produce an eatable supper. She knew she should be better as a priestess, as a woman, but her grandfather loved it to cook and so she never had a real chance to learn it.

I am better than Usagi!

Shortly she observed how Mayumi tried some chicken and put then a thick layer of ketchup over the poor bird.

Everyone is better than Usagi!

Rei sighed deeply but no one complaint. They all ate and Yuki-chan and May-chan told them all about their day in the kindergarten and at school. Often the two girls giggled excited and exchanged knowing glances. Chibiusa giggled with them and told them some stories about her own time in the kindergarten. Soon the kitchen was filled with laughter and even Rei forgot that the chicken wasn't the best she'd ever cooked. At least they all loved the ice cream. With wiped cream.

"I heard that Helios visits the place, Chibiusa-chan." Rei asked curiously after they finished their meal. She heard about the rumours but simply didn't have enough time to talk to Usagi seriously about it. Very seriously. Because she had seen signs inside the fire. Bad signs.

"Hai." Suddenly Chibiusa looked very sad. "His parents are very ill and so they sent him to us." Thoughtful she took her glass of juice in her hands, but she didn't drink. "Helios is very sad, but I told him that he should cheer up." Chibiusa raised her head and an honest smile appeared on her face. "My daddy's now in Elysium to help them. I am sure that he's able to heal Helios' parents. My parents are very powerful and there's hardly anything they couldn't achieve. That's what I told Helios, too."

Hotaru grabbed her spoon tighter and suddenly she didn't have any appetite any longer. The ice cream looked like a grey, ugly mud to her and she felt suddenly very sick. Again she saw again the cutest couple of the world standing beneath that cherry tree, holding hands.

"Hai, the queen is indeed very powerful." Admitted Rei and try to hide her doubt. There were illness on this world even Usagi couldn't heal. But Chibiusa's smile was so innocent, she didn't want to destroy her inner peace. Not yet. Hopefully never.

"Hm." Chibiusa nodded and some red spots covered the white tablecloth as she pointed with her spoon at Rei. Forgetting that there was still some strawberry ice cream on it. "That's what I told Helios and..."

Helios!

I hate him!

Helios!

How can anyone name his child after the sun?

Helios!

It's such an ugly name!

Helios!

I will never have what already belongs to him...

Her chair fell on the ground as Hotaru stood up with a sudden. She didn't look into the other's stunned faces and simply turned around. Hard she slammed the door behind herself and suddenly it was so much fun to walk upstairs very, very loudly.

"Hotaru-chan?"

Rei's voice let her froze in motion. It was not because her aunt's voice was so dangerously quiet. Or dangerously loud. Just like a fireball exploding. The way she mostly was. But it was because Rei sounded very tired and very, very sad.

Shortly she looked around and saw some tears sparkling in dark eyes.

"You heard about Shinji, too, didn't you?" she asked and gulped. The priestess didn't want to cry. But she had seen into Minako's excited face and knew what happened. She had been on the carnival, too. She wore together with Makoto a dragon's costume. While Makoto had to take care for the food she changed places with Usagi and the queen complaint the whole time why she had been the second part of it. Why her plaids were confused with the dragon's tail. Shinji had heard them argue under the green and red costume and had laughed. A small boy whose body had seen a lot of pain. A little, very pale boy who wanted to live. Who fought hard with his illness. Who wanted to grow old. To find a love on day. To have a family one day. To be happy about every minute that was given to him.

Today he died.

Hotaru only nodded. Knowing that it wasn't the only reason why she was so angry right now. But it was a good reason to hide behind. Until she would feel better. Until she wouldn't want to yell at other persons any longer. Until the pain would disappear out of her heart, just like the picture of that cute couple would disappear out of her mind. Some day. Maybe...

"Hai..."

The next moment Rei stood next to her and simply took her into her arms and held her tight for some seconds.

"That's life." She whispered. "Sometimes we can't change it. Ami did her best."

"I know."

Rei took a deep breath. Then she let go and watched Hotaru for some moments in silence.

"Better I go to my room. Chibiusa wants to watch a movie and my whole room is still a mess. Somehow forgot that I get a guest this evening..." Hotaru shrugged her shoulders. "And I really forgot to wrap her birthday present. I am a baka..." she tried to smile and went over to her room.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" asked Rei with concern in her voice because there was something wrong with Hotaru's smile. But she couldn't define what it was.

"Hai."

With those words Hotaru closed the door behind herself and quickly tidied up her room. Her own clothes went into her wardrobe. Messy on the ground but as long as the doors were closed no one would see them. Then she put her blankets in order and put all the crumbled paper lying on the ground into the wastebasket. Shortly she looked down her desk and decided to put all her books inside her school bag again. There was only one week left before vacations and there was only one test to write: About the samurai. Suddenly it was alike to her what she would get. It didn't matter any longer.

It's all so senseless.

She put the school bag away and opened the window. Then she knelt down before the video recorder and switched on the television. Carefully she put the tape into the video recorder and was relieved to see that it still worked.

"You wanted to see this film, right?" asked Hotaru and raised the tape over her head without turning around as she felt a breeze of wind playing with her hairs. She knew that it was Chibiusa entering the room. Her sister and May-chan would have been louder.

"Hai..."

Hotaru gasped for breath as she felt the next moments how arms were wrapped around her waist. How someone pulled her near a warm body.

Nani?

Hotaru wanted to scream. To ask what this was for? Why Chibiusa had to torture her that much? Why she always made her so many hopes? Why she gave her so many wishes that could never come true, because the princess loved Helios!

Because she doesn't know it any better.

Hotaru gulped but didn't dare to say a word. She didn't make the slightest sound. She only sat there and waited. Waited for the future to happen.

Because she's like her mother. Usagi is friendly to everyone, too. She makes everyone feeling loved by her. But only Mamoru owns her heart.

It was a long time that they sat there. Chibiusa leaning her head against Hotaru's shoulder and holding her tightly, Hotaru staring with wide opened eyes at the blank screen, still holding the remote control in her suddenly shaking hands. Slowly the sun started to set, filled the room with a gently, warm golden light that turned soon into a pleasant red.

"Aunt Rei told me about Shinji." Said Chibiusa after a long while and her voice was shaky. "I am sorry, Taru."

She's trying to comfort me!

Hotaru opened her mouth to say something, anything, but her head was suddenly empty and so she closed it again.

She's really trying to comfort me!

Hotaru shrugged her shoulders and lowered her head.

Of course she does. She's my best friend after all. Right? My best friend? Is she still my best friend? Really? After all what happened?

"Well... aunt Ami didn't say on the phone that he died. Maybe there were some complications and he's now feeling better?" suggested Hotaru and her voice was very silent. She saw again the small boy standing next to the shadow in the water's reflection. Laughing. Winking at her. Turning around. And disappearing.

"Sure." Answered Chibiusa. "Surely auntie Ami exaggerated again. You know her. She makes always an elephant out of a fly. And aunt Minako is the same bad. She's getting really hectic, too. Very easily." The princess nodded, suddenly determined that this was the best solution. The only solution she would accept.

"I am sure soon there'll be the phone call from hospital telling us that everything is fine."

Hotaru gulped and remembered how Ami stood there on the dark corridor in the middle of the night. How Minako tried to comfort her. How sad Ami's sobs sounded.

"Hai. That's the explanation." Slowly Hotaru freed out of that nice embracement she wished to stay forever and turned around to look into trustful pink eyes.

I can't be mad with her.

Hotaru automatically smiled back, still holding the remote control in her hands.

She's my best friend. I don't want to lose my best friend. Not her.

The black haired girl raised her hands and stroke some pink strands out of a redden face.

Better to have a friend than no one at all...

"You take control of the video while I wrap your gift."

"Oh, don't worry, Taru, I'll take it the way it is." Grinned Chibiusa and sat down on the bed again. She grinned as Hotaru took a big bag out of her wardrobe and stared very curiously at it.

"No, no. I'll wrap it."

"Do I need a sledge hammer to open it?" The innocent look of Chibiusa's pink eyes, her sulky mouth and the blinking of her eyelashes made Hotaru who had been very angry and hurt just half an hour ago laugh. "I mean, I could ask my daddy to open it. Or uncle Sejya... but then I'd have to walk all the long way to Crystal Tokyo... and I guess your gift is so heavy that I surely can't carry it longer than three steps." More grinning and Hotaru laughed even louder.

That's why I love your so much. She's always able to cheer me up.

Shortly pink and dark eyes met.

I like to hear her laughter. I don't like to see you so sad and alone.

Chibiusa grinned and giggled. Then she put away the remote control and stripped the yellow t-shirt she was wearing. With a big sigh she pulled a huge towel out of her big bag and soon the chair and the carpet around looked even more messed.

"You'll wrap my gifts and I'll take a shower in the meantime." Chibiusa showed Hotaru cheeky her tongue while she put the towel over her head. "Guess you don't want a stunk in your bed."

Before the dark haired girl could reply anything the bathroom door was closed and she was left alone. With Chibiusa's gift. And with her own thoughts.

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"Wrapping paper with teddy bears. How cute!" Chibiusa's eyes sparkled as she looked at her personal birthday gift. It wasn't wrapped the perfect way all the other gifts she got from all those political guys in the palace and surely it wouldn't be as expensive as all the gifts she would receive the next week during the official celebrations, but for Chibiusa it was the best gift she could get. Because she got it from her best friend. From her Taru. That counted more than all riches. Because this one, she was sure, was, just like her parents gifts, bought with a lot of love.

The princess sat on Hotaru's bed, her legs crossed. Several little packages laid in her lap. Chibiusa leaned against a big pillow. She only wore her big towel and her wet hairs fell over her shoulders. Of course she had her night grown but when she came out of the bathroom to search for it, Hotaru had already been there. Reading in a book. Waiting for her. Although the dark haired girl told her that she should get ready before opening her gift Chibiusa had been too curious to hear.

"What's in there?" Chibiusa took one package and shook it. Quickly she put it down when she saw how Hotaru's eyes grew wider. How her mouth formed to a silent protest.

"I carried it the whole way home and tried to get it into this box in one peace... how can you dare!" gasped Hotaru and grabbed for the package. "Surely it's now broken." She said with a very angry voice but the sparkle in her eyes betrayed her real feelings. "You aren't worth to have such a nice porcelain doll!"

"Hey, that's my gift!" was Chibiusa suddenly very busy to get it back. But Hotaru already slipped from the bed and danced through the whole room. Holding the gift over her head. Knowing that Chibiusa was smaller than she. That she wouldn't be able to reach it there.

"Surely one arm broke the way you had to throw it!" shouted Hotaru but couldn't hold back a giggle. "No one wants a doll with a broken arm."

"I do!" Chibiusa who was sure that she didn't hear anything as she shook the box, jumped from the bed, too. Her wet hairs swirled behind her as she chased a laughing Hotaru through the whole room. Hotaru didn't see another chance and opened the door and ran along the corridor. Chibiusa was right behind her. The princess only grabbed her towel tighter and rose it a little bit so that she could ran quicker.

"That's mine! You can't take it!" she shouted and had to giggle, too. "Taruuuu!"

Hotaru only laughed louder and jumped downstairs. Taking two steps at once. On the ground she turned around and saw how Chibiusa simply took the handrail and misused it as a slide. Pink eyes grew wide as she speeded up. She screamed but the next moment she already stumbled over the carpet and crashed into the next wall.

"Hahaha, that looked funny!" laughed Hotaru and danced again, holding the package high over her head. Her dark hairs were messed and her cheeks were redden. Her dark eyes sparkled and with that bright smile on her face she was simply beautiful.

"What..." Rei walked outside the kitchen and wanted to know what was going on. But the two girls only giggled again and Hotaru ran away. Partly running. Partly jumping. Chibiusa followed her with the same style. Only that she didn't want to jump. She stumbled to often over the carpet and it was a miracle that she didn't fall to the ground.

For some seconds Rei stood there. Remembering a small child. An ill child. An always pale child. Who wasn't loved by its father. Who was ignored by its classmates. Who was hated by the whole Sailor team because she had been Mistress nine. And Sailor Saturn, the senshi of death and destruction.

Now she's a happy, young girl.

Rei smiled before she returned into the kitchen again. Playing another card game May-chan loved so much. Yuki-chan won so often.

"Catch me, if you can." Laughed Hotaru and now ran through the swimming hall. Her mother was crazy about the water and she once had been taken part at the Olympic games when she had been at Hotaru's age. So they had a huge swimming pool in their house. There were glass doors all around that could be opened so that the sun and the salty sea air could come in. The water was calm and sparkled in the light of the setting sun.

"Catch your gift, if you can, little darling!" she stopped near the rim and danced again. Showing Chibiusa her tongue.

"Course I can!" panted Chibiusa and stretched her arms towards the gift. But she couldn't reach it. "Course I can!" repeated the princess and an evil grin appeared on her face as she lowered her hands. The next moment Hotaru burst out into laughter as the smaller girl started to tickle her.

"Okay... okay... mercy..." she laughed and wanted to give Chibiusa her gift as they both slipped on the wet ground. They both screamed and Hotaru felt how Chibiusa grabbed for her arms as they fell. She for herself tried desperately to hold the gift into the air. But she couldn't react any longer. The next moment she felt already the fresh water surrounding her body. Automatically she closed her mouth and held her breath. Knowing by all the bubbles around them that Chibiusa didn't do so.

So she let go of the box and grabbed the princess instead and pulled her over the surface. Chibiusa gasped hard for breath and for a moment startled pink eyes looked into shinning black ones. Hotaru held her with strong hands over the surface. A soft smile laid on her face. With a mysterious look the princess couldn't define the taller girl looked down at her. Wet hairs pasted on Hotaru's forehead and drops of water ran through her messed dark hairs. They sparkled in the setting sun's light like diamonds.

Like a little crown...

Chibiusa gulped. Not because of the water suddenly getting into her mouth as something appeared on the surface with a quiet pop.

She looks so beautiful.

Without thinking Chibiusa wanted to say something as Hotaru suddenly pushed her away. Dark eyes grew wide while she grabbed something that swam near to them. It was the now ruined package.

"Your birthday present..." jerked the dark haired girl and swam back to the rim. There she sat down and opened it quickly. Ignoring Chibiusa shouts that she wanted to open it. That it was her gift. That it didn't matter to her how it looked now. Because it had been her fault that they fell into the swimming pool.

She's still very fast.

Chibiusa gasped hard for breath as she finally reached the rim and sat down next to her best friend.

"That's cute..." she whispered, still panting, and grabbed the wet fur before Hotaru could hide it and maybe throw it away. "That's really cute." Chibiusa stroke over dark button eyes and looked for a long time down at the puppy in her hands. It was wet, very wet, but it was still okay. It simply needed a good hair-dryer and some rest. The long ears hang wet on her knees and the tail wasn't as wild as it had surely been.

She bought it for me because my mommy thinks that I am too young for an own dog.

"Arigato, Taru." Shortly Chibiusa embraced a suddenly very quiet Hotaru and stood up. She shook her wet hairs who hang now helplessly messed into her face and wrapped her towel once again around in her body. Determined she held the toy puppy tight and went over to the staircase. There she turned around and looked frowning back at her best friend who sat still on the rim and stared silent into the water. Without really seeing it.

She likes that toy.

Hotaru sighed slightly and wrapped her arms around her freezing body.

I wanted to give her something else... something special.

Again she saw the picture of Chibiusa and Helios in her mind. Knowing that she would never be able to give that special gift to her best friend. That she should throw it away and try to forget all this rubbish.

"Taru? Are you coming? You're wet all over. Better to get some dry clothes and take a look at the other gifts." Shouted Chibiusa and winked with the puppy in her hands. "He's really loving. I am still thinking of a proper name..."

Slowly Hotaru turned her head and looked over to her grinning friend.

Forgetting? How shall I forget my feelings? How shall I forget all those years?

She stood up and went over to Chibiusa who put the wet doggy on her head and laughed happily as she saw the puzzled look in Hotaru's face.

How shall I ever forget who I am?

dbdbdb

It was again in the middle of the night that she woke up. But this time there was no one on the corridor. Creeping in the dark's safety, trying hard not to cry too loud. There was no little girl running along the corridor, screaming loudly for her mother because she had a terrible nightmare. There was no couple giggling and teasing each other around stumbling downstairs to get something to eat - although there would be breakfast in about four hours.

Nani?

Hotaru yawned and sat up. She stroke some strands out of her tired face and rubbed her eyes. Shortly she glanced over to the huge window and saw some red lines colouring the dark horizon. The sea was as calm as mostly in summer but more birds sang now. They felt that a new day was near and welcomed it.

How late...

Hotaru turned around to look at her clock and almost fell out of her bed as she felt the person next to her. Laying under her own blanket, holding a now half dry puppy tight in her arms.

Little darling?

The dark haired girl frowned and looked for some seconds confused at her best friend having obviously a great dream. Chibiusa smiled and whispered some words Hotaru didn't quite understand. They sounded a little bit like "chocolate cake" and "five more minutes, mommy". A blanket and a pillow covered the carpet and several video cassettes laid before the screen. Just next to half eaten bars and some crisps.

Oh, yeah, we celebrated her birthday. Right, she sleeps this night here.

Hotaru yawned again and glanced at the clock. It was past four in the morning and although she felt very tired the girl knew that she wouldn't get any sleep the rest of the night. Partly because Chibiusa got now her blanket and even her pillow. Taking it away right under her head seemed to be what woke Hotaru up. Partly because Hotaru knew that she had to think. There were only a few days left and still she didn't know what to do. She was very confused an unsure. That feeling grew after she had seen Chibiusa and Helios being together.

"Schus gimme that..." whispered Chibiusa and turned around. She crawled herself up in a ball, leaving Hotaru no chance to get her blanket back. Because she had wrapped herself in it. Only her feet were free and Hotaru knew that her best friend would start to freeze within the next hour.

I wish I knew a solution.

Hotaru stroke through pink strands and sighed deeply. Then she stood up and got her bathrobe to pull it over her night-gown. Then she picked carefully the other blanket up and put it over Chibiusa's legs.

She thought of Ami and Minako - as she had done so often the passed days. Knowing that aunt Minako loved the young doctor. But that Ami didn't return her feelings. She only felt deep friendship, nothing more. Minako however didn't give up. She didn't push Ami to anything, but she was the whole time there. Caring for May-chan as if she was her own daughter. Caring for Ami whenever the young doctor came very late home from work. Whenever there had been problems with very ill patients. Whenever the young doctor worked too much and got high fever. Once Minako even cancelled a concert in China just to get home and to take care for her Ami as the young doctor came home one day and had so high fever that they had to call the ambulance. During the pregnancy of May-chan, Minako gave up her career - just to be there for her Ami-chan. She wrote some songs she later published together with Sejya, but she didn't leave Tokyo the whole year.

Hotaru knew that it wasn't anything bad that two women loved each other. Her parents were women and they were very happy with each other. Hotaru loved them with all her heart and Yuki-chan adored them. The whole family accepted them the way they were and hardly anyone ever dared to say anything bad about her daddy.

For them it's normal...

Hotaru simply stood in the darkness, staring down at Chibiusa sleeping deep and tight under all those blankets. Hugging her new puppy softly.

Because they're normal...

Hotaru gulped and shivered at the memory of the shadow. Haunting her all of her life. Looking at her in almost every mirror's reflection. She smashed all them when she was a small child but she knew that it was no solution. Because then it appeared in the water's reflection, in a shop window or even in other people's clear eyes. Hotaru hated herself for being so afraid of it but she simply couldn't turn around and facing the shadow who was surely standing right behind her. Laughing over her. Showing her so many persons she knew. She loved. She never wanted to lose. And other persons she didn't know.

Like Helios' parents.

After Chibiusa told her at supper that Helios's parents were very ill she suddenly knew whom she had seen in the shop's window. Embracing each other. Looking so friendly down at her.

Because they didn't see the shadow next to them.

Hotaru crossed her arms before her chest. They trembled. Her whole body trembled while she tried to hold back the tears burning in her eyes.

I see people dying, little darling. I see that anything bad is going to happen to them. And there are times when I am not around to prevent a tragedy.

Hotaru closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Remembering when she had been very young. Maybe five or six years old. She had seen that shadow, too. On the ground of a very clean pot. Next to a friendly old man she couldn't remember of ever having seen. Two hours later the telephone rang and when her daddy entered the kitchen she had been very pale. She only nodded when Michiru looked asking. Then Michiru embraced Haruka and held her tight. Simply tight. Hotaru didn't understand that time. But later on. Because that day her grandfather, Haruka's father had died. He laid for the last years in coma and there had been no hope for him to awake again. They all knew that he would die sooner or later but nevertheless it had been a great shock to the whole family.

I've seen him dying, little darling. And I couldn't help him.

Hotaru clenched her fists and took another deep breath.

I wish I was just a normal girl. Just like you. But I am not.

The tall girl opened her eyes again. They sparkled.

That's why I can't love you, little darling. Because I am freak. Someone who sees dead people. And a strange shadow...

Hotaru raised her head as she heard a door being carefully closed. Someone crept through the corridor and sneaked into another room. The tall girl smiled sadly as she recognized Minako's familiar steps. Slipping over in Ami's sleeping room.

Surely to comfort her.

Although Ami would try to make her go. Try to declare her that she was feeling fine. That she was alright. That she could handle the situation that her first patient died. A small boy who's life could have been so full of luck. Who simply died too soon. Minako wouldn't hear of Ami's words, as she never did. She would simply take her best friend into her arms and rock her gently. Telling her all the things the young doctor did for the young boy. That she gave him hope. That she made him laugh during the past year. That he lived a lucky life, even thought it had been very short. That sometimes they couldn't chance destiny. Not even as the best and most brilliant doctor the hospital of Crystal Tokyo ever had. Then Ami would simply give up and take the comfort Minako gave. Take all her feelings - without returning them. Sometimes Hotaru saw a very sad expression in Minako's eyes. Whenever Ami rejected her again. When she told her that May-chan was her daughter and that she should go on tour instead. That she shouldn't waste her life on a normal doctor like she was.

Mostly after such an argument Minako didn't respond anything. She only took May-chan to draw a new bunny with her. She didn't look back. She didn't say a word. Because she knew that Ami wouldn't understand. She once asked for her love as far as Hotaru knew. And Ami pushed her away.

She won't let herself getting that hurt again.

Hotaru sobbed quietly, again looking down at Chibiusa whispering some other words in her sleep. It took the tall girl a long time to understand what for a strange relationship her two aunts had. She thought that all people were like her parents or how the queen and the king. Full of energy and love. But slowly, very slowly she had to realize that they weren't. Not all people were that lucky. And while being together for almost all her life with the little princess Hotaru got to know that she wasn't one of those lucky persons.

I understand auntie Mina so well.

Hotaru gulped and wiped away some tears that escaped her sparkling eyes.

I don't want to live such a life. Waiting that some day someone would come and take her away from her.

That was Minako's greatest fear as much as Hotaru could consider. That Ami would get to know a smart man and walk away with him - taking May-chan with her. Still the young doctor was too occupied with her work to meet anyone who wasn't part of her big family or a patient. But she got older and soon she would recognize that there were other interests in her life. And maybe, that she needed someone to get a brother or sister for her daughter.

And it had been Hotaru's greatest fear, too. That Chibiusa would fall in love with someone else. Just like Helios. Today Hotaru got to know that her worst nightmare got real. That there was nothing anymore left she could try. That all her hope fell apart within just a few seconds.

I can't love you, little darling. Because you don't love me in return.

Hotaru stretched her shaking hand and stroke some pink strands out of a happily smiling face. There was a small sign on the forehead. A little, golden half moon. The birth mark everyone born in the Japanese royal family got it. A little moon that showed that Chibiusa was the princess of Crystal Tokyo. That she would become a beautiful queen one day. That she would give birth to sons and daughters and carry on with the traditions and the royal heir. She would stay in public very often. And she would handle it very well. She wasn't as clumsy as her mother but she had the same loving heart. As long as she got a husband who knew a lot about politics she would be a perfect queen. Being kind to the other kings and queens and presidents. Showing them her respect and smiling at them so that they only had to like her. And to like Japan automatically, too.

She can't use a scandal.

Hotaru knew that it was very hard to be a ruler. Many people failed, even in the western states. One president fell in love with a younger woman and tried to get divorced from his wife. It had been a great scandal and he was thrown out immediately. The state sank into chaos until they elected a new president. But queen Usagi and king Mamoru loved each other so much, there was no scandal coming up. The land was safe. So were its inhabitants.

A kingdom can't afford to have a lesbian queen or a gay king.

Hotaru stepped back from the bed and bit hard on her lower lip until it hurt.

That's why I can't love you, little darling. Because you're the future queen of Crystal Tokyo.

Hotaru opened carefully her drawer, grabbed three letters and quickly left her room. She went upstairs and opened the glass door that lead out into the garden. The horizon was now all red and orange and there were the first ray of lights shinning over the rim of the world.

I see people dying.

I know that you're in love with Helios.

And I am sure that you will be a great queen one day, little darling.

Hotaru ran through the garden and soon she felt cold sand under her naked feet. Felt the soft wind playing with her slightly curly hairs she didn't blow dry the last evening. Before her was the wide sea. Wild, independent, totally free.

Give me a solution, little darling, and I'll take it.

Hotaru held the three letters tight in her hands and looked down at her in the twilight. Again tears blurred her view but she didn't allow them to fall.

Tokyo.

Kyoto.

America.

She gulped and sat down in the cold but very soft sand. She loved it to sit here. To watch the sun rise here, near the huge, endless sea. She did it very often when she had been a small child and even now she stood up in the weekends at five in the morning just to watch it. To relax a little bit. To enjoy nature's beauty. And to forget her worries.

Forget...

She knew that she had to chance her life. Somehow. To be able to look into Chibiusa's eyes again without wanting to embrace her. To hold her. To kiss her. To confess her her deep feelings. To be able to show Helios the respect he owed as future king. To be able to be happy again. Not that strangely confused. Not that angry. Not so full of hate.

I should be happy for them.

But she couldn't. She knew she could never. Not as long as she was here. Not as long as Chibiusa was so friendly to her. Not as long as Helios lived in the Crystal Palace.

I need to forget all this stuff. To look at it from a distant view.

Tokyo.

Kyoto.

America.

I need to bury all those feelings and to try to start from the beginning on.

Hotaru took the first letter and ripped it apart. She watched how the wind took the pieces and how they swirled in the growing breeze.

Kyoto.

America.

Maybe she'll never be more to me than a little sister, than a good friend, but I don't want to lose her. Never.

The second letter was destroyed under her hands and very, very carefully she put the remaining one in her bathrobe's pockets.

America.

I need to bury my love deep inside me until it stops to hurt.

Slowly Hotaru got to her feet and walked for a long time in the flat water. Enjoying the nice cold around her feet. Feeling free and wild again. As she had felt when she had been a little child. Before she understood what the shadow meant. What it brought her every time it appeared. Before her breakdown two years ago when she had to give up so many things she loved. Slowly the sun set and when it left the ocean and shone with all its powers Hotaru returned to the light house by the sea. To make breakfast. And to tell her parents that she decided to go to such a private school. And which school she had chosen.

Gomen, little darling, but I didn't know another, a better solution.

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"Are you sure that you have everything, princess?" asked Michiru for the twentieth time and ignored the groaning of her wife who had to carry all those bags and suitcases. They were very heavy. They contained all the things their daughter would need during the next term in the private school.

"Hai." said Hotaru and held her dark back bag tighter in her arms. She felt strangely empty. Although it had been her choice. She had been so sure about it that morning three weeks ago. Now she was suddenly afraid and didn't want to leave.

It's better that way.

Again she saw Helios and Chibiusa standing there in the garden and knew that she had to do it.

"Your school books, your normal clothes, your school uniform, your good clothes... did you take the nice dress we bought last week? And..." her mommy talked the whole time but one look into Michiru's pale face told Hotaru that she only talked because she didn't know what to do else. She didn't want to see her daughter leave. Nor did Haruka who didn't say anything the last days. At least nothing that could have been important. She only sat there at the set table and looked thoughtful at Hotaru while Minako and May-chan talked the whole time excitedly.

They don't want to let me go. Not really.

They had a long discussion after Hotaru told them that she really wanted to visit the private school in America. Haruka only raised her eyebrow and listened silently to what her daughter had to tell her while Michiru tried to convince her to go at least to the Kyoto's school. That was only some hours away with Haruka's style of driving their Ferrari. But America... that was almost half a day away - by plane. Thy couldn't simply visit her. Nor could she simply return.

Hotaru explained them that it was a good chance for her to improve her English. To get to know foreign students. Because there wouldn't be only American students but people from all the world. That the American doctors knew a lot and that she wanted to learn there to be prepared for university. That it was a challenge for her and that she wanted to take it.

"I have everything, mommy." Declared Hotaru but had to gulp as she watched how her daddy gave all those bags and suitcases to a young man who carried them away to her plane. The tall blonde looked very pale and didn't know what to do with her hands. So she simply put them into her pockets and looked expectantly around. Waiting for what would happen during the next minutes. Until her plane would start.

"If not, just call and we'll send it to you, princess." Michiru took a deep breath and tears sparkled in her blue eyes. But she had promised herself not to cry. It was only for one year she told herself. Hotaru would return. She was sixteen, almost seventeen. She was old enough to discover the world. To go away from her parents and to make her own way. Michiru told herself for the thousands time that she had to let her go. She loved her so much and that was why she had to let her go. Even if it broke her heart.

"'Course, mommy." Now there was a big lump in Hotaru's throat and unsure she plucked at her dark t-shirt. People hurried by. It was very busy on the airport, but the three people didn't notice it. Hotaru already said goodbye to all her relatives. Yuki-chan was at home, because she was too small for the big airport. Aunt Ami, of course, gave her a book about the English language and Minako and Sejya some CDs for her discman. Makoto made some sandwiches and Rei gave her a personal talisman. Only the royal family couldn't say goodbye. Because they had a very important meeting and weren't allowed to leave the palace yet. Hotaru was very relieved that she didn't have to see Chibiusa again before she left. Her best friend who didn't know that she left to America. Chibiusa still thought that Hotaru would go to a school in Tokyo or at least near Tokyo, somewhere in Japan.

Why didn't I tell her?

Hotaru sighed deeply and the next moment she found herself in her mommy's arms. Michiru squeezed her hard and the tall girl felt how her mommy trembled. There were now more tears in blue eyes but still the famous musician didn't cry.

A female voice told them over the loudspeaker that they should get ready to get into the plane. Some people around them hurried up and ran past them. Hotaru felt how Michiru let her very, very slowly go. Shortly she gave her a kiss on her cheek and smiled bravely at her.

"... love you..." Michiru didn't manage to say any more words. She only squeezed her daughter's icy hand again and stepped back. She knew if she didn't let go right now she wouldn't be able to do it ever.

"Love you, too, mommy." Hotaru gulped again and got more nervous as she glanced over to her daddy. Haruka stood there and only looked at her. Without saying anything. As she had done during the whole day. The past weeks she talked at least the important things but today she was simply silent. Hotaru knew that her daddy wasn't angry with her. It was only that she wasn't so good in words and she simply didn't know what to say. But now she came over to her and hugged her, too. But not as hard as her mommy. It was a very soft embrace.

Dark green eyes sparkled seriously as Haruka looked straight into her daughter's face. Seeing again the little baby of nearly half a year lying in her arms. Seeing again a cute tomboy sitting on her first mountain bike and terrifying her mother. Seeing again a cute little girl winning her first cup in swimming. Seeing again a tall girl showing cheeky her tongue towards her and laughing when she was chased by her daddy. Seeing again her daughter sitting behind the steering wheel of her formula one racer and grinning happily, making loud "broum, broum" sounds. Seeing now a grown girl, almost a woman, who stood right before her. With big dark eyes. Ready to face her future. To go her own way.

But never alone, princess. Never all alone, be sure.

"If there're any problems, Himme-chan, call us. I'll be there in ten hours."

Hotaru looked blank at her daddy, knowing that Haruka meant her words. That she would be indeed go over to America to help her. And, if necessary, to take her back. Home.

Home...

Himme-chan...

Hotaru felt how tears burned in her eyes and mumbled something that sounded like "Arigato." Then the female voice of the loudspeaker remembered the guests that it was time to get into their planes.

"Guess it's now time to leave, Himme-chan. Take care of yourself." Haruka messed her dark hairs and managed to smile.

Spread your wings, little glow worm.

"Take care of mommy, Yuki-chan and yourself, daddy." Whispered Hotaru. Then she held her back bag tighter and simply turned around. To go through the gate. And to disappear out of her parent's view. For the next months. Maybe even for the next year.

"TARU!"

She froze in motion as she heard the high voice shouting through the whole hall.

"Taru..."

It can't be. It simply can't...

Hotaru knew that Chibiusa had a very important meeting with her parents and the president of south Africa. She couldn't simply leave the Crystal Palace. She wasn't allowed to. If she did, she would be in big trouble.

"Taru... wait..."

Shortly Hotaru glanced over her shoulder and her chin dropped as she saw the pink haired girl running towards Haruka and Michiru. Her hairs were opened and messed. Surely she lost her hairpins on her run. The white, official dress she was wearing, was dirtied and her face was red. Tears were running down her cheeks. She looked shocked. Really sad.

Little darling...

Hotaru gulped. Why didn't she go back? Why didn't she cancel the whole thing and go to the Tokyo's private school instead? Why didn't she tell Chibiusa everything and wait for her answer? Why didn't she risk it? Maybe she was lucky. Maybe...

The tall girl shook her head as she saw again the picture of Chibiusa and Helios embracing each other.

You've got your boyfriend, little darling.

Hotaru gulped and saw how Chibiusa ran past her parents but was hold back from a friendly, but strict young man who wouldn't let her through. Because she didn't have a ticket.

And I've got to forget.

"Taru! Wait! Please! Please..."

The tall girl clenched her fists and simply walked away. Followed some other passengers over to the plane that would take her away from her home. Her family. Hopefully her fears, too.

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The dark car drove away. Chibiusa didn't even try to fight against her bodyguards as they forced her into the car and back to the Crystal Palace. She only cried and looked very, very angry. And hurt.

"That'll be hers..." whispered Michiru and raised her head to the cloudless sky above. A plane just started and quickly it got tinier and tinier.

They offered Chibiusa to drive her home before her bodyguards arrived but the princess only shook her head, sat down on the staircase in front of the airport and waited. With tears in her eyes. Not even Michiru could comfort her.

"She's now flying... just like a little bird..." Now, finally, Michiru could let her tears fall. Soon her face was wet and her whole body trembled. She felt how her wife embraced her and simply held her tight.

"But I know that she'll return... I know..." sobbed the famous violinist and grabbed her lover's icy hands. "Guess now I know how your mother must have felt, Ruka."

Yeah. Guess you're right, Michi-chan.

Haruka gulped but her eyes didn't leave the plane flying higher and higher. A silver line in an blue, deep sky.

That's part of being parents, too. To let the children leave some day.

But nevertheless Haruka didn't get rid of the feeling that Hotaru didn't leave voluntarily. That she wanted to stay. That she would rather visited the Tokyo's private school.

That's nonsense. She would have told you, wouldn't she? You're simply too sad to see her go away. So far away. To see your little baby finally growing up.

Haruka took a deep breath as the plane finally disappeared behind the horizon. Automatically she held her sobbing wife tighter and placed little kisses in sea green hairs.

"It's like losing a part of myself." Was all she managed to say. Michiru looked at her for a long time in silence, still tears streaming over her face. Then she nodded and took Haruka's hand. Slowly they went over to the silver Ferrari. Knowing that they would buy a huge package of writing paper.

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	3. Chapter 2: Far, far away

**Chapter two: Far, far away**

In Japan the leaves slowly changed their colours. It was in the beginning of September and autumn showed it first signs. This land was different. It was hotter and here the summer seemed to last longer. The trees were still green and Hotaru started to sweat in her t-shirt and her long, dark jeans as she left the airport. Together with other excited students. Who just arrived from all parts of the world. Hotaru could hear different languages she couldn't understand. Some of them sounded a little bit like Japanese and English, some other were completely different.

Hotaru stopped in front of the airport and let her heavy suitcase down. She couldn't remember that she put so many things into it. Her dark eyes squinted against the sun and automatically she put her sunglasses on. Birds sang high above. But it were normal birds. Nor sea birds.

I am going to miss the sea.

Hotaru gulped and sighed slightly. She knew that it were several hundred miles to the next ocean. All the water she would see during the next months would be the water of lakes or swimming pools. This was a hot country and somewhere Hotaru read that they had a lot of swimming pools. That swimming was a great hobby for the people here. Just like riding. Because they had endless fields and endless plains to ride out. From here came some of Haruka's best opponents. Because they had so many space to train with their motorbikes or their fast cars.

A woman at the age of fifty read out their names loudly to make sure that all pupils arrived safely in the United States of America. She wore a long summer dress and her hairs were put together in a knot in her neck what gave her the look of being very strict. Her hairs used to be dark. But now they were mere grey. A summer hat protected her from the sun's heat.

"Lina Zimmermann? Is Lina Zimmermann here?"

Hotaru heard names she had never heard before in her life. Not even from the movies she had watched at cinema. Together with Chibiusa.

Little darling...

For a moment she felt sad and alone. She wanted to turn around. To go back to the plane and to say the pilot that he should fly her home. That it was all a big mistake, a big misunderstanding. That she belonged to Tokyo. To Japan. To her big, lively family.

"Hotawu Tenou?" asked the woman now and plucked nervously at a grey strand that escaped her knot as no one answered. Her blue eyes sparkled behind her glasses and a soft breeze Hotaru enjoyed a little bit ran through her light green summer dress.

"Hotawu Tenou? From Tokyo, Japan? Isn't she here?"

Hotaru's eyes grew wide as she heard what should be her name. A grin formed on her mouth and she giggled without thinking about it. Then she raised her hand into the air and shouted clearly:

"Hai!"

She knew that it was too hectic right now to explain them that her name was Tenô Hotaru and not the strange word the woman called her. But later on she had to make that clear or she would suffer from endless laughing. The American accent sounded even stranger in her ears as she said Tokyo and Japan.

For some moments the woman looked puzzled, because she didn't understand what the girl with the dark clothes just said but she was there and that was all what counted. Shortly she corrected her glasses before she carried on with her list. She was now responsible for fifty people from all around the world - and from all countries from America so that she was relieved whenever someone was there who stood on the list.

"Mary Dantes?"

A girl who stood right beside Hotaru giggled now, too. Then she raised her hand and shouted with a bright grin on her face.

"Oui."

The woman looked again a little bit confused but after some seconds she hurried on and soon she had to see to her great relieve that all persons were there. No one was missing.

Thank goddess!

She declared them in a loud, slow voice that they should come to the bus who would bring them to their new home. To the private school - Abraham Lincoln school, founded in 1893. Hotaru who still had some difficulties to understand the foreign language, tried to grab all her bags and her suitcase at once and stumbled towards the bus. She wasn't the only one trying to hold balance under the enormous weight. There was excited talking and giggling around and Hotaru saw that she was the only girl from Japan. For some seconds she was sad but then she cheered up. So she had indeed to learn and practise the other language. And maybe she was lucky and no one knew that she was the daughter of a famous formula one racer and a famous violinist, knowing the queen of Japan. Because she wanted to get new friends. Real friends who liked her, not her family. Not her money.

Friends? Will I really get friends?

Hotaru frowned as she finally put all her belongings into the huge boot and settled down on a seat next to the window. To be able to have a closer look of this strange land while they would get to their new school. As far as she could understand it would take them about four hours to get there. America was a huge land and so this wasn't a distance at all.

"'ello. May I sit down?"

Hotaru turned around and stared for a long moment at the blonde girl standing next to her, looking asking down at her. It was the same girl who had giggled as the woman called her name - certainly also very wrong.

"Hai." answered Hotaru and pulled her back bag aside so that the girl could sit down. She was wearing a dark red summer dress and had bound her hairs together in a knot on her forehead. She seemed to be at Hotaru's age. Maybe a little bit younger. And she was smaller.

"'ai? Does that mean oui? I mean, yes?"

Hotaru blushed. Then she nodded.

"Gomen... I mean, sorry. That's my mother language."

"O, don't worry, guess I'll be t'e same confused during the first weeks." The girl smiled and before Hotaru could react she shook her hand. "Je suis Marie d'Antes." she explained and suddenly her name sounded different. Somehow better. Somehow it fitted better. "Je.. pardon... I am from France. And you?"

Her "you" sounded strange but Hotaru liked it immediately. Just the way she liked the small Frenchwoman next to her. She liked the smile on the slightly redden face and she liked the screaming pink dress Marie wore. It was very short and showed more than just her knees. Surely it would have looked crazy if anyone else would have worn it but for Marie it simply looked perfect.

Maybe it won't be that bad here in that school. Maybe I won't be as alone as I had feared.

"I am Tenô Hotaru and I am from Japan. Nice to meet you, Marie."

Soon the bus started its tour and Marie giggled again. She seemed to giggle a lot and her grin didn't seem to disappear from her face.

"So, t'at's your real name. 'otaru. Sounds better than 'otawu..." she giggled again while she pulled out an old book out of her handbag. Some yellowed pictures fell out and Hotaru was sure that she'd soon know more about the blonde.

"Hai, it sounds better." Hotaru smiled and looked curiously down at an old man with a long beard. He hold a wine glass in his hands.

"That's my grandfat'er. 'e loves wine."

Hotaru nodded and leaned back while she listened to Marie's stories. Feeling at least a little bit happier than she had felt at the airport. She knew that she wouldn't be total alone the following year, but still she felt deep inside an emptiness she knew that wouldn't go that easily. Maybe never.

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"This is your room."

Hotaru nodded as the old woman opened the door and gave her the key. Then she hurried on. There were other pupils who needed to get to know her place where they could stay. Hotaru blinked and gulped. Then she slipped out of her shoes and went barefoot into the room. Room? It was half of an apartment. There was a big room with three beds. To each bed belonged an own cupboard and an own desk. There was another door and as Hotaru opened it she saw a big bathroom. Almost as big as her bathroom at home. It contained a tube and also a shower.

Well, that's what a private school means.

Slowly she went over to the bed which stood right next to one of the big windows that filled the room that looked more like a ball hall. Carefully she put her bags down and opened a part of it. Fresh wind played with her hairs and she closed her eyes while she took a deep breath. Then she leaned forwards and observed how other young people came into the building. A big building. A white building. One of many buildings all around here. There was one for the female students to sleep. Another one for the male students. Another one for the sport lessons. For the biology lessons. For the art lessons. For the other lessons Hotaru didn't know yet. There was surely another hall where they would eat. Maybe a ball hall, too. There were different school yards and there were many green trees spending nice shadows. The whole school was surrounded by a green wall of bushes that was too high to look over it when you was in the school yard. But from where Hotaru stood she could see that the great plains began behind. Wide plains with no end. Endless fields that waited for the second harvest this year. Big meadows with cattle walking sleepy over the soft ground.

It's a complete other land than Japan.

Hotaru swallowed hard as the wind played with the leaves of the trees. They almost sounded like the rushes of the endless sea.

Here's no water. But endless land...

"But I wanna share my room with Caroline and Brenda!" shouted a high, shrill voice as the door was pushed opened. Hotaru raised her head and frowned as a deep blushed girl entered the room which was big enough for three persons and Hotaru knew that her second fellow student just arrived.

Red hairs, almost as red as the other girl's face, swirled through the air as the girl wanted to get back.

"They promised me that I'll stay together with my friends! I won't accept that!" she snapped as the woman who had told her to get into that room only shrugged with her shoulders. She was used to such girls and she didn't pay any more attention as she went away to get the third girl for that room.

"Incredible! To live here in that small room - together with persons I don't know!" the girl stepped around in the room, shortly observing her own bed near the door and shortly looking into the big and comfortable bathroom that was theirs. But for her it seemed to be too small.

This is half a ball hall. What does she complain for?

"And then with someone like you!" the red haired girl shook her head as she looked down at Hotaru with a disgusting look on her face. "What the hell are you? Not even wearing a normal skirt or a dress. And black... where do you come from? From China?" she sighed deeply and shook her head again. She was tall, but not as tall as Hotaru, and she was probably beautiful. She was slim but had well grown breasts she showed under her white summer dress. She wore high heels she seemed to be used to, because she didn't stumble. But something in her green eyes told Hotaru that this girl might be beautiful in her looks but not very beautiful in her character. Nevertheless Hotaru stood up and stretched her hand towards her.

"I am Tenô Hotaru." She said but the red haired girl jumped back as if she had a very serious, infectious illness.

"Tenou? What's that for a crazy name?" she squeaked and grabbed her white hand back and wanted to leave the room. But the woman stood there again. With the third girl right behind her. She only glanced at the red haired girl and crossed her arms before her chest.

"Forget it, Cindy. You'll stay here as the headmaster told me. Go and talk with him, but I am sure that he won't have any time." The woman nodded over to Hotaru who still stood in the middle of the room. She hand clenched her fists and looked a little bit angry.

"And be nice to your fellow students. Or this will be your last year at this school." With those words she left and a very familiar girl stood now on the threshold.

"'otaru!" smiled Marie and carried her own bags into the huge, comfortable room. "Isn't that a chance?"

"Chance? Hah! That's an insult! But I'll tell my father and then I'll get a better room. Be sure!" snapped the red haired girl named Cindy and walked into the bathroom. Slamming the door right behind her. Hotaru only sighed while she went back to her own bed to unpack her bags. Marie only giggled while she headed to the third, still free bed.

"Guess it's going to be funny, 'otaru." She laughed and jumped into the bed to test if it was soft and if she could misuse it for a trampoline. Satisfied she reached for her pillow and throw it over to Hotaru. She was almost knocked over in her bags and a wicked grin appeared on her face as she turned around and threw the pillow back. But it hit Cindy who just came back from the bathroom. The girl went pink again and started angrily to shout.

Hotaru and Marie only exchanged grinning glances before they burst out into laughter.

Maybe it was the right decision.

But still there was something in Hotaru's heart that let her doubt.

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"Tomorrow the real lessons will start." Marie looked around for the sugar and put a lot into her tea. She liked it to eat everything very, very sweet. Often her friends wondered how she could stay so thin when she ate so many sugar, chocolate and other candies. Her friends at home complaint often that they wanted to have her body. To eat as much as they wanted without regretting it afterwards. But the dark haired girl sitting opposite to her on the big table in the big eating hall didn't say anything about her taste. She only smiled and ate her lunch with two small sticks. She ate almost everything with those sticks. Even noodles. Marie didn't know how her friend did that. She tried it for some times during the week they already spent at Abraham Lincoln's school but she failed every time. Often she put the sticks the Japanese girl gave her away and took her fork or her spoon instead to calm down her raging stomach.

Hotaru.

Marie wasn't able to pronounce the H in her new friend's name but Hotaru didn't correct her. She simply accepted it, because Marie didn't do it on purpose. The French girl liked the taller girl immediately. Hotaru was always friendly, helped her when she didn't understand the foreign language. They went together to the library to get books for their new classes they would take part during the next term. Hotaru could be very lively and funny. To throw their pillows through the whole room could be really funny. Because Hotaru often forgot that she was in a foreign country and started to tease her around in Japanese. The way Marie started to reply in French. Often they laughed about it and tried to learn each other the strange language. Gomen for sorry, hai for yes. Non for no and salut for hello. Simple examples but they liked it to use them and to confuse other people.

Only Cindy doesn't like it.

Cindy was the other girl they shared their room with. She was the daughter of a famous politician and thought that she was someone special. That she was someone better than her fellow students and complaint the whole week that she couldn't be in the same room her best friends, Caroline and Brenda, were. But the headmaster was strict. He said that he had his orders and so she had to stay together with the two weirdoes as she called Marie and especially Hotaru the whole time.

Strange, she's so wild sometimes, why doesn't she defend herself when Cindy is so mean to her?

On the whole Hotaru could be very calm. There were moments when she put her headphones over her ears, took a book and disappeared into a world only she knew. She could spent hours this way. Without noticing anything that was going around her.

Maybe that's her way to learn. Or to live with her homesickness.

Marie missed her homeland a lot. Her family. Her friends. But she wanted to become a good vet one day and she knew that this year in this private school would be very good for her and for her future.

Does Hotaru want to become a vet, too? Or a normal doctor? Or an artist?

Somehow the black haired girl didn't tell her yet. But she read a lot of books about illnesses. Especially children's ones. Especially about heart attacks. So that Marie could guess that she wanted to be a children's doctor one day. And that this was her reason for being here.

"Oh, don't worry, Marie. They won't rip off your head." Laughed Hotaru and clicked with her sticks. Marie smiled back and nodded.

"But nevertheless I am nervous about it."

"Hey, you know so much about animals, especially horses, Marie, you can't fail."

"Thanks for your compliment, 'otaru."

At that sentence Hotaru lowered her head and blushed slightly. She continued to eat and didn't look up again.

Strangely, why does she blush when I make a compliment? Isn't she used to it?

Marie frowned but reached again for the sugar. Her tea wasn't sweet enough yet. That was another point Marie didn't understand. Hotaru's family. The dark haired girl knew everything about Marie's family in France. About her grandpa with his wine. About her mother having a farm for horses. About her brother living in south Africa and studying there. But Hotaru didn't say a word about her family. She only put a picture on her desk. It showed her with a blonde man who had put her arms around her shoulders. A little girl of maybe six years with the same blonde hairs grabbed for Hotaru's left hand. She smiled. Just like a beautiful young woman with sea green hairs.

Her parents?

Her sister?

Her family?

Marie couldn't see any similarities. But deep love in dark green and blue eyes.

Maybe she misses them so much that she doesn't want to talk about them yet.

"Hey, you weirdoes!" Cindy passed by. To go to her best friends: Brenda and Caroline who were the as beautiful as the red haired girl. Who had the same dark character.

"O, z'ut up!" snapped Marie and rolled her eyes as Cindy made some jokes about her strange pronunciation. She tried to improve it, but it was so hard. She knew it would take her some more weeks, maybe even weeks until she was able to say the right words with the right pronunciation. But Cindy didn't have the right to make a fool out of her.

"Hey, cloth. Why do you always wear such dark dresses? You look ugly!"

Hotaru didn't look up. She continued to eat her lunch and didn't react.

She's like Akane. She's not important. Not at all.

The red haired girl only laughed wickedly and walked away. Over to two laughing girls. Some teachers looked strict but no one reacted. As long as Hotaru didn't complain or even defend herself no one would react.

"Why don't you tell 'er t'at..." Marie put the sugar determinedly away and wanted to ask Hotaru why she didn't tell Cindy to stop as a older boy, he seemed to be in one of the highest classes, stepped next to them. He hold some letters on his hands and looked asking down at them.

"Hotawu..."

Hotaru rolled her eyes as she heard again the strange words that should be her name and waved her hand.

"Hai, that's me."

The boy nodded and handled her a big envelope. Then he hurried on to give the other letters to the surely waiting students.

"A letter?" Marie put her folk away and leaned over to her new friend. Curiously she looked at the strange signs on the envelope and the neat writing in English. From a person who wasn't used to write in a foreign language.

That's daddy's handwriting...

Hotaru gulped as she simply took her knife and opened the letter.

"Is it from your 'ome?" Marie asked again and leaned even further towards Hotaru. She squinted as she saw the strange signs that covered the sheet and frowned. "Is t'at Japanese? That looks funny."

"Hai, it is..." answered Hotaru and her hands shook slightly while she enfolded the letter. It was a big letter. The biggest she ever got.

"I wish my parents would write t'at soon. But mostly t'ey don't 'ave time or simply not t'e mood. They aren't big writers." Smiled Marie and took her folk again. "Guess they'll send me videos instead. Zowing 'ow my grandpa makes 'is wine."

Marie continued to talk about her family again but this time Hotaru didn't listen. She looked down at the well known writing. Of her daddy and her mommy. They both seemed to have written that letter together. And it seemed as if they fought hard with each other because every one wanted to write the same time the other one wanted. So there were here and there words written by her daddy between her mommy's words and the other way round.

Mommy...

Daddy...

Hotaru gulped again while she read the first letter she got from them. They wrote it the same day she left Japan for the next months. The letter needed one week to make it over the big ocean that separated them now. The big ocean and the wide land called America. Suddenly Hotaru knew that this letter wouldn't be the only letter she would receive from her parents. She wasn't sure if she should be happy about that knowledge. Or really sad...

They wrote that they wanted to take part in the school festival that would take part at Mayumi's school. Miyuki's future school. Hotaru's normal school.

Little darling's school...

Hotaru put her sticks away. Suddenly she didn't have any hunger at all. Too well she remembered how they once had played a game at that school. A theatre game. Peter Pan. Hotaru had been Peter Pan and somehow they decided that Chibiusa should take the part of Wendy.

We had been the perfect couple...

Again Hotaru saw Helios and Chibiusa under the tree. Embracing each other. Surely kissing each other after she ran away.

No, we've never been the perfect couple. But they are. Now...

Hotaru shook her head and stood up with a sudden. Her chair shook but didn't crash as she simply turned around and left the hall as quickly as she could. Not hearing Marie's asking words. She only wanted to be alone. To remember why she left Japan so quickly. Why she decided to spent this year in the United States and not in Tokyo or Kyoto.

I wonder what they'll do this year on the school festival.

Hotaru ran over the school yard, feeling the wind playing with her shoulder long hairs. Feeling tears burning in her eyes.

I wonder if it had been the right decision.

She reached her room and locked herself as she recognized that Cindy wasn't around. She put her headphones over her ears and listened again to the soft piano music that soon filled her world.

Wonder if I'll ever be able to forget her. To bury my love for her. To return with less pain in my heart.

One day...

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"Will your mother come this year?"

"Oh, surely not. She has never time."

"Do you have a mother?"

"Or are you an orphan?"

"Hai, always your crazy aunt and uncle come. With that other girl."

"Hai."

"Surely you don't even have proper parents."

She shook her head and tried to put her hands over her ears.

"Of course I have a mommy." Tears sparkled in her eyes. Why were her fellow pupils so mean? Why weren't they her friends? Why did they have to torture her that much? "Of course..."

"And a daddy? Do you have a daddy?"

"Daddy?" Her blue eyes grew wide and she wondered for a brief moment what they meant. Then she remembered her best friend's parents. The person she called so loving daddy. At that moment she knew that she had such a daddy, too.

"Of course I have a daddy!" she cried and wanted to escape. But they didn't want to let her go. They laughed so wicked, held her tight. She didn't want to look at them again. Never again. She only wanted to run away. To hide in those soft arms that belonged to the person who surely was her daddy. Who loved her the way her mommy loved her. Who was always there for her.

"Then prove it this year. Prove it tomorrow!"

Mayumi only nodded.

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"Next year I'll go to that school, too." Declared Miyuki and there was pride in her voice. She sat on her daddy's shoulders and showed over to the white school building as they entered the school yard. It was Saturday and it was a bright autumn day. The sun was shinning from a cloudless sky and the trees sparkled in all colours of this season: Brown, a dark green, red and yellow. Many people and children were all around the school and inside. It was a great event for the school and of course Haruka and Michiru visited it, too. Not only because it was the school Hotaru took part at and not only because it was the future school of their younger daughter, but because of May-chan who begged them a week ago to come. Not only them but also Minako and of course her mother, Ami. Ami, the young doctor who didn't have any time this year, too.

Still Mayumi didn't know about that. Ami called them up just half an hour ago that there was an emergency and that she couldn't leave the hospital in time. That she tried it to come to her daughter's school festival but that she couldn't guarantee it.

Minako only growled that her daughter wasn't an emergency, put on her best summer dress and followed them. Still very angry about her best friend.

School festival...

Haruka looked around at all the young children running around and sighed slightly. She could remember too well another school festival. With an very excited little Hotaru. Who had played in the school theatre. The main role. Together with Chibiusa. As Peter Pan and Wendy.

They did such a great job. The whole school talked the next weeks only about that performance.

But this year there was no dark haired girl around. This year she was missing. This year Haruka felt strangely empty and sad. Not even Yuki-chan sitting on her shoulders could cheer her up.

It's not only today.

Haruka remembered to well all those moments the past weeks when she missed her Himme-chan. Almost every Sunday morning she made fresh rolls and more than once she stumbled with a plate on her hands in Hotaru's room to wake her up. Just to stare for a long time disappointed at the empty bed, suddenly remembering again that her daughter wasn't at home. That she was far, far away.

Too far.

More than once Haruka called up the girls when she wanted to out with them. To the cinema. To eat an ice cream. Just to go along the beach. Playing with a soft ball. Sometimes together with Michiru. Sometimes together with Minako. Sometimes alone with them. More than once she had not only called for May-chan and Yuki-chan but also for Himme-chan. Impatiently she had opened the door to remember Hotaru that they wouldn't wait the whole day for her as she remembered again that her daughter wasn't around. That she wouldn't come with them to that crazy anime they showed at cinema.

I am not the only one missing her.

Haruka looked over to Michiru who smiled at a little boy who wanted to sell her some of his self made cookies. She was a little bit pale, too. And as tired as Haruka. Not only once Michiru made Hotaru's favourite food. Just to remember when it was ready that Hotaru wouldn't eat it. More than once she bought a nice dark dress she was sure that her older daughter would like it. Just to look into the empty room and knowing that she would need to send it if Hotaru should wear it this year.

We're all crazy about her.

Neither Haruka nor Michiru did let the other notice it. Especially not Yuki-chan who missed her big sister even more than her parents did. Often she sat in the evening at the living-room table. The card play next to her. Normally May-chan could cheer her up and play with her. But there were also some evening when Yuki-chan simply started to cry and declared that she only wanted to play with her sister.

We shouldn't be so selfish. Surely she's happy in America. Surely she found new friends there. Surely she enjoys the lessons there and the foreign language.

Haruka sighed slightly and smiled up at her daughter as Yuki-chan pulled on her hairs and behaved as if her daddy was a big, lively horse.

But she didn't write one letter until now.

"I can't wait to go to school." Declared Miyuki and made an important face. Then she showed over to the stone building and explained what Hotaru and Chibiusa already told her about that old but very popular school. "I wanna learn to write so that I can write Hotaru a letter." Suddenly her voice was sad and Haruka tickled her a bit to see her laugh again.

Almost three weeks now and no letter from her so far. Didn't she have any time? Is the American post so lazy? Or am I simply too impatient?

"I am going to kill her. I am sure that this evening I'll kill her." Growled Minako and looked angrily on her own feet. The whole day her mood wasn't the best and the longer she saw all the happy children around she got more and more angry about the young doctor. Haruka was intelligent enough not to say word. This wasn't her business. All she could do was to go to that school festival and to cheer May-chan up.

"Those cookies are delicious." Giggled Michiru and the next moment Haruka's mouth was full with something that tasted like chocolate. Yuki-chan opened her mouth begging and smacked as her mommy gave her some, too.

"The little boy sold them. But I am sure that his mother helped him to make them. He looks too young to make them all alone. Or he has a skill full granny."

"Oh, Michi-chan, remember all those school festivals when my mommy had to bake cookies for us." Smiled Haruka in memory and gave her daughter another cookie.

"Hai. And everyone was afraid of being poisoned when they got to know who sold them. Until I told them that your mommy and I made them."

"I still don't understand why they were so afraid of my cooking."

"Oh, they simply didn't want to end in hospital."

"Maybe you're right, Michi-chan."

They both laughed while Minako got more and more angry from second to second. She clenched her fists. Still she didn't see a sign of her best friend's daughter.

Of course it's again my task to tell her that her busy mother doesn't have time for her one and only child!

She heard Haruka and Michiru laugh and to tease Yuki-chan around.

They're better parents! Even if they have their own obligations! Even if they still do concerts or car races, they're always there for their children! And for the children of the others! But Ami... she NEVER has any time!

"What do you want to do first, Yuki-chan?"

"I've heard that they want to give a new play this year. About a prince who falls in love with a beautiful princess. But he's a beast and so he's afraid of her and..." started Yuki-chan to tell her parents with shimmering eyes.

I wish I could see May-chan the same happy... today...

"I guess I am looking for my little honey." Without another word Minako grabbed her long skirt and swirled around. Disappeared out of sight between all the other people. Parents, children, sisters, brothers, grandparents. All were happy. All laughed and talked and ate. All were pleased that the weather was so nice. Bright sunshine from an cloudless sky. The whole school seemed to be covered with a coloured dress because of all the tress standing around. There were little shops outside and inside the building. And there was the big stage near the entrance door. Where they would surely performance the play.

Beauty and beast.

Minako remembered a time when she liked that story a lot, too. When they performed it at school, too. With Usagi as a very, very clumsy beauty and Rei as a very, very impatient beast. Minako played that candle. Of course everything should look real and she almost burned her hairs in the flames.

Ami didn't want to play a part.

The silent senshi wrote the script and learned hard with them until even Usagi remembered her lines. It had been a great success. The whole school liked their performance a lot and Makoto as crazy inventor and father of Usagi beat them all.

Minako stopped for some seconds in front of the stage and looked thoughtful up to the coloured paper, surely representing the prince's shinning castle.

I wish those times would have never passed by.

Too well Minako remembered their happy days back at school. With Usagi forgetting more than once her homework. Almost every morning Minako didn't hear her alarm clock and often Usagi and she stood in the corridor, with a bucket full water in their hands. Chatting the whole time. Chatting and laughing. Again the love senshi saw Ami's serious face before her eyes. Whenever she told them that they should learn. That they shouldn't make fun out of their punishment. But the same time she had shared her lunch with them who stood for the whole break on the corridor again, because they couldn't answer a simple question during class.

My Ami-chan...

Almost every evening they spent in Rei's temple to learn for hard tests. To go pass those hard exams. To go together to the same school. To the same class. And later on even to the same university. It had always been Ami who forced them to learn. Who explained it again and again. Even to Minako who already understood the meaning but wanted to spent more time with the water senshi. Who spent long nights at the Mizuno's home. To learn some English vocabulary but secretly only wanting to be together with her Ami. To listen to her. To watch her making tea. To touch her hand time by time.

Where have all those days gone?

Now Ami was a successful doctor. A busy doctor. And a mommy. Minako gulped and squinted as she looked right into the sun. Ami lost all her dreams during her studies. Sure she became a doctor but somehow... somehow it was different now. The water senshi used to talk about her profession with sparkling eyes. For her it had been vocation. And now? Now she was tired when she came home. She was often sad when she couldn't help a child the way she wanted to. She didn't believe in miracles any longer. As she didn't believe in love any longer.

May-chan's father must have hurt her a lot.

Minako was very curious but she gave up some years ago. Ami didn't want to say anything about her daughter's father. Whenever she was asked she said that she loved May-chan and that she was happy to have her. But that was all. Never a nice word, not even a bad word about him. The man who left her pregnant. Who obviously ran away from the responsibility. Probably Ami didn't even know where he was right now. Surly she wasn't even interested in him any longer.

Minako remembered too well how shocked she had been when Ami confessed them that she awaited a child. Of course Usagi and the other had been crazy and congratulated her. Haruka and Michiru offered her all the help they could give and even more. Only Minako kept very silent that day. Because for her a whole world broke apart. Ami was pregnant - which meant that she had have a lover. A male lover. That there would never be a chance for them to live a life together. That very day Minako's greatest dream died. And silently she decided that she would be there for Ami and her child. For all times. As best friend. If she couldn't do it as lover and parent.

Better this way than being pushed away.

Minako blinked and sighed deeply.

Is it really better?

"Is that your mommy?"

"I can't believe that she actually appeared."

"Hai, after she missed all the other festivals."

"Hai."

"Then you aren't a liar, Mayumi."

"I am happy for you. She looks beautiful, Mayumi."

Minako frowned and turned around as she heard different excited children's voices. And stared directly into tear filled blue eyes. As blue as a young doctor's eyes. There was a confused expression on Mayumi's face. A searching one. And a real sad one as she understood that her mother wasn't here. As she was away every year.

"So, you're Mayumi's mother? I am pleased to meet you." Suddenly a young woman, maybe only one or two years older than Minako, stepped before her and shook her hand. "I am your daughter's teacher. I am Yakoo and you have a really nice daughter."

For some seconds Minako didn't know what to reply. She only frowned and shook May-chan's teacher's hand in return. Still staring into tear filled eyes. Seeing the silent beg in them.

I'll always be there for you, little honey.

Again she remembered that day over nine years ago now. When she was in hospital with a hard breathing Ami who laid in labour pains. Haruka and Michiru brought them in hospital but they weren't family and had to wait outside. Minako wasn't family either but Ami insisted that she had to come with her. That she wouldn't survive that birth all alone. That she only had the Sailor Team, because Ami's father was far away, somewhere in Europe or even in Africa. And Mizuno-san, Ami's mother, died shortly before she left school. So there had only been Minako, her best friend since that day she discovered that she was a senshi, there for her. That very day after another long hour a little girl was born. Minako would never forget that moment when she first held that little bundle in her shaking arms. A little girl that looked like Ami: with blue eyes and fluffy, blue hairs. The most beautiful child Minako had ever seen before in her life.

I love you, little one. I love you the way your mommy does. Even if Ami will never understand.

But one look into those blue eyes told Minako that May-chan did.

"Hai, I am very proud of her." Said Minako and went over to her best friend's daughter and embraced her. "I am sorry that I couldn't come earlier, little honey, but aunt Michiru simply couldn't decide which dress she should take." She giggled and felt how the little girl embraced her, too.

"No problem, mommy." Whispered May-chan and Minako gulped. She didn't know what to respond. So she only held the girl she loved like a daughter tighter while the teacher gave some last instructions about the play.

"Mizuno-san?"

At last they separated and now May-chan smiled happily. There were no tears left in her eyes. Only joy.

"Hai?"

"Could you please be so kind and help us? One of the costume isn't ready yet and a girl forgot her crown." Asked the teacher who looked very busy, now. It was her task to make this performance unforgettable for the pupils. And she was very hectic to make it successful.

"No problem." Minako took automatically May-chan's hand and together they went over to the group of excited looking children. "I am very good in performances."

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"That's delicious." Wind played with blonde hairs and blue eyes sparkled satisfied. "That's the best chocolate cake I ever ate." The queen smiled with a brown mouth at her daughter who didn't smile back.

"Hai, because you didn't make it. Aunt Makoto made it." Snapped Chibiusa and went back behind the table to serve another parents. It was her task together with some other pupils to ran the café inside the building. They were allowed to use the school's kitchen and of course Makoto seemed to be every where. She took care for the coffee, for the tea, for the milk. For the cakes and the cookies. For the pies. For dirtied tables and for guests who came to eat and to drink a little bit. Her brown eyes sparkled and the famous cook was in her element. The principal thanked her more than once that she offered her help - for free. She only shook her head and said that this was the school she went to in her childhood. That it was naturally to help. Giggling she declared that the perpetrator always returned back to the scene of crime.

"You always make the best cakes, Mako-chan." Smiled the queen, ignoring her daughter's rough behaviour. Since Hotaru went to America Chibiusa behaved that way. Usagi was sure that her daughter simply missed her best friend and let her in peace. She remembered too well the time her husband had spent one year in the United States, too. To study. And how sad she had been.

"Arigato, Usagi." Beamed Makoto and clapped in her hands as she saw the next guests entering the kitchen. The windows were wide opened and everywhere where flowers on the tables. It looked the ways she wanted it and she was simply happy.

"Hi Kakyuu, hi Sejya." Makoto came nearer and stroke over fluffy dark hairs. "Hi, little Tami-chan." She whispered and her smile grew wide as little hands grabbed for brown stands.

"Hello. What are you doing here? Already choosing for your son's future school?" teased Mamoru as they sat down.

"Maybe." Laughed Kakyuu and held her child a little bit tighter. Tamahoe grabbed now for her red strands and looked like the happiest baby on earth. His father tickled him a little bit and he laughed out loud.

"May-chan told us that she'll play the bad guy in "Beauty and the beast" that starts in about half an hour. Of course we don't want to miss it." Declared Sejya and thanked Makoto as she gave him his cup of coffee. Since the birth of his son he didn't sleep much at night and was tired all day. A coffee was the best for him so shortly before the lunch.

"Oh, that's only one reason. I am sure you want to argue again with Haruka." Kakyuu smiled knowing as she saw her husband's darkened face. Then she leaned forward and kissed his cheek and begged him silently for forgiveness. Sejya grinned and kissed her back.

"Don't you want to give your guests a cake, too?" asked Usagi and Chibiusa rolled her eyes. The next moment the queen was holding a tea towel in her hands and stared surprised into raging pink eyes.

"If that's so important for you, then do it yourself! I am fed up!" she screamed suddenly and turned around and ran away. Usagi raised asking her eyebrows but Mamoru only shook his head. He felt that his daughter wanted to be alone and that they should accept that.

They're all bakas!

Chibiusa jumped downstairs and ran out into the schoolyard. She only wanted to leave this school. To go to her secret place near the beach and to sit down. To forget her nightmares. To forget the pain inside her heart. To forget how disappointed she was. They all reacted as if nothing happened. They all behaved as if it was normal that one part of their family was so damn far, far away. They all were so blind!

Taru went away and they all do as if that's normal!

Chibiusa clenched her fists and simply ran outside the school yard. Right over the street. Her head bowed. She didn't want to see anyone any longer.

Why did she chose that private school?

It was a question no one seemed to be able to answer her. A question no one seemed to ask.

Why did she go from one day to another to America?

Chibiusa felt tears burning in her eyes. Again. She cried a lot the past weeks. Mostly because of anger and disappointment. Hotaru and she had shared everything in their childhood. Every secret, every thought. It wasn't Hotaru's behaviour to disappear from one day to another. To go away - without saying her best friend a word that she was about to leave for such a long time.

Is she still my best friend?

There was no letter. Not even a single, a short one telling Chibiusa how Hotaru lived in America. If she found any friends there. How she liked the lessons there. If she was able to learn something that would make a great doctor out of her one day.

Not even a post card showing me something of that big land beyond the big ocean...

Chibiusa felt rejected and alone. Misunderstood. Not even her parents could help her. And the longer Hotaru was away, the longer she was alone in Japan without any sign from her so called best friend she felt angrier and angrier.

When she'll come home I'll kick right into her ass.

Chibiusa felt the first tears running down her cheeks. She knew too well that she wouldn't beat Hotaru. She would embrace her and hold her tight. And tell her that she had missed her best friend.

Taru, I want you to be here. Not there!

"Little one?"

She winced hard as someone grabbed softly her right arm and pulled her around. Shortly she looked into Helios' face and swallowed hard.

"Hey, today's the school festival. Why aren't you there? May-chan's performance starts every moment." Helios smiled understanding at her and took her hand and slowly guided her back to school. He was the only one who could handle her these days and he knew it. Whenever she freaked out, whenever she yelled at other people, he was the one who could calm her down. Who could still talk to her. Who could be her best friend. Although he wasn't like Hotaru. Not at all.

Taru, I miss you so much.

"Come on, Chibiusa, let's go back. Surely mommy and daddy are already waiting for us."

Chibiusa nodded and simply followed him. Still feeling deeply hurt inside herself.

"Maybe you should write her a letter. I am sure she'll answer you, Chibiusa." Smiled Helios while they passed the big door that guided them into the school yard.

"Maybe..." The princess didn't ask if Helios could read her mind. But that idea didn't let her go during the whole afternoon. And for the first time in her life always lively and chatting Chibiusa didn't know what to write.

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"Auntie Michiru and Haruka are already at home." Declared Minako as she and May-chan walked along the bending road near the beach. Michiru got a bad headache and so they decided to go home earlier. Of course Minako had her phone and Haruka would have driven them home whenever she would have called her up. But May-chan looked happy and Minako wanted this afternoon never to end.

"That's fine. I love it here near the beach." May-chan ran a little bit. Then she returned and grabbed Minako's hand again. For a long time they walked silently next to each other. Each of them thinking her own thoughts. Remembering their own personal memories of this day.

"It was great how you saved the dress of Lina-chan. Her mommy is ill and so she couldn't finish it in time." There was proud in May-chan's voice and suddenly Minako felt herself like an important hero. So really happy she had never felt in her life before. "And how you helped Hashitzou to remember his lines. They all liked you. That was great." The girl smiled satisfied and looked out to the sea. The sun was slowly setting and covered the whole beach in a warm red light.

"You was the best bad guy I've ever seen. Garcon who wanted to kill the beast." Minako squeezed the little hand that laid trustfully in her own on slightly. "All people liked your performance a lot. I am sure your teacher was the happiest teacher on this world."

There was silence for another while.

"Auntie Mina?" asked Mayumi after another long time and blushed slightly.

"Hai?"

"Arigato." Whispered the girl and stroke some strands of her long, blue hairs behind her ears. "Arigato that you behaved today like my mommy. I mean... I know that she never has time and that she has a very important job... but... I mean..."

Minako blinked. Then she pulled the girl in her arms and stroke tenderly over blue strands.

"You know that your mommy loves you." She whispered and kissed a burning forehead. "And I love you, too, my little honey."

Mayumi smiled and embraced her in return.

"I know, Mina-mommy. I know."

Mina-mommy.

Minako gulped hard. It was the greatest praise she ever received in her life. This honour was greater than every price she got with her music. With her movies. With her powers as a Sailor senshi.

She called me mommy.

That thought warmed her heart and suddenly tears burned in her eyes as well.

"Mina, May-chan."

They separated as they heard the tired, exhausted voice behind them. A young woman came running towards them. She held a black bag tight in her arms and looked like someone who worked the whole day Who worked a little bit too long.

"I am so sorry, my darling." Ami embraced her daughter. "But there was a little boy who gulped a marble and he almost died. I simply couldn't go."

"Don't worry, mommy. Mina helped me with the performance and everyone liked it a lot." Said May-chan and grabbed her mommy's right hand. Shortly Ami and Minako exchanged glances. Ami shrugged helpless her shoulders while Minako smiled defeated. She knew that she would never be able to be angry with her Ami. But she knew that she would care that the young doctor got enough sleep the next night, enough to eat for breakfast and that she wouldn't go to work on Sunday when she would have free. That she would do something with her daughter. To make it up for today.

"And Yuki-chan told me afterwards that she liked the monster better than the prince..." May-chan chuckled and grabbed Mina's left hand. Slowly they went along the beach while the girl talked the whole time. Telling her real mommy what happened the whole day at the school festival. And saying more than once that her other mommy helped her a lot.

The sun set and in it's red light they looked like a small, happy family.

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Michiru crept under the blanket and felt how her wife embraced her. For a long time they shared a loving kiss.

"Good night, honey." Whispered Michiru and cuddled deeper into her lover's strong arms. "It had been a great day and I am happy that May-chan had so much fun."

"Hai." Haruka gulped and stroke loving through sea green strands. For a long time they lied there in silence. Didn't dare to say a word. To say aloud what moved their hearts.

"Someone's missing." Admitted Michiru very quietly after another long time they watched the ceiling. Unable to find any sleep.

"Hai." Was all Haruka replied before she pulled her Michi-chan tighter and buried her face in those sea green curls. "Hai..."

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"Your mother is really a great person."

"Hai, how she repaired the costume."

"And how she helped Hashitzou to remember his lines."

"Hai, she was even as excited as teacher Yakoo about our performance."

"She looked so proud of you."

"I am sure she loves you a lot."

The little girl smiled proudly at her friends and the other pupils and nodded happily.

"Hai, and I love her a lot, too." She said and was hugged by another girl who looked at her begging with her big brown eyes.

"She did so many photos. Please, bring them with you when they're ready, okay, May-chan?"

Mayumi laughed and nodded.

"I am sorry that I called you a liar. You mother is simply wonderful. Can we be friends, Mayumi-chan?"

The girl nodded again and her blue hairs fell over her shoulders as she shook different hands, looked into different smiling faces.

I love my Mina-mommy the same way I love my mommy.

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Swimming...

Hotaru looked into the pure water and saw her pale reflection. She wore her dark swimming suit and had put her hairs together in a knot in her neck. Carefully she touched the surface which started to shook. The water was pleasant warm.

"Are you able to swim, Hotawu?" laughed Cindy and pushed her as she passed by. Hotaru almost lost her balance but could hold herself back in the last moment. She didn't want to jump into the water before the teacher didn't allow it. Before the teacher didn't tell her what she was allowed to do after she read her doctor's report.

The tall girl turned her head and saw how Cindy who wore a white bikini walked over to her best friends and started excitedly to chat with them.

The tower.

Hotaru gulped and looked up to the tower. It was very high. Almost as high as the big swimming hall. Swimming was kind of a national sport for this state of America and it was duty for all students to attempt some hours of their sport lessons here. For Hotaru it were the only hours. She wasn't allowed to do more than two lessons in sport per week.

The tower.

Again she heard the yelling of the people. Again she saw her parents standing at the rim of the swimming pool, staring up to her with sparkling eyes. So proud looking faces. Again she heard the soft violin music in her ears. Again she felt the excitement in her body, in her soul. Again she felt how she flew. Right through the air. How she dove into the fresh water. How she turned from a strong eagle into a quick dolphin.

Until that day two years ago...

"'ello, 'otaru." Marie went on her knees next to her and grinned brightly at her, touching the surface, too. "O, t'at's cold." She said and looked with frightened eyes over to the tower. She wasn't very keen on swimming as she confessed to her new friend. But she loved riding. The rest of her sport hours she wanted to spend on a farm near the Lincoln's school. Where they had a lot of horses. Hotaru admired her silently because she didn't know how to ride nor was she very keen on being dependent by such a big, strong animal.

"'ope we don't 'ave to jump." Whispered Marie and gulped as the teacher, a young but very energetic looking woman with short, brown hairs appeared.

"Hotaru?" she asked and the tall girl raised surprised her eyebrows. It was the first time that someone besides Marie who only had some problems with the H pronounced her name the right way.

"Hai?" Hotaru blushed and went over to the teacher. Ignoring the whispers that went through the other pupils staying next to the rim, too. "Yes, Miss Lisa?" It was normal that the pupils called their teachers by their first names. It was kind of a spirit on this school. They believed that teachers and pupils could get better friends by doing so. Hotaru didn't mind. She only couldn't leave the Miss aside. And after she explained most of the teachers that this was Japanese traditions they let her do so. As long as she used the first name.

"I read the report." There was something in teacher Lisa's eyes Hotaru didn't like at all. It was sympathy and a little bit of sorrow. A mixture the tall girl couldn't bare any longer. She had seen it too often during the past two years. Especially during the months she had to spent in hospital.

"I think it's the best for you to swim a little bit in the pool while we do our lessons. Take a swimming ring and stop whenever you feel tired, okay, Hotaru?"

"Hai... I mean, yes, Miss Lisa."

Another pity smile and the teacher concentrated on the other students. Of course they all had to jump from the tower. But not from the highest level, but from the lowest one. Hotaru saw how Marie got pale and wished her silently luck while she took the swimming ring and glided slowly into the water. It was the worst humiliation in her young sport life. But she knew that it wasn't teacher Lisa's fault. She only did what the doctor told her. She only wanted her pupils to be healthy and happy. Although Hotaru knew that she would never be happy again. Not in the water which gave her so much during the first fourteen years of her life. Which took so much away from her during the past two years.

"That's unfair." Shouted Cindy suddenly through the whole swimming hall. "Why does that spoiled brat only crawl in the water while I have to jump from the tower? I don't want to jump! And she only watches us so lazily!" Cindy's face was red dark and she looked really, really angry.

"Cindy, do what you're told. Hotaru has her reasons." Declared teacher Lisa in a strict voice and showed Marie that she was the next to jump.

"But that's unfair, Lisa! I want to swim, too. Not to jump. Why is she treated different? She isn't anyone special! She's only an exchange student from Japan. Or is it normal for Japanese people to hide before the big tasks? Are they all cowards?"

"Cindy!"

"Z'ut up, silly one!" now Marie looked very angry, too.

"But it's right. If she doesn't jump, she's a coward!"

"Cindy!"

Hotaru rolled her eyes and slowly swam over to the rim. She put the swimming ring down, grabbed her towel and without looking back she left the swimming hall. Feeling already exhausted. Knowing that it was high time for her to take her daily medicine.

Coward! Me!

Tears burned in her eyes while she changed her clothes and grabbed her book about medical incidents she wanted to read the whole day. To be prepared for the next biology lesson they would have in two days.

Coward?

Hotaru trembled as she grabbed her bag and went out into the burning sun shinning from an endless sky. Shortly she looked around and sat down under a huge tree. Her most favourite place. Mostly Marie joined her and talked the whole time.

Coward?

The tall girl opened her book and stared blind at the lines and the pictures.

I've been the junior champion of Japan in high diving!

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"T'at's simply not my sport."

Half an hour later Marie sat down next to her. Her hairs were still wet and her face was still unnatural pale. But there was already a bright grin on her face.

"I am more a trick rider. T'at tower is simply too 'igh for me." She reached for Hotaru and messed her hairs. "And don't you dare to 'ear of w'at t'at stupid girl says, 'otaru. Maybe you aren't allowed to jump, but you 'ave ot'er qualities."

Marie bowed over Hotaru's shoulder and read for some seconds silently what her best friend read.

"Can you 'elp me?" she asked and pointed at a picture inside the book. "I never understood t'at."

Hotaru only nodded and started to speak. Grateful that Marie wanted to cheer her up. Thankful that the other girl gave her the feeling that she was still needed.

But nevertheless still sad about things that once had been. That would never return again.

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"Is there anything you don't know?" Cindy looked annoyed as a deeply blushed Hotaru went back to her seat in class. The teacher wrote down the good mark for the dark haired pupil in his little, red book and turned towards the table. To explain something more to the picture Hotaru just drew on the green underground.

"You're a grind. A spoiled brat and a damn grind!" snapped Cindy and tried to let her stumble over her leg. But Hotaru reacted faster and jumped over the red shoe of the other girl. "Guess you think that you're someone very special."

No, but you do, you daughter of a politician.

But Hotaru was intelligent enough not to react. She didn't want to cause trouble or even a fight. And especially not during the lesson. The biology teacher was very, very good. He knew what he taught. But he was very, very strict. He was known that he had no mercy with students who disturbed his sacred lessons.

"Grind!" spat Cindy as Hotaru sat down behind her. Marie only grinned and showed her best friend her thumbs. To signalise her that she did a really good job. Better than the French girl would have had been. Although Hotaru often doubted that Marie wasn't even better. Marie was very interested in animals, Hotaru in humans. So they often complement each other when they had to learn for important tests. Until now they only got good marks.

One month now.

Hotaru took her biology book and pulled a crumbled letter out behind the cover. It was now almost every day that she got a letter from home. Mostly from her parents. But time by time by her aunts and her uncles, too. Sejya and Minako sent her a new CD they recorded just two weeks ago. Makoto sent her a chocolate bar she invented. Yuki-chan and May-chan drew a picture of the performance during the school festival. And Rei sent her some talismans against bad spirits together with a very long and very funny letter.

Mommy.

Daddy.

Hotaru enfolded the letter and looked for a long time on the photo they sent yesterday. It showed Haruka with Yuki-chan on her shoulders. Michiru stood next to them and fed them with what looked like chocolate cookies. Minako had wrapped her arms around a costumed May-chan. They both looked very proud and happy, too.

A picture of the school festival.

Hotaru got a lot of them and of course Marie wanted to see them all. And wanted some explanations of those persons. Of all the many persons. With sparkling eyes she declared Hotaru that it sounded great to have such a big family.

Hai, it's great.

There were other pictures, too. With the queen and the king sitting in the school's kitchen together with Sejya and Kakyuu who played with a laughing Tamahoe. Makoto balanced her delicious cakes and Usagi's mouth was brown while she stared greedy at the next pie. Then there was another picture of Rei sitting in a tent. Seeing for the children in the future and giving them candies. Only aunt Ami was missing. As every year. Because of an emergency.

One day she'll learn that there're other doctors around. That she can go home and that they'll take care for her patients during the meantime.

And someone else was missing, too. There was not a single picture of Chibiusa. Not even the slightest hint.

Didn't she take part in the festival? Has she been ill?

Hotaru felt how panic and fear rose inside her chest. No one wrote her that Chibiusa was ill. But alone the idea that her little darling could lie with fever in her bed made her feel miserable. Because she wasn't around to take care for her.

She has Helios to take care for her!

Hotaru took the letter away and sighed deeply. It was now four weeks that she left Japan and she didn't get a letter from her best friend. Not even a single, a very short letter. Not even a note in the other letters that Chibiusa wanted to say hello.

Maybe she isn't my best friend any longer?

Hotaru gulped and kept sitting while the school bell rang and all other pupils jumped from their seats to get their bags and to go into their spare time. To do their hobbies or to learn. Or simply to lay lazily around and to chat with their friends.

Surely she has no time because she spends all her time with Helios.

"'otaru? Do you want to come wit' me? To t'e 'orse farm? I am sure t'at Kevin 'as anot'er 'orse for you, too." Smiled Marie while she packed her bag, too.

Kevin.

That was a boy who went to this school, too. He was one year older than they and he owned two of the farm's horses. His parents lead the farm and Marie was obviously in love with his white mare called Sarah. And the longer Marie talked about this Kevin Hotaru was sure that the French girl liked the boy a lot, too. Not only because he was as crazy about horses as she was.

"No, thanks, Marie. I think I'd prefer to learn instead." Smiled Hotaru back although she felt still very sad. And alone. But it wouldn't help to go with Marie. Hotaru was afraid of those big animals and she didn't want to blame herself or even Marie before that Kevin.

"Okay, do w'at you want, 'otaru. We'll see at supper."

"Hai, have a nice afternoon and give Sarah a carrot from me."

"Oui, I will, 'otaru." Marie laughed and ran quickly out of the now empty room. Hotaru only sighed and took her books and her bag. Still wondering if she should write Chibiusa a letter instead. Telling her how she lived here in America. Telling her what she learned during the past four weeks. Telling her about Marie and the horses and Kevin. But then she decided against. Surely Chibiusa was too busy to read them. Surely Chibiusa didn't even miss her.

Are you so sure about that?

Hotaru ignored her inner voice while she stepped out in the bright sunshine.

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She sat on her bed already wearing her pyjama. The window was closed, it got colder with every day. Now it was the middle of October and the nights could be really chilly. She didn't want to freeze. The radio was on but she didn't listen to the lyrics nor to the melody at all. She held a toy puppy in her arms and sighed deeply. A frame laid before her on the soft blanket. An old picture that was already yellowed. It showed two young girls embracing each other. A dark haired girl made a funny face while the younger one with pink hairs laughed innocently. Not knowing that her best friend made jokes behind her back.

Normally that picture always cheered her up. But today wasn't normal. No day was normal since the black haired girl went away. Six weeks ago.

I miss you, Taru.

Chibiusa took a deep breath, put the puppy - the best birthday present she ever got - away and stood up. With shaking hands she put the frame back to its place on the desk. Right next to her grammar book. She knew that she had to do homework for tomorrow, but she was simply not in the mood for it. She simply couldn't concentrate.

Six weeks now and still no sign.

Although Haruka and Michiru wrote a letter almost every day and the others wrote some letters, too, Hotaru simply didn't react. She didn't answer one single letter. She didn't call them up. Not even a post card showing some sights of America. Nothing. As if Hotaru disappeared into nothing. Only a letter once a week from Hotaru's teacher told them that the girl was fine. That she improved a lot and that she had good marks. That she did very well in America and that the teacher congratulated Haruka and Michiru often that they had such a smart, intelligent daughter who was really interested in becoming a doctor one day. And that she would surely do fantastic in the practice term from January until the end of the school year in one of the famous hospitals there.

She simply forgot us.

Chibiusa blinked as tears filled her eyes.

She simply forgot me...

Again she remembered all those times she had been happy with her best friend. All those times they raced with their bikes along the beach. Every time Chibiusa won and Hotaru gave her an ice cream Chibiusa liked so much.

She only let me win. The whole time she only let me win because I mostly wasted all my pocket money...

Chibiusa stepped to the window and stared out to the half moon shinning over Crystal Tokyo.

Why did you go to America? Without telling me a word? Simply disappearing into nothing? Without letting your parents know that you're fine in the big country beyond the huge ocean?

The princess clenched her fists.

What is the reason you didn't want to go to Tokyo or Kyoto? What made you leave in a land so far, far away? What did you dispel from your home?

Chibiusa knew that it weren't Hotaru's parents. Haruka and Michiru loved Hotaru with all her heart and they would have never pushed her away. Hotaru was their daughter. The same way Yuki-chan was it. Hotaru belonged to them and she had always felt that. It wasn't the rest of the big, lively family. They all liked Hotaru and they all wrote like crazy letters because they all missed her.

Your fellow students? Akane?

But Chibiusa knew that Hotaru was intelligent enough not to run away just because one single girl didn't like her. Chibiusa smiled slightly as she remembered how she wanted to beat Akane. She had been 9 years old and watched how Akane dared to yell at her Hotaru. One second later Hotaru had to use all her force to hold a raging Chibiusa back.

I really wanted to kick Akane's ass.

But Hotaru had known that Akane was stronger than the little princess. And that she would have dared to hurt little Chibiusa.

She has always been there whenever I had been in trouble.

More than once Hotaru went to the Crystal Palace with a crying Chibiusa at her hand. To tell the queen and the king what happened and that they shouldn't be angry with their daughter. That the teacher was simply stupid. That the maths exam simply had been too hard for the little princess. That it wasn't Chibiusa's fault that her bike broke and that they should be happy that Chibiusa was fine. That someone stole Chibiusa's pocket money. That the princess of Crystal Tokyo lost her umbrella. That she fell down and hurt her knee.

She has always been there.

Chibiusa gulped and went over to the cage standing on her room's floor. Her brown guinea pig squeaked and hoped for another piece of salad. Without thinking Chibiusa bowed down and handled it a little bit salad and stroke the velvet fur.

And where is she now?

"Still no idea what do write?" Helios came into her room after he knocked shortly at the door. He already wore his light blue pyjama and looked sleepy. He bowed and petted the little piggy, too. It squeaked happily for all this attention and bite carefully into his thumb.

"No. And I won't write. It's now six weeks and she's too lazy to write even her parents back. She won't write back to me." Declared Chibiusa and looked suddenly very stubborn.

"Hey, little one, as long as you don't write you'll terrorise the whole family. I know you. You're angry and disappointed, but, hey, she's still your best friend. You should be more forgivable." Smiled Helios and embraced her shortly. Then he yawned and sat down at her huge bed and pulled her blanket around his freezing body.

"May I sleep here tonight?" he asked and looked suddenly like a small boy.

"Another nightmare, Heli-chan?" shortly Chibiusa looked into his red eyes and remembered that her problems were tiny in comparison to his ones.

"Just a small one." He smiled but it looked sadly. "I just don't want to be alone tonight and I don't want to wake up mommy and daddy again."

"Just feel yourself home." Answered Chibiusa and sat down behind the desk. She pulled out a block and grabbed her pencil. But still her head was empty and she simply didn't know what to write first. What to write best.

"Just write what you think, little one. Even if it sounds crazy." Giggled Helios and yawned. Then he cuddled deeper into her blankets and closed his eyes. "But we all know that you're crazy, little one."

Chibiusa nodded and concentrated. And finally, after six long weeks, she started to write.

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Eight weeks now.

Haruka held her helmet tight in her hands and stared at her pale face in the car window's reflection.

It's now the beginning of November and she didn't write back.

Slowly Haruka opened the door and took place behind the steering wheel. This was another race she wanted to take part, because it was more a race of honour than to win a real price. There were a lots of people from her team around to help her with the car. To make sure that it would take her over the race track and surely to the first place. She already had the pole position and no one doubted that she wouldn't win.

She didn't answer any letter. Not one single letter. Not even Yuki-chan's letter she drew with so much love and passion.

Haruka sighed deeply and pulled her phone out of her pockets. Shortly she observed it to make sure that it was on before she put it away again.

It's like she didn't want to write us back.

Someone showed her that she should leave the box and so she started the car and drove out into the weak autumn's sun.

"It's show time." She whispered as she reached her pole position.

If she doesn't react now she doesn't want us any longer.

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Nani?

Hotaru opened the crumbled letter and read her daddy's neat writing. It was only her daddy's. There was no drawn picture of Yuki-chan on the bottom. There was no writing of her mother trying to fight against her daddy's and writing some more crazy comments behind Haruka's words.

Nani?

This letter her daddy obviously wrote all alone. It was a serious one. A very serious one. Telling Hotaru how much they loved hey. That they were proud of her studying in a foreign country, learning a foreign language. That the teacher only wrote good things about her and that she was an excellent pupil.

Nani?

Hotaru gulped as she read the last lines. Her daddy told her that she would always be their daughter. That she only had to call them up or to write them if she had any problems. That they would listen. That they would always be there. That one call was enough to take her home if she didn't want to stay in America any longer.

Nani...

Hotaru felt how tears burned in her eyes. That letter wasn't one of the funny ones her daddy mostly wrote. This one was really serious. It was telling her how unconditional her parents loved her - no matter what ever would happen. That she would always belong to their family.

The letter didn't have a signature. Only a little sketch of a little girl sitting near a black piano, laughing happily at the watcher. Haruka wasn't as talented as her wife in drawing but Hotaru could recognize herself. Could recognize the old photo her daddy had always in the pockets of her jeans.

I love you, too.

Hotaru swallowed hard, remembered again why she was in America. Saw again the shadow she didn't see during the past eight weeks. Saw again Helios and Chibiusa standing under the cherry tree. Felt again the pain raging in her heart.

I love you, too.

But she had to stay here. To learn for her future. And to try to forget. To understand. To accept. And maybe to be able to live with that pain when she would return by the end of the term.

Hope they aren't too angry that I don't write back.

It was simply to painful for her.

Hotaru stood up from her bed and put the letter carefully to the others in her drawer. Then she grabbed her photograph and ran out of the room she shared with Marie and Cindy. Cindy wasn't around. It was a Sunday and surely she was in the great hall watching TV with her friends and chatting. Hotaru wiped away some tears with the sleeves of her blouse while she ran long the corridor. She wore her school uniform, even during the days off. Cindy blamed her every chance she got how stupid she looked. That she wasn't in Japan any longer. That America was a free land. That she didn't have to wear a school uniform any longer. But the teacher let her. Every one was allowed to wear what he or she wanted and as long as her uniform was clean and in order she could wear it. Marie even called it trés jolie. Whatever that meant.

"Marie?" Hotaru glanced at her watch. Still there was half an hour time to meet her. Today they wanted to go together to the horse farm. Marie finally convinced Hotaru that it was worth it. To see those beautiful animals. And to see her riding. Marie was very keen on proving that she was maybe too afraid to jump from the tower into the water but that she was an expert in trick riding. Her mother lead such a farm in France, too, and so it was naturally for Marie to spent most of her free time with her horses. And with that Kevin. Hotaru smiled when she thought how excited Marie always was when she talked about that boy.

Today I am going to meet him.

Hotaru declared that she wanted to see Marie riding. That she would make some photos but that she wouldn't ride on such a big animal. She wasn't very keen on. And she wasn't allowed by her doctor either. Marie looked a little bit disappointed but after Hotaru showed her the photograph the French girl was convinced and they decided for today to be the perfect day.

"Is Marie somewhere here?" Hotaru ran into the big hall where Cindy and some other girls sat around the TV sat and watched some sport. Formula one as Hotaru saw after the second look. The honour race of the Grand Prix of Japan. Her daddy had the pole position.

As always.

Against her will Hotaru had to grin.

"I am not her nursemaid, Hotawu." Marie knew too well how Hotaru's name was pronounced correctly and she knew too well how angry Hotaru could get. So she said it the wrong way on purpose. But Hotaru was to excited to go to the farm that she simply ignored it.

"Guess she's in the bathroom or so." said another girl who simply wanted to watch TV and didn't belong to Cindy and her personal hate club. "Just wait some minutes. I am sure that she'll return."

Hotaru nodded and sat down and watched how the race started. Her daddy kept her pole position without many problems and the commentators already discussed who would reach the second place. Because the first one was already clear when Tenô Haruka accompanied them.

"This Tenô Haruka is really great." Said a girl and chewed excitedly on her candy stick.

"Hai. There's hardly any race he lost." Answered a boy. "He used to be the World Champion for four years after another. Until he and his wife got a child. Since that day he only drives when he's asked. For honour races like this one."

"Hey, you're really good informed." Teased another girl and the boy blushed.

"My daddy liked Tenô Haruka a lot during his best times." He mumbled but it sounded more like an excuse. The girls only grinned and they watched the next four rounds.

Then Haruka suddenly seemed to have problems. She got slower and some cars could overtake her. Hotaru frowned and felt suddenly sick. Because she knew that her daddy couldn't be beaten that easily by her opponents. Even the commentators sounded surprised.

Maybe her car is broken?

"What's now wrong?" asked the boy and the other girls frowned, too. Just Cindy yawned. She wanted to look a daily soap opera but the others had been to many and so she had to wait until the race was over.

Nani?

At that moment Haruka seemed to lost control over her red Ferrari and left the race track. There was a last try to get back to the track as the car suddenly swirled around itself and crashed into the next wall. The camera shook and suddenly there were flames everywhere. The air was dark with smoke and the commentators now screamed into the micros. The place was suddenly crowded with different people. There was even an ambulance. Just Haruka couldn't be seen anywhere.

Nani?

Hotaru felt suddenly very, very sick. Her whole stomach ached and automatically she grabbed her back bag and pulled her phone outside.

I looked into the mirror this morning. There was no shadow. There was no sign!

But Hotaru knew too well how quickly that could chance. Maybe she was too far away to feel it? Maybe that curse only worked when the people she loved, she had to protect, were around? Maybe...

Automatically she dialled the number and held the phone against her ear.

I am far, far away. Hopefully that's not the reason for her accident...

"What the hell happened?"

"I can't believe it, that's Tenô Haruka! He can't have an accident like that!"

The girls were really excited. The blushed boy was now pale and only shook his head.

"That's enough. That's boring." Cindy leaned forward and grabbed the remote control to watch her soap opera. She didn't understand what was happening and it looked for her that the race was over.

"PUT THAT DOWN!" growled Hotaru with the phone in her one and the small mirror in her other hand. But still she didn't see the shadow. Not even the slightest hint of it.

Cindy frowned because no one ever dared to talk to her in such an icy, in such a determined voice. She frowned even more as she saw the phone in the other girl's hand, because she thought that the Japanese girl was too poor to have such an expensive thing.

"Konnichiwa?" Hotaru gulped as finally someone answered her phone. "Here's Tenô Hotaru. Can I have a talk to my daddy?" she rolled her eyes as someone yelled into the phone. A young voice she didn't know. Not yet. "I just wanna..." The phone call was broken and for some seconds she looked at the phone in disbelieve. That had never happened before. Again she looked at the screen, saw the flames and the firework brigade trying to erase them. Still there was no sign of her daddy on the track. Even the voices of the commentators were quieter now. Automatically Hotaru dialled again. And got the same voice back on the phone.

"If you hang up now, lad, you're fired!" she yelled into the phone to be on the same level with him. "It's alike if there's hell outside on the race track. I want to talk to my daddy. RIGHT NOW!" Her dark eyes sparkled and she crabbed the mirror tighter in her hand. "Then give me Shinji. Hai, right. Tamed Shinji. Fuck! It's alike to me HOW you do it. Just DO it or I'll kick..." There was a brief moment of silence and Hotaru growled into the now deaf telephone. While tears sparkled in her eyes.

"Tamado Shinji?" asked the boy and raised his eyebrows. The other girls only shrugged their shoulders because they knew too who that man was. He was the manager of the Grand Prix in Japan. But that was all they understood, because the dark haired girl talked to the phone in a language they didn't understand. Surely Japanese. She did come from Japan, didn't she?

But what was she doing right now? They didn't know an answer. So they kept silent and waited.

"Shinji?" Hotaru let out a long, relieved sigh. "How I am feeling? My daddy just had an accident and you're asking me how I am feeling?" The dark haired girl shook her head and felt how her whole body started to tremble. "Where's she? How's SHE feeling? Is everything okay? Please, Shinji, tell me that everything is fine. That it was simply that fucking car and that... Hai, I know, I shouldn't curse, but damn, that doesn't interest me at all right..." There was laughter at the other end of the phone and Hotaru felt how tears ran over her cheeks as she heard the teasing voice the other second as Shinji handled the phone. It was only a short sentence the other person said but it was the most beautiful sentence Hotaru had ever head before in her life.

Hello, Himme-chan.

"Shit, daddy, do you know how much you scared me?" sobbed Hotaru and more tears ran down her cheeks. She held the phone tighter in her hands and the mirror fell down with a cracking noise. But she didn't even notice it.

"The car... I knew that it was... the break? But it's... nothing happened to you... that's the most important thing... daddy! It was only a race! It's not important. Not as important as you are... Hai... I know... you always... hai..." Hotaru sighed deeply and was very relieved to hear her daddy so alive and so happy on the other side of the phone.

"How I am feeling?" Hotaru laughed a shaky voice, not realising that Marie entered the room and looked asking at the obviously crying tall girl. "That's strange, you had an accident, daddy, and everyone is asking me how I feel. Even Shinji..." Hotaru nodded. "Is mommy fine? Does she know that you didn't break your stubborn head? Oh... she stands right beside you? Shinji took her? Must have been a shock for her... surely..." Hotaru didn't know how long she talked to her daddy. It was so nice simply hearing Haruka's voice. Teasing her. Laughing at the other end of the phone. Then she spoke shortly to her mommy and to her little sister. She would have talked for hours to them, but then Shinji reminded them that Haruka should go out and tell the world that she was still alive. That they could continue with their race. That no one died today.

"I..." Hotaru closed her eyes for some moments and knew that she would start to write home. This very day. It wasn't her parents fault that Chibiusa loved Helios. That she saw shadows in every mirror. That she loved not only a girl, but the princess of Crystal Tokyo. "I love you, too, daddy. All of you."

At that moment Tenô Haruka stepped out in the sun of the race track and smiled cheeky at the reporters already waiting for her. The still pale boy and the confused girls saw how the famous formula one racer put away a phone before she started to answer different questions.

Hotaru stared for some more seconds at the phone and sobbed quietly. Then she came to her trembling legs and put her own phone away. Shortly she looked at Marie and wiped away her tears. They were replaced by new ones.

"I can't come with you today. I simply can't." she whispered before she stormed out of the room. The others looked still very, very confused. They didn't understand a word Hotaru had spoken in Japanese.

Just one single word Marie understood too well.

Daddy.

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She enjoyed the rushes of the waves. Her eyes were closed. Fresh November wind played with her long hairs and with her white night dress. She smiled as someone stepped behind her and held her tight. Rocked her. Kissed her temples and her cheeks.

"You didn't cause that accident on purpose, did you, Ruka?" asked Michiru after a long time they stood there and felt the presence of the other one. Haruka only kissed her wife and held her a little bit tighter.

"You know, I'd never leave you." Was all she replied.

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	4. Chapter 3: Having a ball

**Chapter three: Having a ball**

Soft music filled the air. A low man sung. Accompanied to a tender violin play. Nothing more could be heard. Not even the groaning of the person sitting on a desk. The window was closed, but the curtain hang aside. To show the tree standing outside. Wind took the last coloured leaves away and the sky was grey. Although it was only late afternoon the sun was setting soon. The days got shorter, the nights longer. Winter came nearer. Just like Christmas.

Christmas...

The person shortly looked up from the folder in front of her. A lot of crumbled sheets laid around on the soft carpet. One ball even landed in a cage on the ground. The brown guinea pig sniffed for a brief second at it, then it turned bored around and searched for food in its wooden house.

Christmas. Just two more weeks.

Pink eyes looked thoughtfully out to a framed picture standing right in front of her. The girl sighed deeply, chewing for a long time on her pencil. While her uncle sang another romantic song in the background.

What shall I give her?

The girl sighed again and rubbed her tired eyes. She didn't sleep well the last nights. As she didn't sleep well since that very day in September. Strange nightmares let her wake up mostly at midnight and it was hard for her to find sleep again.

What does she want?

What does she need?

In silence she stared at the picture of a black haired girl. Her best friend. Once. It seemed to be a long, a damn long time ago that she last spoke to her. That she last laughed with her. That she last simply sat there and looked at her. Saw her smile. Saw the sparkle in those beautiful purple eyes.

Will she return for Christmas?

For a moment she felt the old panic growing again inside her chest. The panic she felt the whole autumn. That her best friend went away and would never return at all. That she would left her alone in Japan. That a big ocean, that thousands of miles would separate them. For ever.

But last week Haruka and Michiru received the first letter from their daughter. Full with funny sentences. Full with postcards and descriptions of a world the girl didn't know. She asked the famous violinist if she was allowed to read that letter, too. Michiru only smiled and handled it to her. The princess read it again and again. She spent the whole afternoon at the light house by the sea, sitting on a big couch next to a giggling May-chan letting a happy laughing Miyuki win a card game. It was dust when she could finally put the letter away. Only three pages that told them that Hotaru was fine. That she felt happy in America. That she found new friends. And that she missed her once best friend not at all.

She didn't even mention my name!

Tears stood in pink eyes while she stroke softly over the glass of the frame. As if she wanted to stroke through dark hairs that felt like velvet. That always smelled so nice from Hotaru's shampoo. So sweet...

She doesn't miss me at all!

The girl took the pencil again in her hands and concentrated again on the few lines she'd written so far. But it all sounded wrong. It was now almost a month that she tried to write a simple letter. To her best friend who was so far away. Whom she missed madly. It was only a simple letter and she had written thousands of such letters to Hotaru when they went to the same school. To exchange them during the break and to answer them during the lessons. But now it was suddenly very hard for the princess to write anything down. It was almost impossible.

What shall I write?

What does she want to hear?

Chibiusa chewed again on her pencil and wiped quickly away a tear that escaped her eyes.

I miss her like hell and she doesn't even ask how I am feeling!

The princess sighed deeply and threw the pencil away. Then she stood up and went over to her bed. She simply let herself fall on the soft mattress and closed her eyes. A smile formed on her lips as she remembered how Hotaru and she often had laid on her bed. This way. To speak about important and not so important things. About total nonsense. To giggle. To laugh. To tease each other around. And sometimes, to comfort each other. Hotaru often comforted Chibiusa when she had a bad mark in maths. She wasn't born to be a genius with numbers, but she had a clear voice and everyone wanted her to visit the choir. And she liked books. First she was sceptical about so many pages, about so many words. But Hotaru learned her to love them. When she had been smaller and Hotaru learned to read, she read all those stories for a smaller Chibiusa. And when Chibiusa finally was able to read they read together. Aloud. Everyone got her favourite character and had to read those lines aloud.

It had been so much fun.

Chibiusa turned around and pulled the blanket over her head. She could remember so many times when she had laid this way, too. Next to a sleeping Hotaru after they watched a horror movie until late in the night. Until after midnight. Hotaru had never any fear about those thrillers. She could sleep like an angel while Chibiusa feared that a vampire would fly right through the window to bite her. In those nights she crept under her best friend's blanket. She crept into Hotaru's warm embrace and felt safe and secure there. There she knew that no one would ever hurt her. There she knew that no vampire could ever come near. No zombie would ever be able to take her to its grave.

But now she's not here.

Chibiusa wrapped her arms around her waist and started again to freeze. Somehow she couldn't get warm again. Not since that morning shortly after her birthday. When she woke up at dawn and Hotaru was simply gone. The big bed had been empty and the whole day Chibiusa had have the feeling that Hotaru was avoiding her.

And then she ran away.

Chibiusa gulped and remembered again their real last day together. Before Chibiusa spent the next days in the palace with some official meetings and Hotaru simply flew away. Had there happened anything special? Anything that made Hotaru ran away? Because the princess couldn't get rid off the feeling that the dark haired girl ran away. From something. Or someone?

From me?

Chibiusa opened her eyes and stared blank at the wall. At a poster she once got from her best friend. It showed the endless sky. One eagle was flying above the mountain's tops. Suddenly she remembered Hotaru's reaction when she went into the room and embraced her. Because she wanted to comfort her for that the little boy had died. To comfort and simply to hold her. She liked it a lot to be near her Hotaru. To hold her. To lean on her in the night when she was afraid of every shadow moving along the ceiling. To watch her. To listen to her. To see that tender smile on her face.

Did I go too far?

Chibiusa sighed again and pressed her hands on her eyes.

Too far? With what?

She rolled on her back and took a deep breath. Helios was right. She should simply write what she thought. What was in her mind. No matter if it was important or not. No matter if it was interesting or not. As long as it was for her interesting. She should write about her days at school, about all the politicians. About her family situation and how it changed during the past weeks. About the whole palace and all friends getting excited about the coming Christmas. About Minako and Sejya having another concert. About Haruka winning another race. About May-chan and Yuki-chan making a delicious cake together with auntie Makoto. About Michiru having big rehearsals during the past time. About Rei and the queen arguing a lot – as always. About Ami working hard and long. About simply what happened in Tokyo. In her little world.

And in my heart?

She wasn't sure what she should write. What exactly. She already wrote about ten pages, but they all sounded wrong. The more she wrote the more she felt uncomfortable.

Maybe she doesn't want to read it? Maybe she will throw it away? Maybe she won't answer me? Maybe...

Chibiusa sighed even deeper and blinked as the door was pushed open. A shinning person stepped into and the princess closed groaning her eyes. She didn't want to talk to her mother now. She was always too happy, too shinning for the girl. Especially when Chibiusa was in such a bad mood.

"What are you doing, small lady?" asked Usagi smiling and looked curious over to the desk. "Homework?"

"Nope. I am done with that."

"Did you understand them or shall daddy help you?"

"Nope, it's fine."

Usagi frowned at her daughter's annoyed sounding voice. But she forgot it when she read the few lines written on the blank sheet of paper.

"A letter to Hotaru?" the queen sat down and took the pencil without thinking. "That's cute that you write her. I am sure she'll be happy to hear from you." Usagi giggled and started to write. "And from me..."

Chibiusa sat upright the next moment and jumped out of the bed. With two steps she was next to her mother and grabbed the letter while her mother was still drawing a little figure with two odangos and a smile on its face as wide as its cheeks.

"That's my letter. How can you dare?" she snapped and held the paper behind her back. "You can't simply draw into other people's stuff! Make your own letter if you want to write her! Maybe you're happy and she'll answer you!"

Usagi's blue eyes looked thoughtfully at her daughter. In silence. For a long time that made Chibiusa feel uncomfortable.

"You miss her, right?" asked the queen after a long while, but Chibiusa didn't want to talk about the whole topic. Not now. And especially not with her mother. Who would never understand her. As long as Chibiusa didn't understand it by herself, she wouldn't tell anyone else. No matter how curious or symphathic her mother looked at her!

"I am sure she'll return for Christmas and then you'll see her again. It's only this one year. And it's good for her school exams and for her future career."

Lies! Only lies! She had never been like aunt Ami! She would have never...

Chibiusa held the letter tighter in her arms and turned her head away. She couldn't stare into her mother's shinning face any longer.

She left you! She would do anything she wants to do! She doesn't take care of other people! She...

"Mommy? Can you please help me?" The door was pushed open and Helios stood there. He wore the shirt of his official uniform the wrong way and looked really helpless. This evening was a very important ball in the palace and Helios wanted to take part at it, too. For the first time. He wanted to look perfect on such an event like this one.

Usagi hesitated and looked sceptically at her daughter.

"Please..." Helios held his trousers and jumped through the whole room. Usagi giggled and finally took his right arm and helped him out of the room – without loosing his clothes and the rest of his pride.

"If you need us, small lady, we're in Helios' room." She said and it sounded more like a promise. The promise to be there whenever her daughter needed her. "I need to take care of my son."

Promise. Hotaru promised me so much, too! And she didn't hold any of them!

Chibiusa closed the door behind the two and leaned against it. Taking a deep breath. Feeling again those tears in her eyes.

She promised me that we would go to the same school. That we would go to the same university one day. That we would take a double room there. That we would watch horror movies the whole evenings there. That Hotaru would make her famous chocolate cake. That it would be a funny time. And now?

Now she was alone. All alone. No one understood her. Chibiusa didn't even understand herself why she missed her best friend that much. Was it because they spent all their childhood together? Was it because their parents were so good friends? Was it because Chibiusa simply didn't feel complete when her strong Taru wasn't around?

What the hell!

Chibiusa sighed deeply and looked down at her letter. Ready to erase all the things her mother wrote and drew down. The odango person looked strange and there was a long line that went over the whole page. Surely drawn when Chibiusa grabbed for the block and took it away. There were some words written above. Some greetings. From Usagi and her husband. From all the others. There was one line that was typical for the queen of Crystal Tokyo. She said that to everyone. And meant it. In her special way she meant it to everyone who crossed her way.

We love you, Hotaru-chan. 

Only a single line. A single sentence. A simple one for the queen. An easy one. She loved all persons. All friends, all relatives. All of her people. Only Mamoru owned her heart.

Love...

Chibiusa couldn't tell how long she stared at the line her mother wrote. Until it blurred. Until tears wetted the letter.

Love...

The princess took a deep breath and slowly she went again to her desk and sat down. Staring again at all the words she had already written. Carefully she folded them and put them into an envelope. Then she took a new sheet and started to write. This time a little bit faster. With burning cheeks.

Love... maybe I should really write what I think.

What I feel...

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It was December. Hotaru knew that it was December. Her calendar told her that it should be cold outside. That the leaves should lay on the ground and that the trees should look naked and grey. But this land was different. Here autumn had just begun. It was still very warm outside. Not as hot as it had been in September but still it was so warm it would have never been in Japan at this time of the year. The trees were coloured and the sun was still very powerful. There no sign of any snow and as some American people told her this was a state which never saw real snow. Only some little snow flakes in the night which melted away when dawn came.

It was a complete different land. A complete different nature. A complete different way of life. But some traditions stayed the same. Almost overall in the world. Just like Christmas.

Hotaru gulped as she and Marie crossed the schoolyard. Again they had swim lessons and the girls weren't very happy about that. Marie was too afraid to jump from the tower and Hotaru was simply tired of Cindy's silly arguments that she was lazy. That she was a coward. That she thought that she was something special only because she was an exchange student from Japan.

Christmas...

Hotaru turned her head and looked at the big tree they planted right on the school yard some days ago. It was a fir. A big, green fir. Certainly for the Christmas festival. To be decorated for the holidays. Some traditions simply stood the same. Even if it was too hot for a Santa Clause in a thick, warm, red jacket. Even if no kid here knew how to use a sleigh.

Christmas...

The dark haired girl lowered her head and sighed deeply. Still she didn't know what she should do. Simply going home for the holidays? For whole two weeks? To see Helios and Chibiusa together? Giggling and maybe kissing the whole Christmas eve?

What shall I give them?

Hotaru didn't even have one single present although her classmates already started to buy or to make them. Marie started to knit a scarf one week ago. It was made out of different screaming colours and looked simply great. It was for her big brother who didn't need it in Africa where he studied. But he froze whenever he returned home. Because he froze like hell in France – even in the summer.

He returns whenever he has time. Shall I return, too?

Hotaru looked away from the firm that would become their Christmas tree and clenched her fists. It would be her first Christmas without her family and she wasn't sure if she really wanted to spent it here. Without Marie who would go to France for those two weeks. But also without Cindy who would visit her family.

Family...

Daddy and mommy...

Hotaru lowered her head and looked thoughtful at her shoes. She missed her parents a lot. More than she had imagined before she came to America. She missed it to be waken up by her crazy sister simply jumping in her bed. And sometimes even in her stomach. She missed it to sit sleepy in the morning at the table and eating the delicious breakfast her mommy made. Seeing her daddy sitting the same sleepy opposite. Teasing Yuki-chan and May-chan around. She missed it to be taken to school by her daddy's fast Ferrari. To hear crazy punk music. To hear Haruka singing along with the male voices. To laugh whenever Haruka could trick the police. She missed it to listen to her daddy's piano play and to her mommy playing the violin.

Daddy and mommy...

They had always been there for her. Whenever she needed them. Even when she didn't say a word. The day she came home with a blue eye because Akane beat her, her parents didn't ask further. Her mother took care for her and her injure while her father drove to the school and shouted angrily around. Only Michiru could hinder her to kill some persons. Especially the principal who was simply an asshole as Haruka often called him. But nevertheless Yuki-chan would go to this school, too. Because it was the best one in Tokyo.

Daddy and mommy...

They had always been there for her. But no Hotaru wasn't any longer at home. No she wasn't any longer in Japan. She was far away. Thousand of miles away. Her parents couldn't help her any longer. They couldn't cheer her up any longer. The dark haired girl felt strangely alone. Empty. Abounded.

You wanted it that way!

Hotaru bit on her lower lip. Again she saw the cute couple under the cherry tree. Embracing each other. Slowly the tall girl shook her head.

It had been the only acceptable decision I could make.

Where three, almost four months enough to face Chibiusa again? Was Hotaru now strong enough to see her best friend, her secret love, kissing that Helios? Could she simply sit in her parent's living room next to a sparkling Christmas tree when Chibiusa and Helios behaved like a young couple being in love?

"Do you already know w'at you will wear to the Christmas promotion?" asked Marie who walked next to her and awoke her from her bad thoughts.

"Christmas promotion?" Hotaru frowned and wondered if she missed something.

"Oui. It'll take part in the last week before Christmas. In about two weeks." Giggled Marie. "Didn't you listen to Susan's words yesterday? O', I forgot, you read a book w'ile we talked." The French girl giggled even more. She knew that her best friend could drown in her own world when she read a book. Or when she listened to music. Then her body was still in this world but her soul, her whole being left and where somewhere else. Where no one could reach her. But that was okay for Marie. She forgot the real world, too. Whenever she sat on a horse's back.

"T'ere'll be live music, delicious food and everyone wants to show 'ow beautiful 'e or she is." They both looked at each other and imagined Cindy in an expensive looking dress. Both had to grin. "Or in Cindy's case to show 'ow rich and important she is. Guess I'll simply wear my pink dress I brought from 'ome. It's too expensive to buy a new one – just for one evening."

Hotaru nodded slowly and remembered the nice dress her mother gave her shortly before she flew away. It was made out of dark velvet and covered her feed. The sleeves where long and wide and looked like wings. Surely it had cost a fortune but Hotaru wasn't sure if she really wanted to wear it. She looked so female in it. A way she didn't feel at all.

"Oh, and we need a partner to go t'ere. The first girls already asked some boys and some other girls simply stared so long at the desired boy until he came over and asked. " giggled Marie and swung her bag through the air.

A partner?

Panic rose inside Hotaru. She didn't know a boy she could ask. Nor did she want to ask or even being asked. She didn't want to go to that promotion. Not with a boy. Not with anyone else. Cindy didn't like her and Hotaru was suddenly sure that she would try everything to make that evening terrible for her.

"Why don't you go and ask that Kevin?" asked Hotaru and tried to get rid of the feeling inside her stomach. Some traditions never changed, even if she was thousands of miles away. A Christmas promotion was tradition. Especially in a land like America.

We had promotions at home, too.

Hotaru sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment when a picture crossed her mind. The picture of a beautiful girl in a dark red dress. Laughing happily. Grabbing her hands and swirling around with her.

Now she has Helios to dance with...

"Kevin?" Marie blushed deeply. Then she started a little bit embarrassed to laugh. "Do you really t'ink so?" She winked at Hotaru and started to run. They had again swim lessons today and were only some meters away from the swimming hall.

Surely you want to go with him to the promotion, Marie-chan. I can see the love sparkling in your eyes whenever you talk about his horse – and him.

But Hotaru was wise enough not to ask Marie. It was the French girl's business and Hotaru was sure when Kevin was the nice guy Marie described him, it was only a matter of time until they were a couple.

The tall girl held her own swim bag tighter and followed her French friend.

Ten minutes later the lessons begun. Hotaru swam in the water, feeling embarrassed and humiliated while the others did special tasks. Jumping from the tower, doing some special moves in the deep water. Hotaru wasn't even allowed to go there. She had to stay where the water was flat. Just like a small child. And as if that wasn't already enough humiliation, Cindy used every chance to complaint about the Japanese girl. About the exchange pupil who seemed to get extra treatment.

"How is it, Hotawu? Is the water warm enough for you? Hope you won't drown. It's sooooo dangerous deep over there! Maybe it should be better to ask for a swimming ring. Just in case." Then she and her best friends started to laugh. Until the teacher returned from the phone. Hotaru tried to ignore them while she did her turns in the nice fresh water. But Cindy stared at her. Just like her two friends, Brenda and Caroline. It made it impossible for Hotaru at least to try to enjoy it being in the water. The element she loved so much when she had been younger. The element she had felt safe. Until that day two years ago.

Ten more minutes and Hotaru was allowed to leave the water. The teacher didn't let her swim more than twenty minutes. The time the doctor gave her for each swim lesson. Hotaru asked her once for some more minutes, but Linda only said that she had responsibility for her. And that she didn't want to call her parents up to tell them that she drowned. So Hotaru took her bathrobe and wrapped herself into the soft cloth. Trying hard to ignore Cindy's angry shouting. Just like Marie's French accent trying to make the politician's daughter shut up.

Marie's a real friend.

Hotaru smiled slightly while she went over to the changing room.

She argues with Cindy. Only to defend myself.

The tall girl rubbed herself try and got into her school uniform again. Her dark eyes shone sad as she started to brush her hairs. They grew during the past weeks. Now they hang over her shoulders and normally Hotaru should have gone to a hairdresser. But somehow she wasn't in the mood for it. She simply put her hairs together in a knot in her neck and didn't care about them any longer. She didn't know if she really wanted to have long hairs. Longer than her shoulders. Her mommy cared for her appearance when she had been younger and she simply let them this way when she got older. But today, it all seemed to be senseless. She had other problems than the length of her hair.

"I 'ate that person!" Marie stepped into the changing room. Her towel hang around her shoulders and little poodles formed under her feet as she crossed the room. "Linda just gave me two minutes to go to t'e bat'room." Marie smiled admiring at Hotaru's dark hairs. She was blonde, but always wanted to have black hairs. But her mother didn't allow her to colour them. Secretly Hotaru agreed Marie's mother. Marie looked great with her long, blonde hairs. And with her crazy clothes. Just like a bright sunshine.

"I wanted to ask you if you want to come to the 'orse farm this afternoon. You don't 'ave to ride, 'otaru. I just want to introduce you to Kevin and to Sara'."

"Okay." Hotaru who simply couldn't say no to a smiling Marie put her hairbrush down and nodded. Marie shortly squeezed her, then she turned around and went back to the door.

"And don't forget your camera." she laughed and returned to the swimming hall.

I won't, Marie. I won't.

Hotaru looked again into the mirror to brush her still wet hairs. Seeing her sad, dark eyes looking thoughtful back at her. Again she thought about Christmas and if she should return home. If she was strong enough to face the mess her life had become during August.

Again she didn't find a suitable answer.

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"Sit!" Hotaru crossed her arms before her face and stumbled some steps back. But the horse didn't stop. Instead it came nearer and nearer. That big, dangerous looking animal. It was about two heads taller than Hotaru who was herself not the smallest girl. And it chewed. Surely it wanted to bit her. To kick with his long legs after her. To kill her.

"Sit!" The camera fell into the soft straw and Hotaru's eyes grew wide as she felt the wall in her back. "Sit!" But the horse didn't react. It came nearer and nearer. And started to rub its big head on Hotaru's chest as if it was searching for something. The tall girl believed to die right now.

"'otaru. T'at's not a dog." Laughed Marie and came running over to them. Unafraid she petted the big neck of the horse and her eyes sparkled as Sarah rubbed her big head on her chest. "You're greedy, Sara'. I don't 'ave any sugar."

Shortly Hotaru observed her French friend. She wore special boots, leather pants and a wide t-shirt. Of course it was screaming pink and doesn't fit to the rider outfit at all. But it fitted perfectly Marie. A dark helmet throned in her blonde hairs she had put together to a plaid. Her cheeks were redden and she whispered loving words to the horse in a language Hotaru didn't understand.

"Have fun..." marbled the tall girl and grabbed her camera again. And used her chance to escape. She stepped towards the door that leaded into the riding hall. There she felt saver. Still she could see Marie who climbed now on that big horse. It looked very professional. As if Marie had done that a thousand of times before. Automatically Hotaru raised her camera and took a photo. Normally she wasn't so crazy on taking photos. Her daddy and especially uncle Sejya made most of the family photos. To every birthday, every big event they danced through the whole house and made photos. Haruka didn't really take part in Sejya's wedding. Only behind her camera. Michiru argued with her the whole day but in the end those photos were the best. Because no one really saw Haruka standing there with the camera. They all behaved normal. And so it came that Haruka could make a photo of Rei who enflamed the candles with her fireball. A photo of the queen who stole a cherry from the cake before Sejya and Kakyuu could cut it. A photo of Minako feeding a little May-chan who sat on her lap with an wide opened mouth. Ami sat right next to them and held a towel in her hands to help them if her daughter missed the spoon. She smiled and looked really happy. The only picture Hotaru knew when her aunt didn't look sad, empty or simply tired. There she had been ful of life. Just like Minako always was.

Daddy made a picture of me dancing with little darling.

They had been young, almost children. Twelve and eleven years. But they tried to dance like the adults. Giggling Hotaru remembered all those times they stumbled and almost fell down. And such a stumble – Haruka put it on a photo for eternity.

We've had laughed so much that day. We've had been so happy...

"Hello. You must be Hotaru. The one Marie is talking about so much."

Hotaru swirled around because she didn't have hear anyone come. A boy leaned against the wall. He was her age, maybe a little bit older. His short brown hairs were messed and he wore the same leather clothes like Marie. His dark eyes sparkled as he stretched his hand towards her. She took it and shook it. And bowed. She simply couldn't get rid of that tradition. She was sixteen, almost seventeen. She had bowed all of her life to say hello to a stranger. But he didn't laugh. Only a few people didn't laugh over her sometimes silly looking behaviour. And he pronounced her name the right way.

"I am Kevin. It's nice to meet you."

"So you're the owner of the horse Marie fell in love with?" teased Hotaru and lifted her camera and made a photo of him, too. He blushed like a little boy and Hotaru was sure that her French friend would want this photo.

"Sarah." Kevin laughed and looked over to the hall. Seeing Marie riding. He waved his hand and she shortly waved back. "Marie likes her a lot."

"And you like Marie." Hotaru made another photo and envied Marie a little bit. For her it was possible to find someone. She was a smart girl. A beautiful girl. A normal girl. The way Kevin blushed now showed Hotaru that she had been right.

It's your own fault! Why can't you fall in love with another girl?

But Hotaru couldn't. She knew she couldn't simply love anyone else than her little darling. All those years they

spent together, all the things they had done. She simply couldn't forget that. But she knew that she had. Somehow. Some day.

Marie rode over to them and Hotaru automatically stepped back. Her eyes grew big again. She couldn't trust such a big animal. High towers, fast cars – those were no problems for her. She could control them. It was only matter of knowledge and technique. But a living animal – such a big one – was unforeseeable. It wasn't like Chibiusa's guinea pig. That was nice and small. And only wanted to be petted. But Sarah, the horse didn't even look cute. It didn't fit on Hotaru's hand. And those teeth, they looked very dangerous to her.

"Hey, 'otaru. Why don't you ride, too?" invited Marie and petted again the big horse's neck. "Sara' is really nice and she won't let you fall."

"No, thanks..." Hotaru shook her head and stepped again some steps back. Seeing Kevin's amused smile although he tried to hide it. There weren't a lot of people who weren't crazy about horses. Maybe they didn't have those animals in Japan.

"Comon, 'otaru. I can stay on Sara', too. To guide her. You only 'ave to 'old on 'er."

"It's really not a big deal, Hotaru." Now Kevin was speaking, too, but Hotaru only shook her head again.

"That's very nice of you two, but I already had swimming today and my doctor doesn't allow me to do more sport on one day." Hotaru held her camera tighter and sighed deeply. Surely Marie would feel pity with her. Because all people did when they asked what she had and why she wasn't allowed to make a lot of sport any longer.

"Okay, it's your decision." Marie smiled at her. "But don't forget to take some photos." With those words the French girl waved her hand and turned the big horse around. Soon she fell into gallop and it looked very dangerous. But the same time very beautiful.

"She is very talented." Commented Kevin and put his hands into his pockets. Silently he watched Marie. With an expression in his face Hotaru had seen so many times before in her life. Whenever her daddy looked at her mommy. Whenever Sejya held his princess tight. Whenever she saw the queen and the king of Crystal Tokyo. That expression was even on Minako's face when she was sure that no one saw her staring at the young doctor.

No one ever looked at me that way.

"Hai, she is..." answered Hotaru absent.

Little darling will never look a me that way.

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Pling.

Pling.

Pling.

Plong.

Pling.

Plong. Plong. Plong.

Haruka smiled as she recognized the rhythm. It was one of the punk songs she listened to so often in her Ferrari. Whenever she brought her daughter to school or went to cinema with all children.

Pling.

Pling.

Plong.

Pling. Plong. Pling. Plong.

The tall blonde raised her head and looked for a long time thoughtful at Yuki-chan who sat next to her on the soft carpet and played with enthusiasm on different pots. They all were down under and a concentrated expression laid on the small face. Small hands held two wooden spoons tight.

Pling.

Pling.

Plong. Plong. Plong.

It sounded really good. Right now Miyuki was too small to learn an instrument. But in about one or two years Haruka would ask her if she wanted to learn the drums professionally. In a music school. The tall blonde was sure that her daughter would agree.

Pling.

Plong. Pling. Plong.

Pling.

Mayumi was upstairs. In her room. To search for her mouth organ. To accompany her best friend. That was something Miyuki inherited from her mommy. Whenever she played her pots she forget everything around herself. Mayumi who knew that, mostly sat down next to her and played with a little toy car or looked into a manga. But today she got bored and decided to make music, too. She remembered that she once had gotten a mouth organ from Minako. But she didn't remember where and now she searched for over ten minutes. Haruka simply let her. She had other things to do: May-chan's homework.

How can they give such a small girl such heavy tasks? I didn't have so many at once when I had been young!

Haruka giggled as she remembered that she didn't even make homework when she had been in May-chan's age. To provoke the teacher. Because she thought that this was cool. Until she met her Michi-chan who convinced her that it could be helpful to have at least normal marks.

Michi-chan...

Her wife was right now at a big rehearsal. It was now December and of course Michiru would give some Christmas concerts. Sejya wanted to sing along in some songs. Just like Minako. So Haruka was alone in the big house. Watching over the children. But that was okay for her. So she could think over what she wanted to give her family and her friends for Christmas. And what she should do when there would be no letter telling them that Hotaru would come home for the festival of love.

She'll surely come. It's Christmas!

Pling.

Plong. Plong. Plong.

Pling. Pling.

Plong.

Haruka took her calculator and looked surprised down the sheet. On the neat child writing. May-chan actually had the right result. Although Haruka didn't know how she did that. The tall blonde knew how to find out how much fuel she needed for a race. But to find out how many baker could make thousand breads in three minutes, that was total nonsense. And she knew it. But May-chan simply found the right result. She was very intelligent. Just like her mother.

Hotaru will come home for Christmas. Won't she?

Haruka chewed on the pen and sighed deeply. Finally they received some letters from their daughter. Happy sounding letters full with description of a strange land. Full with postcards and greetings to all people at home. But somehow Haruka had a bad feeling whenever she read those lines. Always she had the feeling deep inside that those lines weren't true. That Hotaru only wrote them to calm them down. That something was wrong. But Haruka couldn't define what. One look in deep blue eyes told her that Michiru thought the same. They only couldn't do anything as long as Hotaru didn't ask them for help.

She'll come home for Christmas. Surely!

Pling. Pling. Pling.

Plong.

Pling.

Plong.

Pling. Pling. Pling.

Won't she?

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It was dark and very cold. She wrapped her red scarf tighter around her neck and blew into her red frozen hands. She forgot her gloves at home. The bell of a near church rang and after she counted the ringing she knew that it was ten o'clock. In the evening. Her rehearsal ended half an hour ago. Normally Michiru wanted to take her with a taxi home. But Minako didn't want to. She knew that her best friend's work shift was soon over and she wanted to fetch Ami up. To invite her for a nice dinner. And then take her home. May-chan surely slept already deep and tight. Minako was very thankful that Haruka took care for her the whole afternoon. But she simply didn't want to take the little girl with her to the grand opera. The tall car racer understood. She simply declared that she already baby sit Yuki-chan. That May-chan was such a nice girl Haruka liked to take care for.

They wanted to bake some cookies.

Minako giggled as she remembered the last time Haruka tried to make something eatable.

Hopefully Makoto had a little bit time to help.

Minako giggled even more. Definitely Michiru would glance at the cookies and made some on her own. And smuggle them into Haruka's bowl and throw the old ones away. With hopefully Haruka not letting notice it.

They're the perfect couple.

The blonde singer sighed slightly and slipped over the stairs towards the ambulance entrance. It was now December and it rained the whole day. It got colder with every week and the first snow was already promised by the TV. They had the big chance of a white Christmas. There had been times when Minako would have been crazy to hear such good news. Then there had taken her sleigh from their attic and waited for hours for the first snow flakes coming down to earth. With a reading Ami by her side who simply joined the crazy senshi of love. Once Haruka had seen them that way and had laughed like a maniac. As the snow didn't come and Minako looked very disappointed, Haruka helped her to get wheels on her sleigh. So that they could move in it although there was now snow on the ground. Minako remembered too well how much Ami had screamed as they speeded up more and more.

That had been real fun.

But today... today Minako was simply happy when Ami didn't work on Christmas Eve. When she at least smiled a little bit over the presents she got. When she at least tried to look happy for her daughter.

I wish I knew what's wrong with her. I wish I could help her.

But Minako knew that Ami didn't want her help. The same way she didn't want her love.

"Can I help you?" A young woman in white clothes appeared to her next. Surely a nurse. There was a small sign on her overall telling Minako that she was called Rei. But she didn't look like the priestess at all. She looked friendly and not raging at all. She wouldn't argue with the queen. Although Minako loved those little fights. Always she had to laugh to see those two chickens as she called them fighting for an apple cake piece. Or over music. Or about their dresses at an important ball. Mostly Mamoru could calm them down. Or Makoto who stepped determinedly between them and told them to shut up. To behave like real ladies.

"I am looking for Dr. Mizuno." Minako smiled at the friendly nurse who nodded.

"Just one moment. I'll call her. Just sit down." Rei looked shortly at her watch and sighed worn out. It could be very exhausting working in a hospital. At a time like that. Shortly before Christmas when it was slippery outside and many people fell down and broke their legs and arms or other bones. There was no day when there wasn't an emergency. Often car accidents when the driver lost control on the icy ground.

"It's already past ten? God, time runs by." She turned around and hurried away. Minako rubbed her tired eyes and sat down in the waiting room. It was empty. Only three fishes swam in their aquarium and seemed to enjoy the peace. That no little girl knocked at the glass walls of their home. Minako watched them for some moments. Then she took a newspaper and read it. Read it again. Until she knew the table of contents by heart. Deeply sighing she put it away and glanced at her watch. It was almost eleven o'clock. Minako frowned and wondered where the nurse named Rei was. Then she remembered that there had been the siren of the ambulance shortly after she sat down. Surely an emergency and Rei simply forgot her. Minako didn't blame her. It was very late in the night and surely the nurse didn't do it on purpose.

Better I'll take Ami and call a taxi. It's late and she has to stand up early tomorrow.

Minako yawned and left the waiting room with a short look back on the fishes who were now in there hole of a little stone and seemed to sleep. Or at least to do that what was sleep for fishes.

It was silent in the gangway. All patients seemed to sleep. No children were running, chasing each other while their pregnant mothers waited for the ultra sound. No one groaned because of the pain he or she felt. No one cried because he feared to lose someone they loved. Or because they already lost that person.

It's almost peaceful.

But Minako didn't feel fine here. She didn't like the smell of the disinfectant. She always felt sick in a house that seemed to make more ill people than it cured. The blonde singer stopped as she saw the shadow right in front of her. The young woman leaned against a slot machine. There was a tumbler with hot coffee standing inside the slot machine but the woman didn't take it.

Ami?

Minako came nearer and recognized her best friend who looked very exhausted. Her blue eyes were closed and she had wrapped her arms around her waist. Suddenly she looked very fragile.

"Ami?" As the senshi of love stepped nearer she could see how much her best friend trembled. Surely because of the lack of sleep. "Hey, little one, wake up. I can't carry you to the taxi." Minako grabbed her phone to call one. Ami only opened her eyes a little bit and Minako saw tears sparkling there. Shortly she spoke with the taxi driver, then she put her phone away and simply took Ami's arm. To guide her towards the exit. "Comon, little one, let's take you home."

"But we had an emergency... a man who had an heavy accident... I can't leave..." whispered Ami and trembled even more. Minako took a deep breath and pulled the tired doctor with her. Ignoring the weak defence.

"Forget it, little one. I'll take you home and into your bed! Before you break down!" Minako felt angry and helpless. She wanted so badly to help her Ami-chan, but she didn't know how. "Your daughter wants you to celebrate this Christmas with her – not in bed."

"They asked me to work in Christmas Eve." Marbled Ami and stumbled over her own feet. Minako held her tight and looked directly into redden eyes. Her look was very, very angry.

"If you work on Christmas Eve and don't celebrate with your daughter, I'll come personally and take you home! You can't do that to May-chan! She spends the whole days only to make a cute present for you! You can't disappoint your daughter that way!" Minako didn't even notice that she raised her voice.

"But... they all will be there. So many nice families... and I... I..." Tears ran over shrunken cheeks and Ami sobbed quietly. "I simply don't want to look into May-chan's asking face. I can't explain to her why she doesn't have a father."

But she has two mothers...

Minako looked sadly at her sobbing friend and simply pulled her into her arms to hold her tight.

"She doesn't want a father, Ami. She loves you. And she wants you. You, Ami, not a ghost who's more at hospital than at home."

For the first time since May-chan was born, Ami embraced Minako, too. Mostly she let the blonde singer do and reacted very passive. But today, she almost clinged on her. She searched openly for comfort and Minako wanted to give her all the young doctor needed. Although she didn't know what.

"I don't want this any longer..." sobbed Ami and buried her face in Minako's shoulder. The senshi of love gulped and stroke through blue strands.

"What don't you want any longer, little one?" she asked quietly and rocked her best friend. The person who meant the most in her life.

But as always she didn't get an answer.

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Hotaru put the letter into the envelope and added some postcards. Deeply she sighed and looked at the framed picture of her family that stood on her desk. She knew that this letter would arrive her parents one or two days before Christmas. No time for them to react. No time to write another letter to her telling her to come home. No time to make change her mind. She made her decision yesterday.

It's better this way.

The tall girl put her headphones over her ears and listened to the nice music. Shortly she glanced at the door, but Cindy wouldn't return yet. She was out with her best friends. To buy some nice dresses for the Christmas promotion. To go to the hairdresser to decide which hairstyle she wanted to have for that special night. Every one was crazy about this promotion. Only Hotaru didn't seem to be very interested in it. Just like Marie. The French girl had her dress. She wanted to have fun and good food there. But not to show how beautiful or how rich she was. She didn't like such behaviour. Instead she went to the horse farm almost every day. To ride with Sara' and to flirt with Kevin. Sometimes Hotaru came, too, to watch her and to make some more photos. But mostly she stayed in their room, read some books, prepared for school or wrote some letters to her parents. Or to her aunts and uncles. Only Chibiusa didn't get any letter. Hotaru didn't know what to write and because the princess of Crystal Toyko didn't write her one single letter Hotaru thought that she didn't have enough time. Surely she was very occupied with her Helios and wouldn't even have enough time to read any silly letters.

Maybe it's better this way.

Hotaru took the envelope and her jacket. She decided to go to the post office of the near town. To get rid of that letter. She didn't want to to think it over again and again. She made her decision and wouldn't change it again.

Gomen, daddy, but I am not strong enough.

The tall girl sighed and stepped into their huge bathroom. To brush her hairs and to put them together in her back. Sad eyes looked at and she sighed again. Then she froze in motion. There was again that cold feeling. The window was pushed open and icy wind she didn't feel all those months in that hot land ran through her suddenly trembling body.

I don't want to...

Hotaru took a deep breath and slowly, very slowly raised her head.

I hate this feeling. I hate this knowledge. I hate myself!

It was not normal that she could see the shadow. Standing again right behind her. Embracing someone. Holding someone tight. Someone she knew.

No...

Hotaru's eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. Not able to turn around. Not able to scream. Not able to beat the shadow who grinned at her. With a faceless face. Still Hotaru couldn't see any eyes. Not even a nose. Only a mouth that seemed to fill the free space on pale skin. Grinning wicked at her. Humiliating her. Making her life to hell. And that of all people she knew.

No...

With wide eyes Hotaru watched the person laying lifeless in the shadow's arms. Then it disappeared. Into nothing. Where it had come. Without any warning.

I am not normal! Not at all!

Hotaru sobbed quietly and grabbed for her keys. Then she swirled around and ran away. As fast as she could. Ignoring the screaming pain in her body. Ignoring the screaming pain in her heart.

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"Marie?" Hotaru stumbled into the hall. She simply kicked the bike she had stolen from the school yard aside and gasped hard for breath. Her whole body ached but she didn't care about it. The fear was stronger than every pain. Adrenaline pushed through her veins, held back the darkness waiting at the rims of her eyes.

"Marie?" There was no French girl around. So she swirled around and ran right into the stall. Sarah stood in the gangway and looked very curious at her. Hotaru took a deep breath and stepped quickly nearer. Panting and cursing.

"Marie!" She trembled like hell and leaned simply against the mare who snuffed in her dark hairs. But she didn't care about the horse. It wouldn't bite. And even if it wanted to bite her, it was alike to Hotaru. She only wanted to find someone. Anyone. To help her. To tell her that she wasn't right. That it was only a bloody nightmare. That she didn't see the shadow in the mirror. That it had been an imagination of her mind. Only a vision of her ill brain.

"Marie..." Now she sobbed and folded her arms around her waist. To comfort her. To calm herself down. And to gasp even harder for breath.

"'otaru?" The French girl came out of the box and frowned as she saw her best friend so near to the mare. Normally Hotaru wanted to be as far away as possible from the dangerous horses. And now she even touched Sarah by leaning on her. The Japanese girl was very pale and panted. There was an expression in dark eyes that made Marie shiver.

"W'at's up?"

Endless relieve streamed for some seconds through Hotaru's body. But only for some.

"Where's Kevin?" Hotaru didn't even notice that she screamed. Sarah neighed and danced nervously besides her.

"'otaru? Calm yourself down! W'at's wrong wit' you?" Marie was by her side and looked now very concerned.

"Where's Kevin?" repeated Hotaru and clenched her fists nervously.

The shadow had never been wrong. Think of your mommy! Think of your daddy! Think of uncle Sejya! Think of Helios' parents! Think of all those other people you've seen in the mirror's reflection!

"'e is on the great plains. 'e rides Goliath, 'is black stallion. W'y do you ask?" Marie made an surprised noise as Hotaru simply grabbed her hand and pulled her outside the building.

"Do you know where he always rides to? Maybe a special place? Or a special route?" Shortly Hotaru looked at the bike and knew that she didn't have the power any longer to use it. Instead she pulled Marie nearer to an old Chevy standing in the shadow of a tree. The sun was again burning from a cloudless sky, but Hotaru froze.

"Oui. But..." Marie's eyes grew wide as Hotaru placed herself behind the steering wheel. The keys were already inserted. Very typical for American people. Especially for Kevin's father who only cared for his horses and often forget to take care for his car.

"'otaru!" Marie shook her head but Hotaru simply grabbed the sleeve of her pink shirt and pulled her on the seat next to her. "W'at do you t'ink you're doing?"

"Saving Kevin's life." Was all Hotaru said when she started the engine. It didn't sound like her daddy's Ferrari at all and it was slower. Much slower. But it worked. That was all what counted. "Take your seatbelt!" Hotaru kicked the accelerator as hard as she could and the Chevy regained on speed. At least it was faster than every bike Hotaru could have stolen.

You're committing a crime!

It was only a brief moment of hesitation. Hotaru knew that shadow since her childhood. She knew what happened if she reacted. The same she knew what happened if she couldn't help.

"Mais..." Marie searched for her seatbelt and was pushed against her seat as Hotaru drove like crazy over the road. "But..."

"Shut up and show me the way he normally takes!" snapped Hotaru and there was something in her dark eyes that made Marie shivering. Still she didn't understand what was happening, but it was suddenly alike. The car was too fast to jump out of the door. So she decided to play the strange game Hotaru seemed to play with her.

"T'is direction." Marie looked doubtful at the stony ground. But Hotaru didn't hesitate to leave the old asphalt street. She didn't care about the car. She only speeded up and prayed that it wasn't already too late. That she would arrive Kevin right in time.

"Mais..." From one moment to the next Marie sat upright in her seat and screamed choked. She had seen the shadow running towards them. Passing them. Galloping like crazy. Marie turned her head and looked with a horrified expression on her face at Goliath who passed quickly by. "T'at's Kevin's stallion. But... w'ere's Kevin?" Panic grew inside her stomach. She knew that Kevin was an excellent rider. He didn't simply fell of a horse's back. Not him. An always laughing boy who seemed to be born in a saddle.

The next moment Hotaru braked violently and only the seatbelt held Marie back from falling out of the car. First she was stunned and wanted to ask why they stopped. Then she saw the person laying on the hard ground.

"Kevin!" Marie struggled with her belt and finally stumbled out of the car. She ran over to the lifeless boy and gulped. Suddenly tears were running down her cheeks.

No, please not!

Hotaru simply went on her knees and took carefully his hand. To feel for the pulse. For some seconds she felt her heart sank. Then she found it. The pulse was very weak. But it was there. Kevin's face was very pale and there was blood on his temples. He still wore his riding hat and Hotaru assumed that this simply hat saved his life. There was a stone next to him and surely he fell on it.

"Kevin..." Marie sobbed quietly and looked really shocked.

"He's alive." Hotaru closed her eyes for some seconds to thank all gods and goddess in heaven. That she wasn't too late. That the shadow couldn't take him away. "Let's call an ambulance."

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Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way... 

Loud music filled the streets of Crystal Tokyo. People hurried by. To get nice presents. For their relatives. Or simply for nice friends.

"I can't believe that I spend my day off running around for silly presents." Groaned a blue haired woman as she followed a grinning blonde from one shopping window to the next. The whole Sailor team was in the city today. It was Saturday and they all used their chance to find something suitable for the ones they loved. May-chan and Yuki-chan where at home together with Rei who already had all things she wanted to give. The priestess always had her Christmas presents by the end of August and declared to baby sit the two girls, because it was too much stress for them to shop for hours.

"Silly presents? I don't think that May-chan would agree you." Laughed Minako and held up a huge bag she carried. The others were around in the other shops near them. They separated because it would be senseless to shop with Michiru while she tried to find something nice for Makoto while the famous cook stood right beside her. They wanted to meet again at noon in a nice restaurant to eat lunch.

"You shouldn't have wasted all that money. This present is too expensive." Marbled Ami and held her handbag a little bit tighter. She didn't like all those people around and she feared that someone would steal her money.

"Hey, she wanted to have that toy and now she gets it. I can remember that your present isn't any cheaper." Minako was in such a good mood, even Ami couldn't destroy it.

"But I am her mother." Protested Ami but regretted her words immediately as she saw the sad expression flashing over Minako's face. Then it brightened up again as the senshi of love saw the shop she was searching for the last hour.

I am her Mina-mommy and I'll give her what I want.

Minako had always been stubborn. And as long as the little girl would be happy about her present it was alike to her what the young doctor said.

"Let's get into." She grabbed for Ami's hand and pulled her into the jeweller's shop before the senshi of water even had the slightest chance to protest. The jewellery sparkled in all colours of the rainbow behind clear glass. Ami frowned as she saw all the nice necklace but knew that she would never have the time nor the opportunity to wear one of them. She had little jewellery she once inherited from her mother. But she never wore it. Because she had always the feeling that it wasn't hers. That she only took care for it. Until her mother would return one day to get it back. A silly behaviour, she knew. Because her mother died shortly before she left school. An heart attack.

"What do you want here?" asked the young doctor, trying to ignore the pain raising again in her heart. It was Christmas and her mother died shortly after the festival of love. A festival she had spent in hospital and not with her daughter. They had a big fight about this and Ami would never forgive herself that the last words she spoke to her mother had been in anger.

"Haruka asked me to get the earrings for her she ordered for Michiru. She can't take them, because her wife would notice it." Minako giggled and let go of Ami's hand. To search in her big back bag for the envelope Haruka gave her. It contained enough money to pay the special earrings. Minako shortly discussed with a nice smiling saleswoman and observed the sparkling objects. Then she nodded and paid.

"I wish you a merry Christmas." Said the woman to her while she handled her the little package. Nicely wrapped into sparkling paper.

"Arigato." Minako bowed. Then she put the package into her bag. "I wish you the same." Then she turned around and saw Ami standing near. She glanced with a blurred look down the jewellery behind the glass. Different necklaces. Sparkling necklaces. Silver necklaces with little stones. One stone was light blue. Just like Ami's eyes. They always remembered Minako of a mountain lake. Of crystal clear water.

"Do you like it?" Minako grinned as Ami winced slightly.

"It's only jewellery. Nothing for me." Answered the young doctor and shrugged her shoulders. But her eyes betrayed her. Minako's grin grew wide and she simply grabbed again Ami's hand and pulled her out of the shop. Ami simply let her. It started to snow the last night and it was very cold outside. The streets and the pavements were very slippery and more than once Minako held her back when she stumbled over her own feet. Some people looked curious at the strange couple. The quiet doctor and the always talking, always laughing singer who went along the shops. Carrying huge bags with them.

"Okay... now it's only Rei and you left." Said Minako happily. Nothing was more wonderful than going hand in hand with her best friend along the street. Even if Ami only searched for hold on the slippery underground.

"What do you want to give Rei? Please, not again those candles. They stunk like hell." Groaned Ami but her eyes twinkled amused.

"Hey, the saleswoman told me that they're good to concentrate."

"Good to choke was the word she wanted to say." Now Ami had to giggle and Minako loved it to see the young woman happy. Not pale. Not exhausted. Simply enjoying her day. Slightly she squeezed the hand laying in her one and guided Ami to another shop.

"Then you'll have to advice me what our priestess should get this year."

Minako knew that it was senseless to ask Ami what she wanted to get. She knew the young doctor's answer. Ami never wanted anything. But in the end she had to accept whatever she got from her best friend.

The young singer grinned diabolic.

She already knew what her Ami would get this year. And she knew that Ami wouldn't go to the hospital during the holidays. She talked to Ami's boss some days ago and the young doctor got free. Minako knew that Ami would kill her the very day she'd find out that Minako talked to the most important doctor of the hospital, but to see Ami as happy as she was right now and to know how proud May-chan would be to have her mother at home at Christmas, that was worth every argument that could follow.

Minako smiled at Ami who already studied the shelves full of religious books.

Christmas is the festival of love. I want to celebrate it with the persons I love. With my family.

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"'ow could you know that?"

Hotaru raised her head and looked sleepy to Marie. It had been a hard day for her and a long night. It was now three in the morning and all the tall girl wanted to do was to go in her bed and to get some more hours of sleep.

"'ow the 'ell could you know that 'e's in danger? 'ow could you play the 'ero for 'im?"

'ero?

Hero?

There was something in Marie's voice Hotaru didn't like at all. Blue eyes sparkled and Marie looked strangely angry. She should be happy. Happy that the ambulance arrived so quickly. Happy that Kevin only had a concussion. Happy that he only had to stay one week in hospital and then he would be the same again. Maybe he wouldn't ride into the plaints during the next weeks, but he could take part at school again. And at the promotion.

"W'y the 'ell are you doing t'is to me?" Suddenly tears sparkled in blue eyes and Marie blushed deeply. "I t'ought you're my friend!"

Hotaru yawned and turned around to face directly her French friend.

"Moment!" she whispered and rubbed her tired eyes. "Guess you lost me there. What are you talking about, Marie?"

"W'at I am talking about? I am talking about t'at you steal Kevin from me! First you come to the riding 'all and make nice eyes to 'im. Being afraid of 'orses. Awaking the protector in 'im! T'en you simply appear and save 'is life! You're a 'ero for 'im now. And I am not'ing!" Now Marie cried. Hotaru only shook her head. Too stunned to reply anything. Too shocked to say anything.

"Do you know w'at 'e asked me today? 'e asked me if you already 'ave someone w'o goes to the promotion wit' you. Kevin didn't ask me to go wit' 'im. But 'e wants to go wit' you." Marie said some more words. In a language Hotaru didn't understand. Surely French. And surely it was nothing nice. Marie's voice was angry. Almost hateful.

"I only wanted to save his life. I..."

"Liar! You wanted to take 'im away from me! Give in! And I trusted you!"

Hotaru blinked. And blinked again. And stared in disbelieve at Marie. Heard again and again the words in her mind. She only wanted to save Kevin's life. She only wanted to save someone from the shadow's paws. She only wanted to help. But Marie didn't look thankful. She looked hating at her. Just like Cindy. Just like Akane. Just like all those other stupid pupils...

Is it right? Did I lose another good friend because of my weirdness?

Hotaru saw again a laughing Chibiusa before her eyes. Knowing that the princess didn't write one single letter since September. Since the day she arrived in America.

It's always my fault. Everything. Because I am a freak. A total freak...

"I loved 'im. But now, 'e only loves you!" screamed Marie and clenched her fists. She didn't look like the always grinning French student any longer. Now she only looked disappointed. And deeply hurt.

'e only loves you! 

Hotaru blinked again. Seeing again the cute couple under the cherry tree. Feeling again the deep pain inside her heart. Understanding exactly what Marie was feeling right now. But this time anger and pain wasn't necessary. Because Hotaru didn't love that Kevin. He was a nice guy and he knew how to handle horses like Sarah and Goliath. But he was nothing more. Hell, he was a guy. Hotaru didn't like boys at all. Only her uncle Sejya, little Tami-chan and the king of Crystal Tokyo. Because they belonged to her family. But falling in love with someone like Kevin? Impossible. She only loved one person in her whole life.

A laughing face flashed through her mind. Pink eyes stared trustfully at her while the little princess tried to steal her ice cream.

Hotaru loved only one person. And that person didn't love her in return.

She didn't even write one single letter...

"You took 'im away!"

Hotaru glanced back at Marie and shook her head. Then she started to laugh. She didn't know why, but suddenly it all seemed to be funny. So damn funny. Here was one girl who loved a boy. But that boy fell in love with someone else – with her. A total freak. A freak who fell in love with her best friend. Not only with her best friend. But also with another girl. With the princess of Crystal Tokyo. The future ruler of whole Japan. A freak who was rejected. Who wasn't needed on this world. Who saw shadows wherever she moved. And even if she wanted to help, she only caused trouble and pain. And hate. One look in Marie's eyes told her that she lost another good friend. That it was probably her destiny to be all alone for the rest of her life. That only her parents loved her, because she was their daughter. Not even their real one. Not like Yuki-chan...

"O, t'at's funny, isn't it?" shouted Marie at her, not seeing the desperate expression on the Japanese girl's pale face. Not hearing that the laughter soon turned into sad sobbing. "'ope you'll be 'appy with 'im, you total liar!" Marie raised her hand and slapped Hotaru right into the face. The taller girl winced back but couldn't stop laughing. It was all too crazy. Too stupid. Too ironically. She simply couldn't stop.

"I 'ate you!" With those words Marie swirled around and ran crying away. Hotaru stretched her arms towards her. She wanted her to stay. To explain all this mess she probalby couldn't find the right words for. But the door was closed loudly and Hotaru knew that she was alone.

The tall girl held her aching stomach tighter and laughed even more. Until her legs couldn't care her any longer and she went on her knees on the cold underground.

Now she was all alone.

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She saw the smile on his face. Saw how much he was happy to see her. But she didn't smile back. She felt empty inside. Empty and lost. Carefully she put the flowers in the vase and turned around to face him. Ignoring that he wanted her to sit down. Ignoring the asking expression flashing over his face. Ignoring that he was still in bed. In hospital. That she shouldn't be angry with him. That it wasn't his fault. That it wasn't no one's fault.

"Thank you that you saved me. Goliath simply..."

"It was Marie who showed me the way. Without her I wouldn't have found you at all."

"But..."

She sighed deeply and shook her head. It had to be said. Maybe she would hurt him deeply, but she knew that she had to tell him the truth. At least the truth about her feelings towards him.

"Kevin..." Hotaru took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. "You are a nice guy and I like you. It fascinates me how you handle Sarah and Goliath, because I am afraid of them. During the past weeks you got a very good friend of mine." She moved her hands to show him that he should stay quiet. "But you are nothing more, do you understand me? You are a very good friend and I don't want to hurt you. But I don't feel anything else for you." Hotaru crossed her arms before her chest. "I love someone else in Japan and I will never love you. So it's better you asked Marie to go with you to the promotion. Believe me, she won't say no. She's a smart girl. She likes you a lot and she doesn't deserve the way you treat her."

"But..."

Hotaru only grabbed her back bag and left the room. She had said everything she wanted to say. Maybe Kevin hated her now. Surely Marie hated her since that day she rescued his life. But it was alike to Hotaru. She knew that she would never have real friends. She was a freak, not normal. She saw shadows, she fell in love with another girl. She had strange powers no one understood. No one really wanted to know.

Better I'll get ready for the exam next week.

There were some more tests to write before the holidays. Hotaru knew that it was her only chance to escape her dark thoughts.

Even if it was the worst way.

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"You lazy chicken!"

"I can't believe that you only have to swim for some bloody minutes!"

"You are a real baby. Swimming with a swim ring!"

"You are a coward! Never you jumped from the tower!"

Hotaru took a deep breath. The teacher was away since two minutes. She got a phone call and told them to stay where they were. It was shortly before Christmas and as they got to know she had an ill son. A little boy who would return home for Christmas. And now she often had phone calls from the hospital telling her the results of different tests.

"Coward!"

Hotaru left the swimming pool when the teacher went over to another room. She had wrapped her towel around her shoulders and took a deep breath. She felt dizzy and knew that she had to get some rest. To take her daily medicine and to read some more books about the human brain. To get a good result at the test. At least there she didn't want to fail.

"Chicken!"

The tall girl tried hard to ignore Cindy and the rude girls standing around her. Pointing with their fingers at a hard breathing girl. Hotaru turned her head a little bit and saw Marie standing near the big windows. Staring out to a slightly cloudily sky. The accident was now one week ago. During all those days Marie didn't speak one word with her. She even changed her place in the class room. Now Hotaru was the only one who didn't have a partner any longer and even if she didn't cheated during the tests, she missed Marie a lot. Her laughing, her little letters during the sometimes boring lessons. Her understanding look whenever Hotaru didn't understand the foreign language and made a mistake and everyone started to laugh.

Why can't you forgive me?

Hotaru tried hard to talk to her. But Marie simply ignored him. Whenever Hotaru came to her with her lunch or her dinner, Marie took her own food and walked away. Whenever Hotaru tried to talk to her in their room, Marie pulled the blanket over her head and believed to sleep deep and tight. Whenever Hotaru simply tried to apologise for what she had done and for what she hadn't, Marie turned around and let her alone. There was no friendship any longer in blue eyes. Only hate and anger.

Damned!

"Coward..."

Hotaru took a deep breath and went over to Cindy who grinned at her.

"You call me a coward?" asked the tall girl with a dangerous quite voice. Everyone seemed to hate her. Everyone seemed to see a loser in her. A girl who couldn't do anything more than just learning stupid biological things by heart. A girl who misused other people.

"Of course. You never jumped from the tower." Answered Cindy and grinned even wider.

"Will you stop calling me this way when I jump?" Hotaru clenched her fists and put her towel down. She felt even more dizzy but she wouldn't give up. Not this time. Never again!

Cindy and the other girls exchanged glances. They all agreed silently that the dark haired girl only bluffed. That she wouldn't jump. That she was too afraid of the high tower.

"Yes, we will stop." Said Cindy finally and raised her eyebrows as the Japanese girl really went over to the tower. As she climbed the stairs. Not even to the lowest part, but to the highest diving-board.

"Hey, don't exaggerate." Laughed Cindy who still thought that it all was just a big bluff. That the Japanese girl would stand there and wait until the teacher would come back and tell her to come down. Without jumping.

Hotaru didn't listen to her. She reached the highest diving-board and took a deep breath. She felt exhausted. But not exhausted enough to forget the humiliation she had experience during the past months in this swimming hall. There had been Marie to cheer her up. But not even the French girl seemed to have any agreement left for her.

The tall girl went over to the rim and stared down into the calm water. Again she started to freeze and saw a dark shadow shinning on the water's reflection. Her shadow.

Hotaru smiled madly and went some steps back. Until she found her right position.

"Hey, you coward! Jump! Don't go back! That's unfair!"

From far beneath she heard Cindy's raging words. But they disappeared as Hotaru closed her eyes. She spread her arms and went on her tiptoes. Suddenly music filled her mind. Music she had always heard whenever she trained. Whenever she took part at a big championship. Whenever she showed all the audience how good she was. Whenever she showed her parents how much she had learned. That they could be proud of her.

The music increased and automatically she started to move. Her body didn't forget it. Of course it didn't. She loved the water for so many years. It was now two years ago that she broke down. That it was forbidden for her to make that sport any longer. Two years... this time was too short to forget everything she learned during the ten years before.

First step. Second step.

She concentrated and put all her strength into her arms. A smile boomed on her face and suddenly she felt happy and free.

Jump.

She ignored the pain flashing through her chest as her hands touched the hard underground. She found her balance and stood there for some seconds in a perfect handstand. Her hairs fell over her shoulders and she scolded herself. The jury didn't like to see that. That meant less points for her.

Holding the handstand.

Falling slowly forwards...

She pushed herself away from the tower and brought her legs to her chest. Happiness filled her soul as she flew through the air.

First salto.

Second salto.

Third salto.

She loved it to be swirled around in the air. Still the music filled her mind. Then she stretched herself and felt how she dove into the nice fresh water. In a perfect dive. She was sure that her feet didn't cause any splashes on the surface. It had been a perfect dive. Just like the one she had won the Japan's championships with. Only three years ago...

The music died away and all that remained was silence. Hotaru opened her eyes and saw the water around herself. Blurring her view. Her lungs needed fresh air and she wanted to return to the surface. But a sudden pain inside her chest paralysed her body. She couldn't move her arms any longer. It all hurt. Her view blurred even more and suddenly Hotaru had to grin. There was her shadow again. Swimming right over her.

Maybe it's better this way.

Hotaru saw again a laughing princess being happy that she won another bike race along the beach and the fear disappeared. She closed her eyes as the shadow finally reached her.

Maybe it's better...

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"Coward!"

Marie heard the angry voice of Cindy. But she didn't react. She didn't turn around. She only stood there and stared angry at the blue sky. Watching the little clouds passing by.

Hotaru est une fille adulte!

Hotaru was old enough to take care for herself. If she didn't like to be called such bad names by Cindy any longer, she had to say that. Marie wasn't her nursemaid. At least Hotaru had been old enough to steal Kevin from her. Now she had to live with the consequences!

"That's incredible..." Suddenly the whole atmosphere changed. Marie felt it. From one second to the other the anger appeared all that was left was surprise and amazement.

The blonde frowned and turned around. And saw how Hotaru stood in a handstand on the rim of the tower. How she let go and dove elegant into the water.

And didn't come to the surface again.

Marie felt how her throat tightened. Too well she remembered how Hotaru shook her head. Declaring that she didn't want to ride on Sarah. That she wasn't allowed to do so much sport, because her doctor had forbidden it. Slowly Marie came over to the rim. Just like the other girls.

"She's making a foul of us." Declared Cindy but her voice was uncertain, too.

Marie gasped for breath and put her towel away. She knew that Hotaru already swam her minutes. The time she was allowed to swim. And she knew how exhausted the Japanese girl always had been after that. That she had taken her medicine and needed the whole afternoon to rest to regain her strength.

Non...

"Call the teacher!"

Marie who didn't like the water a much and preferred to sit on a horse's back instead took a deep breath. Then she let herself fall into the water. She never learned a normal dive and so she was disorientated for some seconds. Until her eyes could see underwater. Immediately she saw the lifeless person floating within the water. Her arms were stretched to the surface and moved slightly by the motion of the water. Marie swam over to Hotaru and grabbed her under her arms. Then she pulled her to the surface and gasped hard for breath. The blonde wasn't a good diver. Nor a good swimmer. But the fear about the lifeless girl in her arms was stronger than every fear she had ever feared in the deep water.

"'elp me!" she shouted and the next moment different hands reached for the lifeless Hotaru and helped her out of the water. Just like they helped Marie. No one teased her around that her accent sounded strange. No one yelled at Hotaru. Not even the slightest word. Even Cindy was silent and looked very shocked. Her beautiful face was pale and tears sparkled in her eyes.

"Where's the teacher?" shouted another girl in excitement and suddenly they all were busy in searching for Linda. "Is she still breathing? Is she fine?"

Marie gulped and kneeled down next to Hotaru. Relieved she found the pulse and knew that the girl was only unconscious. Unconscious, not dead as she had feared first.

"Crétin!" whispered Marie and took the unconscious girl in her arms. The ground was too cold. Some other girls saw that and soon Hotaru was covered with warm towels. "Crétin..."

Hotaru was such a jerk! Why did she have to jump? She knew that her doctor only allowed to swim a little bit in the flat water. But to jump from the highest diving-board. Only because of Cindy and her stupid words!

"Are you satisfied now, Cindy?" Marie looked angrily at the pale politician's daughter. "Are you now satisfied that s'e jumped?" The French girl held her best friend a little bit tighter and sighed deeply. "Are you all now satisfied?" But no one answered. Suddenly a strange silence evolved in the swimming hall.

"What happened?" The door was pushed open and broke the terrifying atmosphere. Shortly after Linda had entered the swimming hall she knelt near Marie. Shortly she felt Hotaru's pulse and looked very concerned.

"What happened?" she wanted to know while she went over to her bag to get her phone. To call an ambulance. The girl was only unconscious but she didn't want to risk anything. Surely it was only a break down because she had done too much sport this afternoon. But Linda wanted to be sure. She read the girl's file and knew that one shouldn't joke with a weak body.

"Cindy made 'er jump!" declared Marie with an angry look on her face.

"But you didn't hinder her, you saint!" snapped Cindy back who didn't want to be the guilty person.

"Hey, I saw..."

"Shut up!" Linda looked extremely angry at her pupils. "Shut up you all! How could you dare!" Shortly she spoke with the hospital and nodded as they promised her to be there in less than five minutes. Then she turned against towards her deeply blushing class. "How could you dare! She had a bad heart attack two years ago and it's a wonder that she's still alive."

Marie frowned and looked into her best friend's pale face. Asking why Hotaru didn't tell her anything about that.

"And you let her jump!"

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"I love you."

She stood in her best friend's room. The princess sat behind her desk and seemed to make her homework. Or was she writing a letter? Hotaru didn't know. She didn't dare to ask. She didn't dare to speak after she confessed the pink haired girl all her feelings.

"But I don't love you!" snapped Chibiusa back, turning towards her. Her fists were clenched and hate sparkled in pink eyes. "I only love Helios! Can't you see that?"

Hotaru shook her head and tears shone in her dark eyes.

"No..." she whispered. Not believing what she had heard right now. "No..."

"Hai! I love Helios! He's strong. Not as weak as you. He doesn't see strange shadows. He doesn't bring me into danger each time I am together with him. He's loved and accepted by my parents." Chibiusa rose from the chair and went over to her. "So go! Just go and never return! I don't need you! No one needs a freak like you! No one!"

Hotaru clapped her hands over her ears. But she couldn't exclude Chibiusa's rude voice.

No...

"'otaru?" Suddenly there was another voice. A soft voice. Hotaru frowned and turned around. From one moment to the next Chibiusa's room was gone. Just like the princess disappeared. Together with the mad laughter that died away. "'otaru? Wake up!"

The tall girl frowned. She knew that voice from somewhere. The strange but the same time cute accent.

"'otaru!"

Pain flashed through her head and she squinted as she finally opened her eyes. Realising that it all had been just a nightmare. That she didn't tell Chibiusa how she really felt. That the princess didn't reject and scolded her for being so silly. For being such a freak.

It took Hotaru some moments to realize that she laid in a strange bed. That she wasn't in their room in at school. And the scent of disinfectant filled the air. The dark haired girl tried to sit up but she felt still too weak to move. Her right arm hurt and as she looked at it she saw the drip being connected to her pale skin.

Drip?

Hotaru groaned as she realized that she was in hospital. Slightly she remembered that she had been in the water and that her shadow embraced her there. And then? Then...?

"'otaru! You're awake! I am so 'appy!" There was a warm hand holding her cold left one tight. Hotaru looked over to the other side of the bed and saw Marie sitting there. Her hairs were a messed and her clothes looked crumbled. Her face was pale and there were traces on her cheeks as if she cried a lot.

Nani?

"Marie?" Hotaru's voice was very hoarse and she felt exhausted.

"'otaru! My dear 'otaru!" Marie started again to cry and held the hand tighter. It almost hurt but Hotaru didn't have the power to tell her that. "I am so sorry. I've been so stupide! I should 'ave known t'at you are not like Cindy and all the ot'er girls. T'at you're someone special. T'at you are my friend." Sobbed the French girl and tears wetted Hotaru's cold hand and warmed it. "But why did you 'ave to jump? Cindy's too stupide, you didn't 'ave to listen to 'er!"

Jump?

I did jump?

From the tower in the swimming hall?

Hotaru frowned but her memories were gone.

"Was it at least a good dive?" whispered Hotaru and smiled as Marie started helpless to laugh under her tears.

"It was the most perfect dive I've ever seen in my life, petite!" sobbed the blonde and shook her head. "But don't do it again, okay? I guess I won't survive anot'er shock like t'is one!"

"Shock?" Hotaru closed her eyes for some moments and sighed deeply.

"Yes. You fainted in the water and almost drown. Linda is very angry wit' all of us and I guess we'll all get bad marks." Marie shrugged her shoulders. "But t'at's okay. My mark 'ad never been great."

Hotaru nodded slightly and smiled at her.

"You aren't angry with me any longer?" she asked and squeezed the warm hand as Marie cried even more.

"Non, petite. Non!" she sobbed, forgetting that Hotaru couldn't understand her native language. "Non. I've been stupid and so jealous." The blonde smiled again. "Kevin asked me today to go with 'im to the promotion."

"That's fine." Hotaru was happy. She really was. Because Marie and Kevin would become a couple and the boy wasn't interested in her any longer. And Marie seemed to be her friend again. That was the most important fact for Hotaru.

Then her heart froze.

"My parents? Did anyone call them up?" she asked shocked and gulped. "I don't want them to be called up. They would be concerned and that's not necessary. I only had a little break down because I've overdone it. I don't want to terrify them!"

Marie frowned as she saw the dark haired girl's reaction. She knew that the famous formula one racer was her father. And the most famous violinist of Japan was her mother. But Hotaru never talked a lot about her parents. Sometimes Marie had the feeling that she was ashamed of them. Or, what seemed to be more obvious, that her parents were ashamed of them.

Maybe they don't want her any longer, because she's so weak?

Maybe they gave her to that private school, because she only hinders them at home? With their big careers?

Marie didn't know. She didn't dare to ask.

But why are they always writing so many letters?

The French girl never read any of them. She didn't know what they wrote. Maybe a lot of nonsense? Because Hotaru always looked so sad when she put them away. First Marie thought that it was Hotaru's homesickness. Now she wasn't sure about that any longer.

"Linda didn't call t'em up right now. S'e first wants to talk to you."

Hotaru closed her eyes again and let out the breath she held.

"Thank goddess." She whispered.

Marie only frowned and held her hand a little bit tighter.

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It was in the middle of the night. The full moon shone through the closed window. But the curtain was put aside and the moon's light shone directly on the dark piano. The proud of their music teacher. Hardly anyone was allowed to touch it. But after Hotaru showed Anne that she could play the instrument she was allowed to use it, too. But she had to ask first.

This time Hotaru didn't ask. She left the hospital in the morning. After a very long night. She felt already better but the doctors didn't trust her. So she had to stay longer than she wanted. She didn't find a lot of sleep. But a lot of time. To think. About her life. About her love to the princess of Japan. About her family and about her future. What she should do when this year was over. When she should return to Tokyo in summer.

Shall I return? Or is it better when I stay? When I do my final exams here in the states? When start to study here? When I find a job here after I finished university?

But that would mean that she would never see her parents again. Her daddy. Her mommy. Her Yuki-chan. That she would never see her crazy aunts again.

I can't simply disappear like that.

But she knew that she needed some more months to live with the pain in her heart. To be able to face Helios and Chibiusa being a cute couple. Before she could congratulate them for their big luck. Christmas was too early. She wouldn't return home for Christmas. But when the term was over, she would return. She missed her family too much to stay. She needed her family too much to leave them simply behind.

Only because of those bloody feelings!

Hotaru opened the piano and her hands laid calm on the keyboard. She knew that she could never deny her feelings. She could never deny herself. But she had to learn to live with them. It got better during the past weeks. During the long time she didn't talk to Chibiusa. She didn't see her wherever she walked. She didn't spent long nights with her watching horror movies. There had been even days when Hotaru didn't think of the cute princess at all. When she was busy with Marie and her horses. When she learned a lot for the next test. When she had lessons until the evening and then only took a shower and went to bed.

It's good that I came here.

But there were also times when she felt alone and miserable. When she wanted to cry every moment. When she wanted to take the next plane and return to Tokyo. To tell Chibiusa her real feelings. To get rid of the pain in her heart. Even if she was rejected afterwards.

It's all so confusing. So crazy!

She laid awake almost the past night in hospital. Thinking so much. And having the song her daddy wrote in her mind again. The one the lyric simply didn't fit. And suddenly the words were there in her mind. Simply there.

Hotaru took the crumbled sheet of paper out of her pyjama's pockets. She sneaked out of the room while the others were fast asleep. Cindy didn't apologise for her rude words. But she didn't tease her around any longer. She didn't say any cruel words again towards her. Hotaru was grateful for that. She was simply fed up with the silly behaviour of the politician's daughter.

It's simply perfect.

Hotaru changed some notes and her fingers slowly moved over the keys. As if she stroke the black instrument in front of her. She didn't need any light. The moon's shine was enough. She knew the words by heart. Just like the melody. She heard them a lot during the past twenty four hours. The instrument started to make music while she closed her eyes. Silent, very silent she begun to sing in a clear voice.

" It's a human sign

When things go wrong

When the scent of her lingers

And temptations strong "

Again she saw Chibiusa laughing at her. Showing her with pride her new guinea pig. Swimming with her in the ocean under their parent's attentive eyes. Throwing a ball at her and squeaking whenever she caught them in return. Eating an ice cream with her. Sneaking under her blanket and creeping into her embracement because she feared that a vampire could bite her after they watched the whole night scary movies.

There had been times when Hotaru had thought that there could be a happy end for her. That Chibiusa would understand and even return her feelings. That they would stay together for all of their lives. That no one could torn them apart. But she had been wrong. It simply didn't work. Chibiusa was the princess of Crystal Toyko. She fell in love with Helios, an honourable prince of Elysium. It was normal. It happened every day. It was a human thing that it didn't work. That it went wrong.

Although Hotaru would have done everything to change her life, her situation. To make Chibiusa change her mind. To make her little darling to love her.

" Cold, cold heart

Hard done by you

Some things look better baby

Just passin' through "

Hotaru ran away. Away from home. Away from her family. Away from her little darling. Because she hoped it would get any better. Not knowing that it all was a normal thing. That she simply had to pass it through. That she simply had to wait until the pain would stop one day.

Although Hotaru didn't believe that the deep hurt she felt inside her heart would ever stop.

" And it's no sacrifice

Just a simple word

It's two hearts living

In two separate worlds

But it's no sacrifice

No sacrifice

It's no sacrifice at all "

No, it was no sacrifice. It should never be one. Not for Chibiusa and not for her. Hotaru came to America and left her parents behind. She missed them like hell. Just the way she missed her little darling. But they lived in two different worlds now. Chibiusa as princess with a knight in shinning armour next to her. Hotaru wasn't royal. Not really. She was only a normal girl. No, not even a normal girl. She had no right to be more than Chibiusa's best friend. She should be grateful to be at least her friend. She should be grateful and stop to morn. Stop to run away. Stop to hope for something that would never happen.

No, it should have never been a sacrifice at all.

" Mutual misunderstanding

After the fact

Sensitivity builds a prison

In the final act

We loose direction

No stone unturned

No tears to damn you

When jealousy burns "

Hell, Hotaru had been so jealous when she had seen Chibiusa with Helios under that cherry tree. She only turned around and ran away. Deeply hurt. Not seeing any longer that Chibiusa stayed the same. That she was still her best friend. That she never knew about Hotaru's feelings and how much she hurt her.

She flew to America without letting Chibiusa know it. She didn't say goodbye, never wrote a letter. Not even called her up. She simply ignored her parent's letters for the first time and never mentioned Chibiusa in one of her letters she finally wrote back.

" Cold, cold heart

Hard done by you

Some things look better baby

Just passing through "

But, hell, it hurt so much. To see her with Helios. To know that she would never be hers. To know that she would lay in another guy's arms, not in her arms. That she would never have to right to kiss her. To hold her tight. To touch her. To live with her. To see her laying sleepy next to her whenever she woke up in the morning. Not to make breakfast for her. Only for her alone. Never to tease her around. Never be able to give her the little present she had now for so many years. Never be able to say those simply words to her: I love you.

And to hear her soft whisper in return: I love you, too.

" And it's no sacrifice

Just a simple word

It's two hearts living

In two separate worlds

But it's no sacrifice

No sacrifice

It's no sacrifice at all "

Tears burned behind Hotaru's lashes and her voice got quieter and shook slightly. It hurt too much to know that she wouldn't grow old with her little darling. That they would never leave the lives their parents had. That they would never have a little screaming baby around. Ruining their nerves. Being all their pride. A little girl that looked like them. Dark hairs and pink eyes.

That it all was impossible. Hotaru would stay alone for all of her life. She couldn't imagine to ever fall in love with someone else. Sure, she was young. Sure there were so many opportunities to find another nice girl. But she didn't want another girl. Another girl than her little darling.

Her little darling she would never be allowed to love the way she already loved her...

" No sacrifice...

No... "

Hotaru's voice broke and she broke the touch to the piano. She buried her burning face in her hands and let her tears fall. Damn, it hurt so much. She couldn't bare that pain any longer. It was as if her heart was torn apart. And she couldn't do anything against it.

No, it should have never been a sacrifice.

But it had become one for her.

Marie stood paralysed in the door frame and watched her in silence.

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"Salut, 'otaru." Marie sat down next to her on the table and put honey into her milk. Hotaru yawned and grinned back at her French friend.

"Konnichiwa, Marie." They liked it to say little words in their native language only they understood. It was their kind of trick.

"T'is evening is the promotion." Started Marie and reached for the sugar. Her tea wasn't sweet enough yet, but the honey glass was already empty. "Did anyone ask you to come wit' you?"

"No. But that's not a problem." Hotaru shrugged her shoulders and fought hard with her roll. Of course her roll won. After she spent almost the whole night at the piano she was very tired. "It's only a silly prom and all I will do is looking for the nice party food." Both grinned at each other and nodded agreeing. Soon they were the best friends again and quickly they forgot about their argument. It wasn't important any longer. It was forgotten and forgiven.

"T'en come with me."

Nani?

Hotaru raised her head and looked asking at her French friend.

"But I thought Kevin already asked you." She said and reached for another roll. She didn't get enough and especially not the best food in hospital and was very hungry. It was her first meal outside the hated building and she used her chance to eat as much as her stomach wanted to have. Her doctor told her that she could use it. She too thin for a girl of her seize.

"Oui. Mai... but I thought that we could go together there. After all it's only a prom." Marie blushed deeply and smiled encouraged.

"To go as a third-couple-there? Better not." Hotaru smiled back but shook determinedly her head. "You go with your sunny-boy and I'll come, too. Okay? We can meet there and steal all the delicious food before the banquet is already opened."

Marie didn't look convinced, but she knew that Hotaru could be very stubborn. And that it could be better to leave her alone.

"Okay. But I meet you t'ere. If not, I'll come to our room and kick you right into the dancing 'all."

"Alright."

Now they both laughed and enjoyed their food.

"Tenjou? Hotawu..."

"That's me!" Hotaru waved her hand as the boy came nearer. He held a big envelope in his hands. Although he gave her almost every day a letter from her parents he still didn't know who she was. And he couldn't pronounce her name right. After almost four months. Hotaru only rolled her eyes and signed up that she got the envelope.

Wow! This one is heavy! What did daddy put into it this time?

Hotaru glanced at the envelope and her heart sank. In disbelieve she stared at the neat writing. At the little pictures drawn in the corner. The person wasn't very talented but she had tried her best to drew all people of the big family. Minako with the big grin. Michiru with her violin. Haruka driving a fast car. Mayumi and Miyuki playing cards. Makoto making a delicious cake. Rei praying to the gods and arguing at the same time with the queen who waved her long plaits. The king who sat on the throne and ruled over the land. Ami healing little children. Sejya taking care for his wife and little Tami-chan. Chibiusa waving exited with both hands from the envelope. And Helios reading a book in a comfortable armchair.

Nani?

Little darling?

Hotaru frowned and her hands started to shake as she held the first letter she received from her best friend since September. It was very heavy and the tall girl suddenly wondered how much Chibiusa had written. If she only didn't write so long, because she wanted to send it all at once.

To my dear Taru-chan...

It was written over the whole envelope. It was a wonder that the post could read the address and that this envelope really came to her and not to anyone else. Or to another town.

Little darling...

Hotaru gulped and slowly rose from her chair. She wasn't hungry any longer with a sudden.

"W'at's up, 'otaru? Aren't you 'ungry?" asked Marie and stirred in her tea. She looked very tired, too. Some other girls had sat down at their large table, too and discussed now wildly over the coming promotion. Marie listened to them half hearted.

"No... uhm... I just got a letter and want to read it in peace." Shortly Hotaru glanced over to Cindy. But the girl didn't even try to humiliate her today. She only took her food to her own table, sat down and ate. Talking excitedly to her best friends about her dress she told them very loudly had been very expensive.

"Okay. I see you later in our room or at the promotion." Smiled Marie who got a little package just yesterday. From her brother. With the craziest photos of south Africa. Today were no lessons. Christmas was in less than five days and tomorrow the first people would return home. Just like Marie. She knew that Hotaru wanted to stay. She already asked her if she wanted to come with her to France but Hotaru didn't want to. She said that she wanted to learn the holidays. That she wanted to improve her knowledge. But Marie hadn't given up yet. There were more than 24 hours left. To convince her that she wouldn't stay in the empty school the whole Christmas holidays. That she simply had to come with her when her parents didn't want her at home.

It's a shame.

Marie watched how Hotaru grabbed her package and quickly left the room. Of course teacher Linda didn't call Hotaru's parents up. Hotaru begged so long until Linda was convinced that the girl was fine and that there was no need to concern her parents. Marie regretted that action. Maybe it should have been better to tell Hotaru's parents. To let them see that her daughter wasn't as okay as she mostly wrote them in her short letters.

Maybe they wouldn't have even answered the phone.

The longer Marie observed Hotaru the more she felt sorry for her. The more she started to be very, very angry with her parents.

At last she reached their room. She locked herself, knowing that Cindy and Marie would spend at least another hour with their breakfast. Then she sat down on her bed and ripped open the envelope with shaking hands. A lot of paper fell out. At least twenty pages. With neat, partly rough writing. In all colours of the rainbow. Chibiusa seemed to have used a different pencil whenever she continued to write on her mammut letter.

Hotaru smiled and imagined Chibiusa sitting on her bed, trying hard to write that letter. Chewing on her pencil time by time and watching her guinea piggy begging for more salad.

A photo fell out and Hotaru's smile froze as she saw the two persons on it. A pink haired girl smiled into the camera. A boy who was a little bit taller than her, stood right beside her. He smiled, too. And made a bunny with his left hand behind her head.

Helios?

Helios AND little darling?

Hotaru sighed deeply and leaned herself against the wall. Her whole body trembled and the picture escaped her hands. It landed somewhere on the carpet. But Hotaru didn't have the power to pick it up. To look at it again. To see the laughing couple on the picture. Surly Mamoru had taken it and that was surely the only reason why they didn't kiss on it.

Of course little darling wants to tell me. I am her best friend after all. She can't know...

For a long time Hotaru sat there. Listened to the wind playing with the last coloured leaves.

She can't know it. I never told her about my feelings...

Finally Hotaru opened her eyes again. Determinedly she put the papers away in her drawer. Closed it. Turned around and stared with blank eyes at the picture still laying on the ground.

It's all a bad joke. It must be a silly nightmare!

But she knew it wasn't.

Hotaru grabbed the picture and some of her clothes and disappeared inside the bathroom.

Akane had been right. Cindy had been right. I am a total freak! I am in love with a girl who's happy with her boyfriend! That's not normal! Neither my feelings nor the shadow!

The tall girl covered the mirror and started to shower.

They're all right. I am a freak. So let's show them!

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"And you said her that she shall come?" Kevin handled Marie a glass of orange juice and looked asking around.

"Oui!" Marie glanced at the big clock hanging on the wall of the huge dance hall and sighed deeply. "Just give 'er some more minutes. S'es always a little bit late."

They both looked at each other and sighed again.

"The last weeks had been a little bit crazy." Admitted Kevin who didn't feel right in his grey suit. Just like most of the boys wore this evening. Grey, black, dark blue. Some of them even wore blue green. They all looked very elegant in those nice clothes. And Kevin simply looked great. He had brushed his brown hairs but they already looked messed. Marie could hardly resist the felling to stroke through the wild strands.

"Oui. But I guess t'at's normal for Christmas' weeks." Smiled Marie and blushed deeply as Kevin made her a compliment to her great look. The pink dress was screaming and surely it would have looked ugly to every other girl. But it simply fitted perfectly to the French girl. She had curled her hairs and they fell open over her shoulders. A bright smile bloomed on her face and she marbled a silent "Mercy". Kevin blushed, too, and held his own orange juice tighter.

The music was playing and different people already danced over the dance floor. Some other stood next to the huge banquet. The food was really delicious and Marie asked herself for the thousandth time where Hotaru was. The promotion started now one hour ago and they all had great fun. They all were having a great fun and no one was missing. Even their swim teacher Linda was there. With a little boy and a concerned husband by her side. All teachers cared loving for the boy while Linda and her love danced, too.

Even Cindy kept quiet. She chatted a lot with her friends and flirted a lot with different boys, but she didn't start an argument with the French girl. Nothing. Not a bad word, not a bad look. Not even the feeling that she was angry. Probably Hotaru's break down had cured her a little bit, as Kevin once said.

"Do you want to dance with me?" asked Kevin with a sudden and blushed again. Marie glanced again at the clock. Then she nodded and followed him to the dance floor. It was a very slow, a very tender song. It seemed to last eternity and they both enjoyed it. Slowly they rocked over the dance floor and looked deep into each other's eyes. Not noticing how someone stepped through the opened door. How Cindy's eyes sparkled and how the girl only bite on her lower lip. How her lips curved in an amused smile, but that she could hold back her evil laughter. Her best friends looked rather shocked.

Finally the song ended and they both separated. Still deeply blushed.

"Do you want another juice?" asked Kevin and they both went over to the banquet.

"Oui." Smiled Marie, not letting go of Kevin's hand. It was so nice soft. So nice warm. This was all she had ever dreamed of. To dance with him. Maybe the whole evening.

She stopped with a sudden as she saw the person standing next to the banquet. Looking thoughtful down at the rolls with cheese and little bit wiped cream.

Hotaru?

Marie raised surprised her eyebrows. The Japanese girl looked total different this evening. She looked like a total stranger. Once she had shown Marie the cute dark dress she owned. But she didn't wear it tonight. Instead she wore a black suit. No, not a suit. It looked more like a uniform. Hotaru looked more like a Japanese soldier... how where they cold? Samurai? Today she looked more like a samurai. Only the sword was missing. She had put her hairs together in a typical Japanese knot in her neck and looked suddenly like a guy. Or at least, like a tomboy. She seemed to have used a very narrow bra, because there was no female outline any more under the black top.

Qu'est-ce qui est arrivé?

What happened?

Marie frowned even more as Hotaru took a roll and turned over to them. And smiled brightly. But somehow that smile looked wrong. It was only a facade. Only a grimace. It didn't come right from her heart.

"Salut, Marie. Do you enjoy the evening, Marie? Hello, Kevin. The music is fantastic. And the food simply delicious." Said Hotaru but it all sounded wrong in Marie's eyes. One look into Kevin's puzzled face told her that she wasn't the only one who was so confused.

"Salut."

"Hello."

"Those cheese rolls are simply delicious. You should try them, too." Hotaru took another one and ate slowly. She didn't look very hungry. Marie suddenly asked herself where the Japanese girl had been the whole afternoon. What she had done. Because she didn't see her the whole day. And now she was even later to the promotion than she had been. Although Kevin waited full ten minutes for her because her hair wasn't done in time.

"That's a Japanese uniform, isn't it?" asked Kevin finally and stared angrily at a guy who made a funny face behind Hotaru's back. The girl nodded proudly and spread her arms.

"My mommy made it for me last year. I almost feared that it's too small for me now but I guess I didn't grew during the past year."

Marie frowned even more and the panic grew inside her chest. Made her feeling ill. Shortly she and Kevin exchanged glances while Hotaru took a third roll. Marie shrugged her shoulders and nodded finally.

"So, when that's tradition, it's nice to get to know it. Well... this is American tradition." Kevin pointed over to Cindy and her very, very expensive looking dress. "So, do you want to dance with me? It would be an honour for me."

Dance?

In that outfit?

With me?

A freak?

Is he mad?

Hotaru blinked. The roll escaped her hands as she saw the he meant it. And that Marie didn't look angry at all. That she looked... concerned?

Are they both mad?

Without saying another word Hotaru turned around and ran away. As fast as she could. As fast as she had been before her bloody heart stopped to work properly over two years ago. The air was fresh outside. Nice fresh. The sun already set and filled the whole schoolyard in a orange light.

It loos so beautiful.

Hotaru gasped for breath and sat down on the rim of the fountain. There was still water inside. It wouldn't freeze over the winter here. Because the winters were very warm in this state of America. Silently Hotaru stared at her reflection in the water's calm surface. Seeing the pale girl in the dark suit. Looking more like a boy than a girl. Looking very sad and alone. Alone...

The memory of a closing door flashed through her mind. But it was gone before she could catch it. Before she could wonder why it had been.

The sunset is beautiful.

I am ugly.

She sighed deeply and reached inside her chest pocket. Slowly she pulled the photo out that made her crazy the whole day. That told her that she didn't change during the past months. That it all was senseless. That she couldn't change her heart. The same way she couldn't change her whole self. It was alike how long she would stay in America, she would always love the little princess. She would always feel miserable whenever she saw her together with her prince.

I ran away from home. I miss my family so much. I told them that I won't come home for Christmas. And it's all in vain. It's all for nothing!

Tear shimmered in her dark eyes and the picture shook in her hands.

I tried it so hard. But I simply can't bury my love for her. It's impossible. The same I can't bury that damn pain in my soul...

"Hotaru?"

"Petite?"

The tall girl winced wildly as she heard suddenly two concerned voices behind her. She didn't hear them come. Shortly she turned her head and stared at Marie and Kevin. Then she looked again away. They shouldn't see the tears now running down her cheeks.

"'ey, w'at's up, petite?" asked Marie concerned and stepped a little bit nearer. Looked over Hotaru's shoulder, glancing down on the picture in her hands. Seeing the beautiful boy and the cute girl. "W'o are t'ey?"

"Once my best friend..." whispered Hotaru and lowered her head.

Kevin frowned. Remembered again how Hotaru declared him that there was someone in Japan she loved. That she couldn't love him, because of that person. That he should fall in love with Marie instead.

"You love him, right?" he asked and sighed slightly. "And she took him away from you."

Hotaru shook her head and some tears fell on the photo.

"No, I don't love him." She marbled and felt as sad as she hadn't felt before in her life. "Not him." She admitted quietly. For the first time in her life aloud. Not only in her mind. Not only to her toy. But to living persons.

Kevin and Marie exchanged glances and both gulped.

"Come, let's go into the 'all again. It's getting cold, petite." Said Marie finally and put her hand on Hotaru's shoulder. The tall girl pushed her away and jumped from the rim. Staring with big eyes at them.

"I don't think that I should go back into the hall again! I don't belong to people like you! I am different! Didn't you understand? I am a total freak! You shouldn't hang around with me!"

"Only because you wear a Japanese uniform? Common, 'otaru. Look at my dress." Teased Marie and held her skirt a little bit up. The screaming pink looked even brighter in the sun's setting light.

"You're just like us." Kevin looked again at the picture. "You fell unhappy in love. But don't worry, that happens to all people all the time." The boy stroke through Marie's blonde hairs and blushed. "But sometimes we find someone else we like even more."

Marie smiled back and blushed, too.

I will never find someone else!

Hotaru gulped and shook her head again.

"Didn't you understand? I am a bloody lesbian!" It was a scream. A desperate scream. More tears streamed over her pale cheeks. Now it was out. Finally out. For the first time spoken out aloud. But neither Kevin nor Marie looked shocked.

"Now I understand why you were so angry with me in the hospital." Whispered Kevin after a long time. But there was no hate in his brown eyes. Only understanding and... friendship?

"And I wanted to show you every guy on this promotion." Marie started to giggle and grabbed Hotaru's arm before she could react. "W'y didn't you tell me sooner, petite? Now I 'ave no idea w'at kind of girl you prefer." She giggled even more as she saw Hotaru's stunned expression.

Nani?

"It's really bad w'en you read a book w'ile I am talking about my family." Smiled Marie and wiped away some tears from her best friend's face. "Jérome isn't only my brot'er's best friend and studies with 'im in Africa, 'e's also 'is boyfriend." Shortly Marie looked over to Kevin. He only indicated her to go on speaking. He wasn't so great in words. And she knew Hotaru better than he did.

"I don't 'ave any problems with gay people, petite." Determinedly Marie pulled a still surprised Hotaru with her. The tall girl had expected that they both would scream at her. Hate her. Beat her. But nothing happened. They were so damn understanding.

Arigato, you two.

Hotaru didn't know what to say. Marie saw it. She only smiled and squeezed her arm tighter.

"So t'ere's only one t'ing I 'ave to ask you." Said the French girl and giggled as she saw Hotaru's asking look. "It's okay t'at you don't want to dance with Kevin. But would you be so kind and dance wit' me?"

At that moment the first honest smile appeared on Hotaru's face. Shortly she glanced over to Kevin and finally nodded.

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"I heard that you can play the piano so well." Suddenly Cindy stood in front of her. Hotaru and Marie just finished their dance and Kevin gave them something to drink. It was normal that two girls danced with each others. Girls were different from boys. Some of them didn't get a boy to dance with and so they simply took their best friend. Everyone knew that no one asked Hotaru to come to the promotion so it was natural that she danced with Marie she spent most her free time with.

"Well..." Cindy looked embarrassed and played with the crumbled sheet in her hands. "I want to sing a song and no one knows the notes. And I don't have them. Only the text."

Hotaru thanked Kevin for the orange juice and glanced shortly that the title.

"It's from a musical, isn't it?"

"Yes." Beamed Cindy and suddenly she looked beautiful, too. The beautiful she had always looked – when one ignored her dark character. But maybe, maybe she wasn't that dark? Maybe she learned her lesson? Maybe they could become friends, too? For the rest of the term? For the following half year? Then it would be easier to share one room.

"There's only one problem." Smiled Hotaru suddenly very cheeky, because she knew that song by heart. Aunt Minako had sung that very often. Once she had made a tour where she had sung different musical songs. Together with Sejya and other well known singers. All around the world. It had been a great success. And of course Haruka had to accompany her with her piano. During that time Hotaru learned them all by heart.

"And that is?" Cindy's smile broke and disappointment sparkled in her eyes.

"Do you really want to dress yourself as a cat to sing that?"

At that moment Marie imagined Cindy as a purring cat and burst out into laughter.

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Again she had to cough. Again she searched for a handkerchief. Again she leaned back on her bed and asked herself why for heaven's sake she got a flu. Why she and not anyone else. All where healthy. All were preparing a great Christmas. All left the house in the morning to get the last presents or the food. Makoto planned a big dinner and it needed more than just one senshi to carry the huge bags home. Michiru and Minako had another rehearsal. The concert would take part at Christmas day. Just three more days. In two days was Christmas Eve. The festival of love. The day one should spend with the persons one loved.

The persons I love...

Haruka coughed again and snorted heavily. Her head felt like it would explode during the next moments and she knew that she still had high fever. Ami didn't look very happy but she told her that she could spend Christmas with them if she took care of her and stayed in bed.

The persons I love...

May-chan and Yuki-chan where in the temple to help Rei with the decoration of the old building. Mostly Michiru brought them to the priestess and fetched them up when the rehearsal was over. Because Haruka needed her peace. And they didn't want that the girl got such a bad flu, too.

The persons I love.

Haruka coughed again and closed her burning eyes for some moments. As she opened them she stared for a long time at the letter laying in her lap. A small, a very short letter. She had hoped that Hotaru would write her the time they had to fetch her up at the airport. But instead she only wrote that she wouldn't come home at all. That she wanted to learn instead. Because the tests were so hard and she didn't want to fail.

All lies. These are only bloody lies!

The tall blonde cursed under her breath and slowly came on her feed. The whole world swirled around her, but she didn't gave in her dizziness. Instead she reeled over to the big wardrobe and opened it. Most of the clothes in there belonged to her wife. Michiru had a lot of dresses. Haruka was satisfied with the trousers and shirts she owned. Only time by time Michiru could grab her and pull her into a boutique to get some more clothes. Mostly Haruka tried to prevent that. But even she had to give up time by time. Especially when her wife was determined to buy her a new suit for her concerts.

If Himme-chan really thinks that she can get rid of us so easily, she's wrong!

Haruka pulled the top of her pyjama over her head. Then she stripped the pants and watched for a long time into the wardrobe. Not knowing what to wear. Sure, it was cold outside. It snowed the whole last week and now Tokyo was covered with a white blanket. But the same time the fever made Haruka sweat. She felt hot inside and didn't want to wet her clothes.

Okay, first of all, underwear.

She bowed for her knickers and a sport bra and almost fell down as the dizziness increased inside her head. But finally she was able to get them on.

Shirt? Pullover? Pants?

Puzzled she looked into the room and couldn't remember what else she needed for such a journey.

"Baka?" Without knocking Sejya entered the room. And blushed deeply as he saw Haruka standing there. Almost naked. "Gomen..." he blushed deeply and turned around.

"That's what you get for being so impolite!" Haruka grabbed for the next pullover and threw it at him. "Hope you got the shock for your life!" She took a deep breath that sounded ill and coughed again. Then she pulled a white shirt out of the wardrobe and tried to button it. Suddenly all the buttons were so tiny and it was hard for her to close them.

"Hey, I only wanted to look if you're already dead because of your silly flu." Answered Sejya angrily and bowed to pick up the dark green pullover. It fitted perfectly to Haruka's eyes. That was surely the reason why Michiru bought them some weeks ago.

"What a pity! I am still alive!" coughed Haruka and reeled slightly. She tried to get into her pants, but failed and fell on the ground. Sejya rolled his eyes and turned around again. To help her up. And to look in disbelieve how wrong she had buttoned the shirt. She had simply overseen some buttons and it all looked like a big mess. Shortly he looked into feverish shinning eyes and shook his head.

"What the hell are you doing, baka? Didn't you hear Ami's words? You should stay in bed! Why are you getting dressed?"

"You pervert! Shall I go in my pyjamas to the airport?" growled Haruka but had to grin over her own joke. Although it hadn't been her best one. But she was too ill to think of a better one.

"To the airport?" Sejya frowned because suddenly there was an expression on Haruka's face he had never seen before. It looked so sad. So defeated.

Defeated? Tenô Haruka and defeated?

"Hai. To go to America and to fetch Hotaru up." Haruka finally got into her pants while Sejya grabbed her shoulders and held her tight. Then she sat down on the untidy bed and held up a sheet of paper. A letter as Sejya recognized as he grabbed it.

"Himme-chan wrote that she won't come home for Christmas." Haruka sighed deeply and searched for her shoes. Wondering how she should get them on. "I can't accept that!"

"Why don't you wait for Michiru?"

"Until midnight? That's too late then. You know how long Michi-chan's always at the opera. And in two days is already Christmas Eve. If we hurry up we can be back this night so that she can relax a little bit from the time difference before we start to celebrate." Explained Haruka and her green eyes sparkled determinedly. Sejya knew how stubborn the tall blonde could be. And that he couldn't change her mind. Only Michiru could do that. But the violinist wasn't around yet.

"So you really want to go to America to fetch your daughter up? Although Hotaru doesn't want that? Don't you think you exaggerate?"

Haruka sighed deeply and bowed for her shoes she finally found under the bed. She almost fell down the bed. But Sejya was quick enough to held her back.

"Hell, you have high fever, baka. Don't you think, you should stay in bed and leave it the way it is? Hotaru's old enough to decide what she wants."

"But she's unhappy." Whispered Haruka and bowed for the second shoe. After Sejya held her again tight she searched now for her pullover.

"That's dangerous, baka. With your fever!" Sejya stood up again and tried to take away the pullover from her hands. But she was still extremely strong. Even in her weak state of body right now.

"What would you do if your Tami-chan would be there? If he simply declared you that he wants to stay over Christmas, THAT festival of the year, in an empty school? What would you do, if you'd know that your Tami-chan is unhappy?" Dark eyes looked directly at Sejya and the young man sighed deeply.

"Okay, you won." He marbled and stepped nearer to her. "Well, Michiru will kill me anyway. She will kill me when she gets to know that I let you go. So I can come with you. So that she has a real reason for killing me."

Haruka looked surprised at him. Then she grinned a feverish grin.

"Oh, I don't mind if she'll kill me. It's always so funny..."

Sejya blushed as he realized that she was talking of something completely different. As she saw his expression she started to giggle and shook her head. Just to regret that motion immediately. She coughed again and searched for her handkerchief. "I'll take all responsibility."

"As if you've ever been responsible." Sejya held her tight as she reeled again and lead her over tot he bed. Than he opened her shirt again and buttoned it the right way. Then he put a thick pullover over her head and corrected the collar.

"You don't have to come with me, baka." Growled Haruka and took another handkerchief.

"Of course I don't have to." Answered Sejya and held her right arm as she reeled over to the door. "But you know me. I simply love it to dance on your nerves as often as I can."

Haruka only snorted and groaned slightly.

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Sejya couldn't believe that they really sat in an plane. That they were really in the air. On their way to America. To the place where Hotaru lived right now. In a well known, expensive private school.

The singer couldn't believe that they were still alive.

Of course Haruka wanted to drive her Ferrari. She didn't drink alcohol nor did she take any drugs. Only rusk, but that probably wasn't a real drug. So she took the keys and simply sat behind the steering wheel. Because the police wouldn't jail her for driving with fever. No law told her that she wasn't allowed to drive with fever, an aching had and a flu. Sejya couldn't convince her and so he sat next to her on his own seat. Sweating and praying to the gods. Haruka listened to wild punk music and Sejya was almost deaf and almost threw up his breakfast when they finally arrived the airport. A short argument with a young man selling the tickets and ten minutes later they really sat in the plane. Haruka paid a fortune for their tickets but it didn't seem to be a lot for the young car racer. Then they started to argue because Haruka wanted to look out of the window and Sejya wanted to have that seat, too. But Haruka was quicker and now Sejya sat at the gangway. Looking very depressed and asking himself why he really sat here. Next to Haruka. Going to America. Just to catch up Hotaru and to return.

I must be crazy.

Sejya watched the stuardess handling some other passengers nice drinks. The singer was thirsty, too and so he stared a little bit too greedy. A young woman handled him his drink, a cool coke, a little bit earlier and he blushed and marbled an arigato.

Why am I doing this crazy stuff? Michiru is going to kill me. Surely she will kill me!

Someone leaned against shoulder and as Sejya turned his head he could see that Haruka feel asleep. She breathed hard and her face was redden from the fever.

Why am I helping her?

Sejya closed his eyes and remembered a time that had been the worst time in Haruka and Michiru's lives. After their lost their child. In the fourth months of Michiru's pregnancy. It had been a little girl as Haruka once told him. Michiru didn't know about the gender. She didn't want to know if she lost a daughter or son. It had been already hard enough for them. One month after the tragic incident Michiru could leave the hospital and went on tour. For about three months. To see anything else than the house she had killed her first child. Their own child. Michiru felt guilty, although the doctor told her that such things could happen. That Michiru's body was simply too weak to support a child in her womb. One week after Michiru left Haruka gave Hotaru to Minako and Ami and disappeared for the next 14 days. All senshi thought that she had another important race with her car. It was chance that Sejya found her in the hospital. He had have a bad flu and was there for the last appointment with his doctor to show him that he was alright again and that he could take part in another concert with Minako. Sejya remembered too well how shocked he had been when he passed the door to Haruka's room and heard the loud violin music playing inside. Automatically he had looked into the open room and had seen the tall tomboy laying in the bed. As fragile as he hadn't seen her before in his life. Her right arm was connected to a drip and she had been very pale in her face. Her dark green eyes had sparkled and expressionless she had stared at the white ceiling. Sejya knew that she didn't have an accident at the race track nor an illness. Neither the TV nor the other senshi told him. So it could have only been one thing: Haruka went into hospital to get pregnant herself. To try to do the impossible. To try to full fill her and Michiru's greatest dream after her wife lost their first child. Haruka went there all alone. With no one letting know it. For the case that she would have lost that child, too. Michiru should have never got to know about it. She didn't want to tell anyone – even if she became pregnant. Not until the doctor would tell her that she was safe – and the little life growing inside her belly, too. Sejya could remember too well Haruka's stunned face as he simply stepped into her room. They never liked each other a lot. And after Sejya's family returned to their home planet it got worse. Sejya envied Haruka for her nice family. For all her friends and for the luck that occured to her. But that day she had looked the way he felt inside: Lost, empty and frightened. Hai, Tenô Haruka had looked frightened. And she didn't start to argue with him. She only stared at him and watched how he told him how great Hotaru was doing at home. That she helped Minako to make dinner. That she guarded the whole time over Mayumi who ran with passion through the whole house. There had been other days Sejya returned. He came back every day at three in the afternoon and stayed until almost eight in the evening. They didn't talk much in that time. Mostly Sejya brought a newspaper with him and read every article he thought that would be interesting. Soon they both knew more about the British queen than every British people surely did.

14 long days. Sejya could hear the doctor talking without seeing him standing in the shadows. He heard how the doctor said to another one that the chances were good. That Haruka's body was strong enough to carry a child. That he didn't see any problems – as long as she would really get pregnant.

Sejya would never forget the sparkle in those green eyes he once hated so much as he returned for the last time. Some days before Haruka was allowed to leave the hospital. She had listened to Michiru's violin music again. With a happy smile on her face. As he sat down that afternoon to read again in the newspaper, she only showed him a small, white package. There was a pink sign in the middle. Sejya had raised asking his eyebrow and Haruka only nodded. With such a pride in those green eyes. For the first time he embraced her. They both started to laugh and Haruka only marbled a small arigato. It was the biggest praise Sejya ever received in his life.

The plane changed its direction and the young singer took another gulp of his coke.

Why am I helping her?

Then he sighed slightly and remembered another time when she had been the one being there for him. When she rescued his life. He really wanted to die. He already held the gun in his hands as she simply pushed the door open and put the gun away. In the last second. She, his worst enemy, the one who argued without pause with him, rescued him. She shouted at him and as he lost his hold, she took him into her strong arms and comforted him. She, the one he hated the most, because she showed him the truth, that Usagi only loved Mamoru and would never love him, actually comforted him. She was there. Simply there. The whole time he spent in hospital, she visited him. She was there – together with the other senshi. One time she had been alone there. She bought him flowers and sat down on his bed. And talked to him. For hours. She tried to gave him back his will to live. His courage and his strength. For the first time Sejya had seen concern in dark green eyes – concern about him.

Why am I helping her?

Still they both argued with each other. Still they used every chance to shout at each other. To tease each other around. But there wasn't hate any longer between them. Not the hate that had evolved when they both fought against Galactica. When Sejya fell in love with Usagi or at least believed to fall in love with the innocent, always laughing girl. And Haruka didn't let him near the future queen of Crystal Tokyo. Later on when Sejya stayed on earth and saw how much Haruka enjoyed her life being a wife and a daddy – and he was nothing. Only a singer. A lonely singer full of bitterness. But during just one year everything changed. Haruka showed him in hospital that even she, the strongest of all senshi, could be vulnerable. That she could fear, too. And be happy. Be a proud mommy showing her huge belly around. She rescued his life and after he felt better and was allowed to leave the hospital again, he asked her if he was allowed to touch her belly – she let him. It was incredible to feel that tiny life growing inside her belly. Inside her strong body. It was just the following year that he went to the light house by the sea and Kakyuu opened the door. Smiled at him. Declared silently that she missed him. Sejya never asked but he was sure that it was partly because of Haruka that the princess returned to earth – her real home.

Of course, Haruka and Sejya still argued. They called each other baka or jerk and even as Haruka teased Sejya around that Tamahoe was only a boy, they only played with each other. Sejya would have never broken Haruka's arm. Not only longer. Because now, after all those years, they became friends.

Why am I helping her?

Sejya reached for a blanket and pulled it carefully over Haruka's sweating body.

Because we have to help each other.

Then he leaned back and stared at his coke glass. Knowing that he had to call his wife up as soon as they landed in the far away land. That at least Kakyuu knew where they were. That she wasn't too much concerned about them. And that one person could warn Michiru and prepare her that she shouldn't kill him when they would return later that day. In the deep night. Hopefully with Hotaru by heir side.

We have to be there for each other.

Sejya drank another gulp and started automatically to hum a sweet melody. A song he once wrote for his Tami-chan. To make him sleep better.

Because that's what friends are for.

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"You 'ave to come with me to France!" insisted Marie as they both walked over the school yard. Marie's plane would leave the next day early in the morning. But Hotaru only shook her head. She didn't want to do anything during the school holidays. Nothing more than reading some biological books and asking herself why she really was such a coward. Why she ran away from home. Okay, she wasn't strong enough to face Chibiusa right now. Not together with Helios. But, hell, she missed her parents. Her cute little sister. Yuki-chan. Just like she missed May-chan. And her crazy aunts and uncles.

It's too late. I can't go home now.

Hotaru sighed deeply.

But daddy told me to call her up whenever I needed her help.

Hotaru sighed again.

No, I can't do that. I can't simply call them up after the letter I wrote. I simply can't...

"Everyt'ing okay, petite?" frowned Marie. The promotion had been great. Hotaru had to play the piano the whole evening. Not only Cindy sang along to her play. Almost the whole school wanted to sing or to dance to Hotaru's play and the Japanese girl was the star of the evening. Everyone thought that wearing the strange uniform was a typical Japanese tradition and so no one asked further. Hotaru had laughed a lot that evening and looked really happy. But now... the whole day she was very quiet and the expression on her face was very sad. Marie thought to know that Hotaru didn't want to stay all alone in the school. That she wanted to go home. But for any reason that she couldn't go.

Marie didn't want to ask. She knew that Hotaru wouldn't give her any answers. But the French girl assumed that Hotaru's parents knew that their daughter was gay. Gay with a weak body. That they sent her far away to get rid of her. And that Hotaru suffered a lot because of their ignorance. Marie didn't like Hotaru's parents yet. The same way she didn't want to see Hotaru's sad face any longer. That's why she tried to convince her the whole day to come with her to France. Her mother wouldn't have anything against her. Hotaru was a nice girl who didn't demand a lot. Only a bed and something to eat. Marie already had a nice Christmas present for her and Marie's grandfather would love the Japanese girl. He once had been in Japan, too. During the wall. And besides it had been a hard time he fell in love with the green land.

"Hai."

No, nothing is alright!

Hotaru sighed again but tried to smile to her French friend.

"I was just... thinking..."

Marie only nodded and tried again to talk to her. About her land. And that her mother would surely pay the fly to France and back. And even if she wouldn't, Marie would pay it. Hotaru didn't listen to her words. Not really. Her thoughts drifted away. To a little girl with pink hairs. Playing with her mash. Smiling up to her best friend who tried to feed her. Usagi and Michiru stood right behind the table while Mamoru and Haruka took different pictures.

I love her.

Since that very day she had seen Chibiusa the first time – a little bundle with shinning pink eyes – she fell in love with her.

Again Hotaru saw her daddy sitting on her bed. Every evening. Telling her a good night story. No, not telling, but playing that story. Speaking with different voices and acting like a little girl or like an old woman. Hotaru had laughed a lot. Just the way she had enjoyed all those days she had spent sitting on the carpet of her mommy's music room. Listening with big eyes her mommy's violin play. Just the way she had enjoyed every time a little girl jumped into her wide opened eyes. Yuki-chan often misused her as her plane and loved it to be swirled around by her.

Mommy.

Daddy.

Yuki-chan.

I miss you so much.

Even if Marie was a very good friend. She and Kevin. And slowly even Cindy changed. There was a very good chance that they would become good friends during the coming months, too. But they all couldn't replace her family.

I miss you...

She didn't hear the car brake violently. She didn't hear a low voice shouting around that he didn't want to visit god that soon. That this was America, not the race track. Hotaru was so deep in her self-pity and her dark thoughts that she didn't notice how Marie stopped beside her and stared with opened mouth at the two persons crossing the school yard. Yelling at each other in a language the French girl didn't know. But it sounded like her best friend's curses whenever she forgot that she was in the United States and not in her home country.

"Himme-chan?"

Hotaru froze in motion as she heard the low voice saying quietly her name. Slowly she raised her head and stared in disbelieve at the tall blonde standing there. The dark blue pants were crunched and the shirt dirty. With brown spots. Like a coke being splashed over her. Blonde hairs were messed and dark green eyes sparkled. Hotaru shook her head in disbelieve and suddenly her view was blurred.

That can't be true. This must a vision. An illusion. A...

Desperately she started to sob. He legs couldn't carry her any longer, but she didn't fell down. Two strong hands embraced her and held her tight. She felt the warm body next to her one and grabbed that dirtied shirt, too. Cried desperately. Hearing Haruka's soft voice in her ears. Again and again.

"I am here, Himme-chan." Whispered Haruka with a big lump in her throat and held her daughter tight. Rocking her. Trying to comfort her.

It had been the right decision. The letter hadn't been Hotaru's seriousness.

"I'll take you home, Himme-chan. Yuki-chan already made cookies. They're simply delicious. You have to try them." Hotaru only sobbed harder and Haruka held her a little bit tighter. Feeling some tears escaping her eyes and running over her cheeks as well.

I missed you so much, my little princess. So much...

Sejya turned away. His eyes sparkled, too. It was alike for him if Michiru would really kill them when they would return. But to see Haruka happy again, that was worth it. Although the singer assumed that Michiru wouldn't argue very long, but take her daughter into her arms as well.

We saved Christmas!

Sejya grinned and looked at the blonde staring confused at her.

"Are you 'otaru's fat'er?" asked the girl and Sejya needed some seconds to understand the foreign language together with the strange accent.

"Daddy?" he laughed and shook his head. "I am her uncle. The one embracing Hotaru is her daddy." He explained. "And you are?"

"Marie. Marie d' Antes." Marie frowned and looked over to the two persons. Showing so much love for each other. As Hotaru grabbed harder on the shirt Marie could see female outlines under the cloth. Marie frowned and looked asking at Sejya who went back to their car. He held the keys up into the air. Determined that Haruka would not drive this time. He would drive them to the airport. To make sure that Hotaru would return home – alive. He still felt very sick, because the worst Haruka felt the faster she drove. Drove? No, raced!

The French girl frowned even more as she watched her best friend being reunited with her daddy. Her daddy who obviously loved her. Her daddy who made all the long way from Japan to take her home for Christmas. Her daddy who was obviously a woman. Something Marie didn't see on the photo standing on Hotaru's desk. But she had seen her sea green haired mommy. And her little sister.

Her parents are lesbians, too?

Now Marie didn't understand anything any longer. When her parents were gay, too, they surely understood their daughter's feelings towards the other girl. Or didn't they know that Hotaru was a lesbian, too? So why didn't the tall girl tell her parents? Why?

Marie held her school bag tighter and saw a smile blooming on Hotaru's face as she raised her head and looked searching into her daddy's face. The famous formula one racer only wiped away those tears softly and smiled back. Love was written all over a wet face.

Is it because of that girl she's in love with? Is it only because that girl has a boyfriend? Can it be that my strong petite ran away, left her parents, her whole family behind just because of one single girl?

It's now sacrifice at all .

Suddenly Marie understood the meaning of the song Hotaru had sung just some nights ago. With so many passion in her voice. With so much sorrow.

The French girl didn't know how to help her best friend.

But she knew that Hotaru would go home during Christmas. And that this was very good.

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This time Hotaru sat near the window. It was incredible for Sejya to hear that the tall tomboy actually asked someone else to sit on that special seat. Just like the young singer still couldn't believe that Haruka let Hotaru drive. The girl learned to drive with her daddy's help a long time ago and this was America. The car racer simply believed that no one would caught them.

I argued the whole way to get the car keys and she simply gave them to an astonished Hotaru.

Sejya slightly turned his head. Haruka next to him already fell asleep again. She took her medicine, ate a little bit and laid back in her seat. The singer covered her carefully with a blanket and made sure that no one would stumble over her legs.

"Is she very ill?" There was concern in Hotaru's voice as she watched him.

"No. Just a bad flu. She'll be fine soon." Calmed Sejya her down.

"She has fever and goes by plane? Just to take me back?" Hotaru gulped and took a deep breath. She already cried enough today. She didn't want to look like a small child. Although she felt right now like one. "But... I wrote her a letter telling her that I was fine. That I wanted to stay in Lincoln' school and learn for the hard tests."

"You never had to learn that much. You're a smart girl, Hotaru-chan." Smiled Sejya and corrected Haruka's blanket. She only marbled some words and kept sleeping.

"But... she can't simply disobey my will." For a brief moment there was anger in Hotaru's dark eyes. But only for the split of a second.

"Of course she can. She's your daddy, Hotaru-chan." Sejya leaned back in his seat and thought at the long argument they had during the drive from the airport to Hotaru's school. Haruka told him something about Michiru and the way she got to know her. A thin girl who lost her parents too soon. Who tried to escape her rude forster parents. Who ran away from them and found a new home with her Haruka. The tall blonde spoke about the time her parents let her go to the private school she shared a room at with Michiru. During the time when they became Sailor senshi and had to search for the talismans to rescue the world. Shortly Haruka had glanced from the street to him and had declared him that her parents let her go because she had been happy with her Michiru. That she herself was ready to let Hotaru go, too. But only when she knew that Hotaru was happy. That she really didn't need her any longer.

"She knows a lot about you. And she knew that you wanted to come home for Christmas. That you simply need your family." Sejya smiled. He had never thought to say the next words to the girl sitting next to him. So true words. Words she understood. Even better after his son was born.

"She simply loves you, Hotaru-chan. It's alike how many letters you would have sent her. She loves you the way only a parent does." The singer stroke softly through dark hairs. "And she won't let you go. Not as long as you aren't happy."

Hotaru closed her burning eyes. Slightly she nodded.

She knew that she would spend a great Christmas with her family.

But she didn't know how she should face her little darling.

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	5. Chapter 4: Worth a thousand lies

Chapter four: Worth a thousand lies 

It was almost dawn as they returned home. It was snowing and the sea was very calm. No sea birds were screaming. Hotaru knew that she should be tried. First the long drive to the airport. The longest way she had ever driven a car by herself. Of course her daddy sat beside her to help her whenever she would have done a mistake. Of course she didn't do one. She was her daddy's daughter. Her uncle Sejya sat behind her and she could hear him saying silent prayers. Until she turned the radio on and he started to sing along. For the first time Hotaru could remember her daddy didn't tease the young singer around. She just let him sing. And it seemed that she even enjoyed it. Then there had been the long fly back to Tokyo. But Hotaru didn't feel tired. She was awake and excited. This was her home. The place where she belonged to. The house she didn't see during the past months. She had missed so much. Although Marie helped her a lot to forget that homesickness time by time.

There was no light on. All people seemed to be in bed. Hotaru shortly glanced at her watch. It was six in the morning. Surely Mayumi and Miyuki were sleeping. There was no school tomorrow. No work. Maybe Ami had to be in the hospital, but the rest of the big family could sleep as long as they wanted. And surely they all used their chance.

Haruka opened the door and stumbled. Her fever rose during the flight and all she wanted to do was to go to bed. Sejya was by her side the next moment and held her tight. Leaded her upstairs and to the sleeping room. The bed was empty. It wasn't even touched yet.

"Oh no!" Haruka groaned and sat down on the soft mattress. "I am going to kill her conductor." She let Sejya strip her pants and her pullover. Then she laid back and closed her eyes. She was asleep the next moment. Hotaru stepped nearer and covered her ill daddy with a soft blanket and gave her a kiss on her burning cheeks.

The fly must have been a torture for her.

She only did it for me!

"Do you really think that she's still at the opera?" Sejya frowned as they closed the door silently behind them.

"You know my mommy." Smiled Hotaru. Suddenly she felt happy. As happy as she hadn't felt the past months. Only on the promotion when everyone adored her piano play. Here she was home. Smiling she went through the corridor of the house she grew up. It all looked so familiar. The same way it had looked when she left it in September. Nothing seemed to have changed. There were only some new paintings on the wall. It looked as if her mommy found a little bit time to draw again. But it was too dark to see what she drew. Surely the wide ocean or the endless sky. Or some people of the crazy family.

"Better I'll go home now. Kakyuu is surely waiting for me." Whispered Sejya who didn't want to wake anyone up. "Are you sure that I can leave you alone?"

"No problem." Hotaru nodded, her dark eyes sparkled. "I know where everything is." Shortly she embraced him. "Arigato that you took care for my daddy, uncle Sejya."

Hotaru believed to see how the young singer blushed in the darkness.

"Hey, I couldn't resist. The meals in the plane are for free and always so delicious." He winked and opened the door to go over to his car. To drive home. To creep into his wife's embrace after he would look for a long time at his sleeping son. His little sunshine.

"Princess?" The voice was full of sleep. They both froze and Hotaru turned her head a little bit. Her mommy stood in the dark corridor. She was wearing a long, white night dress and looked almost like a ghost. A beautiful ghost.

Did she wait for us?

"Mommy?" Hotaru gulped and the next moment she laid in those soft arms. Michiru simply held her tight. Quietly she sobbed and it seemed as if she never wanted to let go.

"My little princess..." she whispered and rocked her gently. Just like she had always done when Hotaru had been a small child. Now she was grown up. Sixteen, almost seventeen years old. But right now she felt as if she was just six years again. As if she would still on her mommy's lap and brushing those wonderful sea green strands. Telling her what she had seen on the race track. That her daddy won another race. That she was really proud of her. And Michiru would smile back at her little daughter. With love in those deep blue eyes.

Finally, after what seemed to have been eternity, they separated. Sejya still stood in the door. He wanted to make sure that they all were fine before he went home.

"Haruka's upstairs?"

"Hai, she's already sleeping."

"Hope she didn't bother you too much."

"Nope. She slept almost the whole time. It was heavenly."

"Arigato, Sejya. You're a good friend."

The singer blushed again and only waved his hand. Then he closed the door behind himself and they could hear him driving away in his car.

"Let's bring you to bed, princess. Today's a big shopping day and tomorrow will be Christmas. Minako planned something big. Guess it's better for all of us to be awake..."

"... to rescue the house of being burned." Finished Hotaru her sentence and they both giggled knowing. The last Sylvester Minako wanted to give a big firework and the show ended when they all stood on the balcony and tried to erase a burning roof.

Again Michiru took her daughter in her arms, still not able to believe that her little girl actually returned from America for Christmas.

"I am very happy to have you here again. We're all very happy, princess."

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Michiru crept under the warm blanket and embraced her love. Haruka yawned and opened her tired eyes. Still feverish looking eyes.

"Are you angry, Michi?" It was a sleepy whisper. Michiru only shook her head and kissed her wife tenderly.

"No, Ruka." She whispered back and stroke carefully through messed blonde hairs. "You did the right thing." Michiru felt how Haruka sighed relieved and leaned her head against her shoulder. Her forehead was hot and Michiru knew that she would go with her wife to the doctor when Haruka would wake up again. No matter how much the senshi of wind protest.

"I love you, Ruka."

An undefinable mumble answered her. A warm hand squeezed her own one softly. Michiru giggled and kissed her lover goodnight.

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It was silent in the light house by the sea. Strangely silent. As silent as Hotaru couldn't remember. The tall girl went downstairs. She only wore her bathrobe and her hairs looked messed. It took her a long time until she fell asleep. But when she finally found sleep she didn't awake before lunchtime. Shortly she looked into the kitchen and read the letter laying on the table. It was telling her that her parents were at hospital. Ami who had to work today to have some days off over the holidays wanted to examine the ill car racer again. The rest of the crazy family went shopping. Makoto fetched Minako and the two girls up and they wouldn't return before evening. There stood food in the microwave oven. Chicken as Hotaru recognised as she opened it. But she wasn't hungry.

Tomorrow is Christmas.

Hotaru already had all her presents. Originally she wanted to send them during the holidays. So that she had at least something to do in the empty school. But now that her daddy took her home she could give them personally to all those crazy aunts and uncles.

Surely little darling will be there, too.

Hotaru bought something for her, too. It was nothing special, nothing personal. A CD Chibiusa always wanted to have but never bought because it had been to expensive for her little pocket money.

Little darling...

Hotaru sighed deeply. Suddenly her hunger and her appetite were gone. Shortly she went over to the living room and took a CD out of the CD player. Then she went over to their swimming room and put the bathrobe down. She didn't care that she was naked. The water was always pleasant warm and no one would look through the windows. They had no neighbours. Besides the snow was so high and the glass frozen from the outside, it was impossible to watch her swimming.

Snow...

It was strange how quick she got used to the hot climate in America. Here in Japan it was snowing the whole night and surely the whole day so long and Hotaru froze like hell. She turned her heating up to the limit and wore the whole night a thick pullover. But still she wasn't really warm.

A nice bath will help me.

She put the CD in the player that always stood here and soon soft violin music was filling the air. Accompanied by a tender piano. Hotaru loved that CD. Her parents had recorded it before her birth. When they both had been her age and fell in love with each other. The melody was full with feelings Hotaru understood so well.

But for them it had been happy feelings...

Hotaru took a deep breath and slowly glided into the nice water. She loved the water. Just like her mommy who swam every day in their personal swimming pool.

Mommy.

Daddy.

They really brought her home. Simply like that. Just like Haruka had promised her. That she only had to call her up and that she would be there as soon as possible.

Hotaru spread her arms on the surface and closed her eyes. Weightless she floated over the water and enjoyed every second. She smiled in the memory of her little sister sneaking into her room in the morning. Creeping under her blanket and sleeping there as long as Minako had to wake her up. To get her ready for the shopping tour. Yuki-chan only left as Hotaru promised her sleepily that she would be there when the little girl would return in the evening.

I missed you, too, little honey.

She moved her feet and her smile grew wider as she heard the water falling down. How much she had missed that feeling. Here, in that swimming pool. The loud music sounded blurred in her eyes but that was okay. She knew the melody by heart. Her mind automatically added the notes that were missing in the water. She hadn't been allowed to touch the school's swimming pool again after her breakdown. Linda had been very strict and concerned with her and so she had to do little tasks during the lessons. To stop the time during the competition swimming. To collect some towels or simply to look that no one would drown. Cindy didn't say a word any longer. She didn't blame her again that she didn't take part at the jumping. No one ever dared to say a word. More than once the pupils looked at the tower, seeing again Hotaru's perfect dive. Seeing again the lifeless body in the water. They all were very happy that nothing worse happened and simply let her in peace. Just once Marie couldn't keep silent. When Cindy made a mistake and her dive looked really bad, she shouted at her that even Hotaru could do a better dive. Cindy had looked for some seconds angry before she burst out into laughter and declared that she had no chance again a former Champion. Hotaru had no idea why, but Cindy found out. Somehow. Maybe over her father or she simply asked Linda. But since that statement all pupils had high respect of her and some even asked her how to improve their technique during the dive.

Arigato, Marie.

Hotaru felt the water moving her hairs and hummed quietly to the soft melody.

Marie was the only one she didn't have a present for right now. She simply didn't have the time. Too much happened. First Kevin's accident. Then her own breakdown. And finally the Christmas promotion. But Hotaru was positive about the present. She would stay for about two weeks in Tokyo. Enough time to find something suitable. To make Marie a little joy with a typical Japanese present.

I am sure that mommy will love those ear rings.

Of course Haruka had to tell her what she was giving her wife for Christmas. As they always had shared that big Christmas. Since Hotaru could remember. It always made her proud that her daddy trusted her so much. And she never, not even once, betrayed it. They talked a lot during their drive to the airport. Soon Sejya accompanied in their conversation and soon Hotaru knew about almost everything that happened during the past months. She got to know more about the school festival and what great Garcon May-chan had been. She got to know more about her mommy's concerts. Sejya and Minako would sing along with her. They were all sold out. As every year. Hotaru couldn't await to see her mommy play again. Of course all senshi got a free ticket. They told her about Rei who planted new Cherry trees. But she wanted to have special trees and so they spend weeks for searching them. Everywhere in Japan. And finally they found them – just some metres away from Rei's temple. They told her how Makoto won an important cooking competition. That she was now allowed to write a book about cooking and that she and Minako spend evenings in preparing delicious dinners. Mostly Makoto cooked while Minako tried to steal the food. For two evenings Usagi tried to help, too. Of course it ended in a catastrophe. Not even Makoto's dog wanted to eat the meat any longer.

Granny is coming, too.

Hotaru's grandmother, Haruka's mother, also wanted to come for Christmas. Hotaru couldn't await to see her. She didn't meet her for almost a year. An old, friendly lady who loved her grandchildren more than everything on the world. Since her husband died she travelled all around the world and only came home to Japan to plan the next journey. So they got almost every months a little package with treasures from all parts of the earth.

This is going to be a great Christmas.

The music died away. First Hotaru didn't notice it. She still hummed and dreamed of her granny sitting beneath the Christmas tree and telling them stories she heard in Africa. Or in South America. Or in Australia. Surely Yuki-chan would sit on her granny's knees and listen to her with big eyes. Just like Haruka would giggle every time her mother would invite a little bit to improve the action of the story. Just like the lion she met in the Congo two years ago. She saved and danced with in the end before they had to separate.

A great Christmas with all those crazy people. Just as crazy as I.

Hotaru giggled and opened her eyes. And gulped some water because she winced hard as she saw the shadow standing at the rim of the pool. Now she noticed that there was no music any longer. That she had heard it only from the memory of her mind.

How long is she standing there?

Hotaru's eyes grew wide as she looked over to a grinning Chibiusa. She wore dark green pants and a thick jacket in the same colour. A yellow cap throned on her head and covered her ears and almost her sparkling eyes. Her two braided plaits laid between the ends of her yellow scarf over her shoulders. She held suitable gloves in her hands.

She looks so cute.

Hotaru gulped and choked as more water ran into her opened mouth.

So beautiful...

"Hello, Taru." Chibiusa smiled and Hotaru wondered what she should reply. What to say. She hadn't been prepared yet. She thought that she wouldn't see her once best friend before tomorrow. She had planned to think of suitable words during the long afternoon. No she had nothing in her mind. Not even the simplest phrase. Only a small hello.

"Hello."

"The taxi is waiting. I still need some presents." Chibiusa giggled and suddenly Hotaru knew that she had missed her little darling the same way she had missed her parents. Maybe even more. "Do you want to come with me? So that we can talk a bit? Guess you've seen a lot in America."

Chibiusa's heart was beating violently in her chest. Why didn't Hotaru react? Why didn't she say a word? Why did she only stare at her? With an expression on her suddenly pale face Chibiusa couldn't define?

She read the letter.

Chibiusa gulped and held her gloves a little bit tighter.

She read it and didn't understand it.

The princess took the towel and winked with it at her friend.

"Common, don't be so lazy, get out! Tomorrow is Christmas. Don' t tell me that you already have all presents." Chibiusa watched how Hotaru swam over to the rim and slowly left the water. She didn't wear a swimsuit. This was her home, her private pool, why shouldn't she be naked. The princess winced as Hotaru grabbed the towel and wrapped it around her body. She didn't even notice that she had stared at her. In a way she had never stared at her.

"You waited again for the very last moment? You know, it'll be hell in the mall." Hotaru couldn't help herself, she simply had to grin as she saw the innocent expression in pink eyes she loved so much.

"That's why I need you. My big protector." Sulked the smaller girl and blinked with her eyes.

Why don't you ask Helios instead?

Hotaru sighed deeply and held the towel a little bit tighter around her now freezing body. She knew that Chibiusa had won. As always. She only had to make this pleading face and she could get everything she wanted. The princess knew that too well.

"You know your big donkey."

Chibiusa only grinned and grabbed her right arm to pull her over the stairs to her room.

"Let's hurry up! I don't want my daddy to faint when he sees the taxi's bill."

Hotaru only sighed and was acquiescent in her fate.

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"Are you sure that you don't want to buy the whole mall?" groaned Hotaru as Chibiusa handled her another bag. The princess already carried so many that she couldn't hold any more.

"I've got a big family." Grinned Chibiusa and stopped at a shop that sold typical Japanese articles. "And it's growing with every year. Remember, the last year we didn't have Tami-chan with us."

"We had." Hotaru remembered to well Kakyuu sitting with her huge belly on the living room couch. "But he can't remember it." She smiled as she saw again how concerned Sejya had been. He feared that the child could be born every moment. Often his wife had to calm him down and to tell him that she would inform him right in time when he was becoming a daddy.

"However, I hope that he'll like my bee." Chibiusa put some bags down and held after a long search a yellow plastic bee in her hands. Whenever you touched it her feeler started to blink in a screaming red light. Chibiusa was so fascinated by it that Hotaru had to giggle. Surely the princess would keep that toy in the case that the little boy didn't want it.

Finally Chibiusa took it into one of the bags again and wanted to carry on.

"Wait a minute. I need something from this shop." Hotaru didn't care if Chibiusa followed her. She simply entered the old shop and looked around. And found the most perfect Christmas present she could make: A screaming pink kimono.

"Goddess, Taru, whom do you want to give this?" asked Chibiusa surprised as Hotaru simply took the clothes and went over to the counter to pay it. It was very expensive but Hotaru was sure that Marie would like it. It fitted to her outfit.

"That's for Marie. Can't wait to see her wearing it." Giggled Hotaru and smiled friendly to the saleswoman who put the kimono carefully into another bag.

"Marie?" Chibiusa frowned and crossed her arms before her chest. Her begs crackled a little bit and the princess almost fell down because of the huge weight on her chest.

"A girl I meet in America. She comes from France and is very interested in other countries." Hotaru grinned and bowed as she took the bag. "She loves pink. I have to admit that it suits her."

It's so great that no one looks strange when I bow.

Hotaru felt happy. She was home. In Japan. She went shopping with Chibiusa and still there was no Helios around. Tomorrow was Christmas. And her granny was coming, too.

"A girl from France?" Chibiusa frowned even more and her pink eyes sparkled. "Do you have to buy her such an expensive kimono? Do you know her that well?"

Hotaru raised surprised her eyebrows.

Are you jealous, little darling?

But she didn't dare to say it aloud.

"She's my roommate at Lincoln's school. She wants to become a vet some day."

No, she can't be jealous. She has her Helios, right? She has her boyfriend.

"I am sure that no French vet ever wore a kimono!" snapped Chibiusa suddenly very angry and turned around. Determinedly she crossed the gangway and entered a candy shop.

"Hey, she's my friend and I can give my friends what I want." Suddenly Hotaru felt angry. Not really knowing why. But Chibiusa didn't listen to her any longer. She stood there, glancing with big eyes at a chocolate Santa Clause. White chocolate. Chibiusa's most favourite chocolate.

"Hope mommy gives me such a Santa Clause, too." She said and sighed longing. Then she remembered her long list and bought two little figures made out of brown chocolate. "Then I'll eat it slowly. Very slowly."

"Are they for May-chan and Yuki-chan?"

Chibiusa only nodded and put them very carefully on top of one of her bags.

"And now let's get something to eat." The princess glanced at her watch. "It's almost four in the afternoon and I am starving. I didn't have any lunch." Shortly she looked at Hotaru who seemed to have lost weight during the past months. "Aren't you hungry, too?"

Whoever that Marie is, she didn't take good enough care of my Taru-chan. She doesn't look very healthy. She is so pale and so thin.

"Well... a little bit..." admitted Hotaru. She was relieved that the princess wasn't angry with her any longer. Chibiusa could be so incalculable. Normally the tall girl had been able to read in the smaller one's thoughts. But suddenly that didn't seem to be possible any longer.

Little darling seemed to have changed during the past months.

Hotaru groaned as she carried all these bags and gasped for breath. Wondering if Chibiusa bought some stones for her relatives. Big, heavy stones.

Of course she changed. Everyone changes when they meet their big love...

"How about a typical Japanese meal? Guess you've had enough hamburgers during the past months." Assumed Chibiusa and grabbed Hotaru's arm to pull her into the nice little restaurant in the middle of the mall.

"Actually I didn't eat a single hamburger. We could chose out of three different lunchs." Giggled Hotaru and was very grateful to sit down. She stretched her arms and moved her head a little bit.

You really look tired. What have they done to you?

"Was it too exhausting?" There was concern in pink eyes while Chibiusa stripped her cap, her scarf, her gloves and her thick jacket. She shook her head and her plaids fell over her shoulders. Her cheeks were redden and she looked simply beautiful. Her lips were redden, too. Without noticing Chibiusa licked over them to wet them. The air in the mall was very dry. Hotaru felt how she blushed and lowered her head to stare at the menue.

"No, it's okay. I am just a little bit tired from the time difference."

"Hope you can remember how to eat with sticks." Chibiusa held them up and it clicked as she tried to catch Hotaru's nose. The dark haired girl winced and looked puzzled as the princess started to giggle. As she looked up she saw that Chibiusa held a black strand between her sticks.

"Your hair is longer. Do you want to let it grow?"

"Maybe. I don't know." Hotaru grabbed for her strand and put it back into the knot in her neck.

"It looks better when you let your hair open." Chibiusa smiled over to the waitress how indicated them that she would be there in two seconds. That she only had to serve another couple. "But really long hairs, I am sure that suits you. You know I like your dark hairs."

Hotaru blushed again and was thankful that the light was dimmed in the restaurant.

"I don't want them to hang into my face." She marbled and decided for rice with chicken. Still she wasn't really hungry, but she knew that Chibiusa could be very stubborn. The smaller girl decided her to eat something and Hotaru knew that she had no chance to escape when she didn't at least ate half of the meal.

It's like the old times.

Hotaru didn't want to eat, too, after her heart attack. She simply felt sick and weak. She was full with self pity and hated her useless body. Chibiusa had cheered her up. Every time she had been down. She had stared at her bed until she ate as much food as Ami wanted her to eat to regain strength again. There had been days when Hotaru simply refused and Chibiusa fed her.

It's like the old times.

But the same time the dark haired girl knew that it was different. Completely different. Two years ago she had still dreamed. That Chibiusa would return her feelings one day. That Chibiusa would love her, too. But now... she had her Helios, her boyfriend. Hotaru's dream was destroyed and she simply didn't know how to live with the fragments. How to behave as always.

"Aunt Mako wants to make a big banquet tomorrow. Mina and Rei are already helping her." Chibiusa giggled happily and clicked again with her sticks. "Many people will come tomorrow. The whole family. I can't wait to see them all at one place again."

"Hai, daddy told me." Answered Hotaru absent, still staring in her menue.

The whole family. So many happy people. So many people being in love with someone else. It's only me who will be unhappy. Who will feel wrong in place. Who will have to face Helios...

"I can't wait to hear Sejya and Mina sing Christmas songs. They have so cute voices." Dreamed Chibiusa and glanced over to her best friend who kept staring into the card.

"Hai." Was all Hotaru replied. Absent. Chibiusa frowned, because she hadn't imagined that Hotaru would be so quiet after she returned from America. She had imagined that Hotaru couldn't wait to tell her all the things she experienced in the United States. Just the way she had always told her every detail from her journey with her school's class. Or from the tours she made with her parents. All around the world. To see them on great concerts. With other famous musicians.

But today Hotaru kept silent. Strangely silent.

Doesn't she want to talk with me over my letter?

It had taken Chibiusa so many hours to write him. Just as it had take her such a long time until she found the courage to take him to the post office. To actually sent him to the her best friend over in the far away land.

Maybe she didn't receive it? Maybe it got lost on its journey over the big ocean?

Chibiusa took a deep breath and felt her heart against beating wildly inside her chest.

And if she doesn't want to talk about it? Maybe she doesn't want to hurt me? Maybe she needs more time to accept it? Maybe she doesn't understand its real meaning?

"Did you..." she hesitated, but still Hotaru didn't react. She was still staring into the card. But she didn't read. Her eyes were fixed on a point only she could see. That strand escaped her knot again and without thinking she raised her hand and raised it behind her ears.

She's so beautiful.

Chibiusa gulped and suddenly her fingers were ice cold.

"Did you get my letter?"

Hotaru looked up and there was again that expression in dark eyes Chibiusa couldn't define. There had been times when she had been able to read in her best friend's face like in an opened book. But somehow she lost that skill during the past months.

I got that terrible picture of a cute couple.

"Hai." Answered Hotaru and lowered her head again. "Arigato."

Chibiusa frowned.

That's all? That's her only comment to what I've written? That's all she's able to say to my feelings?

The princess felt suddenly very angry inside.

How can she dare! How can she...

Chibiusa leaned forward and grabbed for Hotaru's card to pull it away. Her pink eyes sparkled as she stared direclty into a pale face. A face she normally wanted to carress. But now she had the desire to slap it. With all her powers. To bring her best friend back to live. Back from the place she seemed to have been the whole day so far.

"What the hell do you think..."

But Chibiusa couldn't say more, because the waitress came and took their order. After the young woman went away, the princess leaned back on her seat and looked sadly into her steaming tea.

What's now wrong?

Hotaru took the sugar box and sighed slightly. She suspected that this Christmas would be very difficult to celebrate.

Arigato! That's all she says! Arigato!

Chibiusa clenched her hands around her glass and was about to ask her best friend again, as she felt suddenly two arms being wrapped around her waist. Trying to tickle her. The princess squeaked and winced hard. But she relaxed as she heard the low laughter behind her.

"Helios!" The smaller girl turned her head and stared outrageous at him. "What are you planning? Do you want to kill me?"

"Of course." He grinned and took a chair. Soon he sat at the table, too. Right between a grinning and a very startled looking Hotaru. He carried as many bags as the princess did. "What did you buy for mommy and daddy, little princess?" Helios asked curiously and tried to look into Chibiusa's bags.

Mommy?

Daddy?

Little princess?

Hotaru put more and more sugar into her tea and stirred angrily in the brown soup.

What does he think he is?

"Well, you know mommy... I thought a nice perfume would be nice. She broke her one the last week. Oh, and a big chocolate bunny." Chibiusa searched in her bag and soon the table was covered with wrapped boxes.

"A bunny? It's Christmas, not Easter." Laughed Helios.

"But her name is Usagi and Usagi means bunny in the moon." Chibiusa grinned and played with the white loop. "Besides it is chocolate. She'll ate it, no matter what form it has."

"Hai, she's as greedy as you."

"You!"

Soon they both fought with each other. Trying to tickle the other one. Helios giggled while Chibiusa burst out into helpless laughter.

"Help me, Taru! He's going to kill me!" he squeaked and looked pleading into empty dark eyes.

That's so humiliating! To watch them tease each other around!

Hotaru blinked and tasted her tea. She made face. Of course it was too sweet.

What am I doing here? Why am I sitting here? Why don't I simply walk away and leave them in peace?

"Taru!"

Helios blinked and let go of the princess. It seemed as if he recognized the other girl just this very moment.

"Hello Hotaru. Did you buy some things, too?" he looked at the bags standing around her chair. "Or are you simply Chibi-chan's donkey? Did she find another victim, because she's too lazy to buy her Christmas presents earlier?"

Little princess!

Chibi-chan!

"You're as lazy as I!" said Chibiusa and pointed at all his bags. "Hey, say something, Taru! Defend me!"

Why should I defend you from your boyfriend? Why should I help you?

And don't tell me Taru!

Hotaru blinked. Suddenly tears filled her eyes. Tears she didn't want to cry. Especially not in front of Helios.

"It's nice that you came home over the holidays." Smiled the boy and Hotaru felt the desire to beat him right into his grinning face. "We missed you a lot. Especially Chibi-chan missed you a lot."

"Helios!"

Hotaru didn't see how Chibiusa blushed. She didn't notice that the waitress brought their meals. She only saw Helios' grinning face. Heard his words in her mind. Words that were so wrong. So cynic. That hurt her so deeply.

It's nice that you came home!

We missed you a lot!

We!

Who?

Who the hell missed me but my parents?

Chibiusa didn't miss me!

She only wrote one letter!

After so many weeks!

Daring to put a picture of her and her boyfriend into it.

A picture where you are nearer to her than I had ever been!

Her chair crashed as she suddenly rose. The smile broke on Helios' face and he looked suddenly very confused. He saw the rage in dark eyes. Saw the hate there. Feelings he didn't understand.

"You must be kidding!" snapped Hotaru. Her whole body trembled and it was almost impossible to hold back her tears. "Don't you dare to lie to me, Helios! Not to me!"

"Nani?"

"Taru?"

Hotaru blinked and shortly looked into Chibiusa's big eyes. Seeing all the questions there. Questions she would never be strong enough to answer.

"This must be a bad joke." She whispered and the first tears ran over her cheeks. She raised her hand to wipe them automatically away. Normally she didn't cry that much, but the past weeks had been so confusing, the past hour had been so hurting, she couldn't hold them back any longer. But she couldn't stay. She knew she couldn't. Because Chibiusa wouldn't understand her. The same Helios would never.

"This is ridiculous..."

With a slight sob she turned around and ran out of the restaurant. Ignoring Chibiusa's voice calling for her. Telling her to stop. She could hear steps following her. But she was faster. She had always been faster. Even after her heart attack. Chibiusa never really had a chance against her.

I don't want to see you again.

I don't want to talk to you again.

Go away!

Why can't you just leave me in peace!

Hotaru didn't see a lot while she ran through the crowded mall. Her view was blurred. She simply followed her instinct. She only wanted to get out of the mall. To get the next bus and to take a long walk along the snowy beach. To order her thoughts. To calm herself down. Simply to get prepared to face the princess of Crystal Tokyo and her boyfriend again. Tomorrow. At Christmas Eve.

The tall girl turned around the corner and crashed into a someone. She fell on her knees and made a face as pain flashed through her body. Not only through her legs, but also through her chest. She gasped hard for breath, but rose again the next second.

"Gomen..." she whispered and continued her haunt. Not caring that the person she had crashed into, said something to her. That she knew that voice. A concerned voice.

Finally she reached the exit. Cold wind welcomed her and she started to froze. She realised that she had forgotten her jacket in the restaurant. Just like her scarf and her gloves. Now she only wore her pants and her pullover. They weren't warm enough for the rough December weather. But Hotaru wouldn't turn around to take them. Because that would have meant to face her little darling again.

Maybe I'll take a taxi.

A taxi was always warm and it would take her directly to the light house by the sea. Hotaru was sure that her parents would pay the bill.

Or shall I call them up?

She had her phone always in her back bag. Since her breakdown her parents wanted to make sure that she was always able to call help.

Damn! I forgot it, too.

She simply ran out of the restaurant, leaving all her things behind.

Hotaru gasped harder for breath and had to slow down. Until she had to stop. In the middle of the parking space. Between a little white and a big blue car. A Mercedes.

Sejya drives a car that looks like this one.

Hotaru choked and the pain grew inside her chest. She had overdone it. Again. And she knew it. Her heart was very weak and the past hour had been to exciting for her.

What shall I do now?

The tall girl crossed her arms before her chest and stared blind around the parking space. Snow was falling down. It was very dense. The perfect weather for Christmas. Surely a lot of pupils were happy to use their new or their old sleighs over the holidays.

It's so calm.

The noise from the mall was excluded by the thick walls of snow. It crunched under her boots as she moved. Weightless snakes floated from a cloudy sky. It already started to dawn. Dusk was near and the last night before Christmas began. The lights of the Christmas trees around were switched on and the whole atmosphere was so calm, so peaceful. So friendly.

I wan to stay here.

Hotaru stretched her arms to touch the snow flakes. To feel the little cold melting on her warm hand.

I love this silence.

She didn't hear the voices behind her. She didn't hear them coming nearer. All she heard was the growing silence around her. The snow flakes crackling as they melted in her hairs.

It's so wonderful.

The Christmas trees erased. The lights went out. Night fell over the land and over the tall girl standing during two snow covered cars in the middle of a large parking space. All alone.

So wonderful...

A smile formed on Hotaru's wet face as she fainted.

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"Is that necessary?" Haruka looked doubtful at the injection Ami held in her skilled hands.

"I fear." Ami controlled the dose and finally pushed the injection carefully into the thin arm. Hotaru didn't made a face. She was still unconscious. Silently she laid in her big bed. Under her warm blankets.

She looks so fragile.

Haruka gulped and felt how her wife embraced her. Michiru's blue eyes sparkled with tears and she was as shocked as her lover. It was now half an hour ago that Sejya stood there at their door. Holding a lifeless Hotaru in his arms. Ami came from hospital as far as she could and promised to stay until tomorrow. Until they would celebrate Christmas together. To take care for her young patient.

My little Himme-chan...

"What happened?" Michiru had been too concerned about her daughter that she didn't ask a lot. She only dressed her daughter in her pyjama, brought her to bed and waited for Haruka returning from hospital – with Ami. It was slippery outside. It snowed the whole time. But somehow the young car racer managed to break her personal record once more.

"I have no idea..." sobbed Chibiusa. Again she saw how Hotaru simply broke down. How she stood between some cars and stared to the snowy sky. How she simply fell to the ground. The princess only screamed and Sejya was by her side the next moment. Chibiusa didn't notice him before.

"She ran into me in the mall. Kakyuu and I were shopping." Sejya gulped. He sat on the other side of the bed and looked the same concerned as Haruka and Michiru. "She didn't react when I wanted to talk to her, so I followed her." He shook his head. "She simply ran out into the night. Without any jacket!"

She was crying.

Chibiusa sniffed and nodded thankful as Ami handled her a handkerchief.

"I don't know. We were in a restaurant and talked and... and..."

"Don't you tell me that you played hide and seek in the mall!" Ami's voice was very strict and Chibiusa blushed deeply. There had been a time when they really played that game in shopping malls. Driving not only their parents crazy. But this time they didn't play any game at all.

We only talked.

And then...

Chibiusa didn't understand it. She simply didn't understand Hotaru's reaction. Nor her confusing words.

A bad joke? What for a bad joke? Eating with me? Shopping with me? Talking to me? Is that so bad?

"We only went shopping. I didn't have my Christmas presents right now and..." Chibiusa lowered her head and stared at her pale friend. Tears were running again over the princess' redden cheeks.

"Guess that had been too much stress for her. She had a long fly just the other day and her whole body still had to fight with the time difference." Resumed Ami and put her instruments back into her black leather bag. "You know how crazy the mall can be shortly before Christmas. Surely Hotaru didn't want to admit that she was exhausted and tired and pushed her weak body until it broke down."

"As always..." sighed Michiru. Sejya nodded. Only Haruka frowned. She couldn't quite agree with Ami. Of course Hotaru didn't listen to her body's signs again. But that wasn't the only reason. One look into big pink eyes told Haruka that a little bit more happened than just a simple shopping through thousands of shops.

"What shall we do now, Ami?"

"The same we do every time, Haruka. Give her a little bit peace. Let her sleep for the rest of the night. I gave her a little bit to let her sleep well. Oh, and something to eat when she wakes up." Ami stroke through dark strands and smiled softly. "Better I say Mina that Hotaru won't take part in her karaoke singing tomorrow."

"Karaoke?" Haruka raised her eyebrows and looked not very happy about that information.

"Karaoke?" Sejya only grinned.

"Hai, Karaoke." Sighed Ami worn out. "Just let her sleep and take care that tomorrow won't be too much stress for her. We all have to take care for her and take her into bed when she looks too tired."

The young doctor rose from the bed and showed them all to follow her.

"Arigato." Michiru sighed deeply.

"No problem." Ami closed the door silently behind herself and they all went upstairs. To prepare the Christmas tree. To wrap some last presents. To write some more postcards. Or simply to take care for May-chan and Yuki-chan who were as crazy as Minako. Or at least almost as crazy.

"Haruka?" Chibiusa grabbed the sleeve of the white shirt and looked into startled green eyes.

"Hai?"

"Can I stay here for the night? I mean, I'll celebrate Christmas here tomorrow and mommy and daddy will come tomorrow." The princess felt how she blushed. "I am simply concerned about Taru. She comes home from America and simply breaks down."

Haruka smiled softly and stroke through pink strands.

"No problem, Chibiusa. I'll call your parents. If there's something you need, just call us, okay?"

"Okay."

Chibiusa took a deep breath and crept back through the now dark corridor. Silently she opened the door and stood for a long time in the darkness of the room. Some stars sparkled over Hotaru's bed. The tall girl once put them on the ceiling. Her private sky as she once had told giggling her best friend.

Best friend...

Chibiusa gulped and felt how her body started again to tremble.

Taru...

Again she saw the anger and the hate in dark eyes. As the tall girl had shouted at them in the restaurant. And then turned around and simply ran away. As if bloodhounds haunted her.

She had cried.

Chibiusa gulped and slowly stripped her clothes. She found one of Hotaru's pyjama's in the big wardrobe. Although Hotaru returned just some hours ago it was already a big mess. The tall girl simply couldn't hold order with her clothes. Just like her daddy.

The princess looked shortly at the pyjama and finally pulled it over her freezing body. As always it was too big for her. Hotaru was almost one head taller and so every shirt, every pant she borrowed from her best friend was too wide for her.

Taru...

Chibiusa crept under the blanket and took her now sleeping friend carefully into her arms. Feeling the warm body next to her freezing one. The princess sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Simply enjoyed that her Taru was back again. That she wasn't any longer in America, thousands of miles away. Unreachable.

Maybe it had been a fault to write that letter. Maybe Helios wasn't right. Maybe I should have only send her some photos – just like the other did. To write some superficial words. Maybe...

Chibiusa didn't know what she should have done different. She only knew that something was wrong with her best friend. Completely.

And that there was no other way than talking to her, openly.

But before she had to say all those things to her Taru, Chibiusa simply wanted to enjoy that night. To hold her best friend tight. To feel the steady up and down of the chest under her head. To feel the constant breath tickling her hairs.

I wish you were like me, Taru.

But slowly Chibiusa had to recognise that this was only a dream that would never come true.

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She stood in a labyrinth. Full with mirrors. Blinking mirrors.

Nani?

She gulped and turned around. But there was no exit. No escape. No way to turn to. Only mirrors. As far as she could see, only mirrors. Sparkling mirrors. Shimmering mirrors. So ugly mirrors.

No...

She didn't want to look right into the glass, but she had no other chance. But that wasn't she in all those reflections. Stranger looked back at her. A tall man with white hairs. She didn't know him, but somehow he looked familiar. There was a woman next to him in another mirror. She had long, dark hairs. A smile bloomed on her face and she held a little bundle in her arms. Talking soft words to the baby who grabbed her dark strands. She giggled and rocked her child gently.

Nani?

Then there was an explosion. She had to close her eyes. As she opened them again, the tall woman was gone. The white haired man looked sad. He turned around and two graves appeared in two mirros next to him. A tall and a small grave. Of his wife and his daughter.

Nani?

She turned around and screamed as she saw the thin girl laying in a bed. Staring with dead eyes at the ceiling. Different drips were connected to her skinny arms. But she was condemned to death. Everyone who looked at her knew that.

Nani?

A door was pushed opened and a little girl ran through different mirrors. She was haunted by someone. A tall woman with long, red hairs. She didn't know her, but she didn't like her. From the first look on.

Nani?

The little girl sat down next to the bed and grabbed for the pale patient's one. To hold it tight. The little girl cried. And was pushed away by the red haired woman who finally reached her.

No! Please, not!

Tears streamed over her face as she saw how the dying girl suffered. She didn't want her best friend to go. She didn't want to die. Not alone.

No!

The mirrors burst into thousand of splinters as a door was closed with a loud bang. They sparkled like snow flakes falling from an endless sky. And disappeared into nothing. All that remained was darkness. Darkness and a shadow that seemed to have haunted her all of her life.

No! Leave me in peace! Leave me...

There was again that grin on a faceless face. The shadow spread its arms wide and the darkness got even darker.

No! Don't take away the ones I love. Don't...

Different people were embraced by that shadow. Her daddy. Her mommy. Her sister. Her aunts and her uncles. And finally her best friend. The princess screamed and tried to defend herself, but it was senseless.

No! Leave her in peace! Leave her...

The shadow raised its head and she gasped hard for breath as she looked into a well known face. Into Helios' face.

No...

Hotaru sat upright in her bed. Sweat covered her forehead and her hairs hang in strands into her face. Her dark eyes were wide open and a sobbing escaped her throat.

What for a fucking nightmare.

She wanted to stand up. To switch on the light. To take a nice hot shower. To read a book and to try to forget all this stuff. But she couldn't. She felt weak and tired. She couldn't move her body and simply sat there in trance and fear.

What does it mean? What...

She buried her face in her hands and started helpless to sob. She didn't want to cry. Not again. But she had no control over her body any longer.

"Taru?"

She winced wildly as two soft arms embraced her.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

Slowly Hotaru raised her head and nodded. Wondering why Chibiusa was here. Wondering what the princess did in her bed. Wondering how she could move in her pyjama that was too wide for the smaller girl.

"I know how you're feeling. I hate it when a vampire haunts me." Smiled Chibiusa and simply held her tight. Stroke comforting over dark hairs. Whispered some more comforting words. Senseless words. But Hotaru was thankful for them.

You don't know how I am felling, little darling.

Nevertheless Hotaru gave in that soft embrace. Even if it was just for this one night. Even if it was just for comfort. For comfort. For nothing more.

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It was early in the morning. In the morning of a special day. Of Christmas. Christmas Eve. Minako hummed happily the melody of a well known Christmas song while she entered the huge guest bathroom. A bathroom mostly used by her or Ami during the past years. Often she asked Haruka and Michiru if that was okay, if they should pay some rent, but the outer senshi only shook their heads. Often they declared that they once told them to be there for them if they needed them and that they held their promises. And the house was very big. Big enough for more than just four people.

We should find an own house. Or at least an own flat.

But Ami never wants to think further than the next day...

Minako closed the door silently behind her and grinned. She had seen all the food Makoto brought with her yesterday and couldn't await to see the famous cook dancing through the whole kitchen. Doing magic with her skills.

Right now it was eight o clock. They were all still sleeping. Haruka, Michiru, Yuki-chan, May-chan, Hotaru and Chibiusa. The others would come later at noon or in the evening. The house would be crowded. Just the way Minako loved it. Those were always the best parties.

"I am dreaming of a white Christmas..." The love senshi's voice was clear and she had no problems with the height. She felt so happy, she wanted to sing the whole morning. The whole day.

Let's take a nice warm shower and wake my Ami-chan.

Minako turned around to put her towel down and froze. She saw the person kneeling next to the tube and knew that she didn't have to wake the young doctor up. The tube was filled with stealing water and Ami giggled. A sound Minako didn't hear because of her singing.

"Ami-chan?"

With two steps she was by her best friend's side and touched a trembling shoulder. Ami had still wrapped a towel around her slime body, but her hairs were wet. Maybe she already took a bath? But why was she kneeling there?

"Oh, morning, Mina." Giggled the young doctor and there was something in blue eyes Minako didn't like at all. A crazy expression that made her giggle. "Did you sleep well?" Ami giggled even more and that sound made the senshi of love froze. "I mean, so all alone..."

Nani?

Before the love senshi could react, Ami had pulled her arms around her waist and brushed her lips against hers. Minako stiffed and didn't know how to react.

She's kissing me?

Was that a dream coming true? That her young doctor finally responded her feelings? That she made up her mind and finally saw that she loved the crazy singer, too?

Or was it a nightmare starting?

Minako didn't think any longer. This was her Ami-chan. Laying in her arms. Kissing her. Obviously wanting to be kissed in return. So the blonde simply closed her eyes and returned the gentle touch with all her feelings. With all her love.

I love you, Ami. I love you so much.

With a sudden the young doctor broke the kiss and giggled even more.

"You kiss good. I already forgot..:" she giggled and looked directly into blurred blue eyes. They both breathed hard and trembled.

Hai, they had kissed before. Shortly before May-chan was born. Ami had one of those nightmares that were haunting her down these times. Minako comforted her the whole night and somehow the young singer had kissed the student. Softly and with so much love. But Ami had pushed her away and declared that she didn't want this. That she didn't feel the same. So Minako promised her never to touch her again. To stay her best friend when she couldn't be her girlfriend.

"Do you wanna sleep with me?" Ami giggled again as she saw the shocked expression on Minako's face. "Don't look that way. I know that you want it." The young doctor took the end of her towel and wanted to strip it. But Minako's hand was faster to hold her back.

"What's wrong, Ami-chan?" asked the love senshi alarmed and looked around. But she couldn't see any bottle beer nor any other alcohol. "Are you drunk, Ami?"

Suddenly the young doctor looked hurt. She stopped giggling and tears sparkled in blue eyes.

"You don't want me, that's it. I am not beautiful enough." She lowered her head and tears streamed over her pale face. "No one ever wanted me. Not even May-chan's father..."

Nani?

Minako pulled a sobbing Ami into her arms and rocked her gently.

"Of course I want you." She sighed deeply. "You don't know how much I want you, little one. But not this way. I want your love, your honest love. Not a lie." Minako stroke through blue strands. "And especially not for one night. I want you forever, do you understand me, Ami-chan?"

The love senshi forced Ami to raise her head and to look directly into her concerned face.

"And now tell me what you've taken."

Suddenly Ami giggled again.

"Just some tranquillizer." Her smile looked crazy and Minako sighed. "I couldn't sleep."

"What did you drink to gulp them?"

"One whiskey. Or two? Or three?" giggled Ami and reeled as Minako helped her on her feed.

"Then you'll have a great hangover this evening." The love senshi sighed and simply take her best friend into her arms. Ami was smaller than she. And she was very thin. Too thin. But she never ate more. Even if Minako begged her.

"Then I'll take you into bed, try to find some medicine against your nice tranquillizer and search for a nice breakfast. And don't make such a face! You'll eat what I'll give you, Mizuno-san! It's your own fault!" Minako balanced her best friend over to her own room and laid Ami in her own bed. Which was still warm. "And believe me, Ami, you'll celebrate your Christmas with your daughter. Alike how afraid you might be!"

"But... but I have no family she can be proud of..." sobbed Ami and slowly the tranquillizer stopped to work. Minako was very relieved to see that her best friend got slowly normal again.

"Your daughter has me and she has you. That's all she needs!" Minako covered Ami with a soft blanket and stroke some blue strands out of a sweaty forehead.

"You?"

"Hai, me!"

Minako sat down on the bed's edge and watched her best friend sleeping for a long time.

Thinking.

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Slowly she woke up. It was like raising from a deep, deep lake. First there was nothing. Only her head ache. Then she heard the Christmas music. Far away. Coming slowly nearer. The shadow of a smile flashed over her pale face as she recognized her aunt's voice. Singing through the whole house. Surely driving everybody crazy with her Christmas mood. With all the games she planned. With all the surprises mostly everybody was really surprised about. Because no one could believe that Minako really did it for another time.

Maybe another karaoke singing.

Hotaru grinned tired as she remembered how much her daddy suffered the last Christmas. Because she had to sing a song about a young woman dying of love because she couldn't get the boy she was in love with. Sejya almost asphyxiate because he had to laugh so much.

I am in my bed.

The girl opened her eyes a bit and looked out of the window. The sun was setting again and Hotaru knew that she slept the whole day.

Another breakdown?

She sighed deeply and sat upright in her bed. And froze in motion. She had been so concentrated on Minako's singing that she didn't hear the silent crackle. Chibiusa sat there on her carpet and fought hard with the wrapping paper. Green paper with grinning reindeers on it. They looked a little bit drunk and Haruka would surely grin a lot when she would see them, but Hotaru was sure that Chibiusa simply thought that they were cute.

What is she doing here?

The princess wore a purple pyjama that was too wide for her. Often she had to pull away the sleeves that were always in her way. The clipping was too wide, too and Hotaru could see Chibiusa's breast whenever the girl leaned forward to reach for the scissors.

Why is she kneeling there on my carpet? In the middle of the day? Taking care for her presents?

Hotaru frowned. Deeply she blushed as Hotaru leaned again forward. To grab another small box. Quickly the dark haired girl turned her head away and stared at her blanket. Slightly remembering a nightmare. How she woke up, being afraid and alone. But then...

I hadn't been alone. Someone was there to comfort me.

There was the memory of warm arms being wrapped around her body. Giving her the comfort she needed after this scary nightmare. Being there the whole night. Simply holding her tight. Until she fell asleep again.

Had that been Chibiusa?

Hotaru gulped and raised again her head.

But why? Why is she here? Why is she not at home? With her boyfriend? Why is she here?

What happened yesterday?

Hotaru groaned as memory hit her hard. Suddenly she knew again what had happened the day before. She had been shopping with the princess. Then Helios had appeared and she ran away.

How shall I explain my strange reaction to her?

"Taru?" Chibiusa looked up from her presents and a smile formed on her beautiful face. "How are you feeling?" She stood up and came over to the bed.

Taru...

Hotaru gulped. Once she had been so proud to have such a lovely nickname. Only Chibiusa used it and it was kind of an honour for her. But now it only hurt to hear it. Because it remembered her of times that were now over. That would never return again.

"Better." Hotaru yawned and blushed as her stomach started to growl.

"You should go in the kitchen. Makoto's there since noon and I am sure that she'll have something to eat for you." Chibiusa hopped from the bed and held her pyjama pants tight. It was really too wide for her. "Ami told us that you should eat something and that we have to take care for you. That you need your rest." Chibiusa's voice sounded important, but there was concern in pink eyes. Concern that let Hotaru frown.

At that moment a scream filled the house. Followed by loud laughter. Chibiusa giggled and went over to her presents to put them all into a bag.

Right in time. I am just ready.

Chibiusa squinted over to Hotaru who still sat silent on her bed.

Hope she likes my present.

And if not?

If not?

Chibiusa carefully closed the back and grabbed again for her pants.

Then I can at least say that I tried it.

"That were surly May-can and Yuki-chan. They're already haunting each other the whole day. Driving your parents crazy." The princess giggled again. "Do you have any presents you want to be wrapped up? I could do that while you're eating."

Hotaru only shook her head and regretted that motion immediately as her headaches increased.

I don't need your help.

I don't need anybody's help!

"Have you been here... the whole night?" Hotaru looked at everything but her friend. "I mean... aren't your parents concerned?"

What are you talking, Taru?

Chibiusa blinked and stepped again over to the bed.

My parents had never been concerned when I had been here.

"Your daddy called my parents up. They'll be here..." Chibiusa glanced at her watch "... soon. Guess Helios used the whole night to end his scarf." Chibiusa giggled, not seeing how Hotaru's face got paler and her eyes sadder.

Helios... he's all she's talking about now.

"I've never seen a boy knitting a scarf. Makoto showed it to him, but he's too slow." The princess shook her head and sat again down next to her best friend. "He wants to make it for mommy. Because she lost her scarf at the beginning of December." The princess shook her head, still smiling. "He took all colours of the rainbows and until now it looks really great. He makes a lot effort to do it." Chibiusa laid herself fall into the nice, still warm blankets and closed her eyes. "I always wanted to have a brother or a sister. After mommy told me two years ago that she's not able to get another child, I thought I would have to stay alone for the rest of my life." The grin on her face got softer, almost tenderly. "I had never imagined to get a crazy, big brother like him one day."

Hotaru gulped and searched for hold on the soft mattress.

"Your brother?" It took her some seconds before she was able to gasp the question.

Her big brother?

"Hai." The princess opened her eyes again and looked directly into totally confused looking dark eyes.

Nani?

What's wrong?

Is she having another breakdown?

Chibiusa sat upright the next moment. To be ready to hold her best friend when Hotaru would faint. As she had done for so many times after her dangerous heart attack.

"Hai, Helios is my big brother. He moved into the Crystal Palace after his parents' death. Mommy and daddy adopted him in October. The ceremony could be seen on TV all around the world. Didn't you see it?" Chibiusa frowned more as Hotaru's face was a big question mark.

No...

That can't be true...

Chibiusa gulped and a big lump filled her stomach. Suddenly she felt very, very sick. Her pink eyes grew wide and she felt how her body started to tremble.

That can't be...

"You didn't read my letter, did you?" Chibiusa's voice was nothing more than a choked whisper. Shortly she looked into dark eyes. She couldn't define the expression in Hotaru's pale face.

It took me so endless long nights to write this letter. I wrote everything into it. Everything.

Chibiusa felt tears sparkling in her eyes. Deep disappointment filled her heart. Suddenly it wasn't Hotaru anymore who sat right next to her. Not her beloved Taru. Not the girl she trusted more than her own family. Not the person she had loved with all her heart. The dark haired girl was now a total stranger to her. Someone she had never known. She never wanted to get to know.

I lost her!

Chibiusa gulped and ran a trembling hand through her messed hairs.

I lost her... my best friend.

"You didn't read it. Why?"

Hotaru raised her head and closed her eyes. She couldn't find an answer.

What shall I tell her? That I was jealous like hell? Jealous of her big brother? That I didn't want to read it, because of the silly picture she sent me?

"Why?"

Tell her! Tell her now! And it's over!

At that moment the door was pushed open. Rei stood there. She wore a long, red priestess robe that suited her perfectly. Her long, dark hairs fell open over her shoulders. A wide grin laid on her face. A hummed Christmas song laid in the air.

"Hello, you two beauties." She greeted the two girls, not feeling the sad atmosphere in the room. She was in Christmas mood. Today nothing bad existed for her. Only happiness. And two kids who almost crashed into her as she went upstairs.

"Hotaru-chan, come. Ami told me to give you something to eat." Curiously Rei stared over to the bag with presents. "And you should take a shower and get ready, Chibiusa-chan. Your parents will be here in about an hour."

"Hai."

Hotaru felt as confused as she had never felt in her whole life as she heard her friend's sad agreement. But she couldn't answer anything, because Rei took her hand and guided her carefully, but determinedly towards the door.

Why the hell is it so important for her that I read her letter?

Hotaru shook her head and groaned as her headache increased to another level. Silently she decided that she didn't understand Chibiusa any longer. Not at all.

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"Has anyone the number of the truck who ran over me?" whispered Ami and stared with empty eyes in her hot tea. Makoto danced through the kitchen and her good mood was almost unbearable for the senshi of water. She awoke some hours ago and since that moment she spent all her time in the kitchen. Trying to drink and to eat anything. And not throwing them up again afterwards.

"Jack Daniel's." answered Minako who held a big balloon in her hands. Shortly she looked around and finally stepped on the table. Ignoring Makoto's angry looks. "That's what happened to you, little one." She band the balloon in the lamp and hopped from the table. Satisfied she looked at her work.

"I drank alcohol?" Ami's blue eyes looked stunned at her. And worried. Minako gulped, but decided that it was Christmas and that she shouldn't be angry with her Ami any longer.

"You've been dead drunk, honey. So the nice Minako had to take you into bed so that you'll be sober again when the big festival starts." She grinned and danced over to Makoto to steal a little bit of that delicious smelling chicken. The cook only laughed and beat her softly with her wooden spoon.

"Dead drunk?" Ami looked now really unhappy. "Did I do something crazy?"

"Nothing more crazy than ever." Minako sat down next to her and took her tea. She drank some gulps and put them back into suddenly icy hands. "It needs more sugar." Decided the senshi of love and reached over to the sugar box.

"What did I do?" Ami's voice was very silent and Makoto decided that it was time for her to see how the dessert was doing in the huge fridge in the cellar. Quietly she left the kitchen, leaving her friends some moments on their own. The senshi of thunder felt surprised that Ami had been drunk. The young doctor never touched any alcohol. Not even when they had to celebrate a big event. Makoto wanted to know more. To talk to her. Maybe to comfort her. But she knew that this was Minako's job. That she could ask the love senshi later.

Makoto evaded two giggling children and opened the cellar's door.

"You splashed the whole bath with water." Minako looked suddenly very serious. "Don't you ever to do that again. In the early morning! No one would have noticed when you would have drown in the tube!" The love senshi took a cold hand in her own one to warm it. "And you asked me to sleep with you."

After those words there was silence between them. Dead silence. For a long time. Only the meals cooking on the oven could be heard. And Ami taking a deep, a very deep breath. For some minutes that seemed to last eternity she stared at Minako's hand and cursed herself silently.

"Mina..." Suddenly tears were shinning in blue eyes and Minako regretted her words.

It hadn't been necessary to tell her that, right?

The love senshi rose from her chair and stepped behind her best friend. Seeing how much the young doctor trembled.

You should have known that she didn't change her mind. That she only said it because she had been dead drunk and didn't know any longer what she was saying!

"Mina..."

"Hush, little one." Minako let go of Ami's hand and embraced the young doctor softly. Not caring that Ami winced madly. "It's okay. Just take something else to gulp your tranquillizer the next time. Take juice, not whiskey, okay? Or even better, don't take any tranquillizers. When you can't sleep the next time, wake me up. We'll find an solution without that bad medicine. Okay?"

"Gomen..." Ami's voice was tearful and Minako bit hard on her lower lip. Then she leaned over her best friend's shoulder and grinned happily into a pale face.

"Hey, you chicken, don't look so sad. Today's Christmas Eve. You should be laughing and teasing your daughter around." Minako squeezed Ami loving and her grin grew wider as she saw the shy smile on a pale face. "Just forget it, okay? It's not important. Makoto's food and the presents are more important." Minako didn't want to let go, but she knew she had to. As always...

Not important!

Of course it's important for you!

"Hope you did learn the lyrics I gave you yesterday. Otherwise you won't get your present." Minako giggled and watched how Rei and Hotaru entered the kitchen. Surely to give the girl something to eat. Dinner was still two hours away and they all knew about Hotaru's latest breakdown.

"Drink your tea and get yourself ready, little one."

But it's not important for her...

With those words Minako greeted nodding Rei and danced again out of the kitchen. Singing out loud another Christmas song. Searching for another balloon she could hang on the walls. Soon two children's voices accompanied her.

"Mina sweet my tea. Do you wanna it?" Ami looked up as Hotaru sat down. The dark haired girl only nodded. For a long time they sat there. Sharing the silence that evolved between them. Every one of them thinking their own thoughts.

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The table bowed under the weights of those delicious meals. Makoto used all her skills and different hungry eyes stared happily at the chicken, the pudding, the potatoes, the vegetable, the cakes, the noodles and all the other things. Haruka asked silently who should eat all this stuff and giggled as Michiru pointed over to the queen who started another argument with the priestess.

They all sat around the huge table. Talking excitedly to each other. Soft Christmas music was playing in the background. It had taken Haruka all her powers to convince Minako that they all were hungry. That they would all sing karaoke – but not with hungry stomachs.

"Can I have your pudding?" Mayumi climbed on Minako's lap and looked pleading up into the love senhi's eyes. Trying to ignore her mother's strict looks. "Please."

"Don't you want to eat your noodles, first? I am sure they're delicious." Asked Minako and glanced over at May-chan's now empty place. She had only eaten her pudding. The noodles were still untouched. Then she sighed defeated. She could remember too well how she had been as a small girl of May-chan's age. There had been such phases, too. Where she had eaten nothing else then eggs. Or chocolate. Or potatoes. Dry, cold potatoes with only a little piece of butter. Nothing more. It had driven her parents almost insane.

"Mayumi! Let Minako eat! You're too old to sit on her lap!" Ami blushed deeply but no one at the round table looked annoyed or concerned. They all laughed and talked about the past weeks. About the haunt in the malls. About the concerts Sejya and Michiru would soon give. Together with Minako. How hard their conductor was. How long the rehearsals lasted. And how great it sounded.

"But mommy..." May-chan looked suddenly hurt and Ami took a deep breath. She didn't want to see her daughter sad. Not as sad as she felt inside.

"Little honey..."

"If you want my pudding, you can have it. Can I have your noodles instead?" tried Minako to save the situation, but May-chan already looked really disappointed when she left her lap. To go to her own place. To sit down and to sulk.

The next moment she felt herself being taken into a loving embrace. Shortly she looked up and saw directly in her mommy's shinning eyes.

"Shall I ask aunt Makoto if she has more of that delicious pudding?" Ami squeezed her daughter softly and felt how May-chan leaned herself against her chest.

"Nope, mommy." Whispered the little girl. "Just don't leave this evening, okay?"

Ami and Minako exchanged glances and Minako smiled encouraged.

"I promise, darling." Answered the young doctor finally. "There won't be any emergencies this evening."

"Sure there won't." Now the love senshi grinned from one ear to the other one. "I cut the phone's label." She winked at May-can like a conspirator and the little girl smiled back.

"Do you wanna eat my chicken, daddy?" Miyuki stared at her daddy's plate, having all of her meat on her fork. It shook slightly in her small hands, because it was now too heavy.

Haruka looked around as if she feared that anyone would hear them. Trying to destroy there great plan.

"When you take my carrots instead." She whispered back and brought her plate nearer to her daughter's one. "But we have to be very, very carefully."

Yuki-chan giggled and nodded.

"Okay." She whispered and they both raised their forks.

"Three." Counted Haruka and grinned. Her daughter grinned back.

"Two."

They both looked around again but no one saw them. Minako was too occupied to fed May-chan with chocolate pudding while Ami tried to protect the carpet from being dirtied by the brown meal. Michiru on the other side talked excited with Sejya about their next concert.

Shortly Haruka and Miyuki looked at each other and nodded.

"One."

Chicken and carrots changed their places and quickly they both leaned back. Satisfied that their plan worked.

"Darling, you ate all your carrots? That's great. I always thought you wouldn't like them." Michiru's eyes sparkled as she turned around and saw into her lover's blushed face.

"Hai, they were simply delicious. The way Mako makes them... I can't resist them." Answered Haruka and heard her daughter's high laughter.

Michiru shortly leaned over to her wife and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you." Whispered the young violinist and Haruka blushed even deeper. Her dark green eyes sparkled and Michiru knew that her wife would show her her love, too. A little bit later this night.

"I still don't think that we should take this song." Sejya took a sheet of paper out of his pants and Kakyuu rolled her eyes as she saw it.

"I wish I was only one moment in your life as important as your music." She smiled while she fed little Tami-chan who loved his milk out of the bottle.

"You're the most important person in my life – with Tami-chan." Declared Sejya and put the paper down. Then he went on his knees before her and bowed his head. "Can you forgive me? Just this one more time, my princess? Please..."

"Wow! To see you on your knees, that's more than I ever hoped to see!" laughed Haruka and Sejya blushed as he looked up. He had been so occupied with his notes that he didn't look whom he did bow to. Now he kneeled in front of Haruka's chair who almost cried because she had to laugh so much.

"But I don't know if I can forgive you... you're always so silly..." Haruka gasped and shook her head. "My prince... wah!" she laughed even louder as Sejya blushed deeper. Michiru giggled. Just like the other senshi.

"You baka!" But the young singer's eyes had to sparkle, too.

"I wish someone would kneel down before me, too." Sighed Rei and reached for the chocolate cake. Usagi had the same idea and soon they both exchanged angry glances. Each one trying to grab a piece with their forks. Not seeing that they destroyed the whole cake with their battle.

"But all people bow before you. Every day." Makoto giggled and helped Mamoru with the chicken.

"That's simply not the same..."

"No, it isn't." Haruka grinned and burst out into laughter again. Sejya only showed her his tongue and went over to his princess. To embrace her – together with his little son. Tenderly he kissed her and looked deep into her eyes. "Maybe you should put that song away and eat instead?" suggested the red haired princess and pointed over to Sejya's still filled plate.

"Hai, it's very delicious, my prince."

"Baka!"

"Hai, my prince?" Haruka laughed again and Yuki chan used her chance to put some potatoes they both didn't like too much on her plate.

"Eat and shut up."

"As you please."

Michiru only rolled her eyes and thanked Makoto who gave her some more of that expensive wine.

"I wish she would say that to me. Just once."

She and Haruka exchanged glances and both grinned knowing. There were times when Haruka heard of her Michiru. But she would never admitted it. That would have meant to loose her image.

"That's my cake!" Usagi rose from her chair and held the fork full with cake over her head. Triumph sparkle din her blue eyes. Rei growled and tried to get it back. She stumbled over her own feet and crashed into Usagi who fell back on her chair. The cake covered her white dress and Rei's red one.

"You baka!"

"Your jerk!"

"Can't you hold balance?"

"Can't you take care of your own feet?"

"Why do you have to steal the cake?"

"Why don't you just give me a part of it, too?"

They both started to argue. As always. Mamoru only looked away and ate little bit more of his chicken. He was used to his wife's clumsy behaviour and to the arguments between the queen and the priestess. He knew that it wouldn't make any sense to interrupt. They all had to be patient and wait until they would calm down by themselves.

"Idiot!"

"Baka!"

"And now the whole cake is wasted!"

"But... waahhh!"

Soon Usagi started to sob and soon Rei was by her side to comfort her. And to rescue from the once white dress what she could rescue. It were only some spoons of that delicious cake.

"Wah! That cake! WAH!"

"Hey, maybe we can ask Mako..."

"Wah..."

"Usagi-chan..."

"Wah.."

Makoto giggled and walked over to them. Still she had the wine bottle in her hands and looked really like the famous cook she became during the past years.

"I made two in the case one wouldn't be enough." She smiled and saw how Usagi tried to be brave. Her tears dried slowly and Rei automatically handled her a handkerchief.

They never grew up.

Makoto giggled again as she saw the two still ringing with each other.

"Shall I get it?"

Two heads nodded and they both looked at the young cook with the expression Makoto knew from her doggy. The shepherd dog laid right now in the kitchen near the cooker and slept deep and tight. The old dog was exhausted. Two little girls haunted him the whole day and now he only wanted his peace.

"Okay, just wait one minute." Makoto put the bottle down and disappeared into the kitchen. To pet her doggy, to give him some chicken, too and to get the chocolate cake.

"You have more luck than you deserve." Michiru drank a little bit more of her wine and messed Haruka's blonde hairs who tried to smuggle her peas over to Yuki-chan's plate.

I love them so much.

"I tried to finish your song. Maybe it's better this way."

It was the first time that Hotaru spoke during the whole evening. She only greeted the others and sat down on her chair. Watching the other eating in silence. Staring down on her own plate. Not daring to look over to Chibiusa who sat next to her. Staring in the same silent down on her chicken. They both hardly ate anything. Although Chibiusa tried to talk to Hotaru again, she didn't find another chance. She wanted to talk to her best friend in peace, but that was impossible. At a Christmas Eve. With that big, crazy family being around.

"Let's see." Haruka took the sheet and shortly studied the notes and the lyric. Then she raised her eyebrows and looked asking at Hotaru. The girl only lowered her head again and stirred again in her mashed potatoes.

That song is incredible sad.

Sacrifice...

Haruka frowned and handled the sheet over to Sejya who looked suddenly very, very curious.

What for a sacrifice does she mean?

Shortly Haruka observed how Hotaru and Chibiusa sat next to each other. How they both looked very, very sad. How they tried to evade the other's look. They both looked as if they did something really, really bad and no one wanted to tell the others.

Strange...

"Didn't your mother want to come, Haruka?"

The tall blonde was pulled out of her thoughts and looked over to Minako who still fed a giggling May-chan. A honest smile laid on Ami's face and her cheeks were redden. She looked simply beautiful and once more Haruka understand why Minako waited all those years. Why she never gave up her hope. Why she was so patient – still now. Why she would stay with Ami probably the rest of her life – simply waiting if the senshi of water would make up her mind – one day...

"Hai. Actually I wanted to fetch her from the airport, but she decided to take the car." Haruka shrugged her shoulders.

"She does all the way by car? All the 500 miles?"

"Hai." Michiru stroke again through blonde strands. "What do you think from whom Haruka inherited her wild temper?"

Shall I talk to her?

Chibiusa looked over to Hotaru who still beat on her potatoes who became mush during the past hour.

What shall I tell her?

The princess sighed deeply.

She didn't even read my letter...

Shall I talk to her?

Hotaru stirred in her mash, not seeing how Chibiusa raised her head. She didn't dare to look at her once best friend.

What shall I tell her?

"Can you give me the beans?" Helios grinned at Hotaru and thanked her as she handled him the bowl. He looked great in the dark blue shirt he was wearing. Without pause he talked to Makoto and the young cook explained him patiently how to cook this and how to cook that. His blue eyes sparkled and suddenly Hotaru saw again the beautiful couple before her eyes. The couple she had only seen once – in a shop's window. Being embraced by her shadow.

He must have loved them a lot.

Hotaru smiled slightly as he asked for the ketchup.

I am sure that they're happy that he found such a nice family.

The dark haired girl sighed again and concentrated again on her meal. Hearing all the happy voices around. Wondering why she felt so empty inside. Empty and lost. Between all those persons she loved so much.

Love...

What had been so important about that letter?

Hotaru didn't know. She didn't understand. And she didn't dare to ask.

At that moment the bell ring. Before they could react, Yuki-chan already ran through the whole house and opened the door with all her energy.

"Granny!"

Her loud scream could be heard overall.

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"My little shooting star." Laughed the old woman and swirled around with the little girl in her arms. Her bags fell down on the ground and Miyuki laughed happily.

"My granny!"

They danced through the whole corridor until they reached the living-room. Haruka and Michiru stood there in the frame. Holding hands. Both smiled at Tenô Annie. Haruka's mother who was born in Europe, but grew up in Japan. Who met her great love in Tokyo and stayed when her own family went back to Europe.

Annie let her granddaughter down and embraced her daughter. She had always been proud of her. Her Haru-chan had always known what she wanted. She wanted to sit in fast race cars. She wanted to go to that private school when he was sixteen. And she wanted Michiru. She wanted her more than anyone else in her life. Annie knew that she would have even given up her car racing for her wife.

Of course first she had been worried. Worried about her stubborn daughter. Not shocked that her Haru-chan fell in love with another woman. Not disgusted that her daughter was gay. No, she had simply been concerned. The same concerned she would have been if Michiru would have been a boy, not a girl. Annie only wanted to see her daughter happy. Her one and only child. Her light after her husband got so ill. After the doctors told her that he wouldn't experience his 50th birthday. That was two years before he fell in coma and never woke up again.

"It's nice to see you, Haru-chan."

Hai, she had been very worried when Haruka declared her that she wanted to go to that private school. That she wanted to share a room there with her girlfriend. Of course Annie wanted to get to know that girl. Just one evening had been enough to show her that Michiru was a nice girl. That she loved her Ruka more than anything else. After that evening Annie had been prepared to let her Haru-chan go. The tall blonde was grown up. And with Michiru by her side she would never be really alone.

"It's nice to see you, mommy."

Mommy.

Annie grinned. Her daughter was now a mommy herself. Something Annie would have never expected. She had thought that Michiru would be the one giving birth to a child one day. But Michiru couldn't and so Haruka overtook that part. And she did it great.

"Come here, my most favourite daughter-in-law." Annie brought Michiru to her chest and squeezed her gently.

"I am your only daughter-in-law."

"Hush. Not so loud. Anyone can hear you."

Michiru smiled. Annie was the woman the young violinist believed her wife would become one day. She was tall, even in her old age very strong and lively. Her green eyes sparkled lucky and her once blonde hairs were now grey. She was still thin and full of energy. She knew so many things to tell and sometimes she behaved like a teenager.

Michiru knew that she would love Haruka if she would be that way one day. Even as old grandparents. When Hotaru or Yuki-chan would have children one day.

"And where's my other granddaughter?" Annie stepped into the room and a big grin formed on her face as she saw all the well-known faces. All her daughter's friends were here. Even the queen. But Annie was too old to be formal to the young woman. Especially when she was dirtied with what looked like chocolate cake all over.

"My Himme-chan." She smiled and took her oldest grandchild in her arms. "You grew a lot."

"During the past five months?" Hotaru held her simply tight. She loved her. Suddenly she imagined to see her granny in the mirror. Together with that shadow. Knowing that Annie was too far away to help her right in time.

Hotaru gulped and squeezed her even harder. She didn't want to think about it.

I will never loose you.

She knew, one day that day would arrive. One day she would loose her. One day the old woman would be too old. Simply too old. Just like her parents would be too old one day.

I will never loose one of you.

Hotaru knew that no one could turn back time, that no one could trick death. But she knew that she didn't want to experience it. Not during the next at least twenty years.

I love you all so much.

They stood there for some minutes. Not in silence, because the others started to talk and to eat, too. Rei and Usagi argued again and Minako and Sejya simply started to sing an old song. From a musical. About eternal love. May-chan giggled and accompanied them. With her high, clear voice. Ami only sat on her chair and gulped. Staring at Minako and her daughter singing together. She gulped again but couldn't turn away.

Shortly Annie and Haruka exchanged glances. Haruka only shook her head and Michiru shrugged helpless her shoulders.

"Don't you wanna hear the story I heard in South Africa?" she grinned and slowly let go of her granddaughter who held her tight with all her powers. Thoughtful she looked into dark eyes that were filled with tears.

"What's up, honey?"

"You'll stay, won't you?" whispered Hotaru and panic grew inside her heart. She didn't dare to turn and look into a mirror. The icy feeling wasn't there, but the same fear. The fear she always feared. Every day in her life. More than she could bare.

"Of course." Annie, who felt that Hotaru meant more than just Christmas holidays, nodded. "Of course, my Himme-chan."

Himme-chan.

Hotaru smiled and took a deep breath.

Only daddy and granny call me this way.

Quickly she looked over to her daddy who had wrapped her right arm around her mommy's waist.

I love them all so much.

"And you must be the princess." Annie went over to the table and sat down on the place that was still empty. Haruka had known that she would come before midnight and took a plate for her on the table, too.

"My... you grew a lot, too."

Chibiusa blushed and soon the old woman started to speak. In a pleasant, calm voice. To tell them what she had seen this year in South Africa. Just the past month. What some people told her. Old stories. Fantastic stories. Sometimes even true stories. They ate the rest of their meals and listened breathless to Annie's stories. Haruka simply took Michiru on her lap and rocked her to the soft Christmas music. Makoto took care for a fire in the chimney and the atmosphere was quiet and comfortable. Yuki-chan and May-chan sat next to the old woman, both with opened mouths. Even Usagi and Rei forgot their argument. Tami-chan feel asleep in his daddy's arms and Kakyuu looked very proud at her two guys. Helios leaned back and simply enjoyed it to be there. He had feared that his first Christmas without his parents would be a total catastrophe, but it wasn't. No, it wasn't. It was a great Christmas and he knew that his parents would be happy to see him here. With so many people who obviously loved him.

Minako laid her hands on Ami's shoulders and smiled at her. To show her that she wasn't alone. That THIS was her family. That she shouldn't feel ashamed of anything, because they all liked her. She was part of this family and that May-chan loved her. And that she, Minako, would always be there for her. Ami blushed slightly and nodded. Then she concentrated again on the old woman's words. But she kept were she was. She didn't turn around. Didn't push Minako's hands away.

All felt happy and like Christmas Eve.

But Chibiusa and Hotaru.

Hotaru had sat down next to the chimney. Next to a big dog who came out of the kitchen as he was sure that no child would haunt him any more and laid down on the soft carpet. Thoughtless Hotaru petted the soft fur and stared on her own feet. Wondering what she should say. How she should react.

It was only a simple letter! I couldn't know that Helios is her older brother now!

Hotaru sighed deeply. But no one heard it.

It doesn't make any difference, does it? Little darling would never understand! It took her over three months to write me one single letter! She would have been more worried if she'd felt more for me than simple friendship.

Hotaru brought her legs to her chest and leaned against the warm stone.

Wouldn't she?

Chibiusa sat on her chair, still stirring in her chocolate pudding. Surely it was delicious, but she didn't have any hunger any more. The whole day she had to think of Hotaru's strange behaviour the past day. Of words she didn't understand. Again she saw a sobbing Hotaru who crept deep in her embrace the past night. Not being aware that it had been the princess who held her tight.

Maybe I have been stupid? Maybe I am really a little bit like my mother? Maybe I believed to see what wasn't there. Maybe...

She sighed deeply and forgot to giggle as Annie said a joke. The others burst out into laughter and even Hotaru smiled. Only Chibiusa couldn't. The nearer the hour came when Hotaru would open her present, the sicker she felt.

Maybe it had been a stupid idea. From a total baka.

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"For my most favourite wife."

Haruka grinned and handled her lover a small package. Michiru giggled and took it. Her blue eyes sparkled in the fire's light and she looked simply beautiful.

It was now past ten in the evening and because the children looked already a little bit tired although they would have never admitted it aloud, they started to give each other the first presents.

"You only have one wife."

"Hush! Not so loud. Anyone can hear you."

Michiru giggled again and kissed her love tenderly.

"You're as crazy as your mother, Ruka."

"That are the genes. I am innocent."

"Of course."

Carefully Michiru opened the small box and held the next moment an sparkling ear ring against the candle's light burning on the table next to them. They both sat in a comforting armchair, Michiru on Haruka's lap. Diamonds sparkled like rainbows in the dimmed light.

"Oh... Ruka..." Michiru turned them around and suddenly her hands started to shake. Once she had have the same ear rings. They had been a give from her own mother. To her tenth birthday. That had been a few weeks before she died in a tragic plane accident. Together with her father. Afterwards Michiru came to forster parents who didn't like her a lot and even beat her. Until she got to know Haruka and Haruka got to know about that evil couple. Over night she kidnapped Michiru and moved with her to the private school. Michiru tried to take as much as she owned with her, but those ear rings had been in the safe of the forster parents. Although Michiru had loved that jewellery, she left it behind.

"That's the original." Haruka's voice was suddenly very hoarse.

"How..." Tear sparkled in deep blue eyes and Michiru felt how her wife held her tighter.

"Don't ask me how, Michi." Haruka took a deep breath. She didn't want to think of the cruel day she spent with the couple she hated more than all of the youmas they ever met. It had taken her a fortune but finally they gave her back the jewellery. "A good jeweller's shop cleaned them and now they're like new."

"Oh... Ruka..." Michiru turned around and kissed her lover with all her deep feeling. The kiss tasted a little bit salty.

"I want you to wear them tonight." Haruka's green eyes sparkled and she wiped away some tears from her wife's cheeks. "Only them..."

Michiru had the politeness to blush before she kissed her wife again.

"Merry Christmas."

Before Ami could react she held a small box in her hands. Surprised she raised her head and looked asking in Minako's grinning face. Suddenly she didn't know what to say, because she didn't think of an own present. Well, of course she had a present for the love senshi, too. But it was a normal present. Just like all the other got from her, too. But this small box in her hands looked special.

I am no special...

"I can't..." Ami's eyes darkened and she wanted to push the box away.

"Of course you can." The grin didn't weaken on Minako's face. Attentive she stared into a suddenly very pale face and squeezed icy hands. "It's okay, Ami. Just take it. I wanted to make you a little joy. Nothing more."

Ami gulped and nodded. Finally she unwrapped the little gift and gasped hard for breath as she saw the jewellery. A silver necklace. A blue jewel looked like the deep sea. Just like Ami's eyes that were now filled with tears. She shook her head and needed some tries until she was able to speak.

"That's too precious for me. I can't... really, Mina, I can't..."

"You're precious. That's why you should wear it." Answered Minako simply and put her hands around Ami's holding the necklace tight.

"But... I can't... that's..."

"If you won't take it I'll be very, very angry. Just like May-chan."

"She knew about it?" Ami raised her eyebrows.

"Of course."

"You love her a lot, don't you?" The young doctor glanced over to the two girls who were too occupied with her own presents to see anything else any more. Annie helped them to unwrap their presents and Mamoru was suddenly very busy in taking photos. With Haruka's camera.

"Hai." Minako looked directly into blue eyes.

I love you two.

"I..." Ami turned around and gulped as she saw the hurt expression on Minako's normally grinning face. She took a deep breath.

I hurt her so often. With almost every day that passes by. She cares for May-chan. She cares for me. But I can't give her anything back in return. Nothing. Not since that day...

"Arigato, Mina. The necklace is beautiful." Ami smiled relieved as a big grin bloomed again on Minako's face. She let go of Ami's hands and took the necklace carefully.

"Lift your hairs." She said and her hands trembled a little bit as she laid the jewellery around the young doctor's neck. It looked perfect there. No, Ami looked simply perfect. Her cheeks were now redden and a happy smile laid on her face as she watched how her daughter unwrapped her gift. A huge teddy bear Minako couldn't resist to buy. With a big scream the girl ran over to them. First she embraced Minako, then her mommy. It looked as if she didn't let go again. Ami only embraced her and held her tight. With a tender expression on her face. With a proud expression.

I wish she would look this way every day.

Minako gulped and didn't even realize that Mamoru raised his camera and took some photos of them, too.

I wish she would look at me the same way she looks at May-chan. With so much love...

Again it rang on the door. This time it was Helios who ran to open it. Some moments later he returned with a big envelope in his hands.

"It's for you, Hotaru." He said and handled it to the tall girl who was quickly surrounded by her family. Even Chibiusa left her chair and went over.

"Nani?" whispered Hotaru and a smile crossed her face as she recognized the neat handwriting. "That's from Marie!" she shouted and sat down on the soft carpet and ripped open the envelope. "My... that must have cost her a fortune. She only sent it yesterday." Hotaru giggled excited her pale cheeks reddened as all the photos fell out.

"I can't believe it! She secretly took my films! And she made her films as well." Hotaru's dark eyes sparkled and suddenly Chibiusa felt hurt. Hurt and alone. Jealousy burned in her soul. As hard and as hot as she had never experienced before.

Again that Marie! What does she want from her? What does this girl want from my Taru?

Chibiusa gulped as she saw how different photos were handled. They all sat down around the excited giggling girl. Only Chibiusa kept standing. Not able to move. Not able to say a word. Even not able to think any longer. Not a clear thought. All that excited in her heart was jealousy. And pain.

"That's Marie on the horse there. It's called Sarah, but she calls it Sarah." Explained Hotaru and handled the photo over to Haruka who only made a face. She had the same fear of horses her daughter had. She would have never admitted it aloud, but Michiru and Hotaru knew it. They both grinned at each other.

"That would be great for you, too, wouldn't it, Haru-chan?" was all Annie commented.

"Marie comes from France and calls me 'otaru, because she has difficulties to say the h . But that's okay." Hotaru giggled and held up another photo. "And she loves pink dresses. Although she looks cute this way."

Cute?

That girl should be cute?

Chibiusa was raging. But still she didn't know what to say. Especially not when all people, even her parents were around.

Cute?

"Oh..." Hotaru blushed and wanted to hide another photo. But Michiru was faster and smiled as she looked at it.

"You still have your samurai costume?" she giggled and held it over to Sejya.

"Well... that was our Christmas promotion. I... I didn't like those dresses there and thought, hey, let's show them a little bit of Japanese tradition. They liked it."

"You played the piano there?" Sejya looked interested. Surely he was already dreaming of having Hotaru on his stage. The way he always dreamed of having Haruka there. Haruka who often denied.

"Hai. Some other people wanted to sing some easy songs and I played for them." Hotaru showed another picture. "And that is Cindy. She sang a song about cats. It was really funny." Hotaru looked in disbelieve at all the pictures and knew that she did the right thing in buying Marie the pink kimono.

"Oh... and here we danced. Actually I didn't want to dance on the promotion, but Marie has a kind of convincing one..." Hotaru shrugged with her shoulders and blushed deeply as another picture was handled around.

Dancing?

My Taru is dancing with that bitch?

Chibiusa looked for a long time on the picture. It showed Hotaru in a dark tuxedo costume. Dancing arm in arm with a blonde girl. Who wore a strange pink dress. Both laughed and seemed to have fun with each other.

Dancing?

How can she...

And I thought...

Chibiusa let her shoulders hang and put the picture away. Suddenly she felt very tired. Suddenly she only wanted to go in her bed and put her pillow over her head.

I had been so wrong all those years. So wrong...

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Annie who was very often about those things since she discovered that her daughter was gay, giggled as Hotaru blushed deeply.

"Nope, you curious devil-chan." Answered Hotaru and showed her her tounge. "That's Kevin, Marie's boyfriend. And believe me, granny, it took me endless weeks to get them together."

"You're just like your daddy." Grinned Annie and shortly looked at Sejya who held his sleeping son tight in his arms.

Kevin?

Marie's boyfriend?

So that French girl isn't Taru's girlfriend?

Chibiusa stared at the laughing boy with short brown hairs and frowned.

Of course she isn't Hotaru's girlfriend. Hotaru isn't like her parents. Otherwise she would have told me. Me, her best friend.

The princess gulped and finally sat down o her chair again. Staring into the dying flames of a candle.

Wouldn't she?

"And now, let's sing karaoke." Minako's eyes sparkled as she grabbed Ami's hands and pulled her on her feet as they had seen all of Marie's photos.

"First let's take Tami-chan into his bed upstairs." Declared Kakyuu and took her son into her arms. Five minutes later the couple reappeared and they started to sing. Yuki-chan and May-chan who seemed to have been tired some minutes ago were awoke with a sudden and danced and sang and laughed, too.

The best one was Haruka and Sejya singing a love song. Haruka as the shy girl and Sejya as the strong, protecting boy. They all laughed as the two actors blushed deeply.

Annie song a song about an old locomotive and Usagi and Rei sang about all day life. About Friday the 13th and that everything could go wrong. Just like their performance. Usagi stumbled and fell right on Rei who fell from the couch they misused as stage. After they made sure that none of them hurt themselves they all burst into laughter again.

They all. But Chibiusa who was suddenly very nervous.

Shall I? Shall I not?

"Taru?"

It was the moment when Michiru and Makoto sang a song about an old samurai fighting against a dragon. Of course Makoto was the dragon and Michiru the brave samurai. Yuki-chan screamed that her mommy should win while Makoto's dog suddenly sat on her lap and wanted to be petted.

"Hai, Chibiusa?"

The princess was for a moment too stunned to react. Her hands who held a package tight, trembled and she almost let it fall.

Chibiusa?

Not little darling?

The pink haired girl couldn't remember a time, not a single time when Hotaru called her different than little darling. It had been her nickname and everyone knew that.

When did she decide to call me my normal name? And why?

Chibiusa took a deep breath and pushed the package into Hotaru's hands.

"Merry Christmas, Taru." Chibiusa kneaded her hands and gulped as she saw how Hotaru wanted to put the package away. "Open it now. Please."

Hotaru raised her eyebrows, but didn't respond anything. While Michiru misused a loaf bread to fight against Makoto who petted her old doggy with passion and tried to make him growl at the young violinist, Hotaru sat back on the table and unwrapped carefully the present.

I didn't even give her my CD.

Hotaru saw the old fairy tale book and took a deep breath. It was very old and the tall girl was sure that her friend searched very long to find it. Shortly she opened the book to read the table of content. If her most favourite fairy tale was in there too. But she didn't read it. Instead she stared at the few words on the first page. Right above a smiling frog. Hotaru knew the writing. It was Chibiusa's neat one. There were no lines under the words. Chibiusa seemed to have written them simply down into the book. Not the way she normally wrote into poetry books of class mates.

Nani?

Hotaru read the few words again and again. Until she understood them. But without understanding their meaning. Their real meaning.

_ Dear Hotaru,_ she could read. _merry Christmas. This book is sixty years old as the bookseller told me. Hope I'll still know you when I am that old one day. And I hope that I'll still love you the way I do right now. Your little darling_. 

What love does she mean? The love to an old friend? To her best friend? To the older sister she never had? Simply to someone who belongs to her family?

Hotaru raised her head and her eyes grew wide as she saw tears sparkling in pink eyes. As she saw the fear there. The unsafeness.

Little darling's frightened? Unsure? What of?

"It's now your turn!" Suddenly Minako stood there and grabbed for Chibiusa's arm. "Don't worry, it's an easy song. Do you wanna join her, Hotaru-chan?"

Hotaru stared at her for some moments. Then she rose from her chair and shook her head.

"I need a little bit fresh air." She marbled before she crossed the room. They could hear the front door.

Nani?

Chibiusa kneaded her icy hands harder and looked unsure at the book. Still laying open at the table.

Wasn't it right? Did I loose her? Her friendship? Her trust?

"It's too hot in the room. I told you." Rei looked suddenly very concerned. Just like Haruka and Michiru. "Hope she doesn't faint now."

"I'll take a look for her." Chibiusa grabbed the book and stumbled over her own feet. Minako held her tight and sighed that she was indeed like her mother. Usagi didn't respond. She was too occupied to steal Rei a chocolate bar. "I am sure some minutes outside will be good for her. We'll be back soon."

With those words Chibiusa left the others behind. Not caring how stupid she might have looked. Her thoughts and her worries were too big that she would have worried about anything else than her Taru.

Maybe I ruined everything with those words.

Maybe...

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Hotaru stood motionless in the fresh snow. Snow flakes danced around her figure. She had wrapped her arms around her slim body. Of course she froze like hell. It was Christmas Eve, almost midnight. She forgot her jacket and only wore her house shoes. But she wouldn't return. Not now. Not as long as Chibiusa was still in the house. Not as long as her illjudged words hurt her so much.

Love! Chibiusa had always talked about love. About the love to her parents. To her aunts and her uncles. To her friends. To her best friend. Always talking about the love a sister would feel. Just that Hotaru felt something else.

I should have stayed in America.

Hotaru took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The rushes of the waves couldn't calm her down this time. But nevertheless they sounded so comforting familiar.

I should have never come back. To this place. To my little darling who doesn't understand me at all...

"Taru?"

She winced wildley as suddenly a warm jacket was put around her hanging shoulders.

"Don't you freeze?"

Hotaru didn't turn around as she heard Chibiusa's quiet voice. For a long time they stood there in silence. Both watching the snow flakes floating down to earth. Both of them thinking their own personal thoughts. Both of them asking how to start.

"Go back, Chibiusa. It's cold and I am sure your mother don't want you to be ill tomorrow on the official festival in the Crystal palace."

"Chibiusa? Not little darling?" Chibiusa felt how tears burned in her eyes. She didn't know what she had awaited from her little note in the book, but somehow she had hoped that Hotaru wouldn't react the way she reacted right now. "Why did you run away?"

Hotaru didn't answer. She only stood there, stared wordless into the black waves. Some lights came from the house but her face was in shadows. So that Chibiusa couldn't see the expression.

"Is it because of my words?"

There was the sound of a sob, but somehow Chibiusa couldn't move. She was like paralysed.

"When will you finally stop to torture me in that way?" whispered Hotaru and clenched her fists. "When will you finally leave me in peace? It already hurts enough..."

"What hurts?" Chibiusa was now totally confused. Once she had understand her best friend so well, now she wasn't even sure if it was indeed Hotaru who stood next to her. The human she trusted the most on this earth. The person who meant the most in her life.

"You really ask what? Are you really so blind like your mother? That you promise your love to someone knowing you can't keep it?" Hotaru stroke a strand that escaped her knot behind her ears. Her hand trembled.

"Nani?" Chibiusa frowned, holding the book still tight in her own hands. "Do you want to say that my love to you hurts?"

"I don't want your love!" Hotaru spread her arms and pushed the jacket away. She stepped a little bit towards the water and a total astonished Chibiusa followed her automatically. "I don't want it this way. Didn't you ever notice it? Did you never see the signs?" Hotaru sighed and lowered defeated her head to stare at her snow covered house shoes. "Do you understand what I am talking about?"

"No... not really." The princess swallowed and bowed to pick up the jacket. "What love are you talking about?"

Still Hotaru could lie. Still she could say some words that were not true, invent a story. Just to go back to the light house and to end this Christmas. Just to go back to America. And maybe, never return again. At least not to the princess of Crystal Tokyo.

I could lie to her.

Hotaru knew that Chibiusa was worth a thousand lies. That she was worth everything. That Hotaru would have anything just to see the princess happy. Just to know that she still was her friend. At least her friend.

No, she deserves the truth.

Hotaru rubbed her burning eyes.

"Your feelings towards me. I mean..."

Chibiusa closed her eyes and tears burned behind her lashes.

Your knew that it was senseless. You knew it from the beginning on. And now you lost her faith and probably her friendship!

"I mean... it's very honourable that you see an older sister in me. You're the princess of Crystal Tokyo and to be your sister and that would mean that I would be a little bit royal, too." Hotaru grinned but it was a sad grin. "It's the best friendship I ever had, Chibiusa. We could do all those crazy things and somehow I hoped that it would stay always this way. That you wouldalways be there. That we would make so much nonsense together. Driving our parents crazy. First I thought that Helios is your boyfriend and... and that kinda opened my eyes. Suddenly I saw that it would never stay the way it had been, Chibiusa. That you wouldn't stay my little darling forever. That you would leave me one day." Hotaru dug with her shoes in the soft snow. "I mean..." she sighed deeply. It was so hard to say it. Even all those months. Even all the nights she laid awake. "When you talk about love, you mean friendship, Chibiusa. I mean something different."

Chibiusa gulped as she head the silent confession of her best friend.

Can it be?

Is it real?

"Is that why you went to America and not to Kyoto or Tokyo?" Chibiusa felt how her heart beat violently inside her chest. Her thoughts spun around and she felt suddenly very dizzy. Did she understand Hotaru's words right? Was there another chance for her? A chance for a late, but final happy end?

"Hai." Nodded Hotaru and took another deep breath. Everything was too late. Why didn't she tell Chibiusa all the ugly story? Then it would be out. Then it would be over. And Hotaru could go to America with hopefully a better conscience. Maybe it would be easier for her to return the next summer. "I thought that I could change my mind there. That I could forget you and..." Hotaru took another deep breath. "And maybe to find someone else. So that I can return and see you without that pain..."

"Did it work?" Chibiusa didn't dare to breath. Marie had a boyfriend, but what was when Hotaru lied to her parents? Too afraid to tell them that she was like them.

Is Hotaru really like them?

Really?

There was a shaky laughter from Hotaru and she buried her hands in her pockets.

"Nope. Of course it didn't."

For a long time they stood there in silence. Listening again to the waves. Hotaru had her eyes closed. As she had awaited did Chibiusa finally move.

Surely she's walking back.

Hotaru felt how her head ache increased. Just like the pain in her heart.

That's the worst Christmas in my whole life.

"Taru?"

Slowly she opened her eyes as she felt how the jacket was again pulled around her shoulders. For some seconds Hotaru stared into pink eyes she loved so much. Again she saw a little girl chasing her through the palace's garden. Again she saw a small girl splashing her with ocean water. Again she saw a grown girl sitting on a slice. Wanting her to join her. Again she saw her best friend sitting in her bed. Holding the remote control in her hands and showing grinning at the TV. At the horror video she smuggled from her father's collection.

It had been so many nice years.

Two tears escaped Hotaru's eyes and ran slowly over her pale cheeks.

So damn nice years. I wish I could make them return again. I wish I could turn back time. I wish little darling would always be my best friend.

Chibiusa smiled unsure and raised her hands. Hotaru didn't wince away. She only lowered her head and stared now at the snow again on the ground. She felt how Chibiusa opened the knot and black hairs fell over her shoulders. The princess's hands were tenderly as she stroke some strands out of Hotaru's face behind her ears. Then she put her hands under the taller girl's chin and forced her, to look back into her face.

"I like your hair more when you have it open." Whispered Chibiusa and couldn't breath any longer. Her heart beat increased and she gulped as she saw again into dark eyes.

What if I understood her wrong? Wouldn't be the first time in my life...

Chibiusa gulped again and blinked.

Even if I misunderstood her, that's worth it. Surely...

The princess ignored her inner voice and leaned forward. Hotaru's eyes grew wide but she didn't react. She only stood there and let Chibiusa wrap her arms around her neck. They could feel each other's warm breath on their cold cheeks. None of them dared to speak. None of them dared to move. None of them dared to do anything than staring in the other one's sparkling eyes. Until Chibiusa stepped on her tip toes. Her lips touched tenderly Hotaru's. It was only for a light second and the next moment the princess stood again in the snow, only some inches away, but it had been the gentlest touch Hotaru ever experienced.

"Don't ya know, Taru, that I've always talked about love?" whispered Chibiusa and swallowed hard. "I don't mean friendship when I say I love you . Don't ya know, Taru?" The princess blushed but still didn't let go. "I love you, Taru." It was nothing more than a silent whisper. But for Hotaru it was the loudest scream. Her heart jumped and for some second she thought she would faint. She felt so dizzy but the same time so incredibly... happy? Did she feel happy?

She loves me!

Hotaru didn't know if she should start to laugh or to cry.

She loves me!

My little darling loves me!

Chibiusa, unsure about Hotaru's reaction, or better, her missing reaction, wanted to let go. But that moment she felt how strong arms embraced her. How Hotaru pulled her nearer to her own trembling body. Then she kissed her. With all her love. They both closed their eyes and the world stopped to exist. Everything vanished into the night's darkness. Only they were left over. Shipwrecked in an endless sea. That only belonged to them.

I love you, Taru.

I love you so much, little darling.

It seemed to take eternity until they separated again. Tenderly they smiled at each other. The first real expression on their now blushed faces. Then they started to giggle.

"Guess we've been really stupid." Laughed Chibiusa and messed Hotaru's dark hairs. Her braided plaid laid over her right shoulder and her lips were red and swollen. She looked as messed as Hotaru, but the same time the princess looked as beautiful as she had never looked before.

"The whole time I thought you would know it. And then you simply go to America and leave me alone."

Hotaru gulped and caressed tenderly blushed cheeks.

"When I'll return from America in spring I'll never leave you alone again, little darling."

Little darling.

Chibiusa's heart made another jump.

"Do you give your Indian word of honour?" smirked Chibiusa and was suddenly the old Chibiusa Hotaru knew so well. Hotaru grew up. Hotaru feel so madly in love with. The cold, unreachable princess she had seen during the past hours disappeared until only a bitter sweat memory would remain.

"I do." whispered Hotaru and leaned again over to Chibiusa to kiss her again. Hai, that was again her little darling. But the same she was complete different. Because now she knew that she loved her.

I'll never leave you again, my love. Never again.

They closed again their eyes as their lips met. Not caring that they still stood in the deep snow. That flakes and light wind were playing with her clothes. That the sea rushed only some inches away. All they felt was each other.

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Christmas was over too soon. Just like the two weeks of vacations. Sejya, Minako and Michiru gave their concerts and the whole team listened to them, yelled at them, wanted them to sing a little bit more. Just like the rest of the audience. Granny Annie spent the whole time with them. They visited the zoo, the circus and went more than once to the cinema. Yuki-chan loved her granny and it was for May-chan the nicest Christmas present besides that her mommy didn't have to work, that she was allowed to call Annie her granny, too. She who didn't have any grandparents.

Those two weeks past by and before they could react they stood on the airport again. Saying goodbye to the old woman who would spend the rest of the winter in Brasilia. And they had to say goodbye to Hotaru who would return to the private school in America. The tall girl had have a long discussion with her girlfriend and Chibiusa decided that Hotaru should finish her year in America. That she should take the praxis lessons there and get an incredible good report. That the princess would wait until spring. Four more months, but Chibiusa looked really brave and promised not to cry.

"We should better got. Before the others will be concerned. And before you miss your fly." Said Chibiusa between different kisses. They were in the bathroom to say goodbye. Or better, to kiss goodbye. Chibiusa didn't want to tell her parents right now. The situation was so new for her, she wanted a little bit more time until she would have to face her parent's stunned faces. The same was for Hotaru. Okay, her parents were gay, but still she felt unsafe whenever she thought about a discussion with them. So they decided to tell them later. When they would find the right words. One day..

"Do you want to kick me out?" giggled Hotaru and held her girlfriend a little bit tighter.

"Nope..." Chibiusa stroke through dark strands. "But you should really go outside, take your plane and hurry up so that you'll soon return." The princess broke softly the touch to Hotaru and stepped back. To correct her pullover and to handle Hotaru a hairbrush. The tall girl had her hair open again and it was only a matter of time until it looked messed. Especially with Chibiusa being around.

"Then let's go." Hotaru sighed deeply and kissed her girlfriend again.

"I'll only let you go under one condition."

"And that is?" Hotaru raised her eyebrows and kissed Chibiusa again.

Hell, I love you so much!

"Write a letter."

Hotaru laughed, took a suddenly squeaking Chibiusa in her arms and swirled around with her through the whole bathroom.

"One letter? I'll write you thousands, little darling."

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	6. Chapter 5: A shadow from another time

Chapter five: A shadow from another time 

She sat on her chair. Behind her desk. As she did every evening. Every day when she came back to her room. Back from the hospital where she spent her praxis lessons. Together with so many other people from her class who wanted to become a doctor one day. Cindy was there, too. During the past months they became really good friends. Cindy wanted to become a dentist and worked in another wing of the hospital than Hotaru. They mostly met for lunch and talked about different things.

_ Little darling... _

"Still 'aving your written love affair?" laughed Marie and wrapped a towel around her wet hairs. She had a date with Kevin this evening and wanted to look extremely beautiful. As always. She worked at another hospital. A hospital for animals. Where she learned some things she could use for her studies to become a vet some day. The rest of the time she spent with Kevin or at the horse farm. Hotaru often visited her, but the time was rare during their praxis lessons.

"Of course!" answered Hotaru giggling and blushed again. Marie knew that Chibiusa was a girl and that Hotaru fell madly in love with her. But that was okay for Marie. Hotaru returned from her Christmas holidays like another person. She was happy, talked a lot and for the first time told Marie something about her family. About her parents being both women. About the queen and the king of Japan being her friends. About Chibiusa, her little darling. The girl who conquered Hotaru's heart. There was no not one day when not a letter arrived from Japan. When Hotaru didn't write a letter herself. Marie was happy for her Japanese friend. She shivered whenever she remembered of the desperate girl at the Christmas promotion. Wearing a strange costume to show everyone that she was a freak. That she was a lesbian. But for Marie she was normal. As normal as other people, too. And she was happy. She was happy in love with someone else.

"W'at is Chibiusa doing?"

"Oh, writing this and that." Hotaru blushed even deeper and held the letter like a shield before her chest. Marie giggled and took her hairbrush.

"You don't 'ave to tell me more, petite. I understood." The French girl blinked and disappeared again in the bathroom to get herself ready.

Hotaru sighed happily and turned again towards her desk. Staring for some seconds at the second picture she put on the table. Right to her family. It showed her how they went for a walk along the snowy beach on Christmas morning. Granny Annie had taken the photo without them noticing it. They held hands and glanced over to the calm water of the wide ocean. The sun rose and it all looked a little bit mysterious.

I love you so much.

It was now April and soon her time in America would be over. Just one more week and they would get their reports. Hotaru would return to Japan. To her little darling. Cindy would stay here. As she did for the past six years. Marie would return to France and finish school. Then she would return to America and start her studies near Kevin. They were a couple now and Hotaru didn't doubt that they would stay it. Maybe even for the rest of their lives.

I miss you so much.

Hotaru smiled dreamy as she pulled the old envelope out. The letter was very thick. About twenty pages. It was the longest and the same time the first love letter the tall girl had ever received in her life. The first pages were normal. Chibiusa had written about different events that took part in Tokyo. Just like Helios' adoption. Then her style changed completely and she said all the words Hotaru had dreamed of just half a year ago. Openly she had written about her deep feelings and her deep love towards her best friend.

No wonder she had been shocked when I told her that I didn't read it.

It must have been taken all of Chibiusa's courage and strength to write all her thoughts down. In one single letter.

And then I come home and disobey her. No wonder she looked so confused and hurt.

But Hotaru knew that she would never do that silly mistake again. Now they knew about each other's love and would never doubt again.

It almost went wrong.

But only almost. In the end they had been able to tell each other their love and now Hotaru could hardly wait to see her little darling again. To embrace her again. To kiss her again...

The dark haired girl sighed again and stared again at the framed picture right in front of her.

"Are you ready with you letter?" Suddenly a grinning Cindy stood behind her. "Then we could go to the cinema. They show a very nice movie. About a boy communicating with his dead father in the past over the phone."

"Hm..." Hotaru glanced over to the bathroom door and heard Marie's happy singing.

"Don't worry about our French girl. I asked her, but she has something else to do with her Kevin." Cindy grabbed Hotaru's hand and pulled her with her. "Common, Hotaru, let's go. Your boyfriend can wait until tomorrow."

Cindy who didn't know which gender the name Chibiusa had thought that Hotaru wrote all those letters to her new boyfriend. Marie and Hotaru let her in that believe, because they both didn't know how the politician's daughter would react. Nor did they want to loose the friendship they won since the Christmas promotion.

Since that day she even pronounced Hotaru's name the right way.

"Okay." The tall girl gave up and soon the door closed behind them. "As long as you give me a little bit of your popcorn."

"You are greedy, do you know that, Hotaru?"

"Hai."

Their laughter could be heard all over the school yard.

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"Mizuno-san?" The nurse came quickly nearer. It was a typical Saturday evening. A lot to do. A lot of people simply underestimate their body in the weekend. The weather was fantastic and they had have several emergencies when an old man fell off his bike and broke his arm or his leg.

"Hai?" Ami didn't look up from her medical instruments. She didn't have an operation this evening, but she wanted to be sure that everything was in order in the case she had to take care for a very bad injured patient.

"Can you remember, I talked about the new doctor who will start his work the next week."

"Hm?" Ami couldn't remember. But that was normal. She often nodded when people talked to her, but her mind was far away. Maybe with the little boy she had examined the past hour. Or with a pregnant mother who said thank you that she could heal her daughter from a dangerous flu. Or she was at home – in her minds together with her May-chan.

"He's now here and I can't find the other doctors. Could you show him where everything is?"

"Kinda sightseeing tour?" Still Ami didn't look up. She went over to the wash basin and cleaned her hands. She felt tired again but knew that she had a night shift. She wouldn't go before five in the morning.

Hope Mina doesn't let May-chan watch the whole movie.

"Right." The nurse looked at her watch. There were some patients she had to take care of. "Then... hope he's as good as they all say."

"Hm..." Ami heard as she hurried away. She still cleaned her hands, was lost in her thoughts. She didn't hear how someone came nearer. How some stepped near beside her. A she finally heard the voice, she winced hardly.

"Hi, baby. It had been a long time, hadn't it?"

Ami's head turned around and with big eyes she stared at the man who stood grinning opposite to her.

"I missed you, baby."

The young doctor gulped, but couldn't react as he came nearer.

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"Fifty seconds!" Hotaru looked at her watch and nodded appreciative as Marie left the swimming pool. It were there last exams they had to do. In their swimming lessons. Most of the girls would return home during the next days and Linda wanted to give them all an extra report about their swimming lesson. She was a real teacher. And took everything very serious.

"T'at was only swimming. You know my diving mark."

"Hai, and I know your mark you'll get from your animal hospital."

Marie had the politeness to blush.

"Well, it's a little bit better."

"A little bit better? Girl, you'll get the best mark!"

"And you'll get the best report this year."

They both grinned at each other and Hotaru handled Marie a dry towel. They were outside today. It was in the middle of April and very, very warm. Warm enough to swim in the summer pool. That was nicer. The air was fresher and there were green trees with nice shadows most people laid under when they had done their task or waited that it was their turn.

"Just two more days." Marie looked over to the tower that was as high as the one in the hall. "I can't believe it."

"Hai. Time runs fast."

"Don't look so sad. I am sure that you can't await it to go home. To go back to your Chibiusa."

Hotaru only blushed and shrugged her shoulders.

"And you don't want to leave your Kevin."

"You're so right... but it's only one year in France to finish school. And I'll visit him every holidays." Marie rubbed her hairs dry. "I trust him. He'll wait for me."

Hotaru shortly glanced at her and smiled. Marie became a really good friend of her and she only wished her the best for her future.

"I am sure he will. He loves you a lot."

"I hope so!"

Again they giggled and Hotaru concentrated of the next pupil who had to swim. She didn't do it under a minute but was satisfied with herself.

Then the next one and the next one. And the next one. The day passed by and Hotaru felt slightly hungry. The sun was already setting but the air was still warm. Surely they would take their lunch and go again to the swimming pool. To make a picnic and to talk about their future. As they often did during the past days.

"Taru!"

Hotaru frowned as she heard the familiar voice.

I must really miss her. I already hear her voice.

"Taru!"

But the scream sounded real. Just like the other scream that was high and shrill. Hotaru swirled around and saw how a girl with long, pink hairs stumbled over a towel someone threw careless on the ground. She rowed her arms but couldn't hold her balance. With a loud splash she fell into the now empty swimming pool.

"Little darling?" whispered Hotaru and rubbed over her eyes. Not believing what she had seen. "Nani?"

"T'at can't be." Marie looked the same shocked. She stared at two young men who talked suggested with a small group of people. "Jacques? Jérome?"

"Your brother and his boyfriend?"

"Oui."

Hotaru looked over to the swimming pool and saw how a girl came back to the surface and gasped hard for breath.

"Then it's true, Marie. Believe me, with my parents everything is possible." Hotaru grinned and simply dove into the nice, warm water. She didn't care about her clothes any longer. She only wore short jeans and a dark shirt. It didn't matter if she wetted them. It only took her two seconds until she reached the still cursing girl.

That's my little darling!

Hotaru would have recognized the voice everywhere. She grabbed the other one's shoulders and turned her around. For a second was a puzzled look in Chibiusa's face. It soon turned into a bright smile.

My little darling...

Hotaru had the desire to kiss her girlfriend right here and now. But before she could even have pulled her closer, she heard the low laughter from the rim. They both turned their heads and saw Haruka and Sejya standing there. They laughed.

Nani?

In disbelieve Hotaru stared at her parents, her little sister, Helios, May-chan and Sejya and his family.

"How many people did come?" she asked and gasped for breath as water ran into her open mouth. Chibiusa only giggled and blushed deeply, because she knew that the others were laughing because of her clumsy dive into the swimming pool.

"Oh, I am sure that Ami is just studying the history of this school and Mina tries to get her over here." Chibiusa chuckled and couldn't resist and ran her hand through wet dark hairs. Hotaru let them grow. They now touched her back and suited her perfectly.

"Almost all could come. Only aunt Makoto has an important meeting. A cooking duel as I know. Rei has some important ceremonies she couldn't cancel. And my parents have to do with politics. So they're still in Tokyo."

"You all came? Now?" Hotaru was speechless. And endless happy.

"Hai. We thought that can do some vacations here. The weather is so nice warm here and after granny Annie told us about America we simply had to beg your parents."

"Your?"

"Yap. That's Helios, May-chan, Yuki-chan and me." Chibiusa beamed at her. "We were very successful." The princess didn't tell her girlfriend that they didn't have to beg too long. Haruka liked that idea and the very moment Michiru got to know about it, she started to pack their suitcases. So they arrived some days earlier than they had actually planned. The hardest task hadn't been to organise the flight or to get them all safe into the plan – without forgetting one. The hardest task had been to convince Ami to leave her hospital for the next two weeks. Of course it had been Minako who spoke with Ami's boss again and then for a long time with the young doctor. Who finally agreed.

"That was the best dive I've ever seen in my life, Chibi-chan." Laughed Helios and leaned forward to help his little sister out of the water. Chibiusa only showed him his tongue and wrung her hairs out. They hang wet over her shoulders and her whole appearance looked a little bit like a drown dog.

"Daddy! Mommy! I can't believe it." Hotaru was the same wet, but her parents didn't care about it as they embraced her.

"We thought we'll see where you go to school." Smiled Michiru and messed dark hairs. Hotaru beamed at her and spread her arms.

"That's Abraham Lincoln's school, mommy." Hotaru shook her head still in disbelieve. "I can't believe that you really all came."

"And I can't believe that you came!" whispered Marie and looked adoring up to her big brother who only grinned.

"S'e phoned me." He declared and pointed over to a grinning Haruka. "And ask if we would like to spend a vacation wit' them." Her big brother blinked and his grin grew wider. "You can invite Kevin as well."

"Maybe we should search a nice place for the picnic." Kakyuu rocked her son in his child seat. Still he slept, but she knew that he would get hungry within the next minutes. And that he would become very lively. He was now over a year old and started to walk. Soon he would run and be as wild as Yuki-chan and May-chan. Kakyuu couldn't await that moment.

"And you two get dry clothes. It's very hot but when you get a flu right now we can forget our vacation." Said Michiru and pulled a dry dress out of her handbag. Chibiusa was now almost as tall as the young violinist and that dress would fit her. Normally Michiru had have in her beg in the case she dirtied her clothes.

"Vacation?" said Marie and Hotaru in one voice, still not really understanding what was happening.

"Hai. Camping. Do you like that idea?"

"Oui."

"Hai."

Sejya only made a face, but it wasn't real.

"I am going camping with her! I can't believe it! We will all die!" he laughed as Haruka made an angry face and came slowly over to him. "She wants to grill! She who is able to burn water!" he laughed even louder as Haruka started to growl. "We will all starve!"

"No, we won't." Michiru giggled as she saw how Sejya stepped slowly backwards. Haruka's hands were still clenched, but she wouldn't beat him. "I brought some cookies with me."

Haruka turned her head and looked disappointed. She sulked and looked suddenly like a small child. But her eyes sparkled at her wife. Those were the few seconds when Hotaru could feel their love and knew that her parents would never separate. Whatever might happen, they would stay together. It was a calming feeling, making Hotaru sure that there would always be a place on this earth she could return to.

"You, too, Michi-chan?"

Michiru only giggled, stepped over to her love and kissed her shortly.

"Let's search for the perfect place. I am starving, Ruka."

The others agreed loudly.

"Let's get you dry again." Smirked Hotaru, took the dress from her mother, grabbed Chibiusa's hand and guided her towards the next building.

"Gladly." Chibiusa only grinned.

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The room was empty. Surely Cindy was in the near town with her best friends. To buy some souvenirs for her two always begging sisters. The sun's light shone directly through the big windows and Chibiusa had to blink. Slowly she stepped over to the desk and looked at the framed pictures.

"You have a very nice room." She said and took the picture of Hotaru and her in her hands. "You share it with Marie and Cindy, right?"

"Hm..." Hotaru nodded and put the dress over the chair. Then she embraced her girlfriend from behind and held her tight. "I missed you so much, little darling." She whispered in Chibiusa's hair and kissed her neck. The princess shivered a little bit and turned around in those soft arms. They both didn't care about their wet clothes any longer. For a long time they stared into each other's eyes. There was a brief moment of hesitation. Hai, they had written all those letters. Four months ago they declared each other they love. Four months... a long time. Maybe the other one...

The moment of doubt was gone before they even realized it. Hotaru felt how Chibiusa embraced her in return and simply kissed her. They closed their eyes and all the unspoken words hang in the air.

I love you, little darling.

I love you, Taru.

Their kiss got more passionate and Hotaru felt how her legs refused to carry her any longer as she tasted Chibiusa's tongue. It was sweeter than everything she could imagine.

I missed you so much.

It had been such a long time.

She pulled Chibiusa carefully over to the bed and they both landed giggling between the pillows. Shortly interrupting their kiss to look again into each other's eyes.

"Little darling..."

"Taru..."

Again they kissed. Forgetting that they actually wanted to get dry clothes and return to the others. Forgetting that the others surely waited for them. Actually forgetting where they were.

I will never leave you again.

I will never let you go again.

They laid there, holding each other tight. Feeling the other one's warm body pressed against the own one. It was an incredible feeling. So incredibly good.

"'otaru?"

At that moment the door was pushed open and Marie stood in the middle of the room. The two persons in the bed raised their heads and blushed deeply. The French girl only grinned as she stepped over to the bed.

"So you must be Chibiusa, 'otaru's written love affair." She teased them and before Chibiusa could react they had shook hands. Marie looked around and pulled a small, blue bottle out of the drawer. "I only forgot my sun block." She held the bottle up in the air and her face got softer. She was so happy that Hotaru finally fond someone. No, not anyone, but her little darling as she always called the pink haired girl.

"Better you hurry up a little bit. Or your crazy family will have eaten all the nice food they brought with them." Marie giggled as they both didn't respond anything. "Don't look at me that way. I am sure that you have to tell each other a lot, but guess it's better to come down for the next hours. You'll have enough time for each other during our vacation." Marie hummed a sweet melody and went over to the door again. Still Hotaru and Chibiusa looked only stunned. "And lock the door the next time. Before I'll have a real reason to blush."

They both nodded automatically. As the door was closed again, they looked at each other and burst out into laughter.

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The sun burned from a cloudless sky. Water reflected its light, sparkled in all lights of the rainbow. It was thrown into the air and different voices laughed. A little girl with long blonde hairs yelled a warrior scream in her native language, rolled herself up to a ball while she jumped and hopped into the water. Her best friend stroke some blue strands out of her redden face and clapped excitedly.

"That was great, Yuki-chan." Laughed Mayumi and swam like a fish through the water. She loved the element almost as much as her mother. "Can you show me how to do that?"

"Oh, that's very easy." Promised Miyuki, took her best friend's hand and they both left the water to go over to the small cliff. It was only some inches over the surface. The adults made sure that they wouldn't hurt by jumping from it into the water. The two girls were excellent swimmers but they didn't want to risk an accident.

"The last one is a lazy chicken." Chibiusa waved her arms and giggled as she saw how Hotaru and Helios ran over the grass. Or better, how they hobbled. The grass was very warm right now and the stones under it hard. They already stripped their shoes and were now barefoot. Hotaru wore a black swimsuit and her long hairs were moved by a light breeze of wind. She looked simply beautiful. Helios decided for blue shorts and a grin laid in his face.

I am glad to see him happy again.

There had been so many times during the last year when the boy simply broke down. Sobbed for hours. Couldn't calm himself down. Especially during the time of the funeral of his parents. There had been many nights when he couldn't sleep. When nightmares were haunting him down. When he came in Chibiusa's bed and held her tight as if she was his only life line. Now he looked like a normal boy at his age. There were no traces left in his face that he lost his family the past year. Of course, there were still times when he was very calm and looked sad, but right now they were in vacation and had a lot of fun. There was no moment left to moan right now. Not now. And especially not here.

Chibiusa who wore a yellow bikini ran through the low water and shivered slightly. It was colder than she had expected. The next moment Helios ran past her and disappeared in the water. Chibiusa's eyes grew wide and she yelled as Hotaru only grabbed her and pulled her with her in the fresh wet.

"Taruuuuuu! That's coooold!" squeaked Chibiusa but her scream quickly changed into a loud laughter. Helios blow up his water ball and soon they were playing. Throwing the ball at each other. Swimming after it. Diving under the surface. Laughing a lot. A happy smiled laid on three redden faces.

"Hm... that's nice... hm..." Michiru closed her eyes and purred like a kitten. Her wife sat on her legs and massaged her shoulders with sun block. Haruka smiled loving and her hands needed a little bit longer to protect her love's skin from the sun's rays. Michiru only wore her tight, dark blue bikini and Haruka regretted that there weren't alone.

"Do you hold him?"

"Of course, honey. I'd never let him go."

Haruka who kept massaging her love's back turned her head and looked over to Sejya who held his son's arms. The little boy babbled excitedly and kicked with his tiny legs in the low water. Kakyuu corrected her big sun hat and sat down in the sand to watch her husband and her child.

Once Himme-chan and Yuki-chan had been that small, too.

Michiru giggled as she opened her eyes and followed her wife's look.

"Do you want a third child?" she asked and shortly looked into startled green eyes.

"Nani?"

"You just looked so longing at Tami-chan, Ruka."

"Hm... do you want another child?" There was in expression on Haruka's face Michiru had seldom seen on her wife's face. She sat upright so that Haruka sat on her lap and stroke through blonde hairs.

"You know my opinion. I always wanted to have a football team." Michiru giggled as she saw Haruka's confused look. "Okay, a formula one race team."

"Thirty children? Goddess..." teased Haruka and they kissed shortly.

"It's your decision, Ruka." Michiru smiled and caressed tenderly Haruka's belly under the wide shirt she was wearing. Michiru wasn't able to give birth to a child and they both knew it. The young car racer only shook her head and held that hand tight. For a long time they looked at each other.

"It needs two to tango." She whispered finally.

"Oh, please not!" mocked Sejya who heard their words and held his son a little bit tighter. Tamahoe made a depressive face, he loved the water. He started to protest and soon he was again in the nice, fresh element up to his chest. He laughed happily at his mother and splashed her with water by kicking again with his tiny legs. "That would be one more of your kind. I am not sure if my nerves are going to survive that."

Haruka turned her head and they both grinned at each other. There was no hate in their looks. Only friendship. Even if it was the strangest friendship Kakyuu and Michiru had ever seen in their lives.

"Maybe it'll be this time a little bit more like Michi."

Sejya shook his head and laughed while he let his son sit on his right leg. Holding him tight under his arms so that the little boy could grab with his tiny hands for the water.

"Forget it, baka. Every child of you will be a tomboy. That's simply in your genes." He pointed over to Miyuki who yelled and jumped again from the cliff. Mayumi looked helpless for a moment and finally jumped, too. But it didn't look as brave as Yuki-chan's dive. "It's not your fault."

"Oh, thank you!" snapped Haruka but her dark eyes sparkled.

"Besides, do you really want to know again what the queen of England does right now?"

"Why not? It was very interesting. Especially about that princess."

"She died in the meantime."

Haruka grinned over to Kakyuu.

"Don't you tell me that he read all those silly magazines to you, too."

The read haired princess nodded and they burst out into laughter. Haruka still holding Michiru's hand tight. That was a topic they would discuss later on again. When they had more time for themselves. To make a decision that was their both will.

Minako walked past them, holding a coke in her hands. She wore her green bikini and her sunglasses. She had bound her hairs together to a plaid and a happy smiled laid on her face. It broke slightly as she saw Ami sitting in a tree's shadow. She still wore her long dress that covered her whole body. Only her arms were free. But you couldn't see anything else. Not even the female outlines under it. It was very wide and white.

She looks like on of her patients.

Ami had put her hairs together in her neck, but still some strands escaped and hang into her pale face. The young doctor held a thick book in her hands and read. That was what she already did the whole time: Reading. About some illnesses or so. It was alike to Minako what Ami read, she only saw that the water senshi wasn't in the crystal clear lake. And that this was against her nature.

"You should swim, too." Declared the love senshi and sat down next to her best friend and offered her something from her coke. Ami didn't look up. She only shook her head and turned her page.

"But the sun is shinning, the water is really nice and I am sure that the kids will let us play with her ball, too." Insisted Minako and put her sunglasses away.

"No, thanks." Ami turned another page, trying to ignore the blonde sitting next to her.

That's what she does the whole past weeks!

Ignoring me!

What did I do to her?

Minako's right eyebrow moved dangerously and her face got darker with every second.

"But you love the water."

"I don't wanna swim."

Minako took a deep breath and slipped a little bit nearer to Ami. The young doctor moved the same distance away and turned another page.

"But you're the water senshi."

"I don't wanna swim! Can't you understand me?"

Finally Ami looked up. But only for some seconds. Then she concentrated again on her text.

Oh, no, darling. Not that way!

"I think you forgot one important fact, little one." Minako came to her feet and a diabolic grin laid on her face. "We're on vacation. No more learning." She leaned forward and before Ami could react the book laid several meters away on the dirty ground.

"Hey!" The young doctor wanted to protest but before she could even say another word, Minako had already grabbed her. Suddenly Ami laid in those soft arms and Minako looked really determined as she walked over to the near water.

"No..." whispered the young doctor and screamed out loud as Minako simply let her fall into the water. "NO!" Ami splashed around and gasped hard for breath. Her blue eyes sparkled with anger as she returned to the surface. "You! What did you think!"

Minako didn't turn away from the angry expression and pushed her hands on her hips. Like an angel of revenge she stood there. Ami gulped as she saw that there was no way of getting back to her towel and to her book. To concentrate on other things than her own dark thoughts.

"I invited you to a nice swimming." Minako grabbed Ami's shoulders and helped her to stand again. For a short moment their faces were very near. "And don't you dare to go back to your towel. I am sure that May-chan wants you to see how brave she jumps off the cliff."

There was again that undefinable expression on the pale face Minako couldn't read. Then the water senshi glanced over to the giggling children and nodded.

"You're right, Mina. Let's swim over to them." Her voice sounded defeated but Minako grinned as she followed the water senshi. Although Ami lost a lot of strength after Mayumi's birth, she was still very fast inside her element.

"Of course I am right. I am always right, ne?"

Ami only swam. She didn't respond anything. She didn't know what. They swam past the kids playing with their ball. Marie and Kevin joined them ten minutes ago and their laughter could be heard all over the lake. The two young men, Jacques and Jérome laid a little bit away in a tree's shadow and slept. Enjoying the nice weather and enjoying their vacations.

"Mommy!" May-chan jumped off the cliff and swam as fast as she could over to her mother. Loving she embraced her and laughed as Ami swirled around with her. That were one of the moments that told Minako that May-chan was only nine years old. And that she would never be more than her aunt. Even if May-chan called her sometimes mommy.

I am mostly right, Ami-chan.

Minako sighed and joined them.

But not always.

Because it was alike how much she prayed, how much she hoped, she knew that Ami would leave her one day. She was only her best friend, no one special. And that she would take her daughter with her.

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"Your daddy actually gave you the control over the grill?" Chibiusa giggled and raised her best friend's camera to make a picture. As evidence as she called it.

"Yap." Hotaru waved the big fork around in the air. "She went down to the lake to call the others. Would you please look if I did enough plates on the table?"

The grill stood a little bit aside from the small city of tents. There was one huge tent for all children. Marie's brother and his boyfriend had an own tent. Just like Ami and Minako, Sejya and his wife and the Tenô family. A big table stood in the centre and was already set. Haruka and Hotaru took care of their dinner. Sejya had looked really sceptical but after Michiru declared that her wife didn't know how to handle and oven but made the best steaks she had ever eaten, he was convinced.

"I am sure that you did a great job." Chibiusa stepped behind her girlfriend and embraced her. Tenderly she kissed Hotaru's ears and the taller girl giggled.

"Little darling! How shall I concentrate on the sausages?"

"They are old enough to take care for themselves!" declared the princess and turned her girlfriend around. Shortly they looked into each other's eyes before they kissed. Hotaru felt how Chibiusa stroke tenderly through her damp hairs. She smiled and pulled her little darling a little bit nearer so that their bodies touched. The fork fell unseen on the ground. They had to behave the whole day and it had been sometimes hard. Especially when they saw Haruka and Michiru behaving like a couple being fresh in love. So they played the whole afternoon ball with Marie and Helios and decided to kiss when they were on their own again.

"Hey! Take care of the sausages! I don't want them to get burned."

They both blushed and separated quickly. A grinning Helios took the fork and took care again for their dinner.

"So you're finally together?" he asked and his grin grew wider as he saw how his younger sister looked suddenly like a little child. She didn't respond anything. She only grabbed Hotaru's hand and nodded.

"My congratulations you two." Shortly he looked into pink eyes, saw the request there. "I won't tell mommy and daddy, don't worry. That's your task, not mine." He turned a steak and his stomach started to growl. "Sit down, you two. I am sure that the others will be here soon."

Helios watched them go. Of course he had seen the signs. He had always known that Chibiusa felt more than simple friendship for the tall girl. That was why he tried so hard to make her write that letter before Christmas. That was why he came a little bit earlier back to the tents than the others. To warn them. Because Helios had seen that they both weren't prepared right now to tell it the whole family. The situation was too new for them, they needed their time.

Besides, that were their vacations. They should enjoy them, not asking stupid questions or being concerned. Although Helios believed that Haruka and Michiru would be glad for their daughter.

"Did the girls leave you all alone?" Haruka cleaned her dirty hands on her already dirtied shirt and went over to him. Her hairs were messed and her nose was red from the sun. She looked happy.

"No problem. As long as I get this one." He pointed over to the biggest one.

"Okay. Guess Sejya will survive it." Haruka grinned diabolic and helped Helios to get all the food on a big plate. "Let's eat."

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"... and then he screamed. Maybe it was unfair, but we had to laugh as Yaten fell into the lake." Said Sejya and waved his spoon in the air. It was very late and they ate an ice cream that was already melted. But that didn't matter. It was sweet. For Sejya the best ice cream he had ever eaten. "It was shortly before we went to the official ball and he already wore his best uniform..."

The first candles burned on the table and flies surrounded the light. It was nice calm. The sun set an hour ago and some stars sparkled in a cloudless sky. You could hear the frogs hopping through the water. Some birds sang and the whole atmosphere was very comfortable. Just like in a big family.

Sejya ate another spoon and carried on in his stories about his brothers. How they grew up and what things they had done. Things that had been great. And some other things that had been great, but no one agreed them then.

"The water was cold, darling." Smiled Kakyuu and corrected the blanket that covered her son. Tamahoe slept in his child's seat and held his toy tiger tight.

"I can remember, that you laughed the same we did, honey." Sejya smiled and stood up to make his words more illustrated. "So we were there: Tahiki with all the mug on his clothes, Yaten wet all over and the princess with a burned dress..."

"I can remember that you cut your hairs and looked really odd, too."

"Okay... and me with that strange hair." Admitted the young man and smiled as Haruka giggled. Michiru sat right next to her. Yuki-chan laid on her lap and slept deep and tight. A blanket covered her, too. Normally she should have gone already to bed, but Michiru didn't want to let her go. The small body felt so good in her arms. And as long as Yuki-chan didn't protest, her mommy would hold her tight. Looking loving at her wife. Wondering if they should really try it again. If they should really try to get a third child.

"I wish I could have seen you..." sighed Haruka and kissed her wife who leaned her head against her shoulder.

"Oh, I am sure about that." Sejya shook his head and ate another spoon full of delicious ice cream. "So we stood there in total panic. Knowing that Kakyuu's mother was waiting for us and..."

May-chan sat right next to him and listened to his stories with wide opened eyes. She already forgot her ice cream and time by time Helios took a spoon from it. Marie was occupied with translate her brother and Jérome was Sejya was saying. They both understood a little bit English, but not enough. Time by time he mixed Japanese into his speech, forgetting that the French people were still with them. Then Hotaru helped out. Kevin sat next to his beloved Marie and it was sure that he didn't understand a single word what Sejya was saying. He was too occupied with staring at the blonde French girl.

"So we decided to go back and..."

Hotaru didn't really listen to Sejya's words. She sat there, having her little darling on her lap. Just like always. Chibiusa had often sat on her lap. When they had been children. No one saw something special in their behaviour today, because they behaved as ever. But for the girls it felt different. To embrace her little darling, to feel her near, to hold her hands, that was special. One look in pink eyes told Hotaru that Chibiusa felt the same.

When Sejya's finished I'll ask her to go for a walk around the lake. Just we two...

Hotaru smiled and squeezed her princess tenderly. She knew that they wouldn't come far. Just to the next bending until the others wouldn't see them any longer.

Chibiusa smiled back and concentrated again on Sejya's words. While she entwined her fingers with her girlfriend's.

"Good night." Whispered Ami and raised. No one reacted because her voice had been too quiet. She sat on the other end of the table and the candle before her burned down some minutes ago. No one noticed how she went over to her tent. Only Minako looked up and frowned.

The bottle had been half full...

They opened a bottle of wine for the adults. Michiru drank some gulps. Just like Minako and Kakyuu. Even Chibiusa nipped, but declared that it was too soar and that she preferred her coke.

Now the bottle was empty. Minako took it and gulped. Then she looked over to the tent Ami disappeared into. They had have a funny afternoon in the water. May-chan kept them busy. Even during the dinner the young doctor had been happy. Until the others started to tell funny stories of their childhood or of the past years. Minako felt how Ami's mood changed from happy to depressed within an hour.

Did she really drink all of it?

Shortly the love senshi looked over to May-chan who laughed about the next tragedy that happened to Sejya. Just like the others laughed, too. Haruka declared that she would never see Sejya with the same eyes again. The young man only glanced at her for some seconds before he carried on. Saying threatening that Haruka would be the next to tell them some stories. Michiru nodded and giggled, because she knew a lot of stories.

May-chan's safe with them.

Minako stood quietly up and went over to their tent. It wasn't the biggest and not the best one, but it was dense and was long enough.

"Ami?"

The love senshi crept into it and closed the cover behind her. Her eyes needed some moments to get used to the darkness. A shadow laid in the corner, rolled up to a ball. The sleeping bag was pulled away and the water senshi seemed to lay on the bare ground.

"Little one?" Minako's voice sounded concern and very loud in the silence. A strange silence that was interrupted by quiet sobs.

Is she crying?

"Ami?" The blonde leaned over to the young doctor and now she could hear her best friend crying. Ami didn't want to make any sound. She didn't want that anyone was concerned about her. She didn't want the others to let know that something was wrong with her. Completely wrong.

"Hey, honey." Minako pulled the trembling senshi in her arms, simply ignoring Ami's protest. Soon the young doctor gave up and even tried to creep deeper into the warm embrace. "Hey, what's up? What's wrong?" asked Minako alarmed, because it was seldom that Ami reacted that way. That she wanted to feel the love senshi by her side. The young woman she knew who felt more than just friendship for her.

"I don't want this any longer." Marbled Ami and sniffed. "It hurts so much."

"What hurts so much?" Minako stroke through blue strands and sighed deeply. "Tell me, little one. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"You can't help me." Ami shook her head and more tears ran over her cheeks. "No one can..."

"Of course I can." Minako gulped. She really didn't know how to react. "I am the senshi of love. I'll punish anyone who hurts you in the name of Venus."

There was a shaky laughter from the young doctor.

"I tried that, but it didn't work..."

Nani?

How drunk are you, Ami?

What are you telling me? What are you trying to make me understand?

"Ami?"

"It always hurt. It hurt so much..." Ami sobbed again and grabbed Minako's shirt tighter.

"What did hurt? Using your powers? Going to work? Helping other people?" The blonde stroke some strands of blue hairs out of Ami's face and saw blue eyes sparkling in the twilight of the tent. She could hear Sejya's voice followed by happy laughter. But the others were far away with a sudden. "Tell me, little one. What did hurt?"

Ami raised her head and some more tears escaped her eyes. She pulled her arms around the taller girl and kissed her. It was a desperate kiss. A searching kiss. Searching for comfort and love. Minako squeezed her best friend carefully and gave her all she was searching for.

You must be really dead drunk, Ami.

But Minako didn't have the power any longer to push her away. She did that a lot during the past months. She simply did it too often. The first time the senshi of water had been so drunk had been on the morning of Christmas Eve. Some other nights followed. When Ami returned from work: With an empty beer bottle in her hand. Giggling like a maniac. Staring at Minako with that big, empty eyes. Once she even stripped – right on the balcony. In the middle of February. If the blonde hadn't been fast enough she would have got a terrible flu. The hardest thing was that May-chan shouldn't notice it. Mostly Ami looked very shocked the next morning and promised never to do such a silly thing again. But she didn't change. She didn't stand alcohol. Half a glass of wine was enough to make her drunk and she knew it. When she had been a pupil and later on at university she didn't touch alcohol. Not a single glass champagne. But now...

Minako was very concerned about her best friend, but Ami never said a word. She didn't tell her the reason for her strange behaviour. For her sudden change of life.

I wish I could help you.

I wish I could be there for you. The way I want to be there for you.

Minako had her temper under control. The way she had her feelings under control. The past nine years. And even a little bit longer. But when Ami kissed her, she simply couldn't push her away any longer. She wasn't strong enough to push away the woman she loved with all her heart.

Ami pulled her even nearer to her warm body and deepened the kiss. Minako closed her eyes and simply gave up. The next moment she opened them again and broke the kiss. She had felt how Ami unbuttoned her top and started to caress her breasts under the small bikini she still wore under her clothes. It had been very hot in the afternoon and it dried very quickly so that she didn't change again before the dinner.

"Ami! You're dead drunk!" She held that hand tight and took a deep breath. Trying to get her excited feelings again under her control. "You don't know what you're doing."

"Of course I know that." Suddenly Ami giggled. She stopped to cry and the alcohol seemed to unfold its whole effect. "I am a whore, can't you remember? I have a daughter, but not a father for her. Not a husband... no one..."

Whore?

What are you talking about?

"Hush, you don't even know what you're talking about. It's not bad to be a single mother, little one. And May-chan loves you the way you are. You should have more faith in her – and in you."

Ami didn't seem to hear her. Instead she tried to get her hand free. But Minako held it determinedly tight. So the water senshi leaned forward and tried to kiss her again. The blonde evaded her and looked directly into blurred blue eyes.

"Don't do what you might regret tomorrow." She whispered seriously and gulped.

Don't do what I might regret tomorrow.

"It always hurt when I had sex in my life." Giggled Ami and tried again to kiss the blonde. "I want to know how it is when it doesn't hurt."

Nani?

Minako's eyes grew wide as she heard Ami's crazy giggle. Too late she evaded and felt again soft lips on her own. The kiss tasted salty.

Nani?

"Does May-chan's father hurt you?"

"Michiru and Haruka always behave as if it would make a lot of fun. As if it would be a pleasant feeling." Ami's eyes sparkled and she giggled again. "Did you like it?"

What shall I like? Making love?

Minako gulped and held Ami's hand again tighter.

I never made love with anyone...

But she wouldn't tell Ami. That was her own business. Especially not when Ami was that dead drunk. Minako gulped again. Right now she wouldn't get any answers from the senshi of water. But she was alarmed now. What Ami said so far didn't sound right. Not at all. Minako was suddenly determined to get some answers from her best friend as soon as Ami was sober. To found out the truth about Mayumi's father. And then to help Ami. Really helping her.

"Would you show me how it feels like? I mean without all this pain..."

Did anyone rape you?

Minako felt suddenly very, very sick. Her stomach started to hurt and the tent was suddenly too small. She wanted to escape. To get out. To run. Suddenly she as full of energy. But instead of standing up, she hold her giggling and sobbing Ami a little bit tighter.

Did May-chan's father rape you?

Is that why you never told us about him?

But Minako wasn't strong enough to ask. Because she didn't know if Ami would tell her the truth. Not when she was so drunk.

Maybe she's babbling nonsense? Maybe that's all not true? Maybe that's just what the alcohol does to her?

Minako hoped that this was the reason. That Ami told her lies, simply what came into her mind. As long as it sounded funny in her foggy brain. But the same time the blonde feared that at least twenty percent of Ami's words were true. At least her true feelings.

"No, little one. Not now." Minako looked around and rolled over on her sleeping bag. Carefully she pulled a still giggling Ami with her. Then she grabbed for her blanket and covered the both of them. "And not this way."

"But..." The water senshi giggled again and yawned. As always the alcohol made her tired. The first time she had ever drunk a little bit wine she feel asleep afterwards. Right on Rei's bed in the temple. On a Saturday evening. Rei's grandfather called Ami's mother and so they let her sleep until the next morning. When Ami couldn't remember anything she said after she drank the wine.

It will be the same this time. She will have forgotten everything.

But this time Minako wouldn't play deaf. This time she would tell Ami what exactly she said and ask for the reason.

"Sleep, little one."

"But..." Ami yawned again and giggled. Minako let the warm hand go, but the young doctor didn't do anything else than clenching her fist and leaning it weakly against Minako's shoulder.

"It's okay. Just get a little bit sleep." Minako kissed loving Ami's forehead. "I'll be here. As always."

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"Better we'll go to bed." Michiru held her daughter tight and giggled as a blushed Haruka sat down next to her. She just tried to tell a story of her youth but Sejya always said his comments and soon they argued. To the amusement of the others.

"Guess you're right." Answered the tall blonde and slowly calmed down.

Hotaru pushed Chibiusa carefully from her lap and stretched her body.

"We'll go for a small walk. I ate too much of that delicious ice cream." She said and smiled shyly over to her girlfriend. Chibiusa understood her and smiled back.

"Okay." Michiru rocked her Yuki-chan while Haruka glanced at her watch. Hotaru and Chibiusa were old enough and they were on vacations. Tomorrow there was no school and there was no one around they could disturb. There was nothing more around than just some frogs and some flies. Nothing dangerous for them.

"But don't go swimming. It's too dark." Michiru kissed Yuki-chan's cheeks and thanked Haruka who opened their tent. "And don't go too late to bed. We want to visit the Grand Canyon tomorrow."

"Hai, mommy." Hotaru waved towards the others. "Good night."

"Good night, Himme-chan."

Hotaru took Chibiusa's hand and they went down to the lake. The surface was calm, just here and there hopped some frogs in the water. The moon shone from a cloudless sky and the stars sparkled mysteriously. A light wind played with the trees and the leaves rushed like the waves of the big ocean Hotaru couldn't wait to see again.

"It's so wonderful here." Whispered the tall girl as she walked over the stony ground. Chibiusa followed her.

"You're wonderful, Taru." Was all she said and squeezed the warm hand tenderly. Hotaru stopped and turned around. Her eyes sparkled and a happy smile laid on her face.

"You're wonderful, too." She simply pulled her girlfriend into her arms and kissed her forehead. Her cheeks. Finally her mouth. Chibiusa giggled and her hand slipped under Hotaru's dress. Tenderly she caressed Hotaru's back and the tall girl started to shiver.

"When I had known that you feel like me I would have told you earlier..." whispered the dark haired girl between two kisses.

"Now you know it." Answered Chibiusa simply and held her Taru tighter. "You don't know how much I missed you over the past months."

"But I wrote you all those letters."

"Hai. But to have you here, to feel you, to kiss you, that's nicer." Admitted Chibiusa and giggled. "I want to have a real relationship with you, Taru. Not a written love affair as Marie called it."

"I mentioned that?"

"Hai."

Hotaru grinned and looked around. Then she took Chibiusa's hand again and guided her over to a small place that laid in a tree's shadow. Where no one would see them. Not from far away. The underground was soft and dry. The tall girl sat down and pulled her girlfriend on her lap. Then she kissed her again.

"Yap, that feels better than every letter may sound." Chibiusa's eyes sparkled and she caressed again her girlfriend'' skin. Enjoying the goose flesh she caused. She found the lock of Hotaru's bra and wanted to open it. But Hotaru shook her head and held her back.

"Are you sure? I mean, are you really sure that you want to be my girlfriend and not only my friend, little darling? Still you have the chance to say that it was only a misunderstanding. That you confused our friendship for love."

Chibiusa looked for a long time into dark eyes and knew that she would never be able to let the taller girl go again. She knew that she could hurt Hotaru incredibly when she rejected her now. But she would never. She loved her. She had over four months time after they kissed for the first time to make sure that her feelings didn't betray her. That she really fell in love with her best friend. That it hadn't been only an illusion of her heart who missed Hotaru a lot during the past time.

"How shall I confuse love with anything else? I love you, Taru."

Hotaru smiled. Then she gulped.

"You know that you're the princess of Crystal Tokyo. You'll be queen one day and I don't want.."

"Hush..." Chibiusa kissed her to quieten her. "That's not a problem. At least not for me. Not any longer. Helios is older than I. He'll be the king one day. I don't have so many obligations any longer." Chibiusa kissed Hotaru again. "Besides I would give up the throne, but not you. Never again."

Hotaru's smile grew wider and suddenly tears sparkled in her eyes.

"Little darling..." was all she was able to say.

"I love you, Taru. I am sure. I will never doubt about it." Chibiusa leaned forward and pulled Hotaru slowly to the soft ground. "I'll never regret anything. As long as I am together with you, Taru."

It was the most perfect declaration of love Hotaru ever got in her life. Even better then the stammered confession on Christmas Eve. She didn't know what to respond. What to say. No word seemed to be strong enough to express her deep feelings. Her joy. The happiness that filled her heart.

"Little darling..." she whispered finally and kissed Chibiusa again. Then she let the soft hand go and let her do whatever the princess wanted to do with her.

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"Mommy! We'll be too late!" Wind played with blue hairs as a nine year old girl grabbed her mother's hand and pulled her with her.

"We still have ten minutes." The young woman glanced at her watch and almost stumbled over a stone. She still wore her white coat and a stethoscope hang around her neck. She left the hospital, her place of work, just twenty minutes ago. Normally she would make her dinner break yet. She had night shift today and needed that break to get something to eat. But when she left the operation room she saw her daughter sitting there. Beaming at her with her shinning eyes. Ami simply couldn't say no.

"But I wanna have good seats." Insisted Mayumi and pulled her without mercy.

Ami sighed and tried to follow her. Of course she knew about the concert Haruka and Michiru would give together with Minako and Sejya this evening. It had taken Michiru hours to convince Haruka to play the piano again. The piano player became suddenly ill and there was no suitable substitute for him. Minako herself tried to convince Ami to come but the doctor told her that she had no time.

Until her daughter sat there in the hospital.

And Hotaru.

"But we already have our tickets, May-chan." Gasped the dark haired girl who ran just a few steps behind them. Hotaru had a good condition, a better one than Ami. But it was very hot outside, a bright summer day and her body wasn't as strong any longer as it had been before the dangerous heart attack.

"No one will take our seats away, May-chan." Hotaru laughed and panted. It was almost eight in the evening and still she sweated. She wore a light, bright blue dress that hardly touched her knees. She didn't feel right, but Chibiusa loved it when she saw it in the shop window and later on on her girlfriend's body so they bought it. Right now Hotaru was relieved that she heard of her little darling. That she wore it. Because it was really hot. May passed slowly by. They returned from America two weeks ago and as it got June the temperature rose in Japan. It was almost as hot as in America but still Hotaru wasn't used to it. She had put her hairs up but still some strands tickled her back.

Little darling.

Those two weeks had been great. Hotaru didn't have to go to school and even Chibiusa often could go home earlier, because it was too hot to rest at school. All pupils were happy about such days and Hotaru and Chibiusa often went to the beach. Sometimes with the whole family, sometimes with their best friends, sometimes alone. Hotaru loved those afternoons she spent with her girlfriend all on her own. Swimming, teasing each other around. Kissing. More than once they went to the city and ate a huge ice cream. Or went to cinema in the evening. Sometimes they went shopping and when it wasn't too hot they went for a walk with Makoto's lazy dog.

I love you so much.

With every day that passed Hotaru loved her little darling more. She couldn't have imagined that this could be possible, but with every day that passed she couldn't imagine her life any longer without her clumsy but loving girlfriend by her side.

Still they didn't tell their parents. Chibiusa wasn't prepared yet. She was a little bit frightened of how her parents would react and Hotaru simply didn't find the right time nor the right place. Her parents were very occupied with those concerts they wanted to give for beneficence. And a little bit, she had to admit, she was afraid, too. Not that she loved a girl. Her parents would understand. They were gay, too. But Chibiusa wasn't only a simple girl. She was the princess of Crystal Tokyo. And no matter what Chibiusa said about Helios and being the big prince now, Chibiusa would still inherit a lot of that tradition. She would lead Japan one day, too. Hotaru was afraid that her parents would see all the difficulties they might cause one day. All the problems.

So they both kept their love a secret and simply waited. Not knowing for what. Because it seemed as if the perfect moment would never appear.

One day we will have to tell them.

One day...

"At last!" Mayumi let go of her mother's hand and Ami gasped even harder for breath. Her blue hairs were messed and she shook her head. Still not believing why she came here. But May-chan's pleading and Hotaru's determined eyes told her that she couldn't turn around and leave. Not so easily. Not like that.

"How long will it last?" she asked and glanced again at her watch.

"I talked to Dr. Nasurami and she told me that your night shift won't start before midnight. You'll be back right in time." Smiled Hotaru and ignored how Ami rolled her eyes. The dark haired girl didn't know everything that happened during the past weeks between Minako and the young doctor. But she heard them argue. Almost every evening when Ami came home they had a bad fight. Mostly Minako started to yell and for the first time Hotaru knew the calm doctor Ami screamed back. Mostly they argued when May-chan was still with Rei or in the cinema with Yuki-chan and Hotaru's parents. Or they were on the beach. Ami often looked very frustrated and once, only once, Hotaru had seen Minako cry. It had been only three days ago. When they had been another fight. This time in the morning. May-chan was at school and Yuki-chan went with her parents to a big rehearsal. Minako was about to leave, too, when Ami came home. After a long night shift. Hotaru and Minako sat on the breakfast table and Minako simply exploded. She grabbed Ami's arm and pulled her into the living-room. She didn't want Hotaru to see the scene, but Hotaru heard them argue. Minako asked loudly where the hell Ami had been. The love senshi called the hospital and got to know that she had no night shift. Where the hell had the young doctor spent the whole night? Didn't she think about her daughter who missed her? Didn't she think of her own health? To drink like that!

There had been the sound of crashing glass and Ami shouted back that this had been her beer bottle. Hotaru could remember that she wanted to creep deeper into her chair and that her roll with honey suddenly didn't taste any longer. Minako asked her questions. Hurting questions. Questions that seemed to make Hotaru's heart break. If Ami didn't love her daughter any longer. What the hell was wrong with her? Why did she hide herself? Why did she hide before the pop singer and all her friends? Why the hell was her job more important than her family? And... who May-chan's father was. If he hurt the young doctor. If he raped her. If he was the reason for all this chaos.

Ami's voice had been insensible when she answered that this was all her business. That Minako should think more about her career as singer and less about Mayumi. The little girl was Ami's daughter. Minako should stop behaving as if May-chan would belong to her. She should simply leave her in peace!

With those words the young doctor turned around and left the house. She closed the door with a big bang and didn't return for the next day. Hotaru called the hospital up to get the information that Dr. Mizuno worked and couldn't come to the phone.

Minako was left behind. She didn't go to the rehearsal. She simply went into her room and stayed there the whole day. For a long time Hotaru stood outside near the door and listened to her silent sobs. She didn't know what to do. How to react. But she knew what to do when she heard that Ami didn't want to come to the huge concert that would take part in the big park of Crystal Tokyo. She simply took May-chan and drove with the subway to the hospital.

Hope auntie Minako will be happy that auntie Ami is here.

Hotaru followed them as they walked over to their seats. Simple plastic chairs they put right in front of the stage. But they were fine. Because to stand in that hot, maybe to have a tall man before, that wasn't what Hotaru liked. She wanted to see her parents, not a man's back of the head. Mayumi sat down next to her mommy and laughed the whole time happily.

At least May-can's happy.

"There you are. At last!" Makoto turned around. "They'll start soon."

"I know." Answered Hotaru and giggled as she saw how the queen and Rei argued about sweets the king bought for his wife. Helios only rolled his eyes and they all had to stand up so that he could sit down next to the black haired girl.

"They're all crazy." He declared and the next moment Yuki-chan sat on his lap and offered her big sister her ice cream. Hotaru only shook her head. "My whole family is crazy." He grinned what meant that he was confident with that. Hotaru only grinned back and looked searching around. But there was no pink haired girl. Only Kakyuu who sat with a sleeping Tamahoe on her lap next to Usagi. Helios saw it and chuckled.

"Do you search your princess?" he suggested and Hotaru blushed deeply. Thankful that no one saw it, because they all stared at the stage or at the sweets, in Usagi's and Rei's case.

"You'll see her soon. It's going to be a surprise." Whispered the young prince and held Yuki-chan a little bit tighter who ate her chocolate ice cream with passion. Soon her mouth was brown and her white pants dirtied.

A surprise?

Hotaru raised her eyebrows, but knew that all she could do know, was wait.

She leaned back and closed her eyes. Enjoying the sun shinning right into her face. Hearing all the people talking around her. Hearing Usagi and Rei argue. Hearing Mamoru groan. Hearing Makoto trying to calm them down. Hearing Helios giggling. Hearing May-chan telling her mommy what happened today at school. Hearing all the other people talk. Feeling suddenly very, very happy.

Because somewhere there was her little darling. Her princess who loved her.

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"We've only five more minutes..." whispered Michiru between two kisses and giggled as she saw the sparkle in her wife's green eyes.

"Enough time." Answered Haruka and her hands caressed tenderly her lover's back under the soft velvet. Michiru wore a narrow, dark blue evening dress that was driving her crazy. No, not the dress, but her beautiful wife.

They both stood in Michiru's dressing room. Leaning against the wall. Kissing each other with passion. Giggling between the kisses. Haruka's hairs were already messed and her shirt laid somewhere on the ground. The expensive violin was still safe and secure on the table near the opened window. Inside the building behind the stage it was even hotter.

"But..." Michiru groaned silently as Haruka's hand moved a little bit lower.

"What but?" asked Haruka but the answer wasn't suddenly important any longer as the kiss deepened. She felt Michiru's hands slipping under her sport bra and groaned in return.

At that moment the door was pushed open.

"We have only two more..." Sejya's voice died away and stunned he stood in the door's frame. Then he found his voice back. "What the hell are you doing? Our concert starts every second!"

"What do YOU think?" asked Haruka and slowly, very slowly let her lover go. Then she bowed to pick up her shirt. "Just for once, why can't you knock, baka?"

Sejya blushed even deeper and Haruka could hear her wife giggle as Michiru turned to take her violin. And a hairbrush to help her lover with her messed hairs.

"Just for once, why can't you leave your Michiru alone? At least before such important concert, you sex monster?" Sejya's grin grew wider as he saw how Haruka tried to button her shirt. Michiru finally helped her.

"Oh, you're the right one calling me a sex monster. I can remember too well our last concert when you and Kakyuu simply..."

Michiru finished to help her lover and stepped out of the corridor.

"Let's go and tell them how great our music is." She said and interrupted the two arguing tigers wisely. They both glanced angry at each other once more before they walked up to the stage. But the grins on their faces betrayed their feelings.

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The concert started and the fans yelled as Sejya started to sing to a soft piano and a tender violin music. Soon all people sang along with him. They all knew his songs by heart. Of course. Lightening flashed through the air as the reporters took photos of Sejya, the most popular pop singer of Japan, and Haruka sitting on the piano and Michiru playing the violin. The commentators on the radio agreed that it had been a long time that Tenô Haruka played the last time the piano. That someone so talented should do that more often. That the piano play fitted perfect to Michiru's violin play. That they were the most perfect couple in music history.

She came...

Minako stood behind the curtain and looked through a little whole out to the audience. She saw her friends and May-chan sitting there. And next to the little girl the young doctor.

Ami...

The love senshi didn't know what to say, how to react. Because she didn't expect Ami to be here. Because of their bad fight three days ago. The doctor said more than once the following time that she didn't have enough time to come and that she had night shift. But now she sat there. Talking to her daughter and Hotaru or simply listening to Sejya's low voice. A tiny smile laid on her pale face. A light breeze played with her shoulder long blue hairs and suddenly she looked different. Although she still wore her hospital's coat, she looked suddenly again like the Ami Minako got to know. The little, shy girl who learned so much. Who yearned secretly for good, for real friends. The girl Minako fell so badly in love with. The girl, no, the woman the love senshi loved all those years. The woman Minako would love all her life. No matter what would happen. No matter how much they would argue in the future. No matter what Ami would ever tell her, she loved her. With all her heart. It was too late to look for someone else. Mayumi belonged to her, just like her mother. It was destiny.

I can't change my feelings.

I can't change myself.

Minako blinked and tears filled suddenly her eyes.

As I can't change her mind.

But she could fight. No, she would never give up! She was Aino Minako, Sailor Venus, the senshi of love. She fought against so many youmas to rescue the world. Why shouldn't she fight for Ami? Her Ami? She was worth every fight. Every battle. Every war.

"Just two more songs." Chibiusa appeared behind Minako and gulped. Suddenly she looked very nervous and asked herself if it had been such a big idea. "Is Taru there?"

"Of course." Minako wiped away her tears with a fast motion and looked into big, frightened pink eyes. The princess was very pale and suddenly Minako had a great idea.

"Listen to me..." she took Chibiusa's arm and pulled her a little bit closer. "I think we should talk about that song again."

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Hotaru had her eyes closed. A smile laid on her face as she listened to Sejya's known voice. During the last song he was accompanied by Minako's soft one. They sung a very old song written by an American singer. They asked him for permission and performed it a little bit different. Michiru's violin was still able to hold the country feeling, but Sejya's voice wasn't like a cowboy's voice and Haruka's piano made the song to their own creation. At least the performance, even when the lyrics didn't belong to them.

It was a very, very funny song about someone who wanted to ride on a horse but was too clumsy. The whole audience laughed and Hotaru smiled. She didn't have to open her eyes to see Sejya jumping around the whole stage. Minako played the saloon girl who fell in love with him. In the end she took his horse and rode away, because he fell off.

Rei marbled that Usagi was the same clumsy, just like the cowboy in that song, and soon the two argued again.

It's such a great day.

There were only two more school weeks left for Chibiusa and soon the summer holidays would begin. More time for them to do things together. Maybe even to make a little vacation on their own. They were old enough. Hotaru got seventeen during spring and Chibiusa was almost sixteen. They only had to convince their parents that they would go camping on their own. Okay, maybe they would take Helios with them – as big protector. But Helios knew about their love. Then they would have at last some moments on their own without taking care what they did in public.

It's such a great concert.

Although Chibiusa often forgot in public that there were other people around. Often she took Hotaru's hand and held it tight while they were shopping. She didn't let go whenever they went into a small restaurant to eat a chocolate ice cream or to drink a nice cold coke. Some persons looked strange at them, some other smiled. Some simply thought that it was cute that they were so big friends.

Even at the light house by the sea Chibiusa forgot that sometimes. When they were in the big living room to watch a movie at TV with the whole family she simply crept nearer to her Taru and wanted to be embraced by her. Just in the Crystal Palace she never showed more than friendship – except in her room, where she always cared to lock the door.

Maybe one day we'll be ready to tell them.

Hotaru took a deep breath and giggled as Usagi's and Rei's voices were for some moments even louder than the clapping and yelling of the audience. Makoto quietened them with a determined word.

"SHUTUP!"

The audience silenced again and Haruka started again to play. This was a new song. A song Hotaru had never heard before. Surely she wrote it during the past weeks... or did someone else wrote it? Because normally Haruka sat at home before her piano and composed the way Hotaru could hear it. Through the opened door. Hearing the pieces of a new born song. Being played and played again. Until it fitted.

Minako?

The young singer never sat near the piano. She mostly sang. Hotaru couldn't remember that the love senshi ever created a song by herself. But the past days... hadn't there been a sheet of paper in her hands the whole time? But how...

The audience was suddenly very, very calm. No one talked. No one even whispered. Hotaru frowned and opened her eyes. Her chin dropped as she saw the girl standing on the stage. Sejya stepped beside Haruka near the piano to turn the pages although it was senseless. Haruka had her eyes closed and played with all her soul. Just like her wife who put the violin on her shoulder and accompanied her. Very, very silent. The girl looked very nervous. Her white dress covered her feet, touched the ground. Pink hairs fell over the shoulders, covered the back. A little crown was put on the head. The pink eyes were big and frightened. Searching they looked around until they met Hotaru's. Suddenly a beautiful smile laid on the slightly redden face and Chibiusa nodded towards her girlfriend. Then she raised the micro and started to sing in the soft voice half of the school liked so much. Whenever she sang with the choir. Whenever she had a solo part to take.

Or did little darling write that song?

Minako stood in the shadows, but she hold a micro, too.

Maybe they both wrote it. Together. Somehow.

" Look into my eyes - you will see

What you mean to me

Search your heart - search your soul

And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for

You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for

You know it's true

Everything I do – I do it for you "

Chibiusa's voice was unsure during the first lines, but as she saw how a smile bloomed on her Taru's face it got more and more self-assured. She sang with all her heart. For the person who meant the most in her life. For the person she would die for. For the person she would do anything for.

Taru.

They searched long for each other. But finally, after all those misunderstandings, after all the days they spent in fear, after all the unsafeness they finally found each other.

Chibiusa looked over to Minako and nodded slightly. She stepped a little bit back to let Minako come over to her. They both didn't see the lightening flashing through the air. Slowly the sun set and the light changed into a light orange. Some spot lights were on and only pointed at them. Minako wore a beautiful yellow dress and her hairs were put together in her neck. Shortly they winked at each other before Minako turned towards the audience and continued to sing in her well-known, perfect trained voice.

" Look into your heart, you will find

There's nothin' there to hide

Take me as I am, take my life

I would give it all I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for

I can't help it there's nothin' I want more

Ya know it's true

Everything I do – I do it for you"

Hai, I'd do anything for you, Ami-chan.

Minako looked over to her friends, to her family. Rei and Usagi stopped to fight, but both held the bag with the sweets tight, not willing to let go. May-chan's eyes were big as she stared up to the stage to her Mina-mommy who sang so fantastic. The sun sat around the stage and the atmosphere was simply perfect. It was romantic and touching. Ami didn't realize that some tears were running down her suddenly redden cheeks. She wasn't pale any longer. The sadness disappeared from her face. All that remained was sadness – and longing.

Minako swallowed while Haruka played like a goddess. She wanted that Minako took her the way she was. That she simply forgot whatever might have happened and to love her.

There's nothin' I want more. 

Hai, there was nothing Minako wanted more than to be Ami-chan's girlfriend. Than to be Mayumi's mother. Than to be a part of that little family, too. A real, accepted part.

Minako turned towards Chibiusa and nodded. The girl grinned and together they put the micros again towards their mouths to sing the next lines together

"There's no love"

Chibiusa nodded as she started to sing. She glanced over to Hotaru who blushed deeply and smiled back.

"- like your love"

Minako nodded back to Chibiusa and glanced over to Ami who lowered her head a little bit and stared at her hands.

"And no other "

"- could give more love"

"There's nowhere"

"– unless you're there"

"All the time"

" – all the way"

For some moments nothing more could be heard than Haruka's piano play and Michiru's violin. Even the reporters forgot to take photos and the comments silenced on the radio. After some moments that seemed to be eternity Minako started again to sing. She glanced over to Ami and winked at May-chan who winked back enthusiastically. Her voice was clear but tears burned in her blue eyes while she thought of the hard arguments. Of the fear she always saw in Ami's face whenever the young doctor woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad nightmare. Of all the times when the young doctor came home – dead drunk. Whenever they yelled at each other during the past weeks. Whenever Ami declared her to piss off. To go to her stage and to stay there. To leave her – and May-chan – in peace. To do her own business. To go away.

Something Minako would never be able to do.

"Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for

I can't help it there's nothing I want more

I would fight for you

I'd lie for you, walk the wire for you

I'd die for you..."

Hai, she would do anything for her Ami-chan. She would fight for her, she would lie for her. She would even die for her...

Chibiusa stepped a little bit closer to the well known pop singer. Ready to take the last line. Ready to finish that song that was another declaration of love towards her Taru. Wind played with her dress, with her hairs. The tiny crown sparkled on her head and suddenly she looked like a real princess.

My princess.

Hotaru had suddenly the deep desire to go over to the stage. To embrace her little darling. To kiss her. To show the whole world how much she loved that girl standing there on the stage. Only singing for her. But she knew that it was too early for that. So she kept sitting and listened to the voice she loved so much.

"Ya know it's true

Everything I do

I do it for you"

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The concert was still going. Sejya just sung the song the Three Lights and he once got famous for: the search of a young man for his princess. How he walked through the whole Galaxy to find her. In the end of the song he pointed over to his wife and said quietly that he found her. That he loved her with all his heart. The fans yelled and soon he had to sing another Three Light song they all still knew by heart.

Hotaru couldn't wait. She left her chair and sneaked behind the stage. No one held her back. She was the daughter of the famous Tenô Haruka and Michiru and all the bodyguards knew her. Some even greeted her smiling as she ran past them. With a deep blushed face. She met her princess in the middle of the corridor between the stage and the audience. Without caring any longer Hotaru embraced her little darling and swirled around with her. The pink haired girl burst out into laughter and her eyes sparkled as Hotaru let her finally down.

"I love you so much, little darling." Laughed Hotaru and kissed her shortly. "You've sung so great. It was so touching. I almost needed a handkerchief."

"Only almost?" sulked Chibiusa but grinned as Hotaru brought her closer and kissed her again. This time a little bit longer. A little bit more yearning. "But if that's my reward for standing on this stage, I'll do that again." She giggled as Hotaru pulled her against the next wall and kissed her again and again. "I love you, too, Taru. But please, don't squeeze me to death." Giggled the princess after another song of Sejya ended. The audience applauded but it seemed to be far away.

"I won't let you go now." Whispered Hotaru and simply held her girlfriend tight. "Never again. Never."

Chibiusa giggled again and leaned her head against Hotaru's shoulder. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply her girlfriend's scent. Hotaru used a special shampoo to wash her hairs and Chibiusa loved it. To have her love near her.

"But our family..." she remembered her girlfriend after a while another song of Minako and Sejya ended.

"Hm..." answered Hotaru and kissed her princess again.

"You can do that the whole evening, okay?" said Chibiusa and panic grew inside her as she heard how Sejya declared that he would now sing his very last song.

"The whole evening?" Hotaru's eyes sparkled and she stroke tenderly over Chibiusa's blushed cheeks. Chibiusa couldn't help but grinned back. She knew that the same expression laid on her face, too.

"It's Friday and my parents allowed me to spend this weekend with you." Chibiusa felt how Hotaru kissed her again and forgot about her parents sitting outside on the chairs. About Sejya singing his very last song. About the others who would soon leave the stage to go down to their friends and their families. Who would surely meet them. Leaning against the wall. Kissing and behaving obviously like a couple, not like best friends any longer. Chibiusa raised her hands and dissolved Hotaru's knot. The hairs fell open over the shoulders. The princess stroke through the dark strands and felt how her girlfriend pulled her a little bit closer.

"They have something to do with politics..." she marbled between two kisses but wasn't even aware that she said those words. All she felt right now was her Taru. Her love. She wanted so badly to kiss for the rest of their lives. For eternity. She wanted to hold tight. She wanted to love. Right here.

"Slowly I love politics..." answered Hotaru and giggled. Then she took a deep breath and pulled away from her girlfriend. Chibiusa blinked confused but before she could reply anything Sejya stood suddenly beside them. Just like Haruka and Michiru and Minako.

"That was a great song." Sejya took Chibiusa's hand and bowed before her. A grin laid on his face. "Just tell me when you want to sing again on my stage."

"Your stage?" asked Haruka and soon they both argued again. Michiru only giggled and messed Hotaru's hairs even more.

"You really sang great, Chibiusa-chan. And I am glad that you took care for May-chan." Michiru and her daughter shortly exchanged knowing glances and they both giggled.

"One ice cream and she does whatever I tell her."

Chibiusa tried to correct secretly her dress and stepped finally out of the shadow to follow the others outside the stage building.

"Michiru?"

"Hai?"

"I asked my parents. Can I stay this weekend with you? Mommy and daddy have boring politic things to do." She felt how she blushed again but was relieved that it was darker inside and that Michiru was still dazzled by the spot lights from the stage.

"Of course. We want to grill again tomorrow evening. Helios can come, too."

"But don't watch horror movies the whole evening." Laughed Haruka before she argued again with Sejya about whom this stage belonged. About who had been the star of the concert. About who had played the piano the best.

Chibiusa and Hotaru only nodded and took each other's hand. Then they ran outside to talk to Helios and the other persons of their big, crazy family.

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The girl ran over the stony underground and jumped right into her arms. She didn't care about her expensive dress as she swirled her around. The little girl spread her arms and laughed. Then she simply embraced her and held her tight with all the powers a little girl of her age had.

"That was such a nice song, Mina-mommy. Was it the big surprise you promised me?" Big blue eyes looked up to her and Minako's heart melted once more.

I love you so much, my little May-chan.

"Hai." She said and gave her a loving kiss on her cheeks.

"I liked that surprise, Mina-mommy." The girl laughed and stroke through the strands that escaped her knot. Minako held her a little bit tighter and looked up to go over to Ami. The doctor didn't leave her chair when the young singer left the stage. Seeing Mayumi racing over the whole place. But suddenly the young doctor stood right in front of her. Staring at her with the same eyes Mayumi had. But Ami's eyes were wide because of shock. Tears sparkled in the depth and the face was suddenly very pale.

Neither of them spoke.

Neither of them knew how to react.

Mina-mommy.

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The moon shone down on the calm beach. The waves rolled softly in the sand, wetted their naked feet. Two shadows walked slowly along the beach. Holding hands. Giggling from time to time. Stopping from time to time. To kiss for another eternity.

"Politics are fantastic." Said the taller shadow and they both laughed again.

"Hai." The taller shadow bowed and picked up a little mussel. It sparkled in the moon's light like a little diamond. "Look, Taru." They both looked at it and finally the smaller shadow turned away and throw it into the waves. "So that it's together with it's brothers and sisters."

"You're cute, little darling."

They both giggled and kissed again.

There were no clouds covering the sky. A light breeze played with their clothes. Some birds flew through the air, but they didn't sing yet. It was deep in the night, the sun wouldn't rise the next three hours. Suddenly there was motion at the sky. A bright star appeared and fell down to the earth with an incredible speed.

"A shooting star, little darling." The taller shadow pointed up to the sky and they both stood there and watched it silently. "Now you can wish you something, little darling." She embraced her girlfriend and held her loving tight.

"I don't need a shooting star to know that this dream will come true." The smaller girl took her lover's hands and held them loving tight. "Because it already became true."

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It was past two in the morning. She was tired and exhausted. It had been a long day for her. Especially the concert had been hard for her. After the past days. Always the fear that she wouldn't be there. That her song wouldn't be accepted. That everything would go wrong.

Minako opened the door and walked into the house. She made a face as she smelled the typical hospital scent but carried on. She hardly slept the past days after the big fight with Ami and after she had seen the shocked expression on the young doctor's face she was sure that she wouldn't find sleep this night, too. Not as long as she spoke openly to Ami. That hadn't been possible after the concert, because May-chan had been there. So they brought her home and to bed. But before Minako could talk to her Ami, the young doctor already disappeared again. To her night shift at hospital.

Maybe it's wrong to come her.

Minako went through the corridor and sighed deeply. But she had no other chance. Right now, when the memory was still fresh, she had a chance. Tomorrow Ami would have found her own, and maybe wrong answer to that situation. Maybe the young doctor would be too tired to discuss. Or she would be too drunk again...

"Ami..." she opened the door to the room Ami finally got after a long fight with some other doctors. Where she could have some rest between the operations and different patients. Where she could concentrate and prepare herself to talk to diverse parents of ill children. But the young doctor wasn't there. Instead there was a man. He was tall and wore a white coat, too. He stood next to Ami's desk and looked down at the pages lying all over the wood. He turned around and looked asking at her. His hairs were brown just like his eyes. Maybe he was attractive, Minako didn't know. She had never been really interested in men and had now other problems than to put the one in front of her into a category.

"Mizuno-san's still in the operation room. A little boy with an appendicitis." He said and smiled at her. She was still too stunned and so he shook her hand before she could react. "I am Dr. Taka. And you must be the beautiful woman on that picture." He showed over to the desk and there was really a framed picture. It showed Mayumi who sat between two young women who embraced the little girl. Ami and Minako had have a great day that time and they both laughed and looked really happy.

I didn't know that she has such a picture at work.

Minako felt how her throat tightened, because that picture didn't only show Mayumi, but also she.

Just like a real family...

"Gomen..." Minako bowed towards the doctor. "I am Aino Minako. I didn't want to intrude here like that. I just wanted to talk to Ami... ehm... Dr. Mizuno."

"You must be good friends." Assumed Dr. Taka and smiled friendly at her.

"Hai, we went to school together." Answered Minako proudly.

"Did something happen to that nice girl? Dr. Mizuno hardly tells me something about her private life. But I am new at the hospital, guess it's not typical to be so open to a newcomer like me."

Oh, she never tells a lot.

Minako sighed and shook her head.

"Everything's fine with May-chan. I am just an owl. Mostly I sleep during the day. I was near the hospital and thought I could say hello."

"May-chan? She's your daughter?"

Ami didn't tell the other doctors? That's typical for her. But I won't do that job. No, not that job, too!

"Hai."

Besides, May-chan IS my daughter!

"She's very beautiful. Just like her mother." He smiled and went over to the door and opened it for her. "I only have ten more minutes, but may I invite you to a coffee? Then you can wait for your friend. I am sure that the appendicitis isn't very dangerous and that she'll be finished soon."

Minako smiled but frowned. Something was wrong about this man. Maybe his smile? Maybe the sparkle in his eyes? She didn't know. She didn't care. She was simply tired. Best she would take that coffee and indeed wait for her Ami-chan.

"Arigato." She followed to doctor to the cafeteria that was opened the whole day and the whole night in the hospital.

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"I love you." Whispered Chibiusa and crept deeper into Hotaru's embracement. Her own thin blanket laid on the ground and now they shared Hotaru's. The window was wide opened and the first rays of the new born sun shone down the carpet. Hotaru kissed her girlfriend and ran a tender hand through messed pink hairs.

"I love you, too."

Ten minutes after they finally fell asleep, Miyuki jumped into the room and asked them if they wanted to go swimming with her. She had already woken up her mommy while her daddy still tried to hide under her pillow. To behave as if she wasn't there.

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Sejya looked sceptically at the sausages and the steaks on the grill. Haruka only raised her eyebrows and danced around the grill. They were at the beach near the light house and enjoyed the nice day. The sun was already setting again but they knew that they had at least two more hours before it would be dark. And even then they could use candles. It had been another hot day of June and they all used such a beautiful Saturday to go swimming, to lay lazy at the beach or to read a little bit. After Haruka, Hotaru and Chibiusa slept the whole morning in the sand, Miyuki and Michiru had been able around noon to wake them up with warm sea water as they called it. For the poor victims it had been too cold. But soon they all were in the water and chased each other around. Mayumi, Miyuki and Minako played the whole day ball until the little girls started to build little castles out of sand. Minako was finally able to finish the book – a romantic love book about a strong prince searching for his loving princess – she wanted to read during the past weeks but had never have the time for. Helios came shortly after noon and joined them. He said something about boring politics and that he felt sorry for his mother but soon he laughed and teased around with the others.

Ami came home around four in the afternoon. She only laid down and was fast asleep. Surely she didn't even notice any more how Minako put carefully sun block on her pale skin and cared for a parasol.

"Are you sure that..."

"How does it smell?" Haruka looked provoking at Sejya whose stomach started to growl. He and his family arrived just one hour ago. Little Tamahoe ran now through the low water – always chased by his loving mother. Sejya decided to help Haruka and Michiru to take care for the dinner.

"Well..." The pop singer laughed and shook his head. "Guess it smells good, baka."

Haruka only smiled satisfied and looked over to the house. Hotaru and Chibiusa declared to set the table half an hour ago. They ran into the house to take the dishes, but till now nothing happened.

Surely they forgot it and sit now in Hotaru's room and search for the crocodile.

The crocodile was a big, green airbed with a crocodile's head. They wanted to use it after dinner. To haunt Helios who splashed them a lot during the whole afternoon. Often they screamed but he had always been faster in the water. But the crocodile seemed to increase their chances to get him. And to tickle him until he regretted his bad acts.

"You'll take car for the steaks, okay? I'll call the kids." Haruka cleaned her dirty hands on her short jeans and shortly kissed her wife who opened a huge blanket on the soft sand.

"Shall I help you?"

"Nope. I think we three will manage the dishes." Tenderly she stroke through sea green hairs and smiled at Miyuki who showed with pride at her castle which wasn't ready yet. Concentrated she formed another tower while Mayumi worked with the ditch. It should be filled with sea water after they were finished.

Haruka turned around and walked back to the house. As she had expected was the kitchen empty. But the dishes stood in order on a try on the kitchen's table. Just like some more bottles for orange juice and the bread they wanted to roast over the gill's open fire.

"Himme-chan? Chibiusa-chan?" Haruka put some strands of her hairs behind her ears and decided that it was time for another haircut. She lifted her shirt a little bit while she walked upstairs to her daughter's room. It was still very hot and she sweated a lot. She wore her bikini under the shirt and surely she would strip that shirt after dinner. To see Sejya's shocked face, that was worth it. Even when she felt uncomfortable in a bikini. To see Sejya's shocked and Michiru's longing face. That was even worth wearing a dress, but Haruka always avoided that as most as possible in her life. Mostly she was lucky.

"Himme-chan? Chibiusa-chan?" Still no one could be heard. Not the TV screen and not a laughing Chibiusa who helped Hotaru with the chaos in her room. To find the crocodile on the button of a big wardrobe. A messed wardrobe. The door to Hotaru's room wasn't closed and Haruka wanted to go into it as she saw them. They were both sitting on Hotaru's big bed. Once Haruka wanted to buy a small bed after Hotaru couldn't sleep in her cradle any longer, but Michiru disagreed. She said that they had enough room for a big bed and since that day over fifteen years ago Hotaru had a big bed. Although first it had looked strange. The little, two year old girl in that big bed. She seemed to be lost there. But during the years they were glad to have such a big bed. During the following years when Hotaru had been afraid of the dark and one or even both of her parents slept half of the night in that bed. When Michiru had been on tour alone after she lost her child and Haruka returned from hospital, she often sneaked into her daughter's bed. To feel her near her. She had known that her little princess had been the same concerned and frightened. There had been later on a lot of times when little Miyuki crept under the blanket to sleep with her big sister – whenever she had been afraid of thunderstorms and her parents not at home because of a concert or an important car race. And there had been Chibiusa who spent a lot of weekends here. When they had played with Hotaru's card games. When they had secretly looked horror movies. When they had played hide and seek with Yuki-chan and May-chan. Just what young girls did when they were together. When they were best friends.

But right now they didn't look like best friends any longer. Like simple young girls.

Hotaru sat on her bed, leaned against the wall. She held Chibiusa who sat on her lap, tight. Their shirts laid somewhere on the ground and they only wore there swimsuits. At least Hotaru still wore her dark swim suit. Chibiusa's bikini top laid next to the shirt. Her opened hairs covered her nakedness. Partly.

They both didn't see Haruka standing in the door frame. They were too occupied with each other. Tenderly they kissed each other and seemed to have forgotten the world around them.

Nani?

Haruka blinked and stepped automatically silently a little bit back. So that she disappeared into the shadows again. So that she still could see her daughter and her best friend, well, her girlfriend but that they both couldn't see her any longer.

Since...

Haruka gulped and blinked again. Her mind started to spin around and she remembered the past months. When they had been in America. She tried to think of so many things she had seen during Christmas, but had to admit that she had been very occupied with her Michi-chan and with Yuki-chan who tried to burn the Christmas tree. With her mother and... Hotaru had been so quiet during the dinner. Just like Chibiusa, hadn't she? But when...

Is it so important, when?

Haruka crossed her hands before her shirt and felt how sweat ran down her back. She decided silently to take a bath in the se after she would finish her dinner.

You knew it all the time, right? Even before Himme-chan was reborn. They had always been the best friends. When Hotaru had been dead ill and the body Mistress 9 misused to take over the world. Chibiusa had always protected her Taru while Sailor Saturn gave her life to rescue Sailor Chibi Moon.

Haruka took a deep breath, still seeing them kissing each other.

It was obvious that they felt more than simple friendship then. So, why shouldn't they be together again? Why not? As long as they're happy.

The tall blonde remembered the past months and knew that she often saw her daughter laugh – because of Chibiusa. A dark haired girl who had been once so lonely, so left alone, so unloved. Haruka swore herself when she took baby Hotaru to raise her as her own daughter, that she would never let this happen again to her Himme-chan. When Hotaru was happy with Chibiusa, then Haruka was happy, too.

"Himme-chan! Chibiusa-chan! You promised me to set the table!" she shouted very loud. "Himme-chan! Chibiusa-chan! Where are you?"

Haruka had to grin as she saw how action evolved in her daughter's room.

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Michiru put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and giggled as her wife embraced her from behind. It had been a wonderful evening. They ate and after the sun set they put candles all around in the sand.

"Michi-chan?" Haruka kissed her neck and Michiru shivered automatically.

"Hm?" the sea goddess closed her eyes and enjoyed her lover's gently touch. Sejya and his family left about half an hour ago and they brought the kids to bed. Yuki-chan fell asleep on Haruka's lap and didn't even wake up when they took her to bed. The same was with May-chan on Mina's lap. Even Ami was so tired that she didn't protest when Minako simply took her hand and guided her upstairs. The young doctor had night shift during the past week and was really exhausted.

"I've got to talk to ya." Whispered Haruka and looked into sparkling blue eyes as her lover rose and turned around in her arm. For some moments she forgot her next thoughts and leaned over her wife to kiss her. With all her passion. With all her love.

"What's up, honey?" Michiru's hands slipped under Haruka's shirt and massaged tenderly her belly. Haruka groaned and giggled as her love started to tickle her.

"They're a couple now."

For some moments Michiru's hands rested on Haruka's soft skin. They were colder with a sudden but warmed up again when Haruka took them through the fabric.

"Himme-chan and Chibiusa?" asked the young violinist and gulped. Then she tried to smile. "Guess you've been right all the time, Ruka." She lowered her head and gulped again. Feeling a little bit dizzy with a sudden. Tears sparkled in her eyes but she didn't let them fall. She only stood there in the night's darkness, feeling her lover's hands over her own. Holding her calming down.

Finally she giggled, but it sounded shaky.

"And I thought that you'd be the crazy one when she'll find finally a boy... I mean, a partner." Michiru raised her head and smiled unsure at her wife. "Strange, suddenly I feel like a granny."

Haruka chuckled and kissed her lover tenderly.

"Hey, they're only fifteen and seventeen. Give them a little bit more time." Haruka kissed her again. "And don't worry, you won't lose a daughter, but win one."

They both had to giggle as they heard what Rei had told Haruka's mother during their wedding ceremony some years ago. Haruka's mother had loved Michiru, she had accepted that her daughter was gay. But nevertheless she had cried the whole ceremony. Makoto handled her one handkerchief after another until Rei said that sentence to her. A so true sentence. It was the same feeling Michiru felt right now. To recognize that her little princess grew up. That she was now a woman herself. That she would go away one day. That they would lose her. Otherwise, they would never lose her. Not as long as the bound between the members of the Tenô family was so strong. And Chibiusa, she had always been around. She had always been part of that family, too. Nothing would change. Not really.

"And you aren't an old granny yet, Michi-chan." Chuckled Haruka and embraced her again. "You're a the most attractive woman I know, Michi." Haruka kissed her again and Michiru smiled thankful back. They both were still very young. They had been hardly older than Hotaru was right now when they decided to adopt the little senshi of death.

"As long as she's happy..." Michiru smiled suddenly, remembering the time when she fell in love with her Ruka. A love that lasted over all those years. A love that grew stronger. A love that would remain until the ends of their days. And maybe even longer.

"She is. I am very sure." Haruka pulled her lover a little bit nearer. "Just give them time. I want them to come to us to tell that they're a couple."

Michiru nodded against Haruka's shoulder and giggled suddenly.

"Course. Although it'll be very hard not to tease them around." She giggled and heard Haruka's low laughter.

"And I thought that I am the evil one."

They both kissed again.

"No word to the king and the queen as long as they aren't ready."

They both looked into each other's eyes and nodded. A little bit concerned.

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She stood in the half darkness of her room. Determinedly she stared down at the paperwork before her on her desk. There were voices outside on the corridor, but she didn't hear them any longer. They weren't real. They weren't important.

I'd fight for you... 

Her trembling hands held the henshin tight. A henshin she had put away a long time ago. But today she had to use it again. She knew it. She would fight. For herself and for her family.

I would die for you. 

And even if she wasn't able to win, it would be over. At last. The whole pain, the humiliation would be over. Finally. She wasn't able any longer to live with that fear. Every day. Every night. Every second in her life.

As the door was silently opened she rose her henshin.

Prepared to fight.

Even prepared to die.

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They walked through the inner city of Crystal Tokyo. The little girl held a chocolate ice cream in her hands while her mommy followed her. The sun was again shinning from an endless sky, but a light breeze made it bearable.

"It's a pity that Chibiusa couldn't come with us." Said Minako and corrected her big sun hat. Mayumi laughed loud and ran a little bit forward. To turn around and wink them through all the other people. Minako smiled and winked back. Just like Hotaru.

"Nope. Some politics she and Helios aren't allowed to miss." Answered Hotaru and looked a little bit depressed. The last weekend had been so fantastic and they planned to go shopping together. Until Chibiusa called her up this morning to apologise herself and Helios. Now only Minako, Mayumi and she were left. Hotaru's parents and her little sister were at school to prepare everything so that Yuki-chan would be able to go to school when the summer vacations would be over. So they couldn't come, too.

The little, blue haired girl needed new shoes and Hotaru wanted to surprise her little darling with a new dress. And maybe, when Minako would be too occupied with the little whirlwind called Mayumi, new, special underwear.

Hotaru blushed by that thought.

"Politics! I still can't imagine Usagi as shinning princess." Minako giggled and finished her own ice cream. "She's lucky that Mamoru is so intelligent. Otherwise it would be a big chaos." Minako giggled again and winked again at her daughter. "Guess it's already a big chaos." They stopped in front of a big shop window that showed cute summer dresses.

"Didn't you look for such ones?" asked the love senshi and bowed to clean May-chan's brown mouth.

"Hai..." Hotaru's voice died away as a cold wind played with her opened hairs. Suddenly she was very cold. The sunshine seemed to disappear and all that remained was a freezing cold. She shivered and gooseflesh covered her arms and her legs. Her face was suddenly very pale and her eyes filled with tears as she saw the shadow rising behind her in the window's reflection. Again she heard the evil laughter. A laughter she hadn't heard during the past six months. Not since Kevin fell off his horse and almost broke his backbone. A laughter she hoped she would never have to hear again.

The shadow, her shadow, glanced at her with that faceless face and all she could see was the big mouth. Then, suddenly, there was someone else. Standing next to the shadow. Crying in silence. Being embraced by the shadow. Closing the eyes. Giving up.

No...

NO!

Tears streamed now over Hotaru's cheeks but she couldn't move. She only saw the shadow, saw the person. Felt the deep pain in her heart. Felt the old panic growing in her body. Felt the despair awakening again in her soul.

"Don't you want to go in and..." Minako put the handkerchief away and turned towards Hotaru. Minako's voice got calmer and died finally away as she saw the fear, the death fear, in the girl's eyes. Automatically she took those trembling shoulders and shook Hotaru. "What's up, Hotaru-chan? What's wrong with you?" The girl slowly raised her head and Minako gulped as she saw all the tears that wet the pale face.

"Ami..." whispered the future senshi of death finally and sobbed quietly. "Aunt Ami..."

Minako gulped and held Hotaru who seemed to faint the next moment tighter.

"What do you mean? Is anything wrong with Ami? What's up, Hotaru-chan? Did anything happen to my Ami-chan?"

As Hotaru nodded, Ami put Hotaru's and Mayumi's right hand and told them to run. Toward the hospital. As fast as they could. May-chan was happy. She loved races through the inner city. For her it was an adventure. For Hotaru it was simply relieving that Minako believed her. Somehow.

For Minako it were the worst minutes of her life.

She knew who Hotaru was, the future senshi of death, Sailor Saturn. One day she would wake up again. And she was no normal girl. Minako thought at Sejya and that it was only Hotaru who told Haruka to look after him – right in the moment he wanted to commit suicide.

Suicide?

Are you really so stupid, Ami-chan?

They reached the hospital in record time.

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There was fog coming out through the closed door. The door that leaded towards Ami's private room in the hospital. Minako gave Hotaru a sign to take Mayumi's hand and to hold her back. If Ami really did something stupid, her daughter shouldn't see it. Hotaru only nodded, still very pale in her face. She embraced Mayumi who didn't understand anything and brought her nearer to her trembling body. Looking over to Minako and gulping. Still crying in silence. Still seeing the shadow. Still knowing that nothing changed. That she was still a pervert who could see people dying...

"Ami?" Minako knocked at the door, but nothing happened. No one opened. No one said anything. All she could hear was the fog coming through the door. Fog she knew. It wasn't normal fog. It was one of Sailor Mercury's weapons. Not very dangerous, but it helped them a lot during the battles against diverse enemies. Mercury had always been the weakest of all senshi. Her power was her intelligence. She often helped them with her computer, but to defend herself, really to defend herself, that wasn't possible. She had been their head, they had to take care for her in return.

"Ami? May I come in?"

At that moment glass smashed inside and someone screamed steamed. That was enough for Minako to grab for the door knob. Of course the door was closed. So Minako simply raised her leg and kicked at the door. With all her desperate powers. She was still strong enough. She fought hard as Sailor Venus, years before even alone as Sailor V. The lock broke and the door pushed open, crashed against the wall. Fog covered the whole room. Fog and soap bubbles. The only weapons Sailor Mercury ever owned.

"Stop moving, you silly brat! Stop behaving like that!" The voice was low and threatening. And out of breath. There came more and more bubbles, but all they could do was to make the ground slippery. Nothing more. "Don't be so stupid, you like it, too, don't you? You have always like that!"

More bubbles, again a scream. It sounded now a little bit weaker.

Nani?

Without thinking Minako raised her own henshin, she never put away. They defeated Galactica years ago and since then they didn't see a single youma again, but Minako never put the henshin away. Strangely she felt safer with it. Two seconds later Sailor Venus stood there in the fog and swirled around her heart chain. Just two more seconds and the fog disappeared.

"Ah, that's better, silly brat!"

Minako turned around to the voice to ask if her Ami-chan was right and almost fainted. For some seconds she stood there. Not able to move. Not able to think. Not able to scream.

Ami sat there on top of her table. No, not Ami, but Sailor Mercury. She had stretched her fits and surely tried to make more bubbles and more fog. But she wasn't able to do that any longer. She wasn't strong enough any longer. Her cheeks were pale, almost blue. Tears were streaming down her face. She didn't make a noise. No sob, nor scream. Nothing. She couldn't. Someone had put an handkerchief in her mouth to quieten her screams. Two hands laid around her neck and slowly strangulated her.

Two hands that belonged to a man who stood in front of Ami. Between her legs.

"Why did you have to defend yourself? It's better this way, don't you think?" Ami didn't react. Her fists went down and she closed her eyes. She didn't get enough breath any longer and she knew that she would die. He wouldn't be finished right in time.

Maybe it's better this way...

"VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!"

The next moment the man was pulled against the next wall where he groaned deeply. His back hurt and for some seconds he only saw stars. Ami who was suddenly free, leaned forward to gasp for breath. But the handkerchief was still in her way. She wanted to raise her hands but before she could react, someone had put it away. Deep she gasped for breath and started to cough. More tears ran down her cheeks while she gasped hard for breath. Through them she could see Sailor Venus. Her eyes looked deadly. Deadly hurt. Deadly shocked. Ready to kill.

Shortly she rubbed over Ami's back until she was sure that her best friend was still alive. That she wouldn't choke during the next minutes. Tears sparkled in Minako's eyes as well. She had seen that Sailor Mercury's costume was torn apart. She had seen the blood that ran down her legs. She had seen the bruises on the pale skin. She had seen the pain on blue eyes she loved so much.

Another attack hit the man who finally raised his head. Minako shook her head as she recognized Dr. Taka. The nice doctor who gave her a coffee. Just one week ago. Really, just one week?

"You asshole!" she stepped over to him and grabbed his collar. He was taller, but she was more angry. Stronger. She pulled him against the wall, but he wasn't very surprised. Instead he grinned at her.

"Oh... another beautiful woman? That must be my good day." He laughed and grabbed her hands. He wanted to kiss her, too, but she was fast enough and kicked him right between his legs.

"Who do you think you are, you pervert?" she screamed at him and another love chain hit him. He groaned deeply and looked up to her. His trousers weren't even closed as she noticed with disgust.

"I am real man, honey. I can give you so much you've ever dreamed of." The man looked over to Ami who whimpered in silence. "Right, honey? I gave you all you ever dreamed of, you lesbian!" he laughed deeply and another love chain hit him. "She always liked it, ask her!" Another love chain and he fell down. Unconscious.

"Liar!" More and more tears streamed over Minako's cheeks and she kicked him again and again. Until a soft voice held her back.

"Stop it, Mina."

Sailor Venus turned around and looked angry at Mercury who tried to cover her nakedness with the rest of her torn uniform. Tears ran down her cheeks and she looked as if she would faint every moment.

"I SHALL stop it? I SHALL STOP IT!" she screamed at the young doctor and shook her head. "I shall stop killing him? He deserves it! He... he..." Minako shook her head and stared helpless to her best friend. She couldn't say that word. The r... word. She simply couldn't.

"He almost killed you! When I wouldn't have come into the room right in time he would have strangulated you! And you say I shall stop killing him!" Minako's yells could be heard through the whole corridor. Hotaru who knew that her both aunts were still alive, took Mayumi and walked away. To the nurses. To call a doctor. And to call the police.

"He's May-chan's father." Whispered Ami finally but didn't have the strength any longer to look down at the bleeding man before Venus' boots. Nor did she have the power any longer to look into raging blue eyes.

"NANI!" Minako felt how something broke inside her. Something that should have never grown there. She wasn't sure what it was, but it hurt terrible. "Don't you tell me that you LIKED that, Mizuno! Don't you tell me that you WANTED him to... and..."

Ami shook her head and took the framed picture in her hands and stared for a long time at the family in there. A family that seemed to be a stranger for her now. Not her own family any longer.

Mina-mommy...

"He returned from his studies in Kyoto in spring. First I thought..." she gulped and more tears ran down her cheeks. She felt her sore body, felt the pain. The physical and the psychical pain. Not sure if she would ever get rid of that pain again. In her whole life. She tried it during the past ten years, but it didn't work. It wouldn't work this time either.

"I said that I didn't want this again. That... that I didn't love him. He... he only laughed but... I could refuse him and..." she sighed deeply. "He found out where I lived. That you lived there, too. Together with May-chan. He thought that she's your daughter and that... well... that we're a couple. But..."

Minako gulped but couldn't move. Couldn't go over to her Ami-chan who suffered so obviously. She trembled like hell and seemed to faint the next moment. Still she hadn't really realized what happened to her just ten minutes ago, but when she would, it would be her end. Minako knew it. And she feared that moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered and her voice rose again. "Hell, I met him! He invited me for coffee and was nice! Why didn't you tell me and I'd have kicked into his ass in time... before..." her voice broke again and she sobbed helpless. Still holding her love chain tight in her trembling hands.

"He said that he would kill May-chan and you if I would refuse him again." Ami gulped and put the picture again. She wrapped her arms around her freezing body and Minako could see that they were covered with bruises and wounds, too.

"But..."

"I tried to defend myself." Finally Mercury looked up, directly into tear filled blue eyes. "But I am not strong enough. I've never been, Mina-chan."

Sailor Venus gulped and shook her head again in disbelieve.

"And May-chan?" she asked and anger rose again inside her soul.

"He was my teacher at hospital and I did my first bigger operation. He wanted..." Ami closed her eyes and asked herself if she would ever be warm again. "... he wanted to me to celebrate it with him. So we went to a restaurant and... he... he must have put something into my drink while I was in the bathroom..." Ami made a face and the memory seemed to be cruel, too. Maybe even crueller than reality right now. Because then she had been alone. Now Minako was around. This time she wouldn't die alone. "I don't know what... what it was but... but I was dead drunk and couldn't control myself any longer. Nor fight against him..." she gulped and felt suddenly very, very sick. "Afterwards he told me that I should keep silent when I wanted to get my good mark and pass my studies." She raised her trembling hands and buried her face in them. Now her voice sounded muffled. "He went away to study in Kyoto before anyone could see that I was pregnant. He... he doesn't know about her. And... and..."

"And you never told me about that?" Minako felt how her throat got tighter and suddenly it was very hard for her to breathe. "You never told me what for nightmares were haunting you down? Why you were dead drunk and behaved so strange during the past months? Didn't you trust me? Shit! I wanna help you!" More tears ran down Minako's face as she turned around to hit the unconscious man again and again. To kill him. For what he had done to her beloved Ami-chan.

"Mina... please... it's not important. He's not..."

"NOT IMPORTANT!" Minako screamed at Ami who trembled even more. "I guess I fell in love with you the day I met you. Shit! I wanna love you! The rest of my life. Do you hear me, Ami? You're the most important person in my life! You ARE my life! And this... this asshole hurt you deeply! He... he owned all I wanted to have. He was allowed to touch you! To take you. To..." Minako's voice broke and she sobbed desperately. "He's May-chan's father. Shit! Do you know, how much I'd like to be her mother? Her daddy, just like Haruka's Yuki-chan's daddy? And that asshole simply, simply took that and... and hurt you so deeply and... THAT SHOULDN'T BE IMPORTANT!"

Ami coughed and blinked. But she couldn't stop her tears from falling.

"Maybe he's May-chan's producer..." still she wasn't able to look down at him. He caused too much pain. Even unconscious. He caused too many bad memories. He caused too much sickness. A fear she simply couldn't bear any longer. "... but you've been the one who raised her, Mina..."

Ami slowly left the table to come over to the love senshi. To get out of that room that seemed to get smaller and smaller with every second. To get to the fresh air. To get out of that sticky, bloody building. To forget all that shit that happened ten years ago. That happened just ten minutes ago...

Pain flashed through her whole body and she gasped hard for breath. Slowly realising that it happened again. That it really happened again. That her damn past had been her future. Warm fluid ran down her legs, but she knew that it wasn't her blood. Helplessly she raised her head and stared at Minako who looked still very, very angry. Still ready to kill. The love chain still shone brightly in her hands.

"I never..." Ami clenched her fists but she knew that everything was too late now. Damn too late. Her whole body simply refused and she went on her knees as her legs simply gave up. Sobs escaped her throat and she felt alone. Alone and hurt. Now she would die. Surely she would die.

Suddenly Minako was able to leave the trance that seemed to have captured her whole body. She pushed the chain on the still unconscious man and went on her knees next to her Ami-chan. She took the trembling senshi of water in her arms and rocked her. Ami cried as if the world was going to end. But maybe, that was true. Maybe the world was really going to end.

"I never wanted that..." she cried and crept deeper into Minako's embracement. Where she found all she needed right now: Comfort, understanding and love. Unconditional love.

"I know, honey." Whispered Minako between her own sobs. "I know, honey." Then she held her Ami tight as if she was afraid of loosing her. Afraid that Ami would really die. Right here. When she would let her go again.

Just two minutes later the doctor and the police arrived.

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"Shit!" Haruka took a deep breath and stared angry at the phone in her hand. Michiru sat opposite her on the kitchen's table and looked asking at her. Asking and concerned. A chicken was in the oven, but no one was hungry. Not after Minako brought Ami home and right into bed. The love senshi didn't have to tell a lot, Haruka and Michiru had seen the injuries and were intelligent to know what happened. Hotaru was with Mayumi and Miyuki at Rei's temple to help her for the national holiday. To decorate the temple and to sleep there. Rei didn't ask further as she had seen Haruka's concerned face when she drove the kids to the priestess. She only promised her to tell her later and disappeared again.

To talk with her lawyer. For the next two hours. And then again with Rei over the telephone. A priestess who started to cry. Strong and always hard Rei started to cry. Shortly Haruka and Michiru exchanged glances and knew that they wouldn't tell the others. Especially not the queen who couldn't change it. Who would die of sorrow because she couldn't change the past.

"What did lawyer say?" asked Michiru finally and clenched her hands on the table's wood.

"That this asshole says that Ami wanted it. That Minako simply attacked him. That, when Ami will indict him, he'll indict Minako. Statement against statement. We can try it, but it'll be hurtful for Ami." Haruka closed her eyes and felt so damn helpless. She wanted to transform into Sailor Uranus. To fight. But she knew that it wouldn't change anything. "My lawyer's not sure if we'll win and..." she sighed deeply and felt how Michiru took her hands into her own icy ones.

"Minako doubts that Ami will indict him. She's not strong enough to see him again at court." Said the sea goddess and sighed, too.

Haruka only groaned frustrated.

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"Do you want anything? Something to eat? Something to drink?" Minako stood unsure in the door frame and looked at the shadow down in the huge bed. Ami took a long, a very long shower and finally sat down on her bed. But she wouldn't find any sleep this night. They both knew it.

"To eat?" Ami's voice was very silent and she shook her head. After the police arrived and started to ask her stupid questions, she threw up her last meal. She simply choked and couldn't stop even after her stomach was empty. Minako held her the whole time and tried to comfort her. But now... she wasn't hungry. She wasn't thirsty, either. She wasn't even sure being still alive.

"No, arigato."

For a moment there was silence between them.

"Shall I get a nice CD for you? I can ask Michiru. Or..." Minako opened the door to go as she head Ami's still very quiet voice. It was filled with panic.

"Please, stay, Mina!" There were again tears in deep blue eyes and Ami looked pleading up to her. Minako gulped. It was the first time that Ami wanted her to stay. Mostly the love senshi had to force her to see that it was better that her best friend stayed to comfort her. When a little patient died. When something really, really important went wrong in her life. But now...

She only wants comfort, remember that!

Minako sat down on the soft mattress and the next moment her arms were full with a trembling Ami. The young doctor held her tight. With all her desperate powers.

Whatever she wants, she'll get it.

For a long time they sat like that. It was the first time Minako could remember that her Ami embraced her, not the other way round. Finally the love senshi moved and pulled her doctor closer. Ami winced but didn't say a word. She didn't react, didn't scream. Didn't pull herself away.

"I'll never hurt you, Ami-chan." Whispered Minako calming and rubbed carefully the younger woman's back. "It's over, Ami-chan. It's finally over."

There was silence for another long while. Only disturbed by Ami's quiet sobs.

"Don't leave me." Whispered the young doctor and tried to creep deeper into that warm embrace.

"I'll always be there for you, Ami-chan." Answered Minako simply and held her tight. Rocked her. Comforted her the whole night. Until she finally fell asleep.

She was there.

The whole night. When nightmares were haunting Ami down.

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The sun shone from a cloudless sky. Five shadows drove on their bikes along the beach. One shadow was on top and laughed happily. Pink hairs moved in the wind and pink eyes sparkled happily.

"You are lazy chickens!" Chibiusa jumped off the bike and danced around in the soft sand. "I won! I won! And you owe me now an ice cream."

Hotaru grinned over to Helios and he grinned back. Of course they both could have been faster, but to see the princess being so happy, that was worth every lost. Mayumi and Miyuki reached them some minutes later. They were too young to compete with them. So Hotaru promised them at the beginning of their tour to buy them an ice cream. Both kids had looked at her with the same sparkle in their eyes she knew too well from her little darling.

"You're greedy." She laughed and went over to her princess and embraced her. Shortly they kissed. Then they decided to drive back to the light house and to order a huge ice cream.

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"Taru?"

Chibiusa walked slowly towards the shadow who stood with her foot in the water. Clear water. The others sat in the living room, eating ice cream. Watching a very famous anime on TV. Laughing and giggling. And eating some more ice cream.

"Taru?"

I've seen the shadow again. It almost took away my auntie Ami. It's there again. I am not normal. No, I've never been normal. This bloody shadow!

Hotaru stared in the water and sighed deeply. Not realising that her princess came nearer. Wind played with her opened hairs and she closed her eyes. To outcast the cruel world. To out cast the water's reflection. To outcast the tears burning behind her lashes.

It all happened again. And I hoped so much that it would be over. That it was only an illusion of my frightened brain. Too afraid to admit that I am gay. That I love my little darling. That she would reject me...

But it hadn't been only an illusion. It had been damn real just some days ago.

What the hell does it mean? Will I harm other people with my skill to see people dying? Will I harm my little darling with that dark ability?

"Taru..."

Right in that moment Hotaru heard the high, asking voice behind her. She turned around and saw Chibiusa standing there. Her hairs were bound in a plaid in her neck and her hairs stroke over her arms. Wind played with her white shirt and her cut jeans.

She's so beautiful.

My girlfriend.

I will never let her go.

Hotaru gulped and took a deep breath.

This shadow should never harm you, my little darling.

NEVER!

"Just embrace me, little darling." Whispered Hotaru and gulped again. She saw the confusion in her girlfriend's face, but the next moment Chibiusa was by her side and embraced her tenderly. Caressed the skin between her short dark skirt and the top of her bikini. Stroke carefully through her dark strands. "Just hold me tight."

Chibiusa only nodded and held her tight.

"I love you, Taru."

"I love you, too, little darling."

That's why I'll always protect you. Especially against this shadow!

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It was in the middle of the night when she woke up. She didn't have to open her eyes to know that she was alone. Her girlfriend was in the Crystal Palace. Some other politics to do where she wasn't allowed to miss. And she had to finish her last week of school. To get her report. So she wasn't right by her side. But soon, hopefully soon, she would sleep every night by her side. At least over the holidays. On their personal vacations they tried so hard during the past weeks to convince Chibiusa's parents. They were very concerned and thought that their daughter was too young to go alone on vacation.

Haruka and Michiru agreed, but they insisted that they wouldn't go camping but take a proper hotel. So that no one would kidnap them. They would even pay it.

So it's only little darling's parents we have to convince.

Hotaru gulped. She didn't have to open her eyes to know that she wasn't all alone in the room. The cold that suddenly seemed to cover all her body, the freezing air around her, she knew the signs. She didn't have to look up to see her shadow standing there.

Who is it this time?

She felt tears in her eyes and finally opened them. Really seeing the shadow standing there. Right beside her. Right beside her bed. Looking at her with that faceless face. Hidden in the shadows of the black coat. Holding a strange instrument, a large one in its left hand. Stretching the right one towards her. As if it wanted to touch her. To take it with her. To... to call her?

There was no one around. No other person. No one she knew. No one she loved. Obviously seemed to be no one in danger. But why the hell was the shadow here?

Come to me! 

It was the first time that she heard that voice. So deep, so cold. So insensible. She knew in the instant that the shadow had spoken to her. For the first time in her life.

Come to me! 

"Keep dreaming!" she whispered and grabbed her pillow. To throw it after the shadow. The other pillow, Chibiusa's most favourite one she brought with her some weeks ago, followed.

You'll never get me!

No one will ever get me!

I wanna live my own life – without such a bloody shadow!

She stumbled out of the bed and left her room in a hurry. Closing the door behind herself. She ran along the corridor, shortly looking behind. But no shadow followed her. Or was it right before her? She stopped near a ladder that leaded up to the attic and gasped for breath. There was silence around her. Typical night silence. Her shadow wasn't here. She couldn't hear that deep, cold voice any longer. All she heard were her aunt's voices. The quiet, husky one of Ami who obviously had another nightmare and the calming, loving one of Minako. They were almost inaudible. They didn't let Mayumi notice it, but Ami took vacation from the hospital and Minako was the whole day at school. She cancelled the next concerts and Michiru understood. So the next performances only took place with Sejya and Haruka and the young violinist. They told the manager that Minako had a bad flue and that she had no voice in the moment.

I wish I could help them.

But Hotaru knew that she couldn't. She helped to rescue Ami's life. Everything more wasn't in her power any longer. That laid now in Minako's power.

The dark haired girl turned around as she saw a motion in the corner of her eyes and without thinking she climbed the ladder and stood the next moment on the attic. She closed the door behind her and hoped that her shadow wouldn't be able to follow her. Hotaru took a deep breath and searched around for the counter to switch on the light. She stumbled and something fell on the ground. Finally she found the counter and soon the attic was brightly illuminated. The dark haired girl blinked for some moments until her eyes got used to the light, then she turned around and saw what she had stumbled over. It was an old cardboard. Several old clothes fell out. An old baby pyjama Hotaru was suddenly sure that it had been hers when she had been younger. Much younger. Some old pictures laid next to it. The girl bowed and picked them up. They showed herself as baby. A cute, little baby. In that baby pyjama. But somehow it looked strange, because Hotaru couldn't remember to see that pyjama on one of the pictures her parents had in her thick books in the living room. Of course they had taken a lot of pictures during her childhood and showed them around with pride whenever they had guests. Real guests, not all the crazy aunts and uncles who came regularly.

Nani?

There was another picture. A picture of an older Hotaru. Surely it was herself. At the age of maybe four years or so. She laughed happily in the camera. But the persons next to her weren't her parents. No Haruka and Michiru. But other people. A young woman with long, dark hairs. She looked a little bit like Hotaru imagined herself to look one day. When she was twenty five. She loved loving at little Hotaru of four years. By her side was a man who was maybe a little bit older. Hotaru knew that man, but only from some pictures her parents showed her after she found out that she was adopted. It was her father, her real father who died when she had been a baby because of a car accident.

Nani?

But that picture wasn't logic. Whoever that woman on her real father's side was, Hotaru was too old on that picture. Her real father had been long dead when she had been four years old. She couldn't remember him, couldn't remember ever seeing him. All pictures that existed of him were together with her as a tiny baby, not as a small kid.

Nani?

Hotaru turned the photo around and stared for another long time at the neat writing she had never seen before. It looked like a woman's writing. It said: _My husband, my daughter and me. My family. _There was a date written in the corner of the picture. It was eight years before Hotaru's day of birth.

Nani?

Hotaru didn't understand what was happening. She didn't know that woman. She didn't understand anything at all. The girl gulped and put all the things carefully into the box again. And somehow she didn't want to know much more about that strange photo.

Again she believed to see a motion in the corner. She turned around, but her shadow wasn't there. Not the shadow who always tried to take away her family, her friends, the persons she loved. Instead of that shadow she believed to see another one. A shadow deep in her heart. That covered her soul like a thick blanket. To suffocate her. To take her into a deep whole.

It was like a shadow from another time. From a time she couldn't remember. Because it had been before her birth.

Had it been?

Hotaru took a deep breath, closed the cardboard carefully, switch off the light and went again downstairs. Closing the door carefully behind herself. She knew she wouldn't return soon. She knew she wouldn't ask her parents. She didn't want to know the truth about that strange picture.

Because she feared somehow that the truth could hurt her deeply.

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	7. Chapter 6: Hide in your dreams

Chapter six: Hide in your dreams 

The nice fresh water ran down her body. She had closed her eyes and enjoyed the wonderful feeling. It had been a long, another warm day of summer and she felt how her muscles slowly relaxed. Her girlfriend had her last day at school and after she confessed her report to her parents they made a long tour with their bikes. Only their. Along the beach.

I love it to be out there. To be free. Just like the elements.

She smiled.

To be there with my little darling.

Soft music filled the bathroom. Since her parents were so crazy about music, there were CD players all over in the light house by the sea. The door was opened but she didn't even hear it. Her mind was far away. Together with the music. In a world only she knew. A world she hardly had shared before. Only with her girlfriend.

Someone stepped into the cabin and shortly cold air surrounded her. But before she could open her eyes and to protest she felt those soft arms around her waist. A smile bloomed on her face and still being in her own world made of music and water she pulled her giggling girlfriend nearer and kissed her. Took her into that secret world far away from reality.

I love you, little darling.

Hotaru blushed slightly and opened finally her eyes. Chibiusa giggled again and stepped a little bit away. Her pink hairs were now wet, too and pasted to her naked body.

"Don't tell me you thought you could escape." Laughed the princess and reached for the shampoo. Soon Hotaru's hairs were full with soap while Chibiusa's hands caressed her.

"I just didn't want to stink." Answered the dark haired girl and enjoyed that gentle touch. Sometimes it was still a little miracle for her that Chibiusa really loved her. That it all wasn't just a dream she would awake the next minute. That it all was real.

"Oh... and I am allowed to stink?" sulked the princess and tried to tickle her. But as always Hotaru was faster. Before Chibiusa could react, the tall girl had pulled her closer and kissed her again.

It felt so damn good to have her princess by her side. So perfect. Feeling the other one's naked skin on her own made Hotaru shiver. So she pulled Chibiusa even closer and deepened the kiss. For a long while they stood this way. In silence. All that could hear were their quiet groans and the noise of the warm water that poured down on them.

"I always wanted to do that." Whispered Hotaru breathless and looked loving into blurred pink eyes.

"What? Kissing me?"

"That, too." Hotaru ran her hand through Chibiusa's hands, over her cheeks, over her neck and over her upper part of the body. The princess enjoyed that feeling and closed her eyes. "I always wanted to take a shower with you."

Chibiusa frowned and opened her eyes.

"But we took so many showers. When we were smaller and..." Confused she stared at Hotaru who laughed happily. Then she kissed her little darling again. This time only shortly.

"But we didn't shower this way." She declared, still laughing, and clapped carefully on Chibiusa's back. Then she pulled her again nearer and they forgot again the whole world while they kissed.

"Hello?"

Someone knocked at the door and they both separated quickly. Deeply they blushed and searched for their towels. To wrap them around their trembling bodies. Realising very late that the door was locked. That no one would come in and see them in that situation.

"What's up?" screamed Hotaru back while she stepped out of the cabin. Chibiusa stayed under the water and looked really frightened with a sudden. Still they didn't tell the others, especially not Chibiusa's parents. The princess was too afraid of how they might react, so that they decided each week to tell them the other week. And the other week they decided that it still had time another week. So the time passed and no one got to know that they were now a couple.

"What's up, daddy?" Hotaru unlocked the door and opened it a little bit. Just enough to look into her daddy's red face, but not enough so that Haruka could see into the bathroom. "You should take more sun block."

Haruka only grinned and made a face as that hurt. Of course Michiru took care that her whole family never went into the sun without that special creme, but Haruka jogged early that morning and forgot it. Michiru still slept, because it had been Sunday, and now Haruka looked like a tomato. Surely uncle Sejya would laugh out loud when he would see her. Just to be remembered by his wife that his shoulders looked the same.

Always the same show. Each summer.

Hotaru loved that show. She loved her family. But nevertheless she wasn't prepared yet to tell them the truth about her feelings towards the future queen of Crystal Tokyo.

I don't lie to them. I simply keep quiet.

Hotaru held her towel and the door determinedly tight. Haruka didn't even make the attempt to come in. She simply stood outside and rubbed her burning chin.

That's not the same, is it?

"Don't you think that this colour suits me?"

"Are you a fruit now and no one told me?"

"You little brat..."

Haruka made a face that told her that she would get no ice cream this evening, but her dark green eyes sparkled. Shortly she leaned forward to tickle her daughter. Hotaru yelped and jumped back. Laughing helplessly.

"Stop that, daddy! PLEASE!" She let go of the door and it swung open. Haruka could see how someone closed quickly the glass door of the shower. But she pretended not to have seen it.

"Are you a good girl?"

"I am. I am." Gasped Hotaru and nodded her head. Her dark hairs flew through the air and wetted Haruka's shirt. The tall blonde giggled and turned around.

"I just wanted to tell you that the dinner is ready. Lasagne. Guess you're hungry after your bike journey." Haruka stepped out of the corridor and suddenly Hotaru smelled the delicious meal her mother did magic.

"If you'll see Chibiusa anywhere, tell her that she should hurry up, too." With those words Haruka closed the door and Hotaru could hear her walking downstairs. The dark haired girl blushed deeply and sighed relieved.

She didn't notice anything.

But how long will we be able to play that game?

Chibiusa opened the door and stumbled out of the cabin. She looked suddenly very pale and with the wet towel a little bit like a drown dog. Hotaru had to smile against her concerned thought and went over to her to help her little darling. To help her drying her hairs and her body.

"Do you think your daddy knows it?" asked the princess and slipped on the wet underground. Hotaru held her tight and looked thoughtful back at the closed door.

"I don't think so."

But she wasn't sure. Not any more.

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"Good night, Mina-mommy." The little girl sat again up in her bed and kissed the blonde. The senshi of love covered the small body again with a blanket and kissed two burning cheeks. She just read a nice fairy tale to Mayumi and the girl liked it very much.

"Good night, my Mina-chan." Minako stood up and switched off the light. Soon the stars the put on the walls and the ceiling started to glow, making the little girl believe that there was nothing but the pure sky above. Silently the young woman closed the door and took a deep breath. Mayumi finished this school year today. From no one it wouldn't be as easy as it had been the past weeks. To hide her mommy's state of body and mind before her. To behave as if nothing happened. To behave as if everything was okay. That everything was fine, when the world stopped to turn around just a few weeks ago.

May-chan believed whenever her mother wasn't around that she was in the hospital. That she was still at work, as she had always been until late in the night. Minako didn't tell her that Ami only hide inside her room. Sitting on her bed. Staring out to the window. Watching the waves on the endless sea. For hours. Being wrapped in a warm blanket. Freezing although it was the hottest summer Japan experienced during the past ten years. Ami was always very pale and trembled. Minako didn't want that Mayumi was as concerned as she was. As the others were. Of course Ami didn't want to indict him. She didn't want to talk to the police again. She didn't even go to the doctor again after they told her that she had no serious damage. That some days of taking care her body would be the same again. Maybe her body, but never her soul.

He hurt her.

Minako swallowed hard and walked slowly over to the other door.

He hurt her twice...

The love senshi wanted to see that asshole in jail. For the rest of his life. She wanted to see him suffer. She wanted to see him dead. But the chances to win in front of court were tiny. He would indict Minako for hurting him. His right arm was broken and some of his ribs were bruised. But that was all and Minako didn't see why he should get away with that. Why there was such a big injustice on this world that they couldn't take him away. Of course Minako knew why Ami didn't want to indict him. She didn't want to see him again, didn't want to tell that cruel story again. Minako knew about all the brutal details, Ami told her a lot after the incident and even more during endless long nights they both couldn't sleep. Because of terrible nightmares. The second reason for Ami's silence was that she was afraid of his revenge when the court would speak him free. That he would really come to this house and threat and maybe even hurt her family. Her May-chan.

She doesn't want to see me in jail.

That was the third reason that drove Minako almost crazy. Ami never said it directly but Minako could see it in the other one's expression whenever she told about it.

I should have killed him!

Because although Ami behaved as if everything was over, Minako knew that it wasn't. Maybe he was injured right now, but he was still a doctor. He was still free. He still walked through Crystal Tokyo. Maybe he even worked at the hospital. Maybe they had to work again when he would be able to work again. Maybe he would try all this cruel stuff again. Maybe...

No, I can't let this happen! Not again! Not...

Minako gulped again and opened the door. As she had expected was darkness all that welcomed her. Darkness and the silent sob. Ami didn't sit on her bed now. The door to the balcony was opened and the love senshi could see her love sitting in the corner of it. Staring through the bars down to the moving sea. The half moon was shinning from a clear sky. Only some tiny clouds were moved by a warm wind.

"Ami-chan?"

The shadow didn't move. Ami kept sitting in the corner, leaning against the bars. Tears sparkled on her cheeks. Tears she was tired of herself. She didn't want to cry anymore. No tear could change the past, her nightmares. Her soul. But she couldn't help it. Whenever the memory hit her, the tears were simply streaming down her face. No matter how hard she fought against them.

"Hey, little one..." Minako sat down next to her on the ground and pulled her into her soft arms. Carefully she stroke through blue strands and kissed Ami's hairs. The young doctor first stiffed, then she gave up and leaned against the warm body next to her. "Another nightmare?"

And I hadn't been around. Damn!

But May-chan had looked so pleading at her with the thick book in her arms that she simply couldn't say no to her.

"I am so sorry..." sobbed Ami after another long time

Minako had rocked her. "I am so damn sorry..."

The love senshi rested her cheek on Ami's head and stared up to the sky. Seeing some stars sparkling there.

"Why?" she whispered and felt how the young doctor crossed her arms before her chest in a protective gesture. "You're the last one who should be sorry."

"All those years..." Ami sighed deeply and felt suddenly safe and secure in that warm embrace. As safe as she hadn't felt in her whole life before. Not since that day ten years ago. "All those years I thought I went through hell."

"But..." Minako wanted to say that this was true. That Ami went through hell. All alone. With no one to be there for her. To help her. All those years she carried that dark burden own her own. Suffered the pain secretly.

"It wasn't fair from me." Cut Ami her sentence and took another deep breath. More tears escaped her blue eyes and she simply closed them. "It wasn't fair what I pushed you through. I simply gave you the responsibility for May-chan and sometimes for me. Don't contradict it, Mina, Mayumi doesn't call you Mina-mommy without a reason. To be honest, I was glad about it. I thought I could... I could finish my studies in peace and go to work afterwards without having a crying baby that remembered me always of that day..." Ami swallowed hard and felt how she stared to freeze. Automatically Minako pulled her closer. "Most of her childhood you were there and I misused you. I simply moved to Haruka and Michiru and left her there. Sure that they would take care for her and that you would do the same. Hell, I walked to work and stayed there as long as possible to forget all this stuff. I thought, that it would get better when time would pass by. But it didn't. It got worse and... and I didn't change it. For me the nightmares got more and more seldom over the years and I started to love May-chan the way I should have loved her the way I should have loved her from the beginning on. Just you..." Ami sighed deeply and shook her head. Pressing her eyelids hard together until it hurt. "I knew your feelings but... but I never reacted. I never..." Ami gulped and sobbed again. "I knew about your feelings, Mina. The whole time. But I simply misused your feelings to bound you nearer to my daughter. It wasn't... wasn't fair..."

Again she cried, this time a little bit louder. Minako held her tighter and started again to kiss her hairs. Calming she rocked the trembling body in her arms and whispered comforting words.

"I am old enough to know what I am doing, little one." Whispered Minako. "I knew that you would never return my feelings. Call me a fool, but although I knew that it was senseless, I never gave up hope. It's not your fault, Ami-chan. I am old enough to control my life. I believed that you would love me one day, too, and so I stayed. Because of you and because of our daughter."

Minako wasn't even aware that she said our daughter. But Ami heard it. As she had heard it so many times before but always tried to ignore it.

"It wasn't fair. You had to take all that went wrong in my life. You..."

"May-chan wasn't a fault, Ami. She's the best that could ever have happened to me." Said the love senshi very quietly but very determined. "I love her with all my heart and to be her Mina-mommy is more than I ever hoped for."

"But I... I never..." sobbed Ami and took a deep breath. She gulped and coughed.

"You wanted to..." another word Minako wasn't able to say. As she hadn't been able to say so many words during the past weeks.

"Hai. I was young and afraid and I wanted to finish my studies." Admitted the young doctor and trembled even more.

"But.. how..."

"It was you who convinced me that children are a gift from god, no matter how we receive them." Laughed Ami, but it was a sad, a shaky laugh. "Can you remember that evening when you had a real bad fight with Sejya about that new song and came over to me to watch TV? To blame him for his stupidity and to ask me if the song you wrote was really so silly?"

Minako only nodded, because it had been a really bad song. Sejya had been right that evening but she had been too proud to admit it.

"We watched a documentation about prostitutes in east Europe. That the state tried to take their children away from them, because their jobs weren't very respectable." Ami smiled through her tears in memory of a raging Minako who almost kicked in her TV set. "You've been very angry that evening, Mina. You screamed at the reporter that there was always a story behind each woman. That the children belonged to them. That they surely loved their children and did everything for them. Maybe they even did that job for them. That those kids were part of them, part of their lives and part of their beings. That society should chance before condemn them." Ami sighed worn and relaxed completely in Minako's warm arms. "That evening I decided to keep May-chan. Because you were right, Mina-chan. Mayumi's not responsible for what I had done. She isn't responsible that her mother is a whore. So I cancelled the appointment and some days later I told you and the others about the child I carried."

Nani?

Minako gulped as she heard the quiet spoken words.

"Shall I wash your head, Ami-chan?" she whispered and raised her hands to wipe away those sparkling tears. They looked like diamonds on a porcelain cheek. The young doctor lost weight during the past weeks and her skin was always pale. She avoided the sun and hardly ever left her room. The others, especially Haruka and Michiru, were very concerned about her, but they couldn't help her. Not even Minako was sure if she could really help her love.

"For the last time, you aren't a w..." another word she simply couldn't say.

"A whore? But I never slept with someone I loved. I didn't indict him that time because I feared that I could fail in the exams. I bought my body this way and..." Whatever Ami wanted to say next, it quietened as Ami leaned forward and simply kissed her. Not caring that this kiss felt more like comfort then love. The young doctor didn't react. She only sat there and let it happen. But she didn't push her away like she had done all the times before – when Ami had been sober. Not dead drunk and out of her mind.

"He's an asshole and what he has done is inexcusable, Ami-chan. And one day, I am sure, he'll pay for this." Minako looked into wide opened eyes and blushed slightly. "You're a beautiful woman, Ami-chan. And May-chan is a wonderful daughter. Never doubt it. Never think in another way of your little family, Ami-chan!" Suddenly tears sparkled in Minako's blue eyes as well. "Never dare to believe that silly thought he might have put into your mind. He's the one who hurt you and you didn't deserve it in ANY way. It wasn't your fault! You said no and he pushed you further. He's the one to blame, not you, Ami-chan. Not you..." Minako pulled her closer and gulped as several tears escaped her eyes. She didn't want to cry again. Not in front of the young doctor who needed comfort, not her own sadness.

"He's the asshole who hurt my loving Ami-chan and... and I'll never forgive him. Hate him, Ami-chan. Hate him, but not May-chan. And not yourself..."

Ami blinked and turned around in Minako's arms. She raised her hands and wiped away those salty tears. The bruises and the wounds disappeared slowly on her skin during the past weeks. From her cheeks, from her arms. From her belly and her legs.

"You would never hurt me, wouldn't you, Mina?" asked the young doctor with a strange tone in her voice. She took Minako's icy hand in her own one and looked deep into blue eyes that grew wide as Minako understood what Ami wanted to tell her. What she was asking for.

"Never." She whispered finally defeated. She didn't know if it was the best, the right solution. She didn't know if Ami was aware what she was begging for. But whatever the young doctor would take from her, she would give it voluntarily. If she could help her somehow with her pain, she would do it. No matter, what.

"Do you remember what I asked you in the tent in America?" Ami blushed but there was suddenly fear in her eyes. Fear and unsafeness.

"I thought you were dead drunk."

"I shook the wine into the sand under the table." Admitted Ami and finally lowered her head. She wasn't sure if she should say any more word. So she stared at the hand she still held in her own ones.

"Then you've been sober..." Minako gulped and saw again tears streaming over Ami's cheeks. "Why?" was all she asked as she put her free hand carefully under Ami's chin and forced her to look up again. To look right into her watery eyes. "Why did you say all this stuff to me?"

"Because..." more tears wetted Minako's hand and she felt how the senshi of water gulped. "Because I wanted that it all is over. That it'll finally stop. The nightmares, the fears. I wanted to finish that dark part of my life. I wanted..." The young doctor blushed deeply but the expression on her face was even more desperate. "I wanted to know how it feels... without all this pain. I wanted to make love with you, Mina. But you, you didn't want me and... and then... I had to work again with him and everything repeated again..."

Make love.

She didn't say sex.

Minako took a shivering breath and stroke tenderly over wet cheeks.

Why didn't I see it all before? Why didn't I realise that everything Ami-chan was doing was just because of that fear in her heart? Because of that asshole? Why...?

Every thought stopped to exist in her mind as Ami suddenly leaned forward and kissed her. First very, very shyly. Then she got more brave. Minako simply embraced her again and pulled her a little bit closer. Carefully she kissed her in return. She didn't want to fright her Ami-chan. She wanted to stop whenever the young doctor would be unsure. Whenever she would try to escape her touch.

But Ami didn't. Instead she tried to creep deeper into those soft arms, felt warm hands caressing her back. Feeling how those warm hands slipped under the shirt she wore during the past day. She simply didn't feel the need to change it as dusk came. No one saw her in her room, she didn't have to be beautiful for anyone. Because she wasn't any beautiful at all.

First she stiffed under the soft touch and Minako wanted to pull her hand away, but Ami held her back. The first moves were like a whip before they suddenly changed. Into something else. Into something completely different. Suddenly they felt right. Soft. Like a loving breeze on her sore skin. It seemed to last for eternity that those soft hands caressed her. Her body as her soul. She only leaned against that warm body next to her and enjoyed the loving touches. Enjoyed the soft kisses. Until the hands reached her belly and stayed on the warm skin, feeling the goose flesh there.

"Ami?" Minako broke the kiss and looked asking into blurred blue eyes. The senshi of water raised her head and stared right into her blushed face. A tiny smile laid on her face and again tears ran down her cheeks.

"You'll never let it happen again, will you, Mina-chan?"

"Never!" It was a promise Minako would never break. Not as long as she lived. He would never ever touch her water senshi again.

Never!

They kissed again and the soft hands started again to caress the warm skin.

Never, Ami.

Never again.

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"Minako? Are you ready?" Haruka opened the door and stood in Sejya's studio. He fitted out one when he bought a house for his and his family some years ago. Now he and the pop singer met once a week to train and to discuss new songs. During the past weeks they didn't meet but surprisingly Minako called him up in the morning and so they sat there again. Beneath a huge CD player as always. To listen to old songs and to discuss them. Only that Sejya wasn't the one today who played the acoustic guitar. It laid now on Minako's knee and the love senshi chewed on her tongue while she tried to control her fingers and all the strings.

"It's more heavy than I thought."

"But I think you're talented enough to learn it."

"Nice to hear."

They both laughed and Haruka was relieved to see the smile on the love senshi's face. It died away as she raised her head and saw the tall blonde.

"I have to go now, Sejya." She declared and put the guitar carefully away. "We'll meet tomorrow at the same time?"

"If you want so..." the young man turned around and grinned diabolically at Haruka. "Hello, baka, what are you doing here?"

"She's my chauffeur today." Said Minako and put her bag on her back. "We want to go shopping."

"Then I wish you luck, baka." Giggled Sejya and tried to ignore Haruka's painful look. Surely she hadn't been aware that she said indeed hai when Minako begged her to help her with her heavy bags after she stumbled through different boutiques. The way Michiru could often convince Haruka. To get her agreement when she wasn't aware that she gave it.

"Do you bring something for me, too?" he had to laugh out loud when Haruka's face darkened more.

"Hai, a big, poisonous snake, baka!"

Before he could reply anything the two women were already gone.

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Haruka watched how Minako went silently into her room before she opened the door to her own sleeping room. It was in the middle of the night, almost dawn. She was tired and felt exhausted. But strangely satisfied.

Does Minako feel the same?

She wasn't sure. But she knew that what they had done had been right. The only thing they could have done. For Ami and for the rest of humankind.

Will it finally be over? Will he be the last youma I ever fought against in my life? The last real monster?

Haruka stripped her clothes and walked over to the bed. Her wife laid under the blankets and slept. Her sea green hairs covered her pillow like a moving wave. The dying moon shone through the opened window and the tall blonde could hear the appeasing rushes of the near ocean. No, she wouldn't feel sorry. She wouldn't regret. She had been Sailor Uranus half of her life. She fought against the worst enemies, saved the world more than once. She even sacrificed herself. She even died for their queen, for the ones she loved. For her friends. For her family.

"Your rehersal lasted quiet long, Ruka." Smiled Michiru in her sleep and turned around to embrace her lover. Silently they kissed before the sea goddess dove back into her beautiful dream.

"Hai, Minako couldn't find the right lyric for the song." Whispered Haruka and buried her face in sea green curls. "But now she found them finally."

And everything is over.

At last.

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"I LOVE school holidays!" laughed Helios happily and ran through the corridor. A giggling queen followed him. She tried to catch her son. To convince him that his boxer shorts were old and that he should decide for the nice swimming pant she bought him. But he liked his old shorts and didn't want to change. Especially not when they wanted to go swimming. Finally again as whole family. After all those boring political events. Right now they had one week time free to do something together. Before the next president or the next king would come. And before Chibiusa would celebrate her sixteenth birthday in August. Still they had almost two more months but the whole court was already now crazy about that big event. The same Chibiusa was afraid of it. She didn't like to be the main actor and that comedy wasn't her taste.

"You won't get me!" Helios giggled and turned around the corner.

"Maybe I am your mother, but I am not old and..." Usagi slipped but could hold her balance in the very last moment.

"But I am faster."

They both passed by Chibiusa's door that just closed behind the two girls who used their chance to escape the queen's attention. Of course Usagi had bought them some swimsuits, too. They were screaming yellow and green and they both weren't very crazy to wear them. So they simply hide in Chibiusa's room and were grateful that Helios was now Usagi's victim.

"Your mother can be really stressful sometimes." Breathed Hotaru and sat down on the huge bed. She already wore her bikini and couldn't await to go to the beach. They would meet her parents there who were with Miyuki at the doctor's office. The little girl caught a cold during the past weekend and they didn't want it to get any worse.

"Sometimes?" giggled Chibiusa and slowly went over to the bed. She stripped her shirt and her skirt until only her bikini remained and saw satisfied how her girlfriend gulped. Just to burst out into laughter as Chibiusa stumbled and fell into Hotaru's opened arms.

"I HATE those high heels!" she protested and stripped her shoes, too. With a high click they landed on the ground.

"But you look great in them." Whispered Hotaru and brought her princess a little bit tighter. "You just have to walk a little bit longer with them."

"And why do you only wear sandals then?" Chibiusa made a face but cheered up as her girlfriend kissed her nose and opened carefully her hairs she had braided to a plaid. Soon the curls fell open on her back.

"Because I'd look terrible to stumble through the world like that."

"Oh... and I don't look terrible?"

"No, you look cute."

"OH! TARU!"

With a battle scream she crashed on her girlfriend and pulled her into the soft blankets. Soon the bed was a mess and some pillows laid on the ground around it. Hotaru's bikini top followed and soon they both kissed. Giggled and kissed again.

"I am almost sixteen, Tenô-san! Don't forget that! I can't be cute." Chibiusa sat up on Hotaru's lap and grinned at the girl who laid helpless under her and looked up to her.

"For me, you'll always be cute, my little darling." Whispered Hotaru and blushed deeply. Then she burst out into laughter as Chibiusa started to tickle her.

"I am not cute! I am a lady!" insisted Chibiusa and it seemed to be great fun to tickle her girlfriend who gasped for breath and pleaded for mercy.

"Why can't a lady be cute? AH! Little darling! MERCY!" Hotaru laughed even more and tried to defend herself. She grabbed Chibiusa's hands and pulled her closer to herself. Soon they both rolled over the bed until Hotaru laid on top of the young princess.

"That's better." She said satisfied and placed her hands on Chibiusa's hips. The pink haired girl whimpered because she thought that she would be the next one being tickled. But instead Hotaru bowed down and kissed her. With all her passion. Chibiusa forgot their little argument at the instant and kissed her in return. Loving. And longing.

Again Helios ran laughing past the door, haunted by a giggling queen. Hotaru broke the kiss and looked thoughtful at the door.

"Maybe we should get dressed and search for hour towels." She said and sighed as Chibiusa caressed her bare skin. "I am sure that your mother will leave soon."

"Soon is not now." Answered Chibiusa and there was a sparkle in her pink eyes the dark haired girl got to know too well during the past weeks. "Just gimme two more minutes."

"Only two minutes?" said Hotaru indignant. "I can remember times when you took all the night for me and now..." A kiss broke her voice and she sighed again as she felt those soft hands kept moving over her goose flesh.

"This is only the beginning." Grinned Chibiusa wolfish. No one at school would have believed Hotaru if they'd told them that the cute, innocent princess could be that evil. That there could be such a devil behind the angel's face. Hotaru loved that devil. Her little demon. "Can't you remember, I asked your daddy yesterday if I am allowed to spend the next night with you." Chibiusa bowed again deeper and shortly they kissed. "I can't wait to go on vacation with you." They both smiled and kissed again. This time it lasted again a little bit longer. They convinced Hotaru's parents a long time ago. Even the king said hai. Only Usagi was unsure. She was concerned about the two girls. In her eyes they were too young to go alone on vacation. Much too young. So the two girls tried every day to convince her that nothing would happen to them. That they would take Hotaru's phone with them to call them up. That they wouldn't go that far away. Just to have a little bit peace before the next school year would start.

With every day they begged Usagi looked more and more unsure. It was only a matter of time until she would agree and then no one would be able to hold them any longer. At least for one week they wanted to be away. To enjoy that time on their own. To behave the way they really were – a young couple being in love.

"But the door..." Hotaru held Chibiusa again tight and they looked each other deep into the eyes.

"I locked it, what did you think? I always lock the doors behind myself." Chibiusa grinned again and her hairs hair fell over her shoulders as she Hotaru simply turned around so that she was again the one of top. Now Hotaru really had no chance to escape any longer. Well, she didn't want to escape. She would never run away. Not the silly way she did almost one year ago. When she understood so many things wrong. When she had been so blind not to see that her little darling felt the same for her.

"I always lock the doors so that you won't slip away." Chibiusa let go of Hotaru's hands and stroke some strands out of a deep blushed face. Then she leaned again forward and kissed her girlfriend. Deeply. With all her feelings. With all her longing.

I love you, Taru.

I love you, too, little darling.

No, they couldn't imagine their lives any longer without the other one. They belonged to each other now. As they had always done. Deep in their lives they had always known that. They had spent their childhood together, they went together to the same school. They had always been there for each other. They spent all their free time with each other. Together they learned for school. Together they raced on their bikes along the beach. Together they went swimming. Together they watched horror movies until late in the night.

And together they would spend the rest of their future.

"Small lady, we want to go in..."

Suddenly the door was swung open and the queen stood in the middle of the room. She wore a white summer dress and a big hat covered her head. Her hairs laid opened on her back and almost touched the ground. She held a huge bag in her hands and a smile covered her whole face. It died away as she stared at the two girls down in the bed. Luck and happiness was slowly but definately replaced by confusion and disbelieve. And finally blank horror.

Nani...

Her first idea was to ask the two girls what they were doing down in the bed. Between the messed blankets. Without their shirts and their skirts. But at the second moment it hit the queen. It was too obvious what the two girls had just done. They had kissed. A kiss that didn't look like a sister's kiss. Like the kind of kiss the queen had expected from her young, sweet daughter. From her little baby she was still in her eyes. Even after almost sixteen years. She would always stay her little princess. Her cute daughter.

That kiss had looked completely different. With Chibiusa's hands on Hotaru's bare breasts. Hotaru's hand had rested in Chibiusa's pink hairs and pulled her a little bit closer to herself. No, this wasn't a child's kiss any longer. It had been a lover's kiss.

The queen gulped and stared into pink and dark eyes that were as wide as her own ones. The blushed faces were pale with a sudden and a shocked expression laid on them.

A lover's kiss?

Between two girls?

Between Hotaru and my Chibi-chan?

That can't be true!

That can't be true!

That can't be true!

Usagi stared at her daughter's hand still on the other girl's body and shook her head in disbelieve.

It can't be true!

But the same time she knew that it was.

My sweet, little Chibi-chan.

Again she remembered the first time she met her daughter. When Chibiusa came from the future to find Sailor Moon. To rescue the future with the moon crystal. Again she felt the pain deep inside her heart as the young princess finally had to return again. How great had been the joy only one some months later, after they defeated Galactica, when she found out that she was pregnant. That she carried Mamoru's and her child: Chibiusa. Again Usagi saw the little bundle that was carefully put into her exhausted arms. Again she saw the tired smile on the tiny face. Again she felt how tiny ands grabbed for her big ones.

My sweet, little Chibi-chan.

Again she remembered her daughter's first tooth. Her first steps. Her first word: Taru. How she grew up. How she visited school and got a beautiful, young lady over the years. How she was so happy that she got a big brother, Helios. How nice she had looked at her fifteenth birthday. The pride of her parents and of the whole nation. A beautiful princess that would be a beautiful queen one day. Marry a beautiful prince and have beautiful children with him. Just the way Usagi lived her life. Just the way she had imagined her daughter's life to go.

My sweet, little Chibi-chan.

The way she had imagined.

The way she had dreamed.

The way she had hoped.

Usagi gulped and the bag fell loudly on the ground as her trembling hands weren't able to hold it any longer.

The way that just broke into thousands of pieces...

"You locked the door. Sure." Hotaru's voice was shaky and low. As low as Usagi had never heard it before. Still dark eyes stared at the queen. A little bit afraid. And a little bit pleading. But Usagi didn't see it. She only saw the half naked girl laying under her daughter. Still embracing her. "Now we've got the trouble."

Trouble.

That word seemed to make her body move again. Usagi stepped over to the bed. Two big eyes followed every of her motions.

Trouble.

Chibiusa winced wildly as her mother grabbed her arm and pulled her forcefully away from the dark haired girl.

"Mommy!" whimpered the princess but Usagi ignored her. She simply pushed her aside and bowed to pick up the white shirt Hotaru had wore the whole morning. Together with the dark bikini top. Both she threw at the tall girl who stared at her with fear and disbelieve. As if she couldn't believe that this was happening.

"Get out!" Usagi's voice sounded strange in her own ears. "Get out! Right now!" she raised her voice without noticing it. Still Hotaru didn't move. She simply couldn't. All she could do was to stare into the queen's tear filled eyes. Asking her dizzy mind if that all was real. Or if it was just a bad nightmare. She would awake during the next minute. Hai, she had imagined that the day when Chibiusa's parents would find out about them would be hard. But she hadn't imagined that it would be such a catastrophe.

"I said: GET OUT!" Usagi grabbed her arms and pushed her to her feet. Her clothes escaped her hands and fell again on the ground. Hotaru blinked and glanced over to her little darling. Seeing the tears running down pale cheeks. Seeing the fear, but also the endless anger. Seeing how embarrassing the whole situation was for the princess. That her mother reacted that way and not another one.

"I don't want to see you again, you dyke!"

Dyke.

That word brought her senses back. Hotaru bowed quickly for her clothes and covered her nakedness with the shirt. Her cheeks burned now in shame.

Dyke.

She had always hated that word. But to hear it out of the queen's mouth, nothing could have hurt her more. If a classmate called her that, if a stranger called her that, it didn't matter to her. But a friend. Her girlfriend's mother. The Sailor Moon they all adored... that was something she couldn't bear. Not any second longer.

The dark haired girl glanced again over to her girlfriend who looked the same shocked. Then she turned around and stumbled out of the door. Almost knocking a laughing Helios over who still wore his shorts with pride. His laugh died immediately away as he saw the tears sparkling in her dark eyes. Strong Hotaru and crying? Helios gulped and wanted to hold her back. But she only sobbed and pushed him away. Lost her bikini top but didn't care to put it up. The white shirt hang around her body like wings as she ran through the corridor. Towards the exit door.

Helios frowned and stepped into the room. To see his little sister standing near the messed bed. With the same desperate expression on her face. Only wearing her bikini. Looking shameful. And angry. In endless rage. Just like the queen who stood opposite to her.

Mommy found out.

Helios wrapped his arms around his body and suddenly he started to freeze.

She found out and didn't react the way we all hoped.

"Usagi junior! Can you give me a simple explanation of all this?" Helios froze even more as he heard the insensible voice of his beloved mother.

Usagi junior. She only calls sis by her real name when she's really, really angry.

Chibiusa clenched her fists and shook her head. Her messed hairs fell over her shoulder and her eyes sparkled with hatred.

"Talk to me! Right now!"

The princess closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"You've been Sailor Moon, the senshi who fought for love and justice. Are you really so blind that you don't see what's up? Are you so blind..."

"SHUT UP!"

Chibiusa gulped and bowed to get her own shirt. Slowly, very slowly she pulled it over her body.

"I'll go to take Taru back. You should be ashamed of how you reacted right now." She said quietly and wanted to go. But the queen held her back. Different thoughts were spinning in Usagi's mind and they all focused on the small bundle she once had hold in her arms. Who now become a young lady. Being in love with another one.

"You'll stay! That's an order! You won't ran after that dyke!"

Dyke?

You call my Taru a dyke?

Chibiusa fought herself free from her mother and looked at her with tears in her eyes.

"You dare to call her a dyke? HOW CAN YOU DARE?" she screamed in rage and stepped over to the door, pushing a stunned Helios aside.

"I hate you!" With those words she turned around and ran. As fast as she had never run before in her life. Her love to her Taru seemed to lend her wings. Her fear about her girlfriend seemed to lend her endless powers. Her own despair seemed to lend her the will to ignore her mother's loud shouting that she should wait. That they had to talk. That she needed time.

Chibiusa only passed the guards and the front door. Left the Crystal Palace. Her home. It felt as if she would leave it forever.

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Haruka fought hard with the salad. She promised to make dinner for her love. Ami and Minako went to the cinema with the kids. Haruka was relieved to see Ami a little bit happier now. She knew that it would take another long time and that the wounds would never heal. Not really. But together with Minako and with May-chan Ami would be able to live with the scars on her soul.

So the young car racer decided to cook this evening. For her love. They were alone and wanted to spend the evening at the beach. Walking along through the low water and teasing each other around. As they had done so often when they had young. When they had moved into that light house by the sea. When they had still been Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. Searching for the talismans. Being always prepared to sacrifice each other. Being prepared to die every day. During every battle. Now that this weights was pushed from her shoulders they could enjoy such evenings much more. As they did so often during the past years. When they raised Hotaru and later on Yuki-chan. When they had been engaged and finally married.

I love her so much.

Haruka glanced over to her wife who sat on the living-room table and watched the news.

"Just switch it out, okay? And come eat." The tall blonde said and lightened the candle. She hoped that Michiru would taste her salad. Well, she couldn't have done anything wrong, could she? Because the salad was from a nice woman on the market, the sauce was from the supermarket and the wine from their cellar.

"Ruka?"

"Hm?"

"Come over and look at this."

Haruka sighed and did as her lover told her. She cleaned her hands on a tea towel whose corner was put into the pockets of her jeans and sat down next to the sea beauty. Michiru stared at the screen and the voice of the commentator got a little bit louder while she took the remote control in her hands.

"Dr. Taka Gendo, a well known specialist on the domain of heart surgery, had a bad accident the last night. As we got to know from the police, lost Dr. Taka the control over his vehicle near the beach and crashed into a deep gorge. The doctors are still fighting for his life. One, Dr. Samarusa, told us, Tokyo News 2, that the chances aren't very good. Dr. Taka lost both of his legs and lost a lot of blood." Different pictures were shown from the wreck and the gorge. The serious voice came back again. "After unconfirmed statements had the doctor been very drunk when he drove. Surely another victim of alcohol..."

Michiru switched off the TV set and for a long while they both sat there in silence.

"He's the one who..."

Haruka stared at her hands she had entwined in her lap and nodded slightly. The next moment Michiru covered those cold hands with her own ones and held them warming tight. She bowed to be able to look right into her wife's green eyes. They were a shade darker than normal and an expression laid in them Michiru hadn't seen since the time they had searched for the talismans as Sailor senshi.

"He will never do her any harm, right? As he'll never do any harm to other women." Suggested Michiru and again all Haruka did was nodding.

The wind senshi took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"He won't die. But he'll pay for what he had done. For the rest of his life."

This time it was Michiru who nodded. Then she pulled her wife closer and kissed her loving. Haruka returned it the same hungry, desperate way she had done shortly after they came back from the Marien's cathedral. After they almost lost their lives. After they had seen the other one die. After they had to sacrifice the ones they loved most.

When they stopped haunting innocent people. When they stopped harming other people. When they stopped punish demons who deserved it.

This time it had been Ami's demon.

Hopefully for all times!

They sat there for a long time. The sun slowly set and Haruka's growling stomach brought them back into reality.

"Guess we should take care for your salad." Giggled Michiru as she saw Haruka's hungry grin. It broke as the door bell started to ring.

"I won't share it with anyone else." She grumbled and went over to the door. Michiru giggled again and corrected her dress and her hairs.

"Don't be so impolite, Ruka. I am sure there's enough for everyone." The sea goddess went over to the kitchen to take care of their dinner and to put some more dishes on the table. Shortly she glanced at the watch, but it couldn't be Minako, Ami and the kids. The movie would take at least another hour and they wanted to go together to McDonald's afterwards.

Haruka still grumbled something indefinable while she opened the door. She wanted to spend this evening with her Michi-chan and now they would surely not be able to do a long walk along the sea.

So much for romance!

But the tall blonde's dark thoughts disappeared as she saw the couple standing outside. Quickly they changed into confusion and concern as she saw the tears shimmering on her queen's cheeks.

"Usagi? Mamoru?" Haruka stepped a little bit aside and let them in. "What happened?"

The queen only kept crying and even the king looked sad. Haruka heard alarm clocks in her head and gulped.

"Did anything happen to Helios? Or to Chibiusa?" the young car racer gulped again, because she knew that her daughter would be with the young princess, as she had always been. "Or to my Himme-chan."

"You can call it that way." Answered the king and Usagi cried even more. But this crying seemed to be real. It wasn't the typical Usagi crying. When Rei stole her sweets or she stumbled over a stone and fell down. This crying was more serious. And more honest.

"Do you want something to eat? Haruka made salad, but don't worry, I tasted it. It's eatable." Michiru came over to them and frowned as her partner didn't react the way she had expected. Then she saw the tears.

"Nani?"

"Is your daughter at home?" asked Mamoru and held his wife's arm as Michiru guided them over to the living room. There they sat down.

"Yuki-chan's at the cinema with the others and Himme-chan should be with you, shouldn't she? You wanted to go to the beach, right?" Haruka frowned but stood as the others sat down. Somehow she felt trapped with a sudden. Suddenly she wanted to run, as fast as she could.

"No, she ran away. Just like Chibiusa!" cried Usagi and searched for her handkerchief. "This morning she ran away but didn't return home. I thought... I thought that they would be here. That I would find my daughter here..."

"Ran away?" asked Michiru alarmed and exchanged glances with her lover who looked suddenly very, very tired. "Why should she ran away?"

"Because..." Usagi looked like a real misery. "Because..."

"Because you discovered that they're a couple." Finished Haruka the sentence for her. For a moment there was silence between them. Mamoru blinked while the queen stared with big blue eyes at the tall blonde.

"You KNEW it?" gasped Usagi finally and sobbed again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Again Haruka and Michiru exchanged glances.

"I wanted that they come to alone to us. That they tell us about it by themselves." Haruka started to walk cross the room. To the door and back. To the window and back. "That's called trust."

"You KNEW that your daughter is gay and didn't tell us?" Usagi looked more and more shocked. The tears dried and all was remained was blank panic.

"Why should I have told you?" asked Haruka in a dangerous quiet voice, because she didn't like the way the queen and king were reacting. There was something in Mamoru's eyes that told her secretly that it was all her fault. Because she didn't educated her daughter well. Because she was a lesbian, her daughter was it now, too. Just like the princess. "That's only Himme-chan's business. She's old enough to decide whom she tells it."

"But..." Usagi sniffed and kneaded the handkerchief in her shaking hands.

"Would it have make any difference if you'd know it?" asked Michiru and her voice was politely. Friendly as always. Again there was silence. Mamoru stared at his hands while Usagi sniffed again.

"I... I" she shook helpless her head. "I don't know. I am so confused and... and..." she lowered her head and sighed deeply. Suddenly she looked again like the 14 year old Usagi they got to know a long time ago. When they were still searching for the talismans. Not like the wise queen. A shinning person who didn't shine any more. Not right now.

"I really don't know, Michiru." Sobbed Usagi and gulped. "But I know that I want to find my daughter and... and..." she cried again.

Haruka took a deep breath and came over to her. Of course it was harder for Usagi. She never expected that. That her daughter wouldn't fall in love with Helios, but with Hotaru, her best friend.

"What happened?" asked the young car racer and looked for a long while in Usagi's big, frightened eyes. "I won't yell at you, Usagi."

The queen gulped and nodded finally. Still kneading her handkerchief.

"I... I wanted to call them to go to the beach and..." Usagi closed her eyes and took a shaking breath. "I found them in the bed. They... they kissed and... and..." the queen shook her head again. "I was so shocked and so... so confused... guess I freaked a little bit. I... I screamed at your daughter to go away. To leave my Chibi-chan alone. I... I called her a dyke. I am sorry, Haruka."

The wind senshi raised her eyebrows, but didn't respond anything.

She caught them in the act?

Haruka looked over to her lover whose eyes sparkled now a little bit, too.

They should have told Chibiusa's parents personally. Maybe then the reaction would have been less... less shocking.

Haruka knew that Usagi didn't meant to call her daughter dyke. People sometimes said nasty things when they were unsure and afraid. And Usagi was now afraid like hell.

"I threw Hotaru out of the room and she ran away. Chibiusa followed her..." sobbed Usagi. "Since then we search for them. We searched everywhere, but couldn't find them. Now... now it's almost night and I am... I am concerned, Haruka."

"We simply need time to think." Said Mamoru quietly.

Haruka nodded and turned again towards the window. Staring out of it. Seeing the long beach. Hearing again her daughter's high voice, a child's voice in her ears, telling her a big secret. Her hidden place only Chibiusa and she knew. And her daddy.

"Guess I know where they are..." she said slowly and looked over her shoulder back to the still crying queen. "Just promise me one thing, Usagi."

"What?"

"Try to understand her. You'll get enough time, just try at least to accept her. You are her mother, she needs you, no matter how grown up she might be."

"That's easy for you to say, Haruka. You two are..."

We are lesbians, too.

The sentence hung in the air and Haruka nodded again thoughtfully.

"Maybe." Was all she answered. Then she grabbed her car keys and looked attentively at the others.

"Let's go."

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"Do you really think that this is such a good idea, little darling?" Hotaru looked doubtfully at the cliff. This was their secret place. It had been it when they had been young. In their childhood. A cave near a cliff. How long was it now, that they had visited that place the last time? Two years? Three years? Or even longer? Hotaru didn't know. She was too concerned, because slowly the sun was setting and still they had no place to go. Chibiusa got the crazy idea to sleep in the cave over the night. And then to see what to do next. The princess was determined not to go back to the palace.

"Little darling!" Hotaru held her girlfriend back. "Do you really think that this is such a good idea? Think! We have no money, nothing to eat. We have no blanket to sleep on. Hell, we don't even have proper clothes." Hotaru pointed at her shirt she was wearing. Together with the bikini pant. She didn't even have sandals any more. She left them in Chibiusa's room behind.

"No!" answered the princess and her voice was a little bit husky. She turned around and looked with tear filled eyes at her girlfriend. "She called you a dyke, Taru! I can't forgive her that!" Chibiusa shook her head. "She never wants to see you again, so she will never see me again."

Hotaru gulped and watched how her princess walked over to the cave.

Shall we go to my parents?

Hotaru gulped and wrapped her arms around her suddenly freezing body.

Will they understand us? Will they support us? Or will they condemn us just like the queen?

"Taru?" The next moment Chibiusa was by her side and embraced her loving. "Don't worry, Taru, we'll find a solution. They won't be able to separate us." Whispered the princess and smiled a sad smile. "No one will ever separate us, Taru. No one." The girl stepped on her tiptoes and kissed her girlfriend gently. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Hotaru embraced her little daring, too, brought her nearer to he trembling body.

The princess followed her when she left the palace in tears. She finally reached her at the beach and they held each other for a long time. Both crying. Then they decided to find a place for the night. To let them all in peace. To let Usagi's mother in peace. That she should find the time to think about it all. Although Chibiusa had little hope that her mother would change.

Where shall we go?

What shall we do?

Chibiusa had seldom felt so desperate. There had always been a solution in her life before. She was the princess of Crystal Tokyo, when she couldn't solve a problem, her parents could have. But right now... there seemed to be no way out.

Taru's right. We have no money, no food. No clothes. Nothing.

Chibiusa blinked her tears away and deepened the kiss.

But we have each other.

The princess didn't know what would come tomorrow. But she knew that she loved her Taru. Whatever would bring the next day, she wouldn't stop loving her.

Wind came from the near sea and played with their few clothes. They started to shiver and broke the kiss. For a long time they stared into each other's eyes.

"Better we'll go into the cave." Whispered Hotaru and kissed her girlfriend again. "I'll see if I can find wood here somewhere to make a fire."

"You still have your lighter?" Chibiusa looked stunned.

"Of course. It's in the cave under the stone. If it still works we'll have at least a little bit light." Answered Hotaru and blushed a little bit. Chibiusa only giggled by the memory of their first attempt of smoking. It had been terrible. They both had been curious and wanted to know what was so big about it. Afterwards Hotaru had been so ill, she had thrown up her last meals and laid in the corner, as pale as limestone. Chibiusa only had to cough but she felt a little bit sick, so they threw away the rest of the cigarettes and left it. All they kept was the lighter. As reminder that they would never try smoking again.

"Okay, you'll get the wood and I'll see if our old things are still there." Said Chibiusa and bowed to climb into the cave. It was smaller as she remembered. Or did she grew taller?

It's really a long time that we've been here the last time.

Chibiusa looked around and the darkness scared her a little bit. But it wasn't as scary as the thought of going home again. Facing her raging mother again. Fearing again that she would really loose her Taru.

"Taru?" she went through the darkness and stumbled over some stones. She cursed as her head hit another stone and for some moments all she saw were stars. "Where's the stone you mentioned? Here are many stones." She screamed and could hear Hotaru's far away chuckle.

"Where our kitchen was."

"Kitchen?" Chibiusa rolled her eyes but a smile bloomed on her face as she remembered all those times she had spent here with her Taru. Two little children playing to be parents. Of Chibiusa's toy bunny. Chibiusa had been the mommy who had to care for the house while Hotaru was the working daddy.

We had so much fun here.

"What for a kitchen?" Chibiusa sighed deeply and stretched her hands. She didn't want to run against a wall. She could hardly remember where everything was. The darkness confused her. Just like the water that seemed to float somewhere near.

Strange, here had never been water.

Chibiusa frowned, but she knew that this was the right cave.

Strange.

"Taru? Here's a waterfall I guess."

"Waterfall? Are you already dreaming, little darling? The water's outside." Came from far away Hotaru's voice and Chibiusa could hear some branches falling down on the stony ground as Hotaru followed her.

"But I could swear..." whispered the princess and stepped a little bit further. Just to scream the next moment. The ground disappeared with a sudden. She stretched her arms, but found no hold.

"TARU!" yelled the princess while she fell down. Only for the split of a second. Then it was over. She laid on the ground. A hard ground. It hurt like hell. Her whole chest hurt like hell and she could hardly breathe. She wanted to shout for her Taru, that the darkness scared her so much. But she couldn't. She couldn't even groan. Nothing. All she could do was to lay on the ground, hearing the water near. Feeling the pain in her body. Seeing the darkness around her that seemed to got darker with every minute.

"Little darling!"

She heard her girlfriend's concerned shoutings, but she couldn't answer her. She wanted so badly to tell her that she was here. That she was still alive. That she laid somewhere down, but she couldn't. Tears wetted her cheeks but she wasn't even able to sob.

"Little darling! Answer!"

Hotaru let go of the wood she held again in her hands and ran into the darkness. Again and again shouting her love's name. But no one answered. Nothing could be heard. Only the noise of the waterfall. Falling constantly down.

Water?

Waterfall?

Suddenly Hotaru felt how panic grew inside her chest and overtook all her feelings.

The earthquake!

There had been an earthquake in this region just three years ago. The street near the beach was damaged and they said that maybe the subterranean area was damaged, too.

Maybe the whole cave changed during that earthquake. Maybe...

"Little darling!" screamed Hotaru again, feeling tears running over her redden cheeks. Her body trembled and she stared helplessly into the darkness. "Chibiusa! Usagi junior! Little darling! Answer!"

But no one answered.

Damn!

Hotaru sobbed and searched in the stony underground for the lighter. But she didn't find it. Her hands hurt like hell but she didn't give up. She felt her blood, but she kept searching.

Surely the earthquake put it away. If it still works. If...

She sobbed helplessly.

"Little darling..."

Please! Please! Help! Anyone! Help!

At that moment she felt the cold rising inside her body. She could feel her hairs standing up in her neck. Although complete darkness surrounded her, she knew that the shadow stood right behind her. Her shadow. Her worst nightmare.

Come to me. 

Again that voice. It seemed to be everywhere although Hotaru was sure that she didn't hear it with her own ears. But somehow... somehow with her mind.

Come to me and everything will be fine. 

Hotaru turned around and gasped as she saw the shinning person standing, no, floating behind her. There was no shadow any longer but a girl. A girl who looked a little bit like her. She had shoulder long hairs and was maybe ten years old. She wore a strange costume and held a long thing in her hands. Hotaru needed some seconds until she realized that it was a scythe the little girl was holding. A huge scythe. A dangerous looking one.

Nani?

My shadow is a little girl?

I am whatever you want me to be. Because I am you. answered the shadow and floated slowly towards her. Hotaru gulped but didn't react.

What do you want here? What do you want from me? Why are you here?

Hotaru felt the tears running down her cheeks, saw the shinning hand that wiped them away. The touch was gently but still she was frightened.

I am your destiny. I am your future. Just trust me. Just come to me. the shadow spread her arms and wanted to embrace her. But Hotaru shook her head and stumbled backwards. She stumbled and almost lost her balance. Slowly she turned her head and saw the cliff she was standing at. Deep down there was water rushing by. In the person's light's shine she could see the figure lying down there, next to the water.

Little darling!

Hotaru gasped and went on her knees. Knowing that she wouldn't arrive her. Not right in time. The water seemed to increase and if Chibiusa wouldn't get away she would drown there.

The flood is coming.

Hotaru gulped and looked shortly around in the cave. Seeing that big parts of the ceiling came down and that there was a big whole in the middle. Showing the subterranean river. The waves looked dark and threatening.

"Can you help her?" asked Hotaru and turned again towards the shadow. Still she was scared like hell, because that shadow made her see so many loved persons who almost died. That shadow wanted to take them away from her, to leave her alone behind. But whatever that girl next to her wanted from her, she would give it to her. Because Chibiusa was more important to her than anything else in the wide world. Se was even more important than her own life.

You can help her, Sailor Saturn. Just trust me. 

Sailor Saturn?

Hotaru frowned and stared at the hands that reached for her. Again. As they had done so many times before. But this time she wouldn't turn away. This time she would run as fast as the wind could carry her. This time she would remain and let it happen. Whatever it was, she would be able to take it. Because Chibiusa had to live.

Little darling...

Tears filled Hotaru's eyes again and she stretched her trembling hands finally towards the shinning girl. Seeing the smile on the young face. Seeing the love in purple eyes. Eyes that were like her own ones. Seeing her own expression in the other one's face. Seeing that the other one was the mirror of her soul.

Sailor Saturn?

Hai, that's you. A part of you. smiled the girl and bowed forward. Just trust me, Saturn. Trust yourself. said the girl and their hands touched. For a moment the girl seemed to become real. Hotaru could feel the warm palms being pressed against her own ones. She saw tears sparkling on pale cheeks. The hairs grew and the girl looked suddenly more like a young woman. Like Hotaru.

"We're the senshi of death." Whispered the tall girl and held Hotaru's hands tenderly tight. "But it's up to us to use those powers wisely. To help other people, not to hurt them."

She leaned over to the stunned girl and kissed her. It was a light kiss. Maybe a sister's kiss. Or a mother's kiss. Then she embraced Hotaru who was too confused to react. Was it real? Was that girl real? Was she real? She didn't know. But as she embraced the warm body next to her, she felt, that the girl was indeed real. At least for the next seconds. Then she was suddenly gone.

Nani?

Don't be afraid, Saturn. Trust yourself. It was not even a whisper any longer. Maybe an echo? Hotaru didn't know. She didn't care as she was lifted into the air the next moment. Her white shirt disappeared. Just like the bikini. Hotaru blushed and was ashamed that she was naked. But that feeling didn't stay for long. Because suddenly strange clothes were covering her freezing body. They were dark. Purple, black and a little bit white.

I am floating?

Nani?

Hotaru turned around, not caring what was just happening to her. Her mind was focused on only one thought:

Little darling!

Without wondering how this could be possible, Hotaru left the ground and floated to her little darling. Carefully she put the injured girl in her arms and flew over to the exit. Soon she stood in the clear night. She saw the stars sparkling over her head, felt the wind playing with the strange costume. The skirt was too short and she felt uncomfortable in those boots.

"Little darling?" she swallowed hard and looked down at her girlfriend in her arms. Chibiusa was so strange silent. So calm. So lifeless.

NO!

She can't be... NO! The shadow promised me that I am able to rescue her! NO!

Hotaru felt again tears wetting her cheeks. Without thinking she pulled the princess a little bit nearer and kissed her. Two tears ran over her cheeks and wetted Chibiusa's forehead. Suddenly a sign glowed there. The sign of a little half moon.

Little darling...

Hotaru didn't care about it. All she wanted was, that her girlfriend would be fine again. That she would live. That she would grow old with you.

Chibiusa's clothes changed slowly, too. Her own shirt disappeared and suddenly she wore another costume. It was pink and white and looked a little bit like Hotaru's.

I love you so much.

Do you know that?

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I love you, little darling.

I would die for you.

I love you...

Hotaru closed her eyes and kissed her girlfriend again. Not noticing that their costumes transformed into pink and purple bonds. They danced around their bodies. Entwined with each other. Their bodies started to glow. Hotaru gasped for breath as she felt the pain that seemed to torn her body away. But it disappeared as fast as it came. Chibiusa groaned in her arms and opened her eyes a little bit. Again wearing the strange costume.

"Taru?" whispered the princess and coughed. "Taru?"

"Everything's fine, little darling. Everything is fine." Whispered the tall girl and laid her girlfriend careful into the sand. "You just stumbled over a stone in the cave. Everything is fine."

Hotaru closed her eyes for a moment and thanked all gods and goddess that her little darling was fine.

"Taru? What's that?" Chibiusa pointed at the strange costume and frowned. "I am a Sailor senshi, too? I thought, I was too weak for it." She whispered and shook her head. "After I returned from the past I thought that I lost the ability somehow..."

She raised her head and stared at her girlfriend.

"And you're a senshi, too?"

Hotaru frowned and gulped.

A Sailor senshi? Me? Like Sailor Moon? That can't be true. That can't be true. That can't be...

Hotaru gulped again and rose from her kneeling position.

"You'll stay here, little darling. I'll call help." Hotaru pointed at Chibiusa's injured leg.

"No! I won't go home to my parents." Sulked the princess and crossed her arms determined before her chest. "I hate them!"

"Then come to me or to aunt Rei. We can't stay here. You..."

You almost died!

Hotaru gulped and stepped a little bit away.

"I wish I had my phone here..." she whispered and wasn't even aware that suddenly something laid in her hands. It was very heavy and very tall. But she noticed that Chibiusa's eyes grew wide and that she stared at something next to her girlfriend.

"Little darling?" asked Hotaru silently.

"What's that?" Chibiusa pointed over to the big staff, still not seeing what was happening.

They both gasped shocked for breath as they saw the huge scythe in Hotaru's hands.

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"That thing is great for Halloween, Taru." Teased Chibiusa but her giggle sounded shaky.

"Great? I look like death!" Hotaru pushed the scythe determinedly into the sand and stepped away from it. "That's not fun any more! What's this all about?"

"I have no idea." Answered Chibiusa and tried to get on her feet. But her leg hurt more than she had thought and so she stumbled back. Hotaru was by her side to hold her.

"Go away from my daughter, senshi of death!"

They both turned away and saw Usagi standing there. No, not Usagi, but Sailor Moon. Just the way Hotaru had heard it from her parent's stories. As she had seen it on some photos they took secretly during the past fights. The tall girl had always adored the senshi for love and justice. But today she only hated her.

"Don't touch her!" she screamed and stepped between her daughter and Hotaru.

Nani?

Hotaru stumbled backwards and almost crashed into the huge scythe.

Was is going on? Where did she come from so suddenly? Why did she transform?

Hotaru gulped and felt how dizziness waited at the rim of her eyes.

Why did I transform? To whom? Sailor Saturn? Really? Is that true? Why?

"You killed us twice. It's enough, do you hear me, Saturn? I won't let this happen again! Just because you are desperate you can't destroy the universe again!"

Nani?

I shall destroy anything?

Hotaru felt more and more dizzy. She wanted to find hold on her scythe and to rest a little bit until she would feel better.

"Don't touch the scythe! Don't touch it! Or you'll regret it, you glow worm of death!"

Hotaru's eyes grew wide as she saw the grail in Sailor Moon's hands. She had heard a lot about that special weapon.

Does she want to use it?

Against me?

"I'll kill anyone who touches my daughter!" suddenly a shadow stood right in front of her, holding what looked like a sword in her hands.

Daddy?

Hotaru frowned. That was indeed her daddy. But Haruka wore such a costume, too. Hers was blue. Blue and white.

My daddy in a short skirt?

If the situation hadn't been that scary and confusing, Hotaru would have surely laughed.

"But she's Saturn again. She woke up again. She's not your Hotaru any longer." Answered the queen and held her daughter back who tried to come over to the tall girl.

"Taru!"

But she was too weak, her leg hurt too much, than to push her mother away.

"She's my daughter, no matter, what you say, Sailor Moon."

"But she'll use her bad powers to..."

"Bad powers? I raised her with all my love, be sure, she won't harm anyone. She'll never be the lost soul again she had been seventeen years ago, Sailor Moon. Shit! You were the one who gave her a second chance. Who gave her back her life. Why don't you trust her any longer? Just because she loves your daughter?" shouted Uranus and her voice was very angry. She had clenched her fists and looked like an angel of revenge. Who ever wanted to pass her to go to her daughter, had first to fight with her. And Hotaru knew suddenly that it was very hard to defeat her daddy.

Nani?

A second chance?

Giving back life?

Harming anyone?

Nani?

Hotaru held the scythe tighter, because her legs seemed to give in her weak body.

"It was never supposed that she lives with you. We wanted her to be with her father and to hope that she will never awake again."

"But her father died and I adopted her. You were satisfied then, Usagi. Give in, you wanted that she has a nice home and shit, we gave her one. You liked her to be around with you in your palace! You liked that she was your daughter's best friend. Why the hell can't you just like her the way you used to do before you found out that she loves your daughter?"

There was pain in green eyes. Pain she had never seen there before. The same pain Hotaru saw in blue ones.

"Please, Haruka, don't make it harder than it is." Whispered Sailor Moon and closed her eyes. Tears sparkled behind her lashes. "I swore to protect this world. But she's Saturn, she's a threat for all of us. I have to take care that this tragedy never happens again."

"Fine!" Haruka spread her arms protectively before the tall girl. "Then you have to kill me first. I won't go away, Usagi. You know that. The same way you would never go away from Chibiusa!"

"I gave birth to her!"

"That has nothing to do with it!"

Two other shadows appeared. Neptune walked over to Uranus while Mamoru was next to Sailor Moon's side.

"Let's go home, honey." Said the senshi of the wide ocean and smiled loving at her wife and her daughter. "Guess there's a lot we have to explain."

"Let's go home, darling." Mamoru took carefully the grail into his hands and looked for a long time into tear filled eyes. "We need to talk." More tears streamed over Usagi's cheeks and she transformed back into the queen.

"But... but..." she stammered and pointed again over to Hotaru who still held tight to the scythe. "She's the senshi of death and destruction. She once almost killed our daughter, can you remember?"

"Lies!" screamed Chibiusa and tried to get out of her mother's touch. "Lies! Taru would never hurt me! Never!" The princess looked up to her mother and shook her head in disbelieve. "She loves me. She would never hurt me. Never! Do you hear me, mommy? Never! Because we love each other!"

Love...

Hotaru held the scythe even tighter and gulped. The world seemed to vanish away. The voices died and all that remained was silence.

Raging silence...

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She was in an ancient palace. Thousands stars sparkled from an endless sky. But there was no moon. Instead Hotaru could see the earth shinning there.

Nani?

She turned around and saw a woman standing there. She cried. Hotaru gulped as she recognized that this woman was her daddy. Her beloved Haruka who stood there in the strange costume. Looking down at two persons lying on the ground. It were Usagi and Mamoru. But they were younger. Maybe only fifteen or sixteen. Not older than Hotaru self. They laid there on the ground. In a red lake. In their own blood. A knife was still in Usagi's stomach. She had killed herself.

Hotaru opened her eyes and wanted to scream, but she couldn't. All she felt was, how she came slowly over to her daddy. Who looked at her with so much pain in her eyes Hotaru had never seen before.

"I was too late." Sobbed Uranus and crossed her arms before her chest. "I was too late. As I was too late to rescue the others. Mars, Jupiter, Venus, Mercury. Pluto. Neptune... Michi..."

No!

Mommy can't be dead!

No!

But one look into empty green eyes told her that it was true. Uranus had lost her soul mate in the final battle. Against the evil. Whoever that was.

Hotaru wanted to scream, but still she couldn't. All she could was to go over to her daddy. To kiss away those salty tears.

"What will you do now, Saturn?" Uranus' voice was insensible. As if she already stopped to live.

"You'll see her again." She heard her own voice that didn't seem to belong to her any longer. Then she turned around and lifted her scythe.

Uranus screamed.

Then the world stopped to exist.

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She stood behind a glass wall. Looking down at her mother talking to her father. She laughed and wanted to go to them. To show them the nice flowers she collected. Although she knew that flowers weren't allowed in the laboratory where her father worked.

With her unsure steps she went downstairs. But as she opened the door, she heard the bang. She was pushed away, could feel the fire around her. Could hear its crackle. Could feel the pain in her body. She wanted to scream, but she was too weak for.

The fire got stronger and stronger, took away her breath. Tiredly she closed her eyes. The last thing she felt was how her father's arms embraced her carefully.

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"The others don't like me, daddy. They hate me. They think that I am a witch." She cried and walked over to her father who sat in an armchair. "I have no friends, daddy. I feel so alone."

Her father only smiled and took her on his lap to rock her.

But he didn't listen. Not really. He didn't help her.

So the feeling, being alone and unloved, stayed in her soul. Forever.

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It was nice shady under the tree where she sat. Reading a book. She just took her medicine and knew that she wasn't allowed to do other things than sitting down and reading. It was a nice book though, but she would rather played with other children at her age.

But she was too weak. She was a freak. No one liked to play with her. No girl in her neighbourhood wanted to share her free time with her. Most of them were even afraid of her.

She sighed deeply but raised her head when she heard the angry voice.

"My hat! There flies my hat! Please, help!"

Nani?

Little darling?

Hotaru recognised her girlfriend and without thinking she stood up and caught the head.

"Arigato!" smiled Chibiusa at her and grabbed her hand. "Do you wanna be my friend?"

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Everything hurt inside her body. She could hardly breath, hardly move.

"Hotaru? Are you alright?"

She turned her head and saw her little darling sitting there in the semi darkness of a room she didn't know. But she knew in the instant that it was her own room. In her father's room.

Alright?

I am dying.

She knew it.

But I am not dying alone. My little darling is here.

At that moment the door was opened and a red haired woman came and took the screaming Chibiusa away.

No!

Not!

Please!

She wanted to shout. To scream. To beat around her. But all she could do was to see helpless how the door was closed again.

No...

Hotaru gasped hard for breath. Knowing that she would die alone.

All alone...

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She was already dead. She knew it. But still she wasn't gone. Still she was on earth. Wearing the strange costume she didn't know.

Little darling.

Hotaru saw her girlfriend lying in the huge bed. With Mamoru by her side. To keep her alive.

It's all my fault.

She sobbed and flew over to her love. Stroking shrunken cheeks. Finally giving her back her heart crystal.

I almost killed her.

"I am sorry." She whispered and bowed to kiss her little darling for the last time. There were tears in her eyes as she turned away and left her little darling.

For ever.

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"You can't do that!" Sailor Moon looked terrible. Hurt and desperate. Her fuku was torn and blood covered her naked legs and arms. Still she fought. She would never give up. That was simply her nature to fight until the end. To fight until right now.

"I have to do it. The time is come." Said Hotaru in that voice that sounded so strange in her ears. "Gomen..."

She raised her scythe again. Swung it to the ground. She heard how her parents, how Uranus and Neptune screamed. How Sailor Moon raised the grail and screamed, too.

Then there was darkness.

Nothing than darkness.

And silence.

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Hotaru didn't know how long she was in that darkness. In that silence. There were words around her. Whispering excited. Laughing. Giggling. Someone took her into strong arms and rocked her. As if she was a little child.

"Himme-chan..." she heard her daddy's loving voice near and heard a high child's laughter in return.

"We'll be great parents, won't we, Ruka."

"Hai. And be sure, she'll never have to suffer again. She'll be Sailor Saturn one day, but she won't be the senshi of death any longer, Michi. Then she'll be the senshi of rebirth."

Hotaru felt how soft lips kissed her cheeks so gently.

Then she sighed and let go in the darkness around her.

It's true.

It's all true...

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"I can't believe that you behave that way!" snapped Uranus and showed her right fist towards Sailor Moon. As she had done so many times before. When they still searched for the talismans and thought that Sailor Moon and her team would only hinder them.

"The same for you!" cried Usagi, still holding her daughter tight.

"Uranus! Sailor Moon! Stop fighting!" said Neptune and Tuxedo Mask with one voice.

"We'll go home, have a nice hot milk and talk about it!" said the king and nodded towards Neptune.

"Okay, but first, let's take our kids to bed."

At that moment Saturn sighed and collapsed into the now cold sand.

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"Did you feel that?" whispered Ami and opened her eyes. They were in the temple. It got later than they thought after the cinema and MC Donald's and so they decided to sleep in one of Rei's guest rooms. The children were already asleep. Just like Minako. Only Ami turned around from one side to the other. This time it weren't her normal nightmares haunting her down. This time it was a strange feeling inside her. As if someone called her.

A new force?

A new senshi?

Ami gulped, because she had that feeling before in her life. Only once...

"What?" asked Minako sleepy and pulled her arms around her girlfriend to bring her nearer to her warm body.

"Something happened that night." Whispered Ami thoughtful, but Minako was already asleep. Ami only smiled and let her sleep. They were awake the past nights because of a really terrible nightmare. She talked the whole nights to her and the young doctor knew that even the wild pop singer needed some sleep time by time.

I need to call Usagi tomorrow.

Ami gulped as she felt how Minako's hand rested on her belly. Remembering that there was something else that haunted her down. Something that was more real than her nightmares.

And I need to call her up.

Once again.

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Chibiusa sat on her bed and cried silently. Her parents were still at Haruka and Michiru's house. To discuss as they told it.

Hah! They only want to separate us!

They want to take Taru away from me!

She couldn't sleep although she was tired. She feared that nightmares would be haunting her down. She feared that she wouldn't wake up again. She feared that they would take away her Taru while she was asleep.

I wanna be with my Taru!

Chibiusa sobbed quietly and brought her legs to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared desperately at the ceiling. Seeing the eagle flying there over the mountains.

I can't live without my Taru.

It was alike to the princess if her girlfriend was the senshi of death. It all happened in the past, it was over. Why couldn't her mother just trust Hotaru? She trusted everyone, why not the tall girl?

I don't want to live without my Taru!

Chibiusa turned her head a little bit and stared for a long time at the knife that sparkled in the light of the bright stars that shone outside her opened window.

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"It's okay, Usagi." Haruka embraced the queen shortly and stroke her friendly over her blonde hairs. "We all do crazy things when we're afraid." She let go and looked into big blue eyes. They talked for the last hours and made their things clear. Usagi reacted, well, how a concerned mother would have reacted and now that she found time to think about her behaviour, she felt ashamed and helpless.

Haruka heard how her wife talked quietly with the king and the queen and smiled.

We just need to talk to the kids and then hopefully everything will be fine.

The tall blonde knew that there would be a lot of problems coming to the two girls, but Usagi would be able to accept their relationship. The queen simply needed time. Maybe some days, maybe some weeks more and she would be the old Usagi again. She loved Chibiusa and didn't want to hurt her.

We'll be able to handle it.

Haruka sighed and opened the door to her daughter's room. The girl had slept the whole night, but now in the light of the new born day she could see that Hotaru sat on her bed, staring with big eyes at the covered mirror. Tears sparkled in her eyes and her whole room seemed to be covered with the sun's red light.

"Himme-chan?"

The girl winced wildly as Haruka sat down next to her. Without thinking she embraced her and held her tight as Hotaru wanted to escape.

"Whatever you think right now, you'll always be my Himme-chan. I'll always love you, is that clear?" asked the tall blonde and her daughter nodded. Then she stared again at the mirror.

"Then it's true. Everything is true. I am that Saturn and I killed you all. Twice..."

"That's the past. But you can determine your future, Himme-chan." Haruka stood up and put the blanket away from the mirror. Hotaru gasped but all she saw, was her own reflection. A pale girl with messed dark hairs. With red eyes and tears streaming over her cheeks.

"You saw her in the mirrors, right?" asked Haruka silently, asked herself, why she didn't go to her daughter sooner.

Have I been afraid?

Of what?

Of hurting her?

Of hurting myself?

Hotaru only nodded and gulped.

"She showed me all the persons who were about to die. Persons I loved."

Haruka sat again down next to her and her hands rested on her shoulders. Calming. Comforting. Loving.

"Just like uncle Sejya?"

Hotaru nodded and finally lowered her head.

"Just like mommy. Just like aunt Ami. Just like you."

"Just like your grandpa?"

"Hai." Hotaru clenched her fists. "I couldn't help him. Just like Helios' parents."

Again she was pulled into that soft embracement.

"But you could help the others. You could safe them, Himme-chan. That power isn't evil. It is very, very good, Himme-chan. You can save persons with your power. Maybe you're strong enough to destroy the world, but you don't have to."

Haruka took a deep breath and pulled two pictures out of her pockets.

"That's you when you were four years old." She whispered and showed Hotaru a picture of herself. A little girl in her real father's arms. With the dark haired woman by their side. "This photo is now almost 25 years old. I found it in your father's things when we had to empty his flat." Hotaru took the photo with trembling hands and looked at it. Then she looked at the other photo in Haruka's hands. "This is you when you were four years old, Himme-chan. This photo is now 13 years old." It showed a laughing Michiru with a happy girl on her lap. They both sat on a wooden horse on a roundabout. Haruka stood behind them, her hands on Michiru's shoulders. Looking loving down at her family.

"It's true. You died during that fight, because you tried to destroy the world. To let it be reborn again. Sailor Moon could hinder that tragedy. She gave you a second life and after your real father died, Michi and I decided to adopt you." Haruka looked directly into watery eyes. "We never regretted that, Himme-chan. You're the same way our child Yuki-chan is. You're a senshi, too, just like Michi and I. But I am sure that you'll use your powers wisely."

"Chibiusa fell into a gorge and I wanted to rescue her..." whispered Hotaru and looked still at the photos. They looked old and used. Surely Haruka had them always in her pockets. "That was when I transformed..."

I love her so much.

Arigato, daddy.

"May I keep them?" she waved the pictures and her daddy nodded.

"Of course, Himme-chan. And believe me, everything will be fine. Aunt Usagi is simply confused. Leave her her time and she'll accept it."

Hotaru gulped and stared at the picture in her shivering hands.

"Do you accept it? You and mommy? That I love a girl? That I love the princess of Crystal Tokyo?"

Haruka was silent for a moment and looked thoughtful at her daughter.

"You do really love her, don't you?"

"Hai."

"And she loves you, doesn't she?"

"Hai."  
"Are you happy with her?"

"Hai."

Haruka pressed her daughter gently.

"Then we're happy, too." The tall blonde giggled. "Just don't worry when your mommy behaves a little bit crazy. Because it's always hard for parents to let her children go when they grow up. For her you're still a little baby."

Hotaru chuckled, it was the first happy sound from her the whole evening.

"You still have Yuki-chan. She's only six and will annoy you for at least the next ten years." Hotaru put the pictures away and now she grinned openly. "And I've seen the letters on the kitchen's table." Suddenly there was curiosity in purple eyes. "Do you really want to have another child? I mean, mommy and you?"

Haruka blushed and cursed herself why she didn't put them away.

Who else did read them, too?

Maybe Sejya?

Against her will she had to grin, because still she heard his groans that he wouldn't be able to live with another Haruka junior.

"Do you want another sister, Himme-chan?"

"How about a brother?"

"You know my relation towards men."

"Whatever makes you and mommy happy, makes me happy, too." Hotaru giggled.

Haruka nodded and rose from the bed.

"Do you want to talk to aunt Usagi in peace again? She sits downstairs and drinks hot milk."

Hotaru nodded and stretched her body.

"Guess you're right. She's now kinda mother in law, right?"

"Don't you tell that your mother, Himme-chan. Otherwise Michi will go crazy and search the wedding dress with you this very day."

They both chuckled and Hotaru turned around to get a pullover. She froze because of the lack of sleep. Her eyes met her mirror's reflection. Again she felt the cold raising inside her body. But there was no shadow. There was only her reflection. In that strange sailor fuku. Holding the scythe tight. Pointing with it at the person lying on the ground. Lifeless.

You have to help her. 

"Chibiusa!"

The scream could be heard all in the house.

dbdbdb

She didn't know how fast they arrived the Crystal Palace. Normally it would have taken them half an hour, Haruka didn't even seemed to have needed five minutes. The wheels screamed as she came to an halt. They jumped out of the silver car and ran towards the entrance door. Chibiusa's parents and Michiru were behind. They weren't as fast as Hotaru and Haruka. They weren't as fast as the wind.

"Shit!"

Hotaru cursed as she found the door closed.

"Shit! Little darling! Chibiusa! Open the door!" she screamed. Not caring that she would wake up the whole palace. Not caring that some guard came running towards them. She shook at the knob and kicked at the door. Nothing happened.

"Let me try." Whispered Haruka and Hotaru stepped a little bit aside. She kicked against the door, but again nothing happened. The tall blonde cursed under her breath and raised her henshin. Just two seconds later Sailor Uranus stood there. Raising her hands, forming a ball with them.

"Earth shaking!" the door was pushed opened and a chair flew across the room, crashed against the wall.

She didn't only lock herself?

She also barricaded herself?

Hotaru gulped and slowly stepped into the room. Not noticing that her clothes transformed, too. That not Tenô Hotaru crossed the room, but Sailor Saturn. She didn't hold her scythe tight, but it floated next to her. Always there in the case that she had to use it.

Little darling?

The dark haired girl gasped and tears sparkled in her eyes as she saw her girlfriend lying on her bed. Lifeless. As if she was sleeping. She had covered herself with a blanket and turned her head towards the window. Her eyes were closed. Her fingers were entwined with another and first Hotaru didn't see the spots on the wide blanket. Growing bigger with every second.

The light was switched on but Hotaru didn't notice it. She only stared at the red lake that evolved under her darling's hands. Saw Chibiusa's blood dirtying the blanket.

NO!  
"No..." whispered Hotaru and was the next moment by her love's side. She embraced her, pulled her into her arms. Saw the deep cuts in Chibiusa's wrists. A knife fell jingling to the ground as she moved her love's lifeless body.

Lifeless?

Still Hotaru breathed. Still her chest moved. Still Hotaru could feel her heart beat. Weakly, but there.

When did you do that silly thing, little darling?

Hopefully only some moments ago.

Please, live, little darling.

Don't leave me like that!

I love you, don't ya know?

I love you so much!

Hotaru felt hot tears burning in her eyes. She thought at all those wasted years. When she didn't tell her best friend how much she loved her. When she misunderstood Helios' place in the palace and ran away to America. Again she saw Chibiusa's blushed face at that Christmas Eve when she gave her that fairy tale book. When she declared her her love a little bit after. When they finally shared their first kiss.

You aren't allowed to leave me now, little darling? Can't you hear me?

There're so many things I wanted to show you. To tell you. To let you know.

Please!

Again she saw her little darling again at the swimming pool. Falling into it. Again she remembered the first night they shared together by the lake while they were camping in America. Again she saw her princess on the stage. Only singing for her. Again she felt all those soft touches, tasted again all those sweet kisses.

Don't hide in your dreams, little darling!

Come back to me!

Don't hide in your dreams, love.

Not, when life is the greatest dream of all!

Somewhere Haruka shouted that they should call an ambulance. That they should hurry up, somewhere had to be the king's private doctor. That it was really an emergency. Somewhere far away Usagi started loud to cry. But Hotaru didn't take care of them.

Little darling.

I love you.

Don't ya know?

Hotaru closed her eyes and held her girlfriend tighter. Feeling the power that flew through her body. Through her arms. In her hands. Over to Chibiusa's arms she held so tight. Desperately to stop the bleeding.

I love you more than my own life.

I want to share eternity with you.

Don't ya know?

Pain flashed through her body but she didn't let go. She felt the scythe right by her side, felt the shadow sitting next to her. Endless power filled her whole world. Together with a soft melody. A melody without real music. It was there. In her head. Only in her head. In her world. In the world only she knew. She had never shared before with anyone. Only with her little darling.

I love you so much.

Don't ya know?

Don't ya know?

Hotaru pulled her girlfriend tighter and her forehead seemed to stand on fire.

Hai, I know.

I love you, too, Taru.

There was another glowing. A golden one. She could see it through her closed lashes. Could see the light that filled the whole room. A golden light being mixed with a purple one. Wind played with her clothes and again she felt the ribbons around her body. Slowly embracing her little darling, too.

Hai, I know, Taru.

I want to spend eternity with you.

The pain vanished and all that remained was a pleasant, warm feeling. Hotaru sobbed silently and her whole body trembled from the effort.

I will never hide in my dreams again, Taru. Never. Not without you.

I know that you love me.

And I love you, too.

She felt how hands touched her own ones. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at Chibiusa's hand stroking her fingers. There was still blood on the blanket, but the wounds were gone. The skin of both wrists was soft and a little bit pale. As if it was never touched before.

"Little darling..." whispered Hotaru and stared for a long time in pink eyes. Not noticing that Usagi fainted. Not noticing that the doctor finally arrived and Haruka yelled at him why it took him ages.

All she saw was her girlfriend who laid still in her arms. They were both naked, only purple bonds covered their bodies. Their hairs were messed and they both looked really, really tired.

"Taru..."

They both smiled at each other before they kissed.

Nothing will ever tear us apart.

Nothing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	8. Epilogue: I promise

Epilogue: I promise 

It was early in the morning when she woke up. She heard the rushes of the near sea through the opened window. As she heard the regular breathing right by her side.

Hotaru grinned happy as she opened her eyes. To see her girlfriend lying by her side. Under the thin blanket she had wrapped around her body. As every night she had stolen Hotaru's pillow. But the dark haired girl didn't care about that. Her little darling was by her side. Right here. She loved her and wouldn't run away from her.

I am so happy.

She had never thought that she could be so happy. Just one year ago she had been so unsure, so afraid of how she might react.

Today's her birthday.

Hotaru giggled and crept nearer to her girlfriend. To wake her up with a special good morning kiss. A kiss that would at least last for the next two hours.

And in three days we'll celebrate it official in the Crystal Palace.

"Taru?" Chibiusa opened her eyes and blinked sleepy at her. "Is it already noon?" she whispered because it got late the last night when they finally went to bed.

"Happy birthday, my little darling." Whispered Hotaru loving and kissed her girlfriend with all her deep feelings. Chibiusa giggled and pulled her love closer to her slowly awakening body.

"I wish I would have birthday every day. To be waken up this way."

"When you like it that way..."

They both giggled and kissed again.

And then, little darling, I'll finally give you the present I bought so many years ago.

I almost threw away the last year.

But then you'll get it. At last.

Because this year I am sure that you'll accept it.

dbdbdb

"I wish we could celebrate her birthday here and not in the Palace." Sighed Haruka and tried to keep awake. It was early in the morning and they promised Rei and Usagi to help them with the preparations. Of course Sejya wanted to sing and even Minako told them something about a song she wrote lately. It was a big risk, because some of her songs were pretty bad, but nevertheless Sejya let her sing it. Whatever it would be this time. Because she improved a lot, her last song had been very touching. On the other hand Minako had such a great voice, the audience would forgive that voice everything.

"And Makoto really wants to cook the whole food? For all those people?"

"You know her." Giggled Michiru and danced through the kitchen. She just made breakfast. Some stirred eggs with ham and for her muesli. "Chibiusa only gets sixteen once. So they want to celebrate it."

"Yap, celebrate. Minako takes every chance to celebrate." Haruka yawned and Michiru had to admit that her wife looked simply sexy. With the messed hairs, the boxer short and the shirt she simply forgot to button.

I'd like to...

Michiru smiled loving and put the milk out of the fridge.

No! You promised them to help!

"Morning, Ami."

"Morning, Ami."

Greeted the two outer senshi. Ami only marbled something and sat down, too. She looked still very sleepy, too, but already wore a violet summer dress Minako once bought her. It was now August and again very hot. For two weeks it rained in July but summer returned fast and now they all sweat again.

The senshi of water sat down and stared at the newspaper. Without really seeing. Sometimes she had this strange mood. After what happened two months ago Haruka and Michiru knew how to handle them: To distract her.

"Minako has a rehearsal with Sejya right now. She'll be here in about two hours. You shall wait for her. We'll take Mayumi with to the temple. I am sure the two girls want to help, too."

Ami only nodded and looked at the filled dish Michiru put on her place. Her face got pale, almost green, as she stared at the stirred eggs and the ham. They were still hot and smelled maybe delicious, because Haruka ate them with great appetite, but Ami felt suddenly very sick.

"Excuse me." She whispered before she turned around and left the room quickly.

Haruka and Michiru exchanged glances and sighed deeply.

"I hope Minako finds an solution." Said Michiru thoughtful and took her own glass of milk and sat down next to her wife.

"Whatever they decide, we'll be there for them." Haruka groaned as the stirred egg fell right on her boxers instead into her mouth.

Michiru only giggled.

dbdbdb

They didn't need long. Maybe twenty minutes away from Haruka and Michiru's house was a nice little suburb of Crystal Tokyo. With nice houses and a lot of threes around. It was friendly green and hardly any car noises from the big city could be heard. Minako parked the car in front of a big house that was surrounded by green walls – bushes. Huge, old trees stood there and there was even an old swing at one branch.

"The last inhabitants moved last months. They went to Europe." Explained the pop singer and opened the door for Ami. "It's nice, isn't it?"

"Hai..." Ami frowned, not knowing what they were doing here. Nevertheless she followed Minako through the nice garden over to the front door.

"You have a key?" asked the young doctor surprised. Still she didn't start to work again and she wasn't sure if she would be able to work during the following year. She spent most of her time with the senshi of love and her daughter. But Minako never told her that she had a key to such a big house.

"Hai. The lawyer gave it to me. I have to give it back tomorrow. And to tell him if we'll buy it or not." Minako opened the door and spread her arms as she jumped into the big hallway. "Tadam! Isn't it beautiful? With all the windows and the pillars? I simply love it, Ami-chan. We even have a swimming pool. For my sea nymph."

Ami stared speechless at her girlfriend and slowly, very slowly she entered the nice cool shadow.

"Nani? Do you want to move in here?"

"Why not? We can't live forever with Haruka and Michiru. And this house is simply perfect." Minako grinned at her but then she got suddenly very, very serious. "I want to live here, Ami-chan. Together with you. With you and May-chan." The love senshi blushed deeply. "Maybe it's kinda attack for you know, but, hey, you can at least try it. Still the rooms aren't furnished, but I am sure that we'll find the right furniture." Minako's eyes sparkled as she came again over to her Ami. "I want to have a big bed." She giggled and embraced her girlfriend who was still too stunned to reply anything.

Suddenly Minako pulled her closer to herself and laid both hands on Ami's belly over the violet summer dress.

"This house has two children rooms." She declared silently and saw directly into Ami's eyes that grew wide and were suddenly filled with tears.

"How..." gasped the young doctor and wanted to turn away. But Minako held her back. Held her tight to her body. She would never let her go. Never again. Because then she would loose her forever. Minako knew that.

"It's not your first pregnancy, Ami-chan. I see the signs. Every morning. And I see it in your eyes." Before Ami could answer Minako had kissed her. With all her love. Then she looked again very serious into watery blue eyes.

"Whatever you'll do, Ami, I promise, I'll be there. However you may decide, I'll accept it." Minako gulped and stroke tenderly over the still slim belly. "If you don't want it, I'll go to the hospital with you and we'll go through it together." She gulped again as she felt Ami's icy hands on her own ones. "If you want to keep it, it'll be an honour for me, to be its Mina-mommy, too."

Ami blinked and some tears ran over her cheeks.

"Are you sure, Mina? Do you really want to live with someone like me and my illegitimate children?" whispered the young doctor and sobbed. "You know what it means."

A wide smile spread on Minako's face.

"Of course I know what it means. Changing nappies. Playing the goofy to make it laugh in the middle of the night. To watch you breastfeed it. To explain little May-chan that she's a big sister." Without warning Minako took her Ami again in her arms and swirled around with her. "And to love you, Ami-chan. To love you till the end of our days!" She swirled around with her and the senshi of water had to laugh.

"Okay, you convinced me, Mina."

"Not only convince. It must be your decision, Ami-chan."

The young doctor looked into blue eyes she got to love so much during the past months. During the last years. She knew that it would be a hard way. That hard times laid before them. But they would be worth it. The same Mayumi was worth it every day.

"It's my free will, Mina-chan."

With those words she leaned forward and kissed her girlfriend tenderly.

In their new house. In their new home.

dbdbdb

It was nice dark behind the curtain of the stage. The whole palace seemed to sparkle and the sun was shinning so brightly, Chibiusa was almost blind now.

The birthday party started two hours ago and she simply needed some moments of rest. With her girlfriend, of course.

"Are you sure that no one will see us?" Hotaru looked unsure around. But there was no one. Only the piano Haruka would play in the evening. Right now the stage was empty. Far away they heard the music and the people talking excitedly.

"One more hand shaking and saying arigato, it will surely fell off..." sighed the princess and giggled. She hated the dress she had to wear today. It was long and white. It fitted perfectly to her pink hairs she had put together with a net of roses on her back of her head. Hotaru loved the dress. Because it had the zipper on the back. Very easy to open for her. And she would use it in the night when she would stay at the palace. In Chibiusa's bed. To tickle her the whole night. To tickle and to love her.

"But you'll get a present every time. Guess that will make it up again, neh?" laughed Hotaru and kissed her tenderly. For a long while they stood like that and enjoyed the other one being by their side. Chibiusa's hands went under the top of Hotaru's light blue dress that hardly touched her knees.

She looks so sexy!

It was very hard not to touch her girlfriend under the eyes of all those people.

I love her so much!

They both looked deep into each other's eyes. Remembering the past months. Remembering everything that happened during the last year. Helios' parent's death, his adoption. Hotaru's runaway to America. The worst Christmas Eve in their lives that turned out to be the best they ever celebrated. Their long letters during the following four months. Their camping vacations in America with almost the whole family. The concert when Chibiusa sang her love song only for her Hotaru. How the queen found out about their love. How they ran away from home. Again they remembered how they transformed into Sailor Chibimoon and Hotaru for the first time in her life into Sailor Saturn. They had been so afraid that their parents would separate them, that Chibiusa did the silliest thing in her whole life: She tried to commit suicide. Something she would never, ever do again. Not when her Hotaru was by her side.

We had been lucky in the end.

Hai, they had been lucky. The queen needed her time but some weeks later she even allowed them to go on vacations: all alone. It had been the best seven days of the whole summer. They spent it in a small hotel in the south of Japan and took tons of pictures.

Now I stay here. Again. With the same gift. Just like every year.

But this time Hotaru would give it to her little darling. Finally. After all the long time she already owned it.

"You didn't receive my gift." Giggled Hotaru as Chibiusa looked suddenly very, very greedy at her.

"Again a wet toy puppy?"

"Hey, you've been the one falling into the swimming pool."

They both laughed. Then Hotaru let go of her princess and pulled the little package out of her dress' pockets. Suddenly her hands trembled as she handled it to her girlfriend.

"What is it?" asked Chibiusa curiously and tore the wrapping paper apart.

"I have it now for over six years." Whispered Hotaru and looked suddenly unsure.

"Six years?" Chibiusa frowned and stared at the little box in her hands. "So long?"

"We'll, I've been very early sure about my feelings." Hotaru blushed now and shrugged her shoulders. "But I've never been sure about yours. So I always put it away, because I didn't want to hurt you."

"You'd never hurt me." Chibiusa leaned over and kissed her girlfriend. Then she opened the box and gasped as she saw the silver ring in there. The little diamond sparkled in all colours of the rainbow.

"Taru... that... that must have cost you a fortune."

"I saved all my money for almost a year to buy it for you." Again Hotaru shrugged her shoulders and blushed even deeper. She watched how Chibiusa took the little ring out and looked at it from all sides.

"Little darling?" suddenly there was a lump in her throat, but she ignored it.

Now or never!

"Hai?"

Hotaru went slowly on her knees and held suddenly a red rose in her hands.

"In two years, when you're old enough, I promise that I'll ask you, little darling."

Chibiusa looked at her girlfriend, at the rose, at the ring and finally again into sparkling purple eyes.

"And I'll promise you that my answer will be hai."

The princess fell into her girlfriend's embrace and kissed her with all her passion.

dbdbdb

Minako sat on the stage, right in front of the curtain. She held a guitar in her hands and smiled into the audience. Only seeing Ami and May-chan sitting there. The whole day had been chaos and Minako didn't even have the time to ask her girlfriend how the meeting with the doctor had been.

A boy or a girl?

Will they be able to tell it right now?

First she wanted to sing that song. A tender melody that filled her mind during the past weeks when she held a sobbing Ami tight who always said that she was a whore. That she wasn't married but had a child. That no one would ever love her.

I love you.

And be sure, you won't be unmarried for any longer.

Minako smiled over to the Sailor Team and started to play and to sing in a soft voice.

"We've made houses for hatred

It's time we made a place

Where people's souls may be seen and made safe

Be careful with each other

These fragile flames

For innocence can't be lost

It just needs to be maintained

I want to live bravely and love without fear

I want always to feel the wings of grace near

We all will be Christed when we hear ourselves say

We are that to which we pray

We've made houses for hatred

It's time we made a place

Where people's souls may be seen and made safe

Be careful with each other

These fragile flames

For innocence can't be lost

It just needs to be maintained"

I want to live bravely and love without fear, Ami.

I want to love you all of my life, Ami-chan.

You and your children.

Our children...

The audience, mostly friends of the queen and the king, and all the politicians applauded. But Minako didn't even notice them. She put her guitar away and went over to her Ami who looked with tears in her eyes up to her.

You never lost your innocent, Ami.

For me you're my one and only love. No matter what happened. I'll always be there for you.

Don't ya know?

One look into Ami's blue eyes told her that she knew.

"I love you." Whispered Minako and kissed her. Not caring that half of Japan watched them.

"I love you, too." Whispered Ami back.

Mayumi grinned happily as they separated after a long time.

dbdbdb

"This is a great party." Michiru went to her wife's side and stole a roll from her plate. Haruka didn't complain this time. She only smiled at her lover and kissed her shortly before she took herself a roll.

"Hai. But I guess Chibiusa's hand aches too much. I saw her walking away with Himme-chan ten minutes ago." Answered the tall blonde and looked thoughtful over to Minako who just finished her song and embraced her Ami.

I am happy that they're finally a couple. They belong to each other.

"How was the doctor's appointment?"

Now it was Michiru who giggled. Because Minako had no time with the party and the preparations she offered to drive Ami there and to take her home again.

"There're coming busy times." She giggled even more as she saw her lover's confused look. "Ami carries twins. Still we couldn't see the genders, but the doctor is sure that there'll be two more children in this chaotic family."

Haruka blinked and looked over to Ami who kissed her Minako with passion.

I wish you all the best.

"Mina will be totally crazy."

"Of course."

"A total wreck."

"Hai."

"It'll be a real torture for her."

"Right."

"But she'll enjoy every second."

"Be sure, she will."

They both grinned at each other and Haruka put her plate away and embraced her lover from behind and pulled her softly closer. Yuki-chan ran through the whole palace, haunted by Helios whom she stole a coke.

"Do you remember what you told me when we had Hotaru for the first time at home?" asked Haruka while she kissed her lover's sea green curls.

"No? What?"

"That we would be great parents." The tall blonde rocked her wife and grinned. "I thought you were wrong. But now I see that you were right. It's great to be parents of those two devils."

"Our devils."

"Hai."

"Even with all that chaos?" giggled Michiru and stroke her wife's arms. Haruka closed her eyes and purred.

"I do love all this chaos, don't ya know?"

At that moment the curtain fell down and they could see two girls behind who kissed loving.

End

**Okay, before I forget, some more disclaimers:**

The song Hotaru sings all alone in the night in America is "Sacrifice" by Elton John. I borrowed it in deep respect. Minako and Chibiusa sing in duet the song "Everything I do (I do it for you)" by Bryan Adams. First I planned it to be the main song, but then it fitted better in that part of the story. Last, but not least, the song Minako sings only for her Ami to show her that she loves her the way she is and that there's no reason to be ashamed of the past is "Innocence maintained" by Jewel. Arigato, Adri-chan, for that CD. It's a great work of art!

What more? Well... I hope you liked my story. It's pretty long, but I gave up cutting anything -. It's senseless with me. Hope you liked my version of Hotaru becoming Sailor Saturn and I hope you liked the couple of Hotaru and Chibiusa. I have to admit that I don't like Usagi and Mamoru very much (to Dani: he IS a workaholic, otherwise I wouldn't stand him in my stories -), but, hey, Chibiusa spent all her childhood with Hotaru in Hotaru's house. With Haruka as Hotaru's daddy. There MUST be some things that influenced Chibiusa's behaviour, too -. So she's a main part of the story, too.

I simply think that this couple is cute.

Whoever disagrees, well, you have the right to have your own opinion -.

Why I decided to make such a big story out of Ami and Minako? Don't ask me, I am only the author. I am only the poor soul who writes the story -. Well, it came into my mind when I wrote the prologue and after I changed all my notes again they got such a big part, too.

I wanted Chibiusa and Hotaru to stand between a happy couple: Michiru and Haruka and an unhappy one: Ami and Minako. To let them decide which way they want to go.

Of course I had to make a happy end to those senshi, too -.

"Cover the mirror, hide in your dreams"

Sometimes life can be cruel. Sometimes life does what it wants, not what we want it to do. But that's not a reason to give up. We just have to stand up each time we fall down. To go on with it. To keep dreaming our dream and to work hard that we might be able one day to make it real.

There's no reason the cover the mirror or to hide in our dreams.

We have to live them.

Arigato again to all readers who read again such a long story. I hope it was worth it -.

And a special arigato for my Adri-chan and my Laura-chan. Without you I guess I would have never wrote that story. Or at least I would have never had the power to finish it.

April Eagle

20th April – 6th July 2001


End file.
